Jul. 2, 2008 - I've been very quiet round here

Jul. 2, 2008 - Realising what housework really does happen

Jun. 30, 2008 - What a laugh

Jun. 26, 2008 - New Chore System – Being Responsible

Over the last few months I have changed our chore system.  Over the years we have had many different systems to encourage the children with their household chores.  As the children grow in responsibility our systems have changed to suit.

We have three set times for household chores – after breakfast, after lunch and at 5.00pm.  The evening dishes are done together.  Cleaning the bathroom (handbasin) and kitchen dishes were some of the first jobs my children learnt.  As more children become able other daily chores have been added to the roster.  We now have 4 children and 4 main areas of responsibility.

Kitchen

Bathroom, Rubbish

Laundry

Outside / Helper

The biggest change I have made recently has been to make one child responsible for their area for the whole day, for the entire week.  Today I have added one extra chore per day, still within that area.  This will give them the opportunity to see those deeper cleaning jobs that have to get done somewhere.

Kitchen – dishes, wipe benches etc, and then over the course of the week they will wipe the stove, polish the sink (x2), wipe cupboard doors, clean the dishwasher and tidy a cupboard or drawer.  The person on Kitchen duty will also help out with cooking the evening meal when that is appropriate.

Bathroom, Rubbish – Daily will empty and burn rubbish bins, clean the bathroom and lock up chickens.  Over the course of the week they will change towels, clean the shower, mirror and bathroom walls as well as tidy a cupboard or drawer.

Laundry – Daily will sort, wash, hang, and put away any laundry that needs doing.  Over the course of the week they will do a little ironing, clean the laundry sink, wipe down the cupboard doors and look for cobwebs on the ceiling. 

Outside & Helper – Daily will water pot plants, tidy the veranda, blitz the house after lunch, sweep the family room floor, clean up afternoon tea dishes and set the dinner table. During the course of the week they will sweep the verandas, a little bit each day.

It has been great to see how much actually does get done with short, regular effort throughout the day.

One of the key benefits of having one child responsible for an area for the whole week is that they learn what is necessary and start to take initiative.  Many of the chores aren’t necessarily time sensitive and can be done whenever they have the time – therefore giving themselves more free time later in the day.  It is my responsibility not to keep giving chores to those children who seem to have free time on their hands.  I need to recongise that the only reason they have free time is that they have worked hard for it!

Jun. 25, 2008 - Physical Health

Yesterday I was sharing with a friend who is back in town for a few weeks that last week I had some back pain which I put down to the fact that I wasn’t drinking enough water.  Her comment was “haven’t we been here before!”  We all need friends to help us with different areas of our life – I need help to remember to drink water!

This morning I was reading Crystal’s blog, Biblical Womanhood  and was encouraged to stay on track with my efforts to try and get healthier.  Similar to Crystal my goals in this area are:

• Eat healthily
• Take vitamins (though I like the idea of getting all my goodness from real food reality is it doesn’t happen these days and if a vitamin helps me stay on top of my game that is what has to happen.)
• Exercise
• Drink water (see, it should be on the top of my list and yet I don’t automatically remember!)
• Get to bed at a decent hour (and take power naps regularly, especially if I have an evening commitment)
• 
  

Finding time to exercise has been one of my challenges of being a stay at home mum.  The best time for me to exercise (due to heat) is first thing in the morning and yet I’d like to be around when my children wake up.  As my children have got older this conflict isn’t so much of a big deal.  My challenge these days is to get out the door – just to put down the to-do list and go and do it!

I have recently bought a mini-trampoline as a cheap and yet good exercise tool.  The benefits of a mini-tramp is that it hurts!  I can feel my muscles working after a 10min session (yes, I am not very fit!) so I guess it is working, whereas walking takes longer.  I prefer to walk as I think the 30-45min of walking is good overall and I enjoy the mental thinking space walking gives me too.  The mini-tramp is a quick alternative for those days that I am just not going to take 30minutes.  10min on the min-tramp is also a quick pick-me-up during the day.  The other benefit is that I can bring the mini-tramp inside to the airconditioner if I miss the cool of the day.

Today we have one of Nomi’s friends staying the night and she needs to catch the school bus.  She needs to be at the end of our road at 7.20am!!  So it will be the mini-tramp for me today!

Jun. 25, 2008 - Homemaking

My heart is stirring at the moment to be more intentional on the home front.

* to guard the atmosphere of peace and order

* to be more diligent with budgeting issues

* to get back to more home-cooked foods

* table manners – which means more meals at the table!

After reading some archive issues of Everyday Homemaking

newsletter I have set myself some specific goals re money.

1.  Plan all meals and snacks.  I had been toying with the idea of planning lunches too (at the moment the kids find whatever is in the cupboard) so I’ll start doing that.

2.  Get back to weekly shopping trip (with one extra day for fresh fruit and veg)

3.  Allow time in my schedule to shop at the cheaper, and consequently busier shop

4.  Record my expenditure as soon as I come home.

Jun. 23, 2008 - Bootcamp for the Sluggard - what is this?

Here are my notes so far on my current bootcamp - intensive, intentional training - on diligence / responsibilitity issues.

Here are the three direct links

post 1 - overview

post 2 - know your goal

post 3 - finish your work

This is an ongoing training period - no doubt I will post more teaching moments as we work on this.

Jun. 23, 2008 - Learning Happened from 16th June

Peter had Monday at home and was able to spend most of that time with the children working on family projects.

Daniel had a play date with some boys while I talked to his mum at the park. 

The kids have worked on their persuasive speech diligently.  This has been a big project for them in that it is the first time they have been required to write to a formal structure.  I am really pleased with the topics that they have chosen though initially Josh wanted to do “The Sky is Green”.  Where does he come up with these thoughts!!

I started woodworking with Daniel.  We have made our first completed woodwork project – though we did need a little help from Peter!  We made a bench hook – which will help Daniel the next time he is sawing more wood.

We had a big bake day.  I baked lamingtons for my friends birthday morning tea, and the girls cooked double recipes since we are on the morning tea roster on Sunday.  I’d like us to do one more slice but if we don’t store bought chocolate biscuits will have to do.

Nomi resumed her computer lessons with A.BB.  A.BB isn’t teaching as much as she is learning beside Nomi but it is good to have an adult with Nomi.  So it is working well.  They are just learning about the different parts of a computer and what they all do.  Getting a big picture before they start to use a computer.

Jess processed an internet order.   Mmmm   I trust this is a good life skill to have!

Daniel and I have been having good lesson time together.  We have started with our devotional reading and prayer, then read a chapter from the Bible (his request – he wants me to read the whole Bible to him) and then we have worked on telling the time and his reading lessons.  We have been doing this outside on the veranda – the mornings have been lovely.

Nomi prepared the table for a lovely morning tea – she cleaned crockery, set the table, arranged flowers, made sure everything was just right.  She did this all while I was in town.

We are helping a boy with a disability, with a photographic project.  He has photographed and interviewed the staff for one of the farming ventures in town and is making a notice board display including a map, photos, personal info and then a small mini project based on each of the countries they all come from. This will take us about 4 weeks to put together.  Josh is doing so very well in communicating to him, teaching him, keeping him on track and even bringing things back on track if they stray off.  I have been very proud of the way Josh is handling this situation.

Saturday brought cricket for Daniel and Netball for the girls.  The girls comp is a few girls short so Jess has been playing in the 10-11yo and Nomi has been playing in the 12-13yo.  Both of them have been getting two games most Saturdays.  Thanks to our friend LS who taught them so much last year they are thoroughly enjoying the sport.

Jess played the piano and sang backup for a few songs on Sunday.

Pete and I headed off for another date (2 in as many weeks!!).  We had guests arriving for dinner so we asked the children to get the house ready.  What a blessing to be able to have a date, and come home to a very well ordered home, ready for guests to arrive 30minutes later!

Jun. 23, 2008 - Bootcamp for the Sluggard – Finishing the job

I previously wrote about being thorough and knowing the goal for the moment – knowing what needs to be done and keeping our focus on that.  The next thing bootcamp is going to cover is finishing the job.  What constitutes a finished job?

• Everything I was asked to do is done
• I have done my best
• I have put away all my tools
• I report back to mum

It is the reporting back that we will be focusing on now.  I will expect the following words, “Mum, I am finished …….. (insert whatever job was just completed) What would you like me to do now”. (or something similar)  The idea is that the children tell me what they have finished and are available for further instruction. 

Jun. 23, 2008 - Patience

When I feel annoyed

I need to stop and think Patience

Recognise the difficult situation

Consider my priority

Decide to change myself

Jun. 20, 2008 - My Office – A place for everything and everything in its place

My office is my main organisation goal for this year – to bring it under control.  I am about ½ way there so that is encouraging.  But I am sure you are familiar with the feeling of getting half way through a large project and then becoming as stumped and overwhelmed as you were at the beginning – it is a very immobilising feeling.

That is where I am at today.  I’ve made progress but I’m not going anywhere now.

So I have stopped and given it some thought and have written myself some framework ideas:

Have a system

~ simple enough to use

~ use it every day!

I have come to the conclusion, after years of trying to deal with clutter, is that the first step must be to make homes for the things you want to keep.  Everything needs to have its place.    I have spent many years sorting stuff into three piles – toss, keep, giveaway.  The keep pile then stays there, as a pile, and it grows and grows, and I start the process again – toss, keep, giveaway.  If I had a home to put the stuff then I would be able to deal with it then and there.

This means dealing with bookcases, cupboards, filing cabinets first, not last.

So this has become my focus in the office – to make a home for the things that I need in the office.

Paper – a filing cabinet

Finances – files for invoices to pay, received, and Statement

Digital information – computer filing system needs fine tuning

Books – I need to have our homeschool resources in one spot

Daily paperwork – to do files, in tray, to do list

Jun. 20, 2008 - Today we had a Tea Party

I had to go into town early to drop Jess off to Mainly Music and buy my friend a present (yes I know I should have been more organized!!) The plan was that I would get back just before our guests arrived!  Therefore it was Nomi’s responsibility to get the table and house ready for guests.  She did a great job.

She set the table, cleaned the china, found flowers for the vase, put out a choice of teas, arranged the lamingtons and found a musical candle to help us sing Happy Birthday!  She did an excellent job.

In honour of one our guests being Canadian  I thought I would bake traditional Aussie Lamingtons.  Things got a bit tricky with the icing so I made a panic call to my MIL – who taught me to make them.  She wasn’t home but I had a quick chat to my SIL who helped me out.  In the end they came together quick and effortlessly and were delicious.  I enjoyed the opportunity to bake something a little extra as I haven’t done that for ages.

We had a wonderful morning – quickly moving into the afternoon!  It was after 2.00 that we had to push them out the door!  We had arranged to go to the airport to say goodbye to another friend. 

We bought back a car full of kids for an impromptu play date late this afternoon (this sentence makes them sound like strays we picked up off the street but they were actually our close friends who were also at the airport.)

Jun. 19, 2008 - Boot camp for the Sluggard - Thoroughness

The Thorough person knows the goal, knows the task that needs to be completed

They plan their tasks, know how they are going to accomplish it

They pay attention to the details (of the goal – not other details)

They will do their best.

They will work until finished.

During chore time today I focused on that first aspect – to know the goal – to know the task that needs to be completed.

Of course, lectures never work, and I believe my little sluggard tunes right out when I get into lecture mode.  So I need to involve her, get her making verbal commitments to what she understands.  So I asked her before she set off for any task – what is the goal here?  She knew very clearly and her response helped her stay focused at that one thing.

Jun. 19, 2008 - Looking at Manners

Last week I had a blast-from-the-past phonecall.  A couple whom I went to Bible College with was traveling around Australia and in town.  We caught up with them on Friday evening for a meal.  There was instant reconnection – we had a great evening.

But…. While we were at the dinner table there were a few, not very many, but a few little things the kids did that pricked my awareness – we need to work on our manners!

On Sunday morning I spoke to the children about dinner conversation and staying at the table till the meal is over, even if you aren’t involved in the conversation.  Manners need to be practiced at home so that when we need “social” manners they come naturally.  Working on table conversation is a bit tricky as we often eat our evening meal without Peter which means conversation centers around the children.  But the benefit of being intentional with this is that we can make the point of having conversation, when he is at the table, that the children need to sit and listen to.  The other aspect of conversation we touched on was silliness – though I like the fun and laughter we have at the meal table I want my children to be able to know when they’ve reached the line, and when they need to stop.  I also want them to be able to have serious conversation with each other. 

