Knights Becoming and a Lady in Waiting

Not Mine

Once again, OreoSouza has a post that has just floored me.  Her honesty often does this. 

She spoke of how she didn't have it in her to change her son, to love him the way she felt she should have loved him.

I adore my children, but there are days I don't have it in me to love them anymore.  I am poured out and I haven't had a chance to refill.  There is nothing left and I don't even like, let alone love, my kids.  I can't change them.  I can't seem to change me.  I am at a dead-end.

But it's not me, is it?  These kids, really, aren't even mine.  They belong to God and I've only been entrusted with them for a while.  God has trusted me with His children-- to raise them His way.

I can't love them all the time.  I'm human.  I'm not perfect.  I certainly can't change them.  They're not mine!  I can only raise them as God has instructed me, love them with His love, and let Him do the rest. 

O, God, how I thank You that you see something inside of me that You can use to raise four of Your children!  Thank You that I don't have to do it alone, or even with just my husband, but I have the Creator and Master of all-- and all His resources-- at my disposal to use as You see fit.

Thank You.  I'm sorry I haven't been quite as good about raising them Your way.  I'm sorry that I've wanted to raise them MY way quite a few times.  Your instructions are clear enough, if I just listen.

They're not mine, but You have given them to me for a season. 

I choose to love them.  You choose how to change them.

Now, if you'll all excuse me, I have to get back to work.

Girl!!!

7:44 PM, Apr. 28, 2006 .. Posted by Juliestew

Sounds like you need some Tylenol PM. Mt Dew....what WERE you thinking? That stuff sends me through the roof. I had sweet tea for dinner so I'll probably be up til midnight because of that. Hey, I'll share the girls with you (so long as we find another family with a bunch of them). smile
Have a good night. HOpe you sleep.
Julie

Yeah, another mom of boys!

6:08 PM, Apr. 29, 2006 .. Posted by socalval

I homeschool two small boys - love it some days, need prayer the other days. I do have a baby girl coming in August... I just don't know how I'll do that one. I'm so used to superheros and couch jumping! My heart is for homeschooling and don't have plans to change that - I've been doing it for 4 years and love the outcome. God is good and He always gives us strength to tackle the unimaginable, doesn't He?
Valerie
http://homeschoolblogger.com/socalval/
http://firststeptowardshomeschooling.com

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8:28 PM, Apr. 29, 2006 .. Posted by eakrabel

Just wanted to share that I have been reading your blog for about a week now, and I have really enjoyed it. This post especially touched me. I often need to be reminded that these are not really my children, and no matter how much I love them, God will always love them more.

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7:14 AM, Apr. 30, 2006 .. Posted by maureenmichele

Well, at least homeschooling helps with KNOWING your children so you can pray for them! I never knew my children half as well as I do now that they are home! You are blessed. And so wise to know what you can do -- and what God can do.

Thank you!

11:46 PM, Apr. 30, 2006 .. Posted by WaitingontheLord

And Amen!
(And change me while you're at it, too, God!) :>