Nov. 15, 2005 -
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"I know the plans I have you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified."
"Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands."
This has been the hardest week of my life. Tragedy has never his this close to home before. There are moments when I think I feel normal, but then I remember and my heart crashes to the floor once again.
One of my closest friends and his 14 year old brother were in a car accident on Monday. It's been playing through my head over and over. I can see it happening, the cars and the lights. I can almost hear the collision.
The 14 year old was air lifted to a hospital an hour away. He didn't live through the night.
In some ways I keep asking God why, when there were so many people praying for his healing, did He still let him die. I accuse God of being selfish and not keeping His promise to answer us when we call. I tell Him I'm scared of things being out of my control. I tell Him I can't trust Him because no matter what I do or say or ask for, He is still going to do whatever He wants.
But then I remember the day we prayed for another miracle. It was 3 or 4 weeks ago in the boy's home. His parents, my mom and I stood together holding hands, asking God to work in his older brother's life. We asked God to do whatever it took to bring him back to Himself. Maybe I'm trying too hard to figure God out, but I have a feeling this is what it took.
God knew what was going to happen to this boy from the beginning of time. It didn't take him by surprise. God doesn't make mistakes. He knows what He's doing, and it's perfect.
The funeral was last night. I was overcome with so many emotions for my friend and by the hard reality of it all. But most of all I longed for my friend to know the joy that his little brother had in his lifetime. This young man was ready to go to the Lord he served with his life and he had a burden for his big brother to know the God he had grown to love.
It's going to be a hard road, but God is good. I am continually praying for His hand to be upon my friend and his family. I know God is going to use this in big ways in his life.
~*Hannah*~ |
Comments
Dec. 1, 2005 - ((((Hannah))))
Posted by Fimsey
I'm so sorry. I hope you're okay. (((hugs)))
Dec. 5, 2005 - Praying
Posted by Trish
for you dear Hannah, and for your friend and his family. May God use this in a mighty way, and may His peace fill your heart and bring you comfort as only He can.
Love in Christ, Trish
Dec. 11, 2005 - (((Hannah)))
Posted by Kg
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I hear your heart and the confusion in your words, and I do appreciate your raw honesty.
But. I must tell you: God did cause your friend and his brother to be in a horrific car accident. God does not bring death, He is the Giver of Life. Death happens, Hannah because we live in a fallen world, an imperfect world, governed and run by imperfect people who make mistakes or bad choices.
God can USE death to His glory. But He does not bring it.
Yes, of course, He knew your friend would be in this accident, and yes, I agree that you and the others were called to pray for him a few weeks ago - but that wasn't because God was going to kill this young man or even "allow" him to be killed, but simply because God *knew*.
So, why didn't God stop this accident? Because we are in the world, my friend - in the world and in a fleshly body, living an earthly life, from birth till death. And so it is.
