As with many other things in my life right now, what I think about education
has changed drastically. I have yet to put it into words. I just know it is
not what I used to think/believe. I have begun to question and examine each
aspect of life. The most mild question in my mind right now is "What is the
point?"  The worst of it is "Why bother?"

From the beginning, homeschooling was not on my agenda. God obviously had
other plans... which have turned out to be completely different from mine.
I was  happy with my life down in Hometown. Had the great husband and 2 kids
(1 girl and 1 boy even!), neat, old house to play with, the flower shop
(work I loved), a place in ministry, enough money, my family and friends
nearby. No, it wasn't perfect, but it was good. I always thought the kids
would go to a private Christian elementary school like I did. I accepted
that school was what kids do. A necessary part of growing up. I never
thought to question it. Other than praying that they weren't bullied too
much (or worse-become bullies) and hoping they would prove to be good
students, I didn't give it a lot of consideration.

Fast forward through the last 5 1/2 years of changes and trials. Suffice it
to say, those things in Hometown are no longer part of my life. (At least on
a regular basis.) I find myself living a life that does not fit who I am
inside. I am a pregnant SAHM attempting to homeschool 2 kids while taking care of a toddler and a house. I am frustrated and disappointed and sad at times. I cannot make myself feel differently, no matter how I try.

I want some kind of life for myself outside of Motherhood. Selfish maybe,
but true. But that is not socially acceptable to admit, is it? I love my
kids. I enjoy them and want the best for them, but I also need something
more. Someday. I hold onto that "Someday" and then realize that I will be 40
by the time this last one is out of toddlerhood . Mostly I am excited about
having a new baby in our family, but also dreading the endless feedings and
dirty diapers and No Sleep. Plus, Miss E will be 2 and that is a whole set of
challenges unto itself.

I feel like I am missing the mothering gene that makes a woman feel like her
children are growing up too fast. I feel like they are living each day, with
every stage and season plenty long and full enough. I don't long for the
days of baby or toddlerhood... I enjoy them being 7 and 9 and almost 2.

 Maybe it is because I have Miss E and the new one to make sure I am fully
aware of the reality of the itty bitty stages. I had to refrain from joining
in on the conversation at the park when some friends were talking about their
kids (only children) growing up too fast.  I *know* that it would be easy to see my child's younger years as going by too fast if I had 1 child.
But, that is not reality for me. I have 3 and 1 on the way. And pregnancy is
not a wonderful experience for me. I felt sick/nauseated almost all day
long for over 4 mos.  I was bedridden for close to 3 months with the Placenta Previa. It is getting harder to cope with so little or no energy this last trimester. But still
the responsibilities are there. The dishes and laundry must be done, the meals prepared.

When we signed on with the state public charter school, I wanted the kids to be on par with what the public schools were doing. I needed that "safety net" if something happened and we had to put them in public school. We met a family just before we moved here that had homeschooled but had to put the kids in school when the mom got really sick. Knowing I had chronic back issues, I figured it would be wise to cover that base. The charter's standards are actually higher than our state's. We'd be covered in case of emergency. They would learn the same kinds of things as other kids and maybe be able to adjust to a classroom without too much struggle. (Nice theory, huh?)

Die-Hard homeschoolers told me things like, "My kids will go to public school over my dead body". Having lived through what we did, I figured that was always a possibility.
One never knows what is coming down the pike.

I think when I first started, I had an "ideal" for homeschooling. Lots of
creative, fun experiences and outings. I tried Unit Studies, but it was
limited. (Lovey was in Kindergarten) It was too much work for not a lot of
impact. Lots of prep work but the actual lesson or activity was over in a
short time. Then it was clean up time and I had to find something to keep
them occupied while I got ready for the next thing. It wasn't so much fun
for me. I liked the creativity and felt like we could take our time on topics, but
it took more energy and organization than I had to sustain it over a long
period of time.

Before Lovey entered 1st grade,  I asked the local homeschool community for
help and ideas, but they basically told me to go to the CHEA convention or
start a Co-Op. (Neither of which I was willing or able to do at the very
beginning)

A friend found the state charter school and we felt like God was leading us in that direction. Everything was provided- curriculum, computer and printer, even the
musical instrument (recorder) and art supplies. This was the only way we
could have afforded it. It was a good starting point. It worked for us for
the first 2 years just fine. As long as it is only one child, and "life"
doesn't throw any curve balls, it is doable. But, it is a lot of work. It
has a very fast pace. Each concept is approached from ever possible angle to
cover each learning style. All of the lesson plans are laid out. It is
almost fool-proof for the parent.

I liked having a supervising  teacher. Or the thought of it, anyway. Our teacher 
is a nice lady, but was not  as helpful or supportive this year as we needed her to be. We fell"behind" in the curriculum, and there was no way to "catch up". Therefore, their grades reflected that... unless I just had marked a bunch of stuff as Done and moved on without covering it, there was no way around it.

I admit I was tempted to "cheat". Who would know that we didn't actually do all of the work? However, that goes completely against my nature. I knew my kids were watching. Do I model dishonesty so that they can "succeed" in school with good grades? (Since it was all based on % of curriculum covered.) No, I couldn't do it. We took the Incompletes.

We could have tried to pick up the pace, but I didn't have it in me. I had
basically given up on catching up. I couldn't make the kids learn any faster.
I didn't even care enough to go any faster. Why put that pressure on
them? For what purpose? To make them hate learning? To keep us all stressed
out or "busy"? So that they have good test scores? For what?

That led to the changes in thinking. Where I used to believe that
educators knew what was best, I no longer believe that. Who sets the
standards? Who says all kids have to learn this or that at 6 or 8 or 10? If
the public schools have standards that they are not able to meet, why should
I adopt those standards? What is STAR testing really about? Does it assess
anything other than a child's ability to take a test?

Since having a conversation with another homeschool mom in the spring, I have polled several adults and come to the same conclusion. Other than the occasional DMV test or Civil Service test (or something for a job), no one takes many tests as
an adult outside of college. Why set them up to "perform" in some arena that
has nothing to do with the rest of their lives? What is the point? Other
than bragging rights or shame, is there anything for the child that comes of
it?

Yes, eventually there are SATs and college entrance exams, but I imagine
that 17 or 18 year olds are more equipped to handle it. It would be appropriate to prepre and study for those exams.

I have been rethinking my position on grades and test scores. I now believe that a test or assessment is only useful in determining what we need to work on or where
to start. A good test score is NOT the goal. Also, what are grades really measuring?

All 3 of my kids learned to walk and talk and go potty in the toilet. I
didn't have to have a license, credential, or curriculum in order to teach
them. I didn't read the instructions to them out of a book, or have a
diagram showing them how to do it. They learned it naturally, on their own
time, with support and modeling from us. They learned it at home and not in
an institution. Why can't we approach almost everything else from this perspective?
If we don't know, there are people who do or ways to learn it. (Computer,
books, apprenticeship, Parks and Rec,community college, on-the-job, etc.)

The home is the natural environment. With the exception of the military,
orphanages, hospitals, and other "institutional" settings, everyone in the
world has a home of some kind. I am now thinking it is more important that
my children know how to function within a home and family than it is to
learn who-knows-what facts or test taking methods at a school. How does an
artificial environment (large group of same-aged people all lined up for
hours every day in a classroom) help my kids prepare for adulthood? How will
this foster creativity or critical thinking? (2 things I do believe to be
important.)

I  came to realize that what we were doing now was not working. I still
don't know what will or how to create the best environment for our family, but I think I am on the right track. We have signed on with a different charter. It is much more flexible and we have CHOICES. I am excited about it.

School starts next week. I cannot help but wonder- What will it
be like this year with MORE responsibility and even less time? All I know is it is a big relief not to have to devote lots of time to filling in endless worksheets or diagraming sentences!

I was surprised at what I really think is important. It isn't much,
actually. I want my kids to be self sufficient (in terms of life skills),
helpful, kind, generous, creative, godly adults. Competitive, but not in a
malicious way. (Or sore losers) Just enough to motivate them to do their
best.

It matters more to me that they have discipline and character rather than
being "book smart". I want to foster common sense and yet leave room for
dreams.I want them to be physically active but not obsessed with sports or
activities.

I used to plan events for a living. I thought that planning outings would be
a no-brainer for me. But it has turned out to be tough. Reality is I am not
well-connected in the community.  We don't have a lot of resources.
(Therefore planning field trips out of town or to events that cost a lot of
$ are out of reach for us.) Add in Miss E, pregnancy, the weather here (hot or cold), and it is beyond me. Which is one of the reasons I am grateful to for our Park Days and the field trips other moms plan.

I don't want to raise them to expect to be entertained all the time.
Imagination and the ability to amuse themselves is important to me. They are not
over-scheduled right now and I don't plan to put them in all kinds of
activities. One or two at a time. I refuse to run all over town everyday and
be a slave to their games/activities on weekends. Saturday is the only day I
have to sleep in. I will not give that up until everyone is sleeping thru
the night.
Balanced lives are what I want for all of us. (Which I guess means exposing
them to a wide variety of things but not all at one time.) I think I lean
more toward being "well-rounded" than focused on 1 ability or interest. Not
that they shouldn't stick with something if they have a natural ability or
talent, but I don't want them to do 1 thing to the exclusion of everything
else.

I want them to be responsible for their own persons- doing chores, cleaning
up, preparing meals, laundry, etc. (Age-appropriate tasks.) Right now, it
seems like it is all on me and I am simply not up to it. M has them help
him outside with yardwork and they help sort laundry and put away their
clean clothes. They set the table, put the silverware away and help with a
few things like dusting and polishing furniture. They help me with Miss E a
lot. Lovey wants to learn to sew. I want to teach her to cook. I just feel
like there is no time with all of this other stuff. (The All Important
Curriculum...) I am not sure what P'Tater needs other than to be able to play
and practice his reading skills.

I think my Philosophy of Education boils down to "Children will learn as
long as one is giving them interesting opportunities, modeling behaviors and
tasks, and supplying a supportive and encouraging environment."  There is a
little more to it with regards to natural talents and a means of earning an
income later on, but for now that should do it.

I think this can certainly happen in a classroom setting, but is not in most
schools. Can our home school supply all of this? I think so.
I think that we could do more (outside stuff) if we lived in a different
house. I would love to have a small garden and some fruit trees. Someplace
where the kids could have a playhouse and someplace to sew or do crafts  and an area to let them display their artwork and experiments. This is
what I want... and yet I feel discouraged because there is no way to have
that right now. So, we make do.

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First, the Good News. I am 19 weeks pregnant with our 4th child. We had an ultrasound on Monday afternoon.  There is only one baby with what appear to be boy parts. Hooray! We were all hoping for a boy. This makes some practical things much easier for our family. (3 girls in one bedroom would be pretty tight.)

The bad news is I have complete Placenta Previa with a very large placenta. I was told it is unlikely to move. I am taking that to be unlikely, but not impossible. We know that God can interevene... just not if He will. It has warmed my heart to hear my kids praying for me and asking God to "move Momma's placenta so she can have a regular birth".

The fact is that I have the most serious kind with some scary possible complications.  After reading up on it on the Internet, I know what to look for/expect. I was told to expect to bleed sometime during the 2nd and/or 3rd trimester(s). The timing and amount is what will determine the treatment.

At this point, it means limiting activities- "house" (ar)rest, no exercise, no marital relations, no travel, etc. I am not used to being limited. This shall be interesting. All of the activities I had planned on participating in have been cancelled or modified. I am dreading this summer when it is 100 plus degrees outside and we are confined to the house.

One day at a time, right? No borrowing trouble.

Current situation: We have a month of school left. It looks like we won't be "catching up". We are so far "behind", it isn't even funny.

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It has been f-o-r-e-v-e-r since I have written and I don't have one good excuse. (Just a few pretty good ones.) Life (AKA fodder for this blog) has been happening in full force, but I have not had the energy or desire to write about it.

Today seemed like a fine time to change that.

Let's see...

M just returned from his 3rd trip to South Africa.  This trip was relatively uneventful compared to the others. It started out kind of tough- we ALL had the stomach flu. The baby woke up the morning he left with it. Because she is a baby and well, babies DO throw up, we didn't suspect that was what was wrong. We were out running errands and she managed to cover me in it. Yuck. Fortunately, I was blissfully unaware that this was only a forshadowing of events to come.

M threw up from LAX to London. He called me to tell me about his FluFest and ask for prayer. He was so weak that he knelt down in the public restroom stall (loo?) in London and rested. Poor guy sounded awful. I prayed with him over the phone. It worked. He felt better by the time the plane boarded for the next leg of his journey. He worked 12 hour days for 2 weeks. He did not get to sightsee or do anything other than work. (Kind of a bummer for him but the extra money was a good thing.)

Lovey woke up with it the next morning. 2 hours later, her brother joined in on the party. What a day. My time came that night. Wow. This could only be described as the WORST bout I have ever had. The only thing I can think of that compares to the misery, was labor with Miss E and the mastitis I had a few months ago. Ugh.

Considering that I do not have any family here, and I was not about to ask any of my friends to come help, I decided to wave the old white flag and head down to my grandma's. We ended up staying there for an entire week. She caught it too. (So sorry, Grammy!) This is what happens when Typhoid Mary and her brood come to call.

On to the more pleasant results of the trip. M brought us back some goodies. Real English toffee.... 2 types. Walker's Shortbread. (Of course we can buy that at  Marshalls or World Market, but Hey! It was imported by my beloved. That makes it extra special.) Assorted South African candy bars. (Including 3 large French Nougat bars. These are kind of like divinity with peanuts and cut up gummy-like fruit snack pieces. They are my new SA favorite.) The recipe for the house lady's Malva Pudding. (Something like a dense, very moist, spongy cake.)

What I really want is a T'Shirt that says "I survived South Africa Tour III". Less fattening than all those sweets. His trips have become the standard comparison for whatever trials come our way. ("At least it wasn't South Africa!")

Lovey stayed at my grandma's for a few extra days. It was the 1st time she has been "alone" there. (Meaning without M and I) She did great. She came home more grown up, somehow. I think it gave her a confidence that she lacked before. She was homesick a bit but she worked through it. I am very proud of her. 

Her brother was a different story altogther. He was a wreck. That surprised me. I thought for sure he was going to bask in all the Momma attention. Nope. He had a fit as we were leaving. He cried and ordered his sister into the van 37 times. ("You get in here RIGHT NOW!") He was a mess. We had meltdown city for a good 30 miles and then he fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. (Still doing that post-sob gasping in his sleep. ) He was lost without Big Sister.  No one to boss him around. He didn't know what to do with himself! I did not expect that at all... Then again, he has never been without her.

I got another case of thrush which makes nursing tortuous. Miss E refuses to take a bottle of any kind, so we have to keep on keeping on. She has little white patches on the inside of her cheeks and I have PAIN.

Miss E is crawling now! She is on the move. No more plopping her down and having her stay put. She is also adding to her vocabulary. She says "Uh-Oh!", Hey, "Nunuh" (When she wants to nurse), Dadda and Momma. She mimicked me saying "Blah, Blah, Blah" the other day. Too fun.

Well, that is the latest. I am sure there is lots more I could report, but I need to get back to business.

Hugs,

A~

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These kids say the funniest things, but still get the point across...

Just a couple of recent examples~

P'Tater's foot "fell asleep". He didn't know how to describe it so he said, "The dots are running around on my foot!"

Sunday he was all excited because they painted with an "ear picker" in Sunday School. (Code name for QTip)

We told him he needed to behave. "I AM being have!" (Rhymes with cave)

Lovey was overjoyed with a new game her Daddy found for them. She said her stomach felt "all frizzy".

She calls the nether regions the "crouch". (My guess is it was what she thought she heard it called after spending her potty-training toddler years being told to "crouch down" to check the area for cleanliness.)

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....Unless something ironic, out of the ordinary, or just plain old weird happens each day. It is typically smallish in nature, nothing catastrophic or earth-shattering, but just enough to be somewhat inconvenient or downright irritating. (Dependant entirely on my mood at the time.)

Someone is always saying something like "I'm so sorry, ma'am, This NEVER happens.", "Gee, it has never worked out (broken, come apart, looked) THIS way... I don't get it.", or my personal favorite: "What the heck?!"

I have learned to shake my head, smile and tell them that it has to be my fault because THIS IS THE WAY MY LIFE IS.

Stick around folks, and you'll witness some crazy stuff. I am not sure if it God's way of teaching me patience, or if He's making sure I still have a sense of humor.  Either way, it is never dull around here.

Today, I was being the good FlyBaby that I am (haha) and shining my kitchen sink. (If you wish to know what I am talking about, see www.flylady.net)  This is a rather lengthy process involving bleach, Comet, and Windex, (not at the same time) and lots of hot water. It does result in a very shiny sink and this is something to smile about.

I filled up one side of the sink with the bleach water and let it soak. Drained it, scrubbed it and shined it all purdy. No problem. I then filled up the other side with extremely hot water and bleach, let it soak and pulled the plug to drain that side... when the plug decided to jump out of my hand and land upside down  right smack in the hole for the drain so that  the raised part that you grab ahold of was pointing down into the drain. The weigh of the water plus the forces of nature (which I don't understand) caused a vacuum in the drain which made the rubber seal hold fast to the metal drain. Uh oh. At least it did not make a big splash, resulting in bleach stains on my black pants. (Yes, that has happened before. It somehow gets past my apron and on to my clothes... Not sure how, but it does. )

My right hand and arm is slightly scalded from the very hot water and I smell like Eau de Clorox. This is not  pleasant. I would've worn a pair of those attractive yellow rubber gloves, but somehow I ended up with 2 left ones, one of which had a hole in the tip of the finger. (Where could the right ones have gone?) I threw them away earlier this week, after scrubbing the shower floor. (I have some gross drain plug photos from that adventure. I'll have M help me download them here later.) 

M and I spent several minutes trying to break the seal using different tools and methods. He was finally able to pry up the seal with a fork, let out the water and save his damsel from her distress. My hero...

I can honestly say that I am not a ditz. The odd occurences in my day are not usually direct consequences of clumsiness or forgetfulness... They just happen.

Inevitably, I will choose the one bag of flour out of 27 on the shelf with the small hole in it, which leaves a Hansel and Gretel type trail in Costco.

If there is an air bubble anywhere in the Icee machine, it will find its way out, urp on me, and spew neon green Icee all over my shirt. (Then the napkin dispenser at Target will be empty and the bathroom will be completely out of paper towels... and the sales associate I talk to is brand new and doesn't know where the extras are, and well, you get the picture...) so I will find myself mopping it up with the last baby wipe in the diaper bag.)

Many times it is not even *my* mess. Last week, I had the privilege of cleaning up approximately 3 cups of coffee grounds and at least a couple of gallons of water off of the counters, drains, and floor of the church kitchen.

I help with the hospitality part of some Network classes at church. (Basically I am in charge of setting up, preparing and serving snacks, dessert, and beverages, and clean up.) Anyhow, the lady who teaches the classes attempted to make coffee in the huge industrial coffee maker. (I, being me, knew better than to try it myself. Most machine-type things don't like me.) Still, somehow, the coffee maker malfunctioned (most likely user-error) and overflowed.

 Have you ever tried to clean up a pond of wet coffee grounds? What a mess.

I think, despite over 60 minutes, the staining of countless dishtowels, lots of trips back and forth to the sink, and the Twister type maneuvering of my body to reach the far corners of the counters under the coffee maker, there must STILL be  coffee grounds lingering somewhere in there. Every time I thought I was done, I would come across another tiny hidden pile that would smear into at least a foot long smudge upon meeting the wet towel.

The associate pastor has recommended that I go to Starbucks and buy one of the travel packs instead of attempting to brew it on campus. He doesn't realize what this might mean.... Who knows what mishap will happen at the local Starbucks?! My guess is that they will run out of something just before I arrive. (It happened to me in Dec.- seriously. They were out of whatever chocolate or mix it takes to make a mocha.)

All I can guarantee is it will be something odd.

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P'Tater, our 5 year old, is still learning his letters and sounds. I have tried Hooked on Phonics, flash cards, Kindergarten reading books and workbooks, and even let him watch way too much Sesame Street. None of these things have really helped with this yet. (I am patiently waiting for it all to "click" in his little brain, as it is foundational and we really cannot move forward until he gets it.)

Lovey came up with something today that seemed to work! She is really handy to have around.  She is so smart and creative, that one.

Here's what happened. This afternoon at lunchtime, while eating their Alphabet soup,(I'm telling youu, I am trying everything!) she started singing a round of the "Name Game". (*I took at guess at this being its formal title and it turns out I was right! Gotta love Google.) 

You know the one where you use your first name and make it into a sing-songy rhyme.... "Hannah, Hannah, Bo-Banna, Banana-Fanna-Fo-Fanna. Fee Fi, Mo-Manna.... Hannah!"

For more info check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Name_Game 

Anyway, Lovey decides to do it with my name, but with a twist. She added each letter of the alphabet to my name (Since it begins with A, it was easy.) and then continued from there... Throught the ENTIRE alphabet. (It would have been annoying had it not been an effective teaching tool for her brother,)

 So it went something like:

For the letter B: "Bandrea, Bandrea, Bo-Bandrea. Banana-fanna....etc." Then on to C and then D and so on. P'Tater joined in and before I knew it, he was singing along to, shouting out the next letter in the alphabet as we came to it. Then, he would listen to her start the song with the correct sound and joined in.

This is homeschooling at its finest.  

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I have learned something new. The hot chocolate sold at gas stations is delicious.

I never knew this. Did you know this? I never knew this.

We met some friends at Denny's a couple of weeks ago. (Love the Kids Eat Free nights!) They mentioned that their computer was acting up, so M offered to take a look at it to see if he could fix it. She and I opted to go Christmas shopping. We left the all 5 kids, including the baby at her house with the guys, while we enjoyed some much needed girl time. Freedom!

She asked if we could go to the grocery store after hitting Marshall's as she had a new recipe for homemade hot chocolate mix that she wanted to try out and she needed to pick up the ingredients. Sure. Let's go.

While in the grocery store, I glanced at the recipe title. It said "Better than Gas Station Hot Chocolate". So, I asked her what was so great about gas station hot chocolate. Her eyes got wide as she looked at me in disbelief. (I felt slightly embarrassed... Was this common knowledge?) "YOU'VE never had hot chocolate from the gas station?" she asked.

"No." I replied.

(By this time I am thinking I must be completely out of touch. Why don't I know about this?) She assured me that it is the best. To prove it, she instructed me to head straight for the AM/PM on the corner. She came out with 2 cups of streaming hot chocolate and watched carefully as I took a sip.

Yes, I have to agree. It was the best hot chocolate I have ever had. It was also the HOTTEST. Good grief. I am surprised it didn't melt the top into a puddle of plastic. So, beware of that. I recommend letting it cool, for say... 20 minutes, before attempting to try it... unless you enjoy a burnt tongue.

We headed back to her house. She made the mix and we had ourselves a tasting. The recipe lied. It was not nearly as good. Not even close.

She also made me a "Snowman", which is a White Hot Chocolate drink. I had never had one of those either.

I tell you what, I got me a Hot Chocolate education... as well as some charred tastebuds and a  headache from all of that sugar.  I didn't know about Hot Chocolate "hangovers" either... 

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10. M's Job:  M  is still employed as a Field Service Tech..  On Dec 15^th, he celebrated his 3rd anniversary with this company. His only major trip this year was to South Africa,  He brought back some fun souvenirs, including South African antacids for  A’s heartburn & some South African candies for us to sample.

9. Our Health:  We have been fairly healthy this year. No major injuries or illnesses. A had a healthy pregnancy…”textbook” as in experiencing every symptom in the book! Elise Marie ( Miss E) was born via C-Section on 9/11.  Recovery was slow, but uneventful.  P'Tater had a case of Fifth Disease in June, & stuck a popcorn kernel in his ear which required removal at the dr.’s office.  (They billed it as “surgery”!) M & A have back pain, but that is nothing new!

8. Our Community & Home: We have officially “settled in”. This means we have figured out where everything is and actually see people we know in the grocery store! It is nice not to be the “newbies” anymore. No major repairs were necessary on our house this year. Hooray!

7. Our Church Family:   This church family is amazingly supportive & generous… After the baby was born, we had meals brought in for 3 weeks! M attended a Men’s Retreat this fall. A facilitated the Tues Night Women’s Bible Study, and is currently on “Maternity Leave” until the spring. The older kids have been having a great in AWANA program. Miss  E was dedicated in Oct.

6. Our Friends:  We have been surrounded on all sides by people who have loved & supported us this year. We are so grateful for all you have done. (From surprise baby showers to encouraging e-mails, we appreciate all of the ways you each have been a blessing.)

