Posted in The View From Here

The past year has brought about many changes. In August of 2005, my beloved mother-in-law passed away and my then-husband began a downhill slide. In October he walked out of his job of 13 years, stayed unemployed for four months (depleting our savings) and distancing himself from his family. We thought he'd be okay when he finished therapy and started to do freelance work for a toy company, making production films and  other works for a group of ministers who owned and ran the company.

Then he found a steady job in Gothenburg, 200 miles away. But the job turned out to be editing film for a large Swedish pornography distributor and the toy company dismissed him. How could they not? He moved to Gothenburg and "visited" us on the weekend, promising that this job was just a steppingstone (because he knew I was against it), that he would move us out to be with him as soon as we could afford it and everything would be "fine".

What I didn't know was that during the week, he was living as a single man while I was struggling alone to raise the girls and battling the local officials for the right to home school. After three months, we followed him to Gothenburg to find out that he had no intention of leaving his job. His single, 37yo supervisor had become his new best friend and he began working long hours and becoming secretive about "his" life.

In September, he called me from work to tell me he wanted a divorce. He stated that he didn't want to have the "burden and responsibility of a family" anymore and that he wanted to "go on with [his] life while [he] was still young enough to enjoy it". He told me he never wanted any more than his two eldest children (from his first marriage) and that he felt no responsibility toward us. He left us with no money, no job, living in a new and strange place with no one to turn to.

I had a meeting with a lawyer, who explained that in Sweden divorce is a no-fault action and even though he is legally required to pay maintenance until we are divorced, if he chooses not to there is no sense in going to court because it will cost me more in legal fees than I would get to live on. At that time, I also found out that he was receiving nearly twice as much salary as he told me he was getting and had been getting raises of clothing, money and a new laptop ($3000) disguised as "personal gifts" (which legally, I couldn't touch). 

He chose not to provide for us, but God in His mercy worked the situation so that he HAD to pay the rent. A friend from the States offered to loan us the money to buy tickets to visit my family while the divorce was pending and he signed over custody of the girls to me. God has been with me and the girls through it all.

I don't know where we go from here - whether we'll settle in the States or go back to Europe to live (it's the only life the girls have known and the culture shock of being in the USA is incredible) - but I do know that God will continue to be with us no matter what. In the meantime, I am looking for work on both continents and we will go where I find a job. The girls are enjoying homeschooling without a hassel and getting to know their American family. Baruch haShem.

Posted in The View From Here

I love reading Dad's Corner; Steve Walden's blog never fails to touch my heart. His last post tells of a weekly fishing trip he's taken with his 7 year old son and his father. It encompasses blessings of loving generations, a real father's heart and the best way to teach a child. It brought tears to my eyes.

I love my husband. However, he comes from a culture where children are separated from their parents at age one and families are little more than room mates. I am American and come from a culture where family is second only to God. We have a 14 year old daughter just stepping out into womanhood, a 12 year old daughter on the verge and a 4 year old daughter who is autistic and requires so much attention. It breaks my heart to have to stand by and watch the gap between him and our daughters grow day by day.

The eldest is at an age where she needs a hero-dad more than ever; someone who will listen to what she has to say but offer protection from things that are still scary to a young girl. They are so alike, and perhaps that is why they seem to argue all the time. She's becoming resentful.

PreTeen Girl is Papa's little computer nerd. They both love music and computer games and messing around with graphics in Photoshop (yes, my 12 yo can "do" Photoshop). And yet I can't get the two of them together.

He has spent so little time with the Amazing Danibear , her level of tolerance for him is that she will allow him to take her to the store, because she knows he will buy her candy and she adores riding in the car. Last night, I was working on some text and she wanted me to read her favorite book, "Baby Koala Finds A Home". He offered to read it and she screamed; I handed him the book, hoping to coax her into it but she grabbed it from him and ran!

Please don't get me wrong; Gunnar is a good provider, a decent man with a gentle heart. He blesses each one on Shabbat (and you should see their eyes light up when he does). He tries to give them material things that he thinks is their hearts' desires. I know that if I dishonor my husband, I dishonor myself. But what I'm wanting to stress here is that daughters need daddys too; I can only give him gentle prodding and pray much in silence that he will one day be the father God created him to be. In the meantime, I see the loneliness and hurt in our daughter's eyes ...

