These following pieces are a few from the November 17, 2010 Issue of the Homeschool Minute an e-newsletter by The Old Schoolhouse. I hope that every thing is given credit properly as I certainly didn’t come up with these but I think they are quiet useful and I really wanted to share them. By the way if you don’t get the homeschool minute, I do recommend it. Lots of encouragement there.
Preparing to Answer Questions From
Family at the Holidays
While some of you may be eagerly looking forward to the holidays, envisioning a loving family gathered around the table or cousins enthusiastically playing games, I know that the holidays can be very different for others. For some it might feel more like marching in to the Spanish Inquisition, with pop quizzes for the kids, discussions of all your kids are missing by not being in public school, and questions about when you’re finally going to let them go to “real” school.
I think one of the key things that you can do is to prepare yourself and your kids. You don’t want to approach the situation with dread, you just want to be prepared so that neither you nor your children are caught off-guard. Face it, while many of us in the homeschool community understand why a child might not know what grade he is in, that’s typically not going to fly well with people used to traditional schooling. Remind your children about what grade they are in, remind them about what they are learning, remind them about their manners, and remind them about some of the field trips, activities, etc., that you all have enjoyed. Many kids just kind of freeze when they are put on the spot with questions, so it’s better to practice the best ways to respond. And you may need to think of ways to answer the questions that your family throws your way. Pray and ask God to tender your heart and give you wisdom in answering those questions. Don’t feel like you have to be perfect, and don’t feel like you have to “change their minds” about homeschooling.
You all can still love and respect each other even if you don’t agree about educational options. No matter what you say, people usually respond well to love. These holidays may be a good opportunity for your children to see you loving the unlovable, turning the other cheek, building relationships by finding common ground, keeping your focus on the Audience of One, and pouring into others’ lives.
I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family and friends. Start preparing your hearts and minds now.
Nancy Carter
THM Editor
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Mercy Every Minute
Deborah Wuehler, TOS Senior Editor
How long will you try this interesting experiment of homeschooling? What will you do if you fail? You’ll put them in a real school in high school, right? What will the children do for socialization? How will they face the real world? Don’t you think they are missing out on a real education? Don’t you think you should leave education to the experts?
And the questions go on and on. And those questions are especially hard at the holidays, not just because it can be tiring and frustrating to continually defend your educational decisions, but because the questions come from those who are supposed to love and understand you the most: your family.
When a friend heard what our subject would be this week, she said, “Oh my goodness, I remember those days. I dreaded getting together with family when we first began homeschooling. I was so insecure; I would make the kids memorize history facts to recite to the family. I even made them go around doing surveys with questionnaires and charts to turn the attention onto the family and off of the homeschooling questions. I’m so happy that we’re beyond that now.”
Have you been there? Me, too. Have you been hurt by words that were not thoughtful or were unkind? Me, too. They may not mean to hurt us, and are just curious, but when family members speak against our choices, we tend to take it personally. After all, we’ve banked our lives (and educational choices) on obeying Christ, and they just don’t understand.
So, this year, instead of taking it personally, take it personally to the throne of God and intercede for those who don’t understand.
In Matthew 5, we are told to pray for those who “persecute” us. That doesn’t mean the kind of prayer that says, “Change them before I disown them!” It’s the kind of prayer for their very souls; that God would draw them to Himself; that God would give you wisdom in dealing with them; that God would open their eyes to see Him; that God would soften your heart toward them; that God’s Word would reveal to them what your words have failed to reveal to them.
There’s a reason we are admonished to “think on those things that are pure and lovely and of a good report.” There is a reason we are told to “cast our cares” on Him. The reason is our freedom: freedom from the discouragement that could so easily swallow us up; freedom to praise God instead of ponder that other person’s actions; freedom to pray for those whom no one else may be praying for; freedom to follow God’s commands rather than our own emotions.
The holidays should be a time when we turn our attention toward God, loving Him with all our heart, soul, and strength, and then turn our attention outward: loving our friends, family, and even our enemies. It’s not a burden; it’s an opportunity to show the love of God to a dying world.
~Deborah
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The Familyman
Todd Wilson, Familyman Ministries
The way I see it, you have only a few options when dealing with the unavoidable homeschool questions that well-meaning Aunt Bertha asks every Thanksgiving AND Christmas.
- Pretend that you don’t hear her and hope she goes away.
- Act like you’re choking on a turkey bone and hope that in all the commotion she forgets what she just asked.
- Take the bold approach, stand your ground, and say in a commanding voice, “Yeah, we’re still homeschooling, you old busy body . . . what’s it to ya?
- Smile pleasantly and make comments about the food . . . “My goodness, Jane’s noodles are tender this year . . . Did you ever taste such creamy potatoes?”
- Before she can ask about homeschooling, beat her to the punch line: “So is your daughter still sending her children to that pagan institute that is Hell-bent on her destruction?”
- Or better yet, just answer her questions, confident that you’re doing what God would have you do. Don’t feel like it’s your job to convince her (or them) of all the benefits. Just answer the questions and let your children be the PROOF. They’ll see the difference.
Note to dads: Dad, it’s your job to be a knight-in-shining-armor and protect your sweet damsel from dragonish relatives. Stand up, take the brunt of the questions, and let your wife hide behind you.
Be REAL and don’t whitewash the cold, hard facts,
Todd
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It’s Just Common Sense
Ruth Beechick, Curriculum Specialist
and
Debbie Strayer, Homeschool Consultant
The scene is the kitchen of a family member’s home, with preparations for holiday meals in full swing. In the midst of happy chatter and kitchen activity, you see the sight you have feared! Great Aunt Sally (the lifelong teacher) has just cornered little Johnny, asking him to read “just a few sentences” for her. You make a beeline for the living room and arrive in time to share how wonderfully your school year is going.
You have diligently protected your children from discouraging voices, waiting for their God-ordained timetables to kick in. You know family members mean well, yet their questions can produce a stress that takes much of the joy out of previously joyful gatherings. What can you do to help others see the fruit of your labors?
While sharing about your homeschooling, use educational terms like mastery learning (you don’t move on until they actually have learned the material), hands-on learning (you use manipulatives and activities), and tutorial approach (you customize your instruction to fit your child’s strengths and weaknesses). You are the expert on your children, so don’t be afraid to sound like it! With many children, the best evidence of homeschooling success shows later. So be patient, and in time relatives will see the wonderful character of your children.
~ Debbie