5. Home School:  Lovey is a 2nd grader with California Virtual Academy. (CAVA)  We have the hang of it now, as it is our 2^nd year with this charter school.  She is an excellent reader & speller. P’tater is a Kindergartener. Currently, he is learning his letter (sounds) & numbers. We hope that he will be reading sometime soon. Both of them are whizzes on the computer. They love to play on the kids’ sites with really loud, annoying background music & audio effects!

4. Our Extended Family:  The events & circumstances of this year have shown the strength of our love and commitment to one another. 

3. The children:  Lovey is 7, P’Tater is 5, &  Miss E is now 3 months old. They bring so much joy & laughter into our lives… & keep us on our toes.  Those kids say and do the funniest things.  We are all thrilled to have a new baby in our home. She is a doll!

2. Our Marriage: We celebrated our 10th Anniversary in Jan with a beautiful party/vow renewal. We have grown both as individuals & as a couple this year. We are truly “happily married”.

1. Our Heavenly Father: As we celebrate Christmas this year, we are mindful of all of His many blessings… & especially for the Greatest Gift of All-~ Jesus, our Lord and Savior.

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After watching entirely too much TV this month, I found myself thinking more in terms of what I do not want to find under the tree this year.

1) Dirt Devil's Kone

The ad states: "Cordless Hand vac is the new shape of clean".  Ummmm... I don't know. I, for one, don't want some Pylon shaped object displayed on my end table. Not even in some fashionable color like Plum or Champagne. (Ahh... too bad for me. Both of those colors are "Sold Out" according to the Dirt Devil website!) It is a vacuum cleaner, for Pete's sake. It isn't even an appliance, like, say... a toaster... or a coffee maker that has any business sitting out.

Maybe I am wrong. Maybe it is time I get with it. (Whatever "it" is...) Maybe it is time that I proudly display my good old upright Eureka in the corner, hang our jackets on it and call it our  "new shape in clean". It's a vacuum AND a coat rack! Won't our friends be so impressed???

 Part of the description found on a comparison shopping website (pricegrabber) states: "You truly appreciate the finer things in life. You surround yourself with beauty. The refined, sculptural quality of KONE appeals to you as much as the fact that this cordless hand vac will help you keep things in order. The elegant Champagne color option is perfect for your luxurious and sophisticated lifestyle."

Ha. Right. I have no sophisticated lifestyle. I don't think this is going to fake anyone out that I do. I have 3 kids, a dog, and 2 cats... it takes a whole lot more than a hand vac to help me keep things in order. Thanks anyway.

The tv commercial for this product makes me laugh. It is ridiculous. A young boy gets this "brilliant" idea for this thing from a dunce cap?!

This Karim Rashid becomes a famous designer (Never heard of him, but I don't know why I would have- I'm not into that) and has produced this work of art... which is obviously intended to make your average hand vac owner feel like a millionaire. There might be a problem with this. I doubt there are many rich and famous folks with a Kone in their living rooms. "Jewelry by Tiffany, shoes by Prada, Handbag by Kate Spade, and Hand Vac by Dirt Devil." Hmmm... It just doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?!

But kidding aside, it is sad. Really. Why would I want to spend $35 (or more) on some appliance/artwork when I know there are millions of people in this world that don't even have crumbs to vacuum up, let alone a carpet to drop them on? I'd rather send the money to a missionary.

2) Plasma TV

My goodness. My first car was less expensive.

Of course, we only own one TV set anyway. We try to limit our tv watching and have gone so far as to take television "fasts".  We are obviously not their target consumers.   

3) Hearts On Fire Diamonds or other jewelry

I have recently learned that I am not your typical woman when it comes to jewelry. I like jewelry. I wear it every day. (Usually my wedding rings, a watch and a pair of earrings.) It isn't that I am opposed to it. I just would rather have something more practical... like a blender.  Or an electric skillet.

I was at a Cookie Exchange party recently and was shocked to find that many of my friends think appliances make lousy Christmas presents. (They do?!)  They were equally shocked to learn that I like getting household items from my hubby for Christmas.  

 I am not going to defend myself. I am NOT weird.

I have to admit I do find one of the current jewelry commercials kind of romantic. You know, the one in which the husband wakes up in the wee hours of the morning, rolls quietly out of bed as to not disturb his sleeping wife, sneaks downstairs, retrieves the necklace from its hiding place in the grandfather clock, and returns to place the diamond pendant on his wife's collarbone (neck region). She wakes up and discovers it, rewarding him with a "You-shouldn't-have, but-I-am-glad-you" did smile. I suppose it is the *concept* I appreciate. I like surprises.

My husband could get the same effect with a pair of warm, fuzzy socks. All he has to do is sneak out of bed, retrieve the socks from their hiding place in the garage, (Maybe in the Fry Daddy box- I'd never think to look there...) detach the nursing baby from my side, change her diaper, put her back to bed and then slide those puppies on my feet. Now, THAT is romance!

4) Sony PlayStation 3 or Nintendo Wii

The last game system I had was an Atari... of mid-80s vintage... with joysticks and "Pac-Man". Come to think of it, that actually belonged to my brother. Enough said.

5) Food

I have 30 lbs to lose. I need to get serious about this.

After 2 cookie exchanges, several batches of Caramel Corn Chex Mix, (That stuff is evil, it is too yummy. I know. There was no gun to my head. I didn't have to keep stuffing my face.) and other holiday hoopla, I am all sugared out. Really. And it is not even Christmas Day yet. Maybe I can start on my New Year's resolution early. Maybe.

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Let's file this one under "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time"...

A little background~

This morning I woke up with a cold/allergy/mystery illness. Let's just say the cough, (of the cough-gag variety AKA "productive") headache, and sore throat that has lingered for well over a week developed into something more. The kids woke me up at O-Dark-thirty by coming into my room shouting and crying. This woke me up as well as the baby by my side. (Whom I had just gotten back to sleep.) Apparently they were fighting over the middle 2 inches on the couch as one or the other had a body part over the invisible line that bisects the cushion. This led to kicking and arguing which led to the whining and crying. This is not the best way to start the day. It makes for a grumpy Momma.

 I was sick, tired, and the kids were on my last nerve by 9am. I ended up calling M at work, which is something I try hard not to do unless it is that bad. Unfortunately, he was unable to talk to us. It is times like today when I really miss my family. I don't have anyone I can call to relieve me. My friends work or have transportation issues or homeschool too. It wasn't quite life-or-death. (Not quite...)