On Tuesday afternoon I spent a few hours catching up with another mum and manners was one of the topics we discussed.  One of those consolidating conversations – yes, we need to polish up our manners.  I do have a good book on manners and yet I can’t find it at the moment so yesterday I did some internet surfing to see what I could come up with. 

I printed off the “Tip Cards” (look in the left hand sidebar) and discussed 10 manners we are going to work on over dinner.  It was a lighthearted conversation but well received.  Over our next meal I want to discuss why manners are important.  I liked the quote  from Anna Post's blog,

Emily Post herself said,

"Whenever two people come together and their behavior affects one another,

you have etiquette."

Jun. 18, 2008 - Is our family really that boring?

Jun. 18, 2008 - Updated Categories

Jun. 18, 2008 - Room time – for young and old

I have reinstituted Room time in our house.    Room time is where the children are in their rooms to play for a set period of time. 

The purpose of Room time gives the children opportunity to focus (narrow down their visual, their auditory, their physical boundaries), it gives them time to themselves (deals with emotional overload) and of course, gives me some time without interruptions.

When my older two were younger we had Room time every day, straight after lunch.  This was my craft hour; one hour to rest myself.  Though that wasn’t my goal, it was the spin-off. One of the other benefits was that should someone phone or knock on the door and need time to talk then I could send my children to Room Time knowing that I had one hour of privacy with my friend.

I haven’t been so diligent with Room Time training with my younger two; life has been busier and less routine so the daily habit of practicing Room Time hasn’t been as consistent.  And yet, I know they can do it – I just don’t call them to it.

So the other day when I was trying to tweak my routine again to help me get into the office for an hour most days it dawned on me that I had the tool, right there in my parenting toolbox, I just didn’t use it; Room time! 

Though Nomi can make wise choices, in her room, for one hour, Daniel still struggles to use his time wisely.  So Daniel takes a timer, sets it for 30minutes and he reads for that time, the next 30minutes he plays with toys in his room.  Nomi has the freedom to use her time wisely though I do expect some reading to be done.

We started this training from a very young age – at 6months of age it looked like cot time, that is wake time playing in the cot away from direct contact with mum.  Then at about 3yo it transferred to Room time, though for a shorter period of time gradually lengthening to the one hour.  When in training (10-30min Room Time) we often had two Room Time slots in our day, this of course depended on how long they slept during the day.  By the time they gave up their sleep (between 4 and 6yo) we transferred Room time to the same time of their afternoon nap – after lunch.  Now, with them a bit older they have lunch, finish their lunch-time responsibilities and then have Room time though it can be called at any time of the day that is suitable for your family.

My older two don’t do Room Time as such.  The key to making age appropriate decisions in your house, as children grow older, is to look at the principle and the purpose behind the practice.  The principle behind Room Time is that our children need to learn to occupy themselves and use their time wisely.  The purpose of Room Time is to train to that end.  My older children can make wise choices with their time, and should it be necessary they have the self control not to interrupt me for an hour, therefore they don’t need the physical boundaries of Room Time – they are driven by the boundaries of courtesy, respect and obedience, which of course is our ultimate goal.

Jun. 17, 2008 - Bootcamp for the Sluggard!

Several months ago I had “bootcamp” for obedience training.  I am about to embark on bootcamp yet again.

Previous postings:

Obedience Bootcamp #1  

Obedience Bootcamp #2  

Obedience Bootcamp #3  

Character Notes - Obedience

 
Bootcamp is where I have one child with an issue and I dedicate x-amount of time and energies to training that one area.  As I said, last time we were dealing with obedience, especially in the area of answering back.  Today I start on bootcamp to deal with attitude towards work.

Go to the Ant you sluggard – consider her ways

Expressions of the attitude we are seeing:

• Finds excuses to get out of work
• Procrastinates
• Doesn’t finish chores
• Works slowly
• Excuses, excuses, excuses

Attitude we would like to see:

• willingness to work
• energetic worker – whole heart and body
• shows initiative
• goes the extra mile
• cheerful worker

I am going to use this song as the basis of my heart training.  Songs are a good way to get to the children’s hearts – they sing them throughout the day and yet often don’t stop to listen to the words.  We will be discussing the words, and finding application in our lives.