Please, Dads, be involved with your daughters. They don't need your gifts so much as they need the gift of YOU.

Posted in Information

We've been so busy with tending the garden, foraging and life in general that I have a lot of entries begun and very few finished! The time passes so quickly...

FIVE WEEKS left until school "begins"! I know; school is a year-round thing. What I mean is that we have five weeks to go until the public school year begins in Sweden, which puts us on a certain timetable since payday here is only once a month. Also, whether or not we are allowed to homeschool is greatly affected by how much our school is similar to public school.

I'm not kidding. More than one family with whom I've had contact since moving to the west coast of Sweden at the end of the last school year has told me they were approved and not harassed since they followed the public school calendar and bought and used the same school texts. You can actually purchase the real texts here. It's not cheap, but providing the funds is not my "worry", but His.

We've decided to take other parents' advice -- mostly. DH contacted local schools and found a Christian school that not only gave us the name of their text publishers, they provided us with which classes, what hours and schedule our daughters would have if they were going to the school! Baruch haShem!

The requirements for "ground school" in Sweden:

• Nine years of education (instead of 12, as in the States)
• 185 days per year/4 hours per day minimum
• 2/3 of classes MUST be held indoors
  
• Six categories of subjects:
  • Basic skills (English, Swedish, Maths)
  • Practical/aesthetic skills (Home Ec, Crafts, Economy)
  • Social Science (History, Geography, Civics)
  • Natural Science (Biology, Physics)
  • Second Language (French, German or Spanish)
  • Elective. (Art, Music, etc.)

I broke it down to this:                                                                                                                                                          

	Monday	Tuesday	We'n'sday	Thursday	Friday
9:00-9:25	Bible	Bible	Bible	Bible	Bible
9:25-9:50	Geography	Geography	Geography	Civics	Civics
9:50-10:15	Arithmetic	Arithmetic	Arithmetic	Arithmetic	Arithmetic
10:15-10:30	Break	Break	Break	Break	Break
10:30-11:00	Reading	Reading	Reading	Reading	Reading
11:00-11:25	Spelling	Science	Science	Science	Spelling
11:25-11:50	Grammar	Grammar	Grammar	Grammar	Grammar
11:50-12:15	Art/music	Art/music	Handicraft	Handicraft	Handicraft
12:15-13:15	Lunch	Lunch	Lunch	Lunch	Lunch
13:15-13:40	Lang. 2	Lang. 2	Lang. 2	Lang. 2	Lang. 2
13:40-14:05	Civics	History	History	History	Home Economics
14:05-14:30	Gym/health	Gym/health	Gym/health	Gym/health

Explanations:

1. Seatwork time is reduced from 6.5 to 4.5 hours.
   
2. Equal time will be spent on Swedish and English.
   
3. Gym is the last class so it can be done outside. 
4. Handicrafts are useable lifetime skills: sewing, carpentry, etc.
5. Home economics used as part of preparation for Shabbat.
6. Study of local flora is a required part of Science.
7. Bible is increased from one day a week to every day.
8. "Hands-on" classes are alternated with "cerebral" ones.
9. We're using Ambleside's Art and Composer studies.
10. Classes are shorter and cover a wider range of subjects.
    

Unfortunately, unschooling is never approved in Sweden; otherwise, that's what we'd be doing. On the other hand, it will take a while to "de-school" the girls and they are more secure with a tentative schedule. It also reassures the BOE that we're doing some kind of organized schooling.

  As a part of our nature studies, the girls and I are gathering photos and information about plants and herbs that grow naturally in our area. Quite frankly, it got big. As a Native American interested in alternative medicine, I knew the uses of some of these plants, but we stumbled onto a wealth of info of which I had no idea! It was going to be just one post, but I've decided to make this an

ongoing thing.

Stinging Nettle (Urtica dioica) -

Stinging Nettles are perennials (they live for several years). They grow in practically any weight of soil, in semi-shade (light woodland) or no shade, but the soil must be moist. They grow best in moist forests and prefer shady disturbed areas where they grow in patches.

Nettles are one of the first plants to appear in the Spring. Each of its leaves are about 10 cm (4 inches) long, roughly heart-shaped and have large teeth around the leaf edge. They also have tiny hollow hairs on the main stem, leaf stems and on veins on both upper and lower sides of the leaves.

When a human brushes by the plant, the tiny hollowhairs break off and release formic acid (the same acid ants have in their saliva glands), which irritates the skin and causes small itchy spots to appear. The degree and length of itchiness varies from person to person. Applying a paste of baking soda made with a little water soothes the sting for most people if applied to the site immediately. Human spit rubbed into the itchy area will help if baking soda is not handy.

Uses.
Only use young leaves and wear stout gloves when harvesting them to prevent being stung. For medicinal purposes, the plant is best harvested in May or June as it is coming into flower and dried for later use.

• Leaves are cooked as a potherb and added to soups.
  
• They can also be dried for winter use (usually as a tea).
  
• Old leaves should not be eaten, as they can irritate the kidneys.
• Extracted chlorophyll is used as a colouring agent in foods and medicines.
  
• Leaf juice can be used as a rennet substitute for cheese making.
  
• Nettle beer is brewed from the young shoots.
  

Medicinal uses.

• Once cooked or dried, nettles are easily digested.
  
• High in minerals (especially iron) and vitamins (especially A and C).
  
• Used in the home as a herbal remedy and nutritious addition to the diet.
  
• Leaf tea traditionally used as a cleansing tonic and blood purifier.
  
• Often used in the treatment of hay fever and arthritis.
  
• An infusion is very valuable in stemming internal bleeding.
  
• Used to treat anaemia, excessive menstruation and haemorrhoids.
• Externally used to treat skin complaints, especially eczema.
• The fresh leaves can be rubbed onto the skin to treat rheumatism.
• An infusion of fresh leaves is healing and soothing as a lotion for burns.
• It is used externally in the treatment of chickenpox and bruises.
• The root has a beneficial effect upon enlarged prostate glands.

Other uses.

• Fibre from the stems is used for making string, cloth, and good quality paper.
  
• Pulp is used in the manufacture of sugar, starch, protein and ethyl alcohol.
  
• An oil obtained from the seeds can be used as lamp oil.
• Leaves are also an excellent addition to the compost heap.
  
• Soaked for 7 - 21 days in water, leaves make a very nutritious liquid feed for plants.
  
• This feed is both insect repellent and a good foliar feed.
  
• The growing plant increases the essential oil content of other nearby plants, making them more resistant to insect pests. Works best with fruit trees.
• Flies are repelled by the plant.
  
• A bunch of freshly cut stems is useful as a repellent in food cupboards.
  
• If plant juice is rubbed into small cracks of leaky wooden tubs, the tub becomes watertight again.
• A hair wash made from infused leaves is used as a tonic and antidandruff treatment.
• A yellow dye is obtained from the root when boiled with alum.
  

I thought of this plant mainly as a pest, deterring the gathering of berries and keeping us from walking freely in the woods. I plant to gather a good deal of it this year and not waste such a precious consumable resource!

Posted in The View From Here

I'm sorry I haven't been online for such a long time. Last Autumn, my MIL died suddenly. She was the only parent DH knew and they were friends as well as family. We were all devastated but DH had an emotional breakdown and was out of work for three whole months. All of our savings were depleted and we lost our Internet until very recently.

However, the Lord used our circumstances for the good; we cannot move back to the States for a while, but He led Gunnar to a job on the west coast, near the rest of his family. We only saw him on the weekends February through April but now instead of a barren apartment we are living in a cozy house; instead of pavement to play on, the kids have a big yard and I have garden beds. Best of all, we are all together and healing; DH found a job with so much less stress. It is a part time job that pays as much as his previous full-time job did, which leaves him lots of opportunities to do the freelance work his creative soul craves.

Thank You, Father for all who commented in the interim. Thank you, everyone; we are back.