Anyway, about 3pm I decided we just had to get out of the house or else someone was going to lose her temper or her mind. (I'll give you 3 guesses who that would be.) So, I put the baby in her carseat which pops into the stroller and tell the kids we are going for a walk to the grocery store. I needed to get more Chex cereal for the Carmel Corn Snack Mix I have been making. (Yummy stuff- and Oh so addicting!!) M was almost out of yogurt for his breakfast and I thought it would be good excercise for us. (The store is 1/2 mile away.)

The kids conned me into allowing them to ride their scooters. We set off. The trip there wasn't a big deal. (Other than the baby screaming her head off the whole way. She hates the carseat and apparently not just in the car!) The sidewalk was a little crowded with the highschoolers returning home from the nearby high school, but no biggie.

Once we arrived at the grocery store, the baby decided it was time to up the volume a notch and pitch a full-blown fit. Everyone who passed by gave me a dirty look. Her cries echoed off of the concrete walls outside the store. At this point, we discovered that Lovey's scooter would not fold down!! We both tried for several minutes, but it was jammed.

So... I put both of their scooters & their helmets into a shopping cart. Lovey pushed that cart, I manuevered the stroller with Miss E in my arms, & into the store we went. It was after 3pm and it seemed that most of my fellow Save-Mart shoppers were moms with school aged kids in tow. Ironically, they all seemed to be dressed in some kind of  "scrubs" or medical personnel attire. It looked like each of them was buying the ingredients for dinner. No one was in a good mood... at least not from what I could tell. Unless their faces were made that way. All pinched up. I doubt it though. They all seemed fresh out of grace too.

As my usual luck would have it, I ran into another homeschool mom I know. She was the only one with a calm, serene look to her. Of course, her kids were well-behaved.  We started to chat. For about 36 seconds. That was the older kids cue to run off to explore the bouncy ball rack displayed at the front of the store. Lovey abandonded the shopping cart in the middle of the aisle. This displeased a couple of other shoppers. Great. My efforts to call them back in a calm, pleasant manner yielded no results... Oh Boy.

I managed to get the stroller and cart out of the way (one-armed with a fussy baby in the other). It was right about the time my cell phone rang. M was on the other line. I told him I was currently auditioning for the "Harried Mother in Save-Mart" commercial & I would call him back... Too bad they  weren't looking for that part- I would have won it hands down.

We somehow managed to get the needed items into the cart and made it to the checkout. The line was long. Everyone seemed impatient. The kids started in asking for gum and attempted to dismantle the gum/candy rack. The baby continued to fuss. The "Calgon take me away" slogan ran through my head. Of course, the lady in front of me was talking on her phone as she dug in the bottom of her purse looking for 6 cents. Finally, I just pulled a nickel and penny from my wallet and handed it to the cashier. I was now just as impatient as the rest of the shoppers. She continued her conversation on the cell and handed me a dime. She had a dime the whole time?! This was no time for exact change, lady.

Because I found myself in a weak moment, I allowed the kids to pick out a candy bar. What was I thinking???? Lovey is notorious for her indecisiveness.

The walk home was more of the same. I had the baby in one arm, & one of the two bags of groceries on the other wrist that was trying to push the stroller. (I put one bag in the carseat.) The manufacturers of this stroller claim this model is easily maneuvered with one hand. Not so much. I guess I either a) Got the one "lemon" (Which serves me right for trying to save a few dollars by purchasing the clearanced floor model.) OR b) No one at Graco ever thought to test it with my kind of circumstances. I would be a good one to hire for the "Crash Test Dummy" role for certain products... 

M had just pulled up in front of the house as we turned the corner. Apparently, he could hear the baby's cries from down the street. He came to rescue me. Thank the Lord. My sanity was hanging on by the thinnest thread.

Someone please remind me the next time I have a "good idea" of this nature that it is NOT.

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My older kids are strong-willed. Both of them. One is more so than the other. They display their strong wills in different ways. They are unique in their personalities, temperaments, and areas of giftedness. But they are united in their strong wills. 

Parents with "compliant" kids just don't get it. Sure, they have times when their cherubs have an "off" day. Yes, they have experienced a few tantrums. Of course, these children must be disciplined. No one's child is perfect. At least not all the time.

That said, there is a huge difference in the behaviors and natural dispositions of strong-willed kids and their compliant peers. I resent the comments and unsolicited advice of those (usually) well-meaning folks. No, we are not perfect parents. We are often frustrated and embarrassed. We are doing the best job we know how to do, people.

I have read Dr. Dobson's book cover to cover multiple times. A copy of Cynthia Tobias' "You Can't Make Me" CD is on my list of Top 10 Most listened to... (I think if she ever came down with a case of laryngitis and needed someone to step in during a presentation- I probably could do it. I have the thing practically memorized.) I also own her book The Way they Learn. I love this article/review of her books. The survey is valuable in determining the degree of a strong will.

http://www.applest.com/strongwilled.asp

My grandmother gave me a copy of Lisa Whelchel's Creative Correction for Christmas last year. She has some great ideas.

I do have head knowledge. (Or at the least resources to seek some!) It is the application that trips me up. Many times I get lost in the details when a more "global view" would be appropriate. Where is the balance between holding to a high standard and realizing that something is "good enough" as it is? Does it really matter in the long run? Is this going to build character?

Most of the time I can ask myself the question "Will this make an eternal difference?" and have an answer. Sometimes not. (Because I can overanalyze it to death, coming to some conclusion why it does make a difference.) Sometimes I just don't know.

(***I am not talking about things that are illegal or immoral.)

Be consistent. Be consistent. Be consistent. That is what the "experts" say. I have figured out this is only half the battle. The other half is figuring out what to be consistent with and for how long... What works with one child on any given day or week will not work with the other child. Ever. The method that worked beautifully on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday is ineffective come Friday. It also will not work on Saturday or Sunday...

I have to choose my battles carefully. Somethings are just not worth it. The challenge is to determine the criteria. Is this willful defiance? Does the child need a nap? Is s/he needing attention? Is this MY issue?  After all, strong-willed children are exhausting. Throw in a headache, sleep deprivation, a new baby, etc. and my patience is depleted in record time.

