Knights Becoming and a Lady in Waiting

Anger Anonymous: Step Seven

7.  Humbly ask God to remove my shortcomings.

Okay, part of me has been busy, but part of me just didn't want to do this last bit of yielding control.  You see, I've learned that once I really ask God to do something, especially something that will result in His glory... well, He does it.  The problem is that He doesn't always do it in the way I want!

Oh, alright.  I'm not all that good at humble, either.

Humble.  Not proud.  Willing to serve.  Willing to admit weakness, faