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After watching entirely too much TV this month, I found myself thinking more in terms of what I do not want to find under the tree this year. 1) Dirt Devil's Kone The ad states: "Cordless Hand vac is the new shape of clean". Ummmm... I don't know. I, for one, don't want some Pylon shaped object displayed on my end table. Not even in some fashionable color like Plum or Champagne. (Ahh... too bad for me. Both of those colors are "Sold Out" according to the Dirt Devil website!) It is a vacuum cleaner, for Pete's sake. It isn't even an appliance, like, say... a toaster... or a coffee maker that has any business sitting out. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe it is time I get with it. (Whatever "it" is...) Maybe it is time that I proudly display my good old upright Eureka in the corner, hang our jackets on it and call it our "new shape in clean". It's a vacuum AND a coat rack! Won't our friends be so impressed??? Part of the description found on a comparison shopping website (pricegrabber) states: "You truly appreciate the finer things in life. You surround yourself with beauty. The refined, sculptural quality of KONE appeals to you as much as the fact that this cordless hand vac will help you keep things in order. The elegant Champagne color option is perfect for your luxurious and sophisticated lifestyle." Ha. Right. I have no sophisticated lifestyle. I don't think this is going to fake anyone out that I do. I have 3 kids, a dog, and 2 cats... it takes a whole lot more than a hand vac to help me keep things in order. Thanks anyway. The tv commercial for this product makes me laugh. It is ridiculous. A young boy gets this "brilliant" idea for this thing from a dunce cap?! This Karim Rashid becomes a famous designer (Never heard of him, but I don't know why I would have- I'm not into that) and has produced this work of art... which is obviously intended to make your average hand vac owner feel like a millionaire. There might be a problem with this. I doubt there are many rich and famous folks with a Kone in their living rooms. "Jewelry by Tiffany, shoes by Prada, Handbag by Kate Spade, and Hand Vac by Dirt Devil." Hmmm... It just doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?! But kidding aside, it is sad. Really. Why would I want to spend $35 (or more) on some appliance/artwork when I know there are millions of people in this world that don't even have crumbs to vacuum up, let alone a carpet to drop them on? I'd rather send the money to a missionary. 2) Plasma TV My goodness. My first car was less expensive. Of course, we only own one TV set anyway. We try to limit our tv watching and have gone so far as to take television "fasts". We are obviously not their target consumers. 3) Hearts On Fire Diamonds or other jewelry I have recently learned that I am not your typical woman when it comes to jewelry. I like jewelry. I wear it every day. (Usually my wedding rings, a watch and a pair of earrings.) It isn't that I am opposed to it. I just would rather have something more practical... like a blender. Or an electric skillet. I was at a Cookie Exchange party recently and was shocked to find that many of my friends think appliances make lousy Christmas presents. (They do?!) They were equally shocked to learn that I like getting household items from my hubby for Christmas. I am not going to defend myself. I am NOT weird. I have to admit I do find one of the current jewelry commercials kind of romantic. You know, the one in which the husband wakes up in the wee hours of the morning, rolls quietly out of bed as to not disturb his sleeping wife, sneaks downstairs, retrieves the necklace from its hiding place in the grandfather clock, and returns to place the diamond pendant on his wife's collarbone (neck region). She wakes up and discovers it, rewarding him with a "You-shouldn't-have, but-I-am-glad-you" did smile. I suppose it is the *concept* I appreciate. I like surprises. My husband could get the same effect with a pair of warm, fuzzy socks. All he has to do is sneak out of bed, retrieve the socks from their hiding place in the garage, (Maybe in the Fry Daddy box- I'd never think to look there...) detach the nursing baby from my side, change her diaper, put her back to bed and then slide those puppies on my feet. Now, THAT is romance!
4) Sony PlayStation 3 or Nintendo Wii The last game system I had was an Atari... of mid-80s vintage... with joysticks and "Pac-Man". Come to think of it, that actually belonged to my brother. Enough said.
5) Food I have 30 lbs to lose. I need to get serious about this. After 2 cookie exchanges, several batches of Caramel Corn Chex Mix, (That stuff is evil, it is too yummy. I know. There was no gun to my head. I didn't have to keep stuffing my face.) and other holiday hoopla, I am all sugared out. Really. And it is not even Christmas Day yet. Maybe I can start on my New Year's resolution early. Maybe.
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