Knights Becoming and a Lady in Waiting

Living the Legacy

Shurleen just left an amazing post about legacies.  If you haven't read it, please go here.  I will warn you, though.  Do not go if you cannot shed a few tears right now.  Wait until you have time to be completely blessed by this post.

This has made me think about my own legacy.  I can't tell my story in the same way Shurleen has.  It's just not that kind of story.  But it is what has made me.

My mother comes from a long line of Assembly of God, down-on-my-knees, quiet-but-secure-in-my-faith, believers.  Her parents were strong believers.  Just before she died, my grandmother mourned that she would no longer be able to pray for each of her grandchildren.  She passed that legacy on to those who were at her bedside.  I mourn, right now, to realize I haven't been nearly as faithful to that calling as she was, but I am resolved to do better.

My father comes from a hard background.  His family of six was torn apart when his mother died following the birth of her youngest daughter.  The oldest children were sent to the State Home.  The youngest was adopted into a new family.  Their father moved away from the state and never returned.

My mother says my father must have come from a long line of praying people, though, because every person in his family turned out pretty good.  No, not all are saved.  There have been rough years.  All but two of the siblings were divorced at least once.  But every member of this family keeps in touch with the rest-- even the baby who was adopted out.  My father, a strong, tough ex-military man, became a Christian when I was nine.

We girls (I have all sisters) were raised in a strict but loving home.  We knew Daddy wasn't saved.  We spent a lot of time praying for the man who was either home watching football or out playing golf on Sundays.  When he was saved, the transformation was obvious.  You would have thought that we would have all learned from this legacy.  But legacies go deeper than the mind, don't they?

My first sister married a man who professed to being a Christian, but drank, partied, and couldn't hold down a job.  He controlled my sister, even though she did the work to provide for the family.  Eventually, through the grace of God and the faithful prayers of my mother, she left him after he was unfaithful.  She raised her sons alone for several years and has finally remarried a man who loves her and treats her with respect.  But the legacy is now there, and I watch her sons grow up with a sense of sadness, hoping they can overcome their past.

My next sister married a non-practicing Catholic.  He is a good man, but their children have been raised in a mix of Catholicism and Christianity that must be confusing for them.  Still, I have hope.  Although there is yelling in their home, there is also love.  I pray for a legacy of my parents to be passed on, as they share a home and have shared lives for a very long time.

My third sister went off to the military and found a husband.  Her chosen spouse was a Mormon.  His family was strong in the Mormon church.  My sister slowly found her way back to God and is, even now, an inspiration to me in her faith.  Even more importantly, her husband has found his way to a saving belief in God.  Their children have a full home of love and faith to grow from.  They are growing a legacy that their children can claim from.

I was the last to get married.  You would think I would have learned, especially as my mother used my shoulder to cry on each time my sisters attached themselves to an ungodly man.

I didn't date until I was older (really, not until I was 18).  Quite the awkward duckling in high school, I was surprised and overjoyed that boys seemed to realize I existed.  I dated a few appropriate (but not God-ordained) choices, then drifted slowly toward those who were not appropriate.  I broke up with my husband-to-be twice because he was not a Christian, but each time I came back.

Even today, I know this is the man God intended for me to marry.  It was my timing that was at fault, not the person.

My husband is not saved.  He is a good man-- a much better person, on his own, than I am without the power of the Holy Spirit to guide me.  But he does not know God.  I feel a quiet sense of despair when I read the blogs of those whose husbands take an active role in the raising of their children in faith, those husbands who take their God-given role as leader with a sense of responsibility.  I don't have that.  This is due to my choices, though, and I accept that my choices have consequences.

How this affects my children, though, grieves me deeply.  They know their Daddy isn't saved.  My oldest son, thank You, God, has come to know his Savior, but I will need much prayer to give a legacy to all my children.  I am in the position of spiritual leader in my home, and I want to pass on to my sons that THEY are to be in that role as they grow.

Mothers, you may read this to your daughters.  Let them know the effects of marrying someone not of their faith.  I will be happy to talk to any of them, to pray with them, to pray FOR them.

Yes, I made choices.  Yes, there are consequences.  But I am now in a position to bless others who have made the same choices-- or to help lead others, currently walking toward this path, toward a better path, a better choice.

I can still leave a legacy.

8 Do not hold against us the sins of the fathers;
       may your mercy come quickly to meet us,
       for we are in desperate need.

Psalm 79:8

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11:53 AM, Apr. 22, 2006 .. Posted by

Now it's my turn to cry. What a lovely legacy your ancestors have given you. It's still yours, you know. The story isn't over yet. God doesn't use perfect people to create wonderful families...He uses *us*. My dad left his faith when I was 3 years old, young enough to not know anything except a dad who didn't live according to God's Word. And things got worse from there. But the end of the story is so beautiful that it was worth the hard walk...he did come back to the Lord.

It sounds like you and your husband have something good. You want more for him, but what you have is good. Stay faithful in praying for him.

Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman. And I felt a sense of great joy when I read about the sister who married the Mormon and what God did for them.

I want to hear "the end" of the story for your family in 20 years.

My mom's story would not have read the way it does today if I had written it 20 years ago.

Stay faithful in hope and prayer, friend.

And thank you for this touching, real post. So many examples, so much hope for how God is going to touch your family. How he *has* touched your family.

-Shurleen





Edited by OreoSouza on Apr. 22, 2006 at 9:54 AM

Untitled Comment

2:40 PM, Apr. 22, 2006 .. Posted by nsremom

Thank you for posting such an intimate, yet necessary post. Little story for ya.

Growing up I just loved my pastor and his wife. I later found out that the wonderful Godly woman had been raised in an abusive home. Her father was an alcoholic (non believer as well). Her mom fled from him and raised her daughters alone. BOTH of her daughters went on to marry pastors. WOW. I just think about that and have to smile. ONE Godly parent directed and nurtured her girls towards righteousness. I don't know the rest of the story...whether the dad ever came to the Lord or not....but I do know that my pastor and his wife went on to have 3 sons. All 3 sons went on to do mission work. The middle son is now a youth pastor and the youngest is a full time missionary. So, be strong friend.

Your 'availability' is all God wants from you! Are you old enough to remember Petra? They're a Christian rock band from my youth and they had a great song called, "I am available". It's awesome. It basically says there's so much we cannot give to Him, and can't do for him. And that there's so much we may never be but there's one thing we can do....BE AVAILABLE. That's what you're doing for Him.

Emily

You too?

9:03 PM, Apr. 22, 2006 .. Posted by Juliestew

My kids wanted more than one but "OH NO!" I wasn't falling for that one. We got ours from school, don't know what sex it is and we're trying to train the thing not to be scared of us. How do you do that???? He's a scaredy cat.

Now, all you need is a snake so you'll have something to do with all those babies!
(giggle, giggle)
JULIE

Thanks!

1:01 AM, Apr. 23, 2006 .. Posted by jaminacema

Thanks for you honesty in posting this. It is important to remind our sons and daughters of the responsibility of choosing a mate. I will pray for you husband to accept Christ. God is good, He can do anything! Just imagine the day you get to blog about that!!!