I have the explorer browser going. Every now and then I hit the wrong key and bing! it pops open a new tab, labelled in large letters: YOU'VE OPENED A NEW TAB! I always read this as if it said it aloud in the same tone Fezzik uses when he says, "You just wiggled your finger! That's wonderful!" I like to think I have bigger accomplishments during the day.
And then Thursday the old printer bit the dust. Devastatingly set to work immediately on replacing it with some fancy contraption with 36 buttons (as compared to 2 on the old one) and the whole thing is intimidating looking. I think he told me the instruction manual (which, in a clever move to sell more printer ink, you have to print out yourself) runs to 286 pages. No chance in this life of me bothering with those instructions. I will just take what my brother calls The Intuitive Approach.
So, DH was trying to Conquer the Learning Curve on this new toy of his by scanning things ranging from dollar bills to postage stamps to a photo of Miss Language she gave him back when she was 4 and looking at them under mega-pixel magnification. But he walked away and left something up. I Xd off (does everyone use that word or just the Bananas? anyhow, I closed) the window that was up for the Big Printer and it indignantly popped up one of these boxes computers do when they feel you do not recognize the seriousness of the work they are trying to do: YOU TRIED TO CLOSE THE PROGRAM. EVENTS HAVE OCCURRED. DO YOU WISH TO VIEW THEM?
Events have occurred, my foot. You're a printer. Just close when I tell you to.
"Events have occured..." I love it. Would that one be in Vizzeni's voice? I am trying to think what the computer might say in Inigo's voice?
I can imagine what *you or I* might say to the *computer* in an Inigo voice: "Allo. My name is Carpe Banana. You lost my file. Prepare to die." (Only I, of course, would not say Carpe Banana, since that is not my name. But you get the picture.)
I am definitely going to have to start imagining my computer giving me messages in movie voices. I'm sure my 17-y/o would be good at this.
Anyway... I've always thought that computers are a lot like husbands & kids: they're hard to figure out, they don't always do what you want, sometimes they lose your stuff, and sometimes you could just about pound them... but you wouldn't want to live without them. (Most of the time.)
Edited by 40winkzzz on Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 3:30 PM
I had to read this out loud to my husband. I TOTALLY get your Fezzik voice...so funny! As if our kids' tones weren't condescending enough, even the electrical equipment has to be patronizing.
I too was struck by the imperious "Events have occurred" ! It is quite obvious you have done wrong and should turn yourself in... into what I'm not sure.
I have been run amuck with the Kittens three little mittens and I am crying Meow. Forgive the muddle Grammy-speak. Events have occurred. I forsee a long future with that phraze sputtering forth from my wrinkled pruny lips. Yawn. Opps, pardon. Read you later.
Love and Thoughts,
Miss Meg
