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....Unless something ironic, out of the ordinary, or just plain old weird happens each day. It is typically smallish in nature, nothing catastrophic or earth-shattering, but just enough to be somewhat inconvenient or downright irritating. (Dependant entirely on my mood at the time.) Someone is always saying something like "I'm so sorry, ma'am, This NEVER happens.", "Gee, it has never worked out (broken, come apart, looked) THIS way... I don't get it.", or my personal favorite: "What the heck?!" I have learned to shake my head, smile and tell them that it has to be my fault because THIS IS THE WAY MY LIFE IS. Stick around folks, and you'll witness some crazy stuff. I am not sure if it God's way of teaching me patience, or if He's making sure I still have a sense of humor. Either way, it is never dull around here. Today, I was being the good FlyBaby that I am (haha) and shining my kitchen sink. (If you wish to know what I am talking about, see www.flylady.net) This is a rather lengthy process involving bleach, Comet, and Windex, (not at the same time) and lots of hot water. It does result in a very shiny sink and this is something to smile about. I filled up one side of the sink with the bleach water and let it soak. Drained it, scrubbed it and shined it all purdy. No problem. I then filled up the other side with extremely hot water and bleach, let it soak and pulled the plug to drain that side... when the plug decided to jump out of my hand and land upside down right smack in the hole for the drain so that the raised part that you grab ahold of was pointing down into the drain. The weigh of the water plus the forces of nature (which I don't understand) caused a vacuum in the drain which made the rubber seal hold fast to the metal drain. Uh oh. At least it did not make a big splash, resulting in bleach stains on my black pants. (Yes, that has happened before. It somehow gets past my apron and on to my clothes... Not sure how, but it does. ) My right hand and arm is slightly scalded from the very hot water and I smell like Eau de Clorox. This is not pleasant. I would've worn a pair of those attractive yellow rubber gloves, but somehow I ended up with 2 left ones, one of which had a hole in the tip of the finger. (Where could the right ones have gone?) I threw them away earlier this week, after scrubbing the shower floor. (I have some gross drain plug photos from that adventure. I'll have M help me download them here later.) M and I spent several minutes trying to break the seal using different tools and methods. He was finally able to pry up the seal with a fork, let out the water and save his damsel from her distress. My hero... I can honestly say that I am not a ditz. The odd occurences in my day are not usually direct consequences of clumsiness or forgetfulness... They just happen. Inevitably, I will choose the one bag of flour out of 27 on the shelf with the small hole in it, which leaves a Hansel and Gretel type trail in Costco. If there is an air bubble anywhere in the Icee machine, it will find its way out, urp on me, and spew neon green Icee all over my shirt. (Then the napkin dispenser at Target will be empty and the bathroom will be completely out of paper towels... and the sales associate I talk to is brand new and doesn't know where the extras are, and well, you get the picture...) so I will find myself mopping it up with the last baby wipe in the diaper bag.) Many times it is not even *my* mess. Last week, I had the privilege of cleaning up approximately 3 cups of coffee grounds and at least a couple of gallons of water off of the counters, drains, and floor of the church kitchen. I help with the hospitality part of some Network classes at church. (Basically I am in charge of setting up, preparing and serving snacks, dessert, and beverages, and clean up.) Anyhow, the lady who teaches the classes attempted to make coffee in the huge industrial coffee maker. (I, being me, knew better than to try it myself. Most machine-type things don't like me.) Still, somehow, the coffee maker malfunctioned (most likely user-error) and overflowed. Have you ever tried to clean up a pond of wet coffee grounds? What a mess. I think, despite over 60 minutes, the staining of countless dishtowels, lots of trips back and forth to the sink, and the Twister type maneuvering of my body to reach the far corners of the counters under the coffee maker, there must STILL be coffee grounds lingering somewhere in there. Every time I thought I was done, I would come across another tiny hidden pile that would smear into at least a foot long smudge upon meeting the wet towel. The associate pastor has recommended that I go to Starbucks and buy one of the travel packs instead of attempting to brew it on campus. He doesn't realize what this might mean.... Who knows what mishap will happen at the local Starbucks?! My guess is that they will run out of something just before I arrive. (It happened to me in Dec.- seriously. They were out of whatever chocolate or mix it takes to make a mocha.) All I can guarantee is it will be something odd.
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