Last night I was blindsided by a reminder of Lovey's strong will. When we dropped her off at church for choir and AWANA, she was fine- in a good mood and ready for fun. Somehow, within the first few minutes of choir, that changed. Her leader told me that she was negative all night... She interrupted the other kids while they were trying to say their verses. Everything she said was negative. Apparently, it just got worse as the evening wore on. What?!

I told her leader we would take care if it. That is unexceptable behavior. Engage in battle.

Granted, she did not have a nap in the afternoon. (Rest time is mandatory in our home, but at 7 1/2, she does not always sleep during rest time.) She claims she was grumpy because she was tired. Ok. But that doesn't excuse the behavior. We had a battle of the wills on the way home and all the way up until bedtime. Thankfully, that was only 30 minutes. Her dad decided she needed to be grounded today. (Grounding them was effective this weekend... but that is a story for another post.) This means Momma and brother are somewhat grounded too since daddy is at work. Not cool. I was NOT looking forward to it.

The whole thing put me in a bad mood. I was so keyed up that I could not sleep last night. I just knew that the morning would bring more conflict...but no. It looks like she really was just tired and grumpy. There has been a cease fire for the day on her end. Go figure.

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Remember "Shaddap Your Face"? The song from the early 80's? Well, I was singing the chorus to Miss E when I couldn't get her to stop crying yesterday ("Whatsa Matta You? Hey! Whatta you tink you do? Hey! You gotta no respect? Hey! Why you looka so sad? Itsa not so bad...Itsa nice-a place, Ah Shaddap you face!") and the kids overheard me and picked up on it. Hey! Mom said Shaddap!!!

Of course, they have memories like steel traps when it comes to this kind of stuff. I heard Lovey singing it a little later on. I explained to them that it is kind of a rude song... (We don't say "Shut Up" in our home.) but the damage had been done. Ok Momma- recite this one..."Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth..." (Ephesians 4:29)  Because if you do, the kids will hear it and repeat it at the most embarrassing moment possible.

I think the best course of action at this point is to let it go... Making a bigger deal of it with these two is just going to make it worse. Ugh. Afterall, I was the one who started it.

When M and I tried to explain the Italian accent thing- my dad is 100% Italian- and he doesn't talk like that, they didn't get it... All they cared about was Mom said Shaddap!!! Ugh.

So, I spent my free time this morning looking up all of the lyrics and reading a bunch of trivia on the song and its writer. There went 45 minutes... And I can't get the song out of my head. Lovely.  

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Our kids have great imaginations. Sometimes they amaze me (and amuse me) with their creativity.

This morning, they have put together a "car" in the living room to drive to Hawaii. (I guess it might be time for a geography lesson on where exactly Hawaii is located!) They have packed up their bags and are moving... ("We'll come visit you, Mom.")

Too funny.

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This is a true story. Names and other identifying information has been changed to protect the innocent and the absentminded.

My phone rings on a Sunday morning. On the other end is my friend S. She has a dilemma and is hoping I can help her out. She is a professional baker. She has a cake to deliver for a local florist. (Local for her- in a city near my hometown) She has accidently left the order, with the address and phone #, and directions at the bakery, which is about 15 or so miles away. She is on another delivery and does not have time to make the trip back to the bakery to retrieve it.  Did I happen to know the florist's last name? No... but I figure I might be able to find it. (A good friend of mine has become quite adept at obtaining information and has passed along a few tricks.) It's worth a shot. In this day and age, it doesn't matter that I am 250 miles away and have only a first name. I am armed with a computer and I know how to use it!

The first thing I do is check an ad for the flower shop in an old local wedding publication. Nope. No last name.But... it does have her first name listed and I learn it has an unusual spelling. (I'll call her Florra.) Ok. Let's try the Internet.

I  Google the flower shop and city. Nothing but the standard wire service listings. Hmmm...

Next, I try her first name and the flower shop name. BINGO! I find her last name (Let's pretend it is Bunda) in a listing on the local Chamber of Commerce's website.

I then enter her full name into a free public information search engine. It gives me an address and phone #. I give the address to S and she says it didn't sound right. She did remember part of the directions- the street she was looking for was off of a main road (We'll call it Oak) and close to Cedar Ave. I use MapQuest to map out the address, but it is no where near Oak. I tell her to try calling the phone # anyway. Maybe Florra has recently moved and has transferred the #..

 We hang up. She is going to try the phone # and I will keep looking. Just seconds after putting the phone down on its cradle, I find another name at the same address. I call her back. Was the phone # the right one? No. It had been disconnected and was no longer in service. Bummer. But, I'm not giving up that easily.

Ok. Let's try again. Let's go with this other person I have come across. Does Florra have a daughter named Jasmine? S doesn't think so... I keep looking down the list of Bunda's in town, looking for Florra's husband. (There are a lot of Bunda's in the area.) After several tries, I come across a man's name (We'll say Cal) with 2 listings. (The old address and a new address but no phone #) "Is his name Cal?" I ask. "Yes! That's it!!" S exclaims. I map out the new address. Sure enough, it is off of Oak and parallel to Cedar. I give her directions. She is amazed that I  found all that information on the Internet in under 10 minutes! She thinks I may have a new calling.

(Momma Spy/ Internet Private Eye? "I'll find 'em in 20 minutes or your money back...")

She owes me one.

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The kids will be participating in "Bible Character Night" during AWANA this Wed. night and I am pleased to report that their costumes are ready to go. They have been completed or acquired! Lovey will debute as an angel. (Complete costume purchased at Joann Fabrics at 50% off.) P'Tater's "Jonah" ensemble is a One of a Kind designed and made with love by Momma. I finished it on Sunday night. A full 3 days early. Go me. 

Last year, they wore dress up clothes and we pulled it together the day of. Since we donated all of their dress up clothes/costumes at the end of the summer in our massive Fling-a-thon, I knew we needed a plan this year. I was determined NOT to wait until the last minute and scramble to pull it all together because that is just a headache waiting to happen.

Ya know, I used to thrive on the adrenalin rush that came from working down to the wire. This came from working in the wedding industry for over a decade. (Weddings are the ultimate time sensitive events. Flowers, cakes, etc. cannot be done too far ahead of time.)

I worked extremely well under pressure. I was an expert in Parkinson's Law: "Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion."

 This girl could "pull it off" with mere seconds to spare and not break a sweat.

I aimed to be SuperWoman. I was capable... and very busy. I juggled a husband, two babies, a business, a home, and ministry. If a full calendar made one a success, I had arrived.

Now?

Not so much...

These days, I avoid high pressure/stressful situations. I don't have a bunch of projects going at all times. My calendar has lots of blank squares. We take our time. Being in a hurry makes me c-r-a-n-k-y. I don't handle pressure so well anymore.  

What happened to me?

Well, I attribute most of the changes to my current roles and circumstances. I rarely have "major" deadlines. Almost any task in my life can be done within any given day or week. The laundry isn't going anywhere. Nobody's life or reputation is at stake if breakfast is an hour early or late. We can have a spelling test at 10am or 4pm...Who cares? So the morning routine starts at noon...Big Deal... You get the picture. I somehow misplaced that SuperWoman costume.

I am also getting older. My body rebells when I have too much stress in my life.  I can no longer pull an all-nighter. My "full plate" days are over... at least for now. My life is pretty simple and uncomplicated. It is really quite boring, actually.

I guess my kids have a lot to do with it too.  It is my desire to train my children to manage their time efficiently and to be functionally organized. I know that they may have a natural tendency toward tardiness, messiness, or procrastination, but at least I will do my best to teach them by example. (It is likely that Lovey inherited the clutter bug gene from both M and I.) My mother was always prompt, she was born organized and managed her time well. It takes some effort for me to do what came naturally to her... but it can be done! My house is not Better Homes and Gardens ready nor do I iron my husband's work shirts. It is what it is and that is good enough.

I don't want my kids to think it is "normal" to be stressed out, chronically late, or disorganized. Their childhoods have not been filled with lots of activities, sports, or other "extras". I know that is the "norm" in our society, but we have opted out of it. They have one extracurricular activity, such as AWANA, at a time and that is it. We go to the park about once a week to play with other homeschool kids. That's enough for us.

Some might think that we are depriving our kids of great opportunities or not fostering their potential... maybe so, but probably not.  All I know is keeping life low-key keeps Momma sane. I refuse to be driving around in the van all day long, transporting kids from one activity to the next. Weekends are not taken up with multiple soccer games, dance recitals, or whatnot. I have lots of friends who are happy to keep this type of schedule.  It is not for me. I get to sleep in on Saturday mornings. Their Daddy makes them a special breakfast and they cuddle up with him on the couch to watch cartoons. It's a good thing.

So, I guess the costumes were ready days in advance simply because they were a priority. They could be since I don't have a lot of other things competing for my time and energy. I like it that way.

There is no SuperWoman cape in my wardrobe. Just an apron. Haha.

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Here she is at 1 month old!  Don't ya just love the cheeks?

10/12~ The baby slept 7 (!!) hours last night!  We can call that "sleeping through the night"... right?! I think it was in celebration of her turning 1 month old yesterday. Of course, I am not holding my breath that this will become a habit yet. Tonight could be a repeat of the other nights this week. LOL

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Our Sweet Baby has arrived...

Miss E was born on Sept. 11 at 8:30pm via C-Section. I was in prelabor for days... (Technically weeks!) Hard labor "officially" lasted 22 hours, I dilated all the way to 9cm and then she backed out of the pelvis, turned "sunny-side" up and would not re-engage... no matter what we tried. (Boy, did we try!) So, after all of that, we still ended up in the Surgical Suite.

No VBAC. No gentle, natural birth. No peak experience. Instead I endured a long, hard labor (with no drugs or sleep!) that resulted in exactly what I was trying to avoid. We did everything we knew to set us up for success, but it just did not happen despite our best efforts. I am still trying to process it emotionally, this was something I wanted so badly.

I will leave the details for another post when I am ready to write about it.  The experience was such a disappointment (Understatement of the year) and pretty much a nightmare and I am too angry to go there today.  Suffice it to say that the hospital will be getting a doozy of a complaint letter! (I discharged myself at 1:30am AMA... Against Medical Advice... a mere 29 hours after surgery with the help of one of my best friends.)

But enough about that lest I get depressed and "take to my bed" with a piece of chocolate pie. (Said in my best imitation of a Southern accent.) One of my secret quirks- I love Paula Deen's voice. Everything is so much more dramatic and effective with that drawl, Y'All!

She was 9lbs. 7 1/2 oz and 21" long. My biggest baby by far... She was almost a pound and a half heavier than Lovey and a pound (minus 1/2 oz) more than P'Tater. No wonder I was so huge that last month! (Ending fundal height measurement- 53cm! That was one big belly.)

Miss E is 5 weeks old today. I can hardly believe it. This time, the days and weeks have gone by quickly.  With the others, I always claimed that 24 hours is a LONG time when one is awake for most of them!! The days pass more quickly when we are not as sleep deprived.

This baby is proving to be a good sleeper. (Thank. You. Lord. Said with the upmost respect and praise.) She has her times when she wants to marathon nurse all night long, but for the most part, she has been snoozing for 3-5 hours at night. She gave US a present by sleeping  for 7 hours on her 1 month birthday. She also smiled "intentionally" for the first time that morning for her Daddy. Too cute.

She is also a champion nurser. No question about it. She weighed 10lbs 8oz at 4weeks. She has almost outgrown the 0-3mos clothing. One of the best benefits of full-time nursing is I am losing weight! Both of us are needing new clothes. I am actually 6lbs lighter than I was when I got pregnant. For someone like me who finds it nearly impossible to lose weight, this is a big hairy deal!

We have actually been doing better than expected with school. (Code for we are not nearly as far behind as I thought we would be...) The older kids are settling into somewhat of a routine, so it is getting easier to handle all 3 of them.  Speaking of the kiddos... they are beckoning.

It is feeding time at our Wildlife Preserve. The monkeys are hungry.

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Lovey learned to ride a bike w/o training wheels today!
This is something we have been working on for a couple of years, and she
just wasn't willing to give up the training wheels, so we didn't push it.  (This fell under"choose your battles".) We figured she would decide to do it in her own time, and she certainly did.
She borrowed a homeschool friend's son's small bike and taught herself in all of about
15 minutes. Easy!

When Daddy got home, she asked him to take off her training wheels and off she went. She rides like a champ now. It's amazing what Strong-Willed kids can do when they make up their minds to tackle something.

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