Go to the Ant

Song by Judy Rogers

(scroll down to #2)

Key lessons I want to discuss:

Responsible

Lazy

Why do parents scold

Refer to the Bible

Ant – works all day, doesn’t need to be told, works hard, doesn’t complain

Sluggard – ignored word, foolish, poverty (doin’ without)

Organization

Thoughtful

Offer to help

Hope someone else will do it

Complain, whine, excuses

Imitate the Ant

Finding time for the training:

The consequence and the framework for training is that I will have this child working by my side for an extra period of time each day.  She will be the one I call on if I need extra work to be done throughout the day.  This training time, Boot Camp, will chew into her free time.  My hope is that we will build our relationship as we work together as well – rather than this being a time of discipline.   This means I will have to have

1. time everyday where I am working on household chores
2. a list of extra chores that we can work on

Today we are going to treat the leather lounges and clean out the fridge.

Articles I have read on Work Ethic / training in the past

Jun. 17, 2008 - We got things done today!

We had very specific goals this morning and it was a good way to start the morning.  I got the laundry started early while Pete tackled office work.  The kids and I worked with the housework till morning tea.  After that, they piled in the car with Pete and headed into town for a rubbish run, lunch in town and to buy a few things to fix their bikes with.  I had a couple of hours to myself – I finished off the housework and did a little bit of reading – two hours don’t last that long! 

Pete planned on fixing bikes, collecting palm fronds and spraying weeds around the veggie patch with the kids in the afternoon so I took the opportunity to be in the office with no interruptions.  Yay!!

I then cooked dinner.  Now this sounds like an everyday occurrence but….thinking about dinner has happened at 5.00pm around here lately.  I am trying to develop a new habit of thinking of dinner after lunch and by 3.00pm at the latest.  So a big tick for me for today!!

Jess had a piano lesson and while Josh mowed the lawn I thought I would wander down to the veggie patch and do some weeding.  But Pete had beat me to it with the spray wand – so it wasn’t worth doing by hand till they all die.  Pete and I planted out some seeds instead.  We have a huge garden this year; we can’t fill it even when we try.  It will be good to have a few empty patches so we can plant a second round in a few weeks’ time.

We sat at the dinner table this evening, quite content with our efforts for today.  We are tired but all is well!

Jun. 15, 2008 - Our Sunday

We started our Sunday with our traditional cooked breakfast out on the veranda.  Pete cooks the bacon, tomato, onion and mushrooms on the BBQ and I cook the eggs and toast inside. 

Jess presented the kids talk at church - where all the kids come to the front of the church and listen to a “sermon for kids”.  She talked about showing kindness – not just saying kind things.  This was her third time and she does very well.  She does all the prep by herself and often ad libs as she goes along making sure the kids are left with a “take home” message. 

Pete and I planned for a “date” this afternoon – though we had to come home from church to have a nap first!  LOL!!  We actually napped for far longer than we intended and didn’t get away till after 3.00pm.  One of the farms in the area has started an outdoor café which we hadn’t been to before so we went there.  It as very nice and it is sure to become a favourite.  We sat out under the trees, on comfortable chairs, clean tables and the food was very nicely served.  Such dates never last long enough – we still had a couple of “items” on our agenda to talk about but what time we did have was lovely! 

But all things must come to an end – we came home to be told that the toilet had flooded the bathroom.  Once we got in the house we actually discovered it to be much worse than that – it had gone through the wall and covered the office floor as well!   So Pete fixed the toilet and I mopped the floor.  A green frog in the cistern was found to be the problem.

Joshua grabbed the opportunity to have a boys video night with his dad so I said we would have a girls movie night too (the younger kids having watched their choice during the afternoon).  So Pete and Josh watched 300 Spartans and the girls and I (with Daniel tolerating to be in our presence!) watched Emma.  I’d love to talk through some of the character issues Emma had with my girls but it is too late and everyone needs to go to bed so that can wait another day.

What a full day!  We won’t be doing lessons in the morning as Pete is going to take the opportunity to do some things with the kids, which is all a good thing since I have not had the time to organize the coming week.  Maybe I can get to that while they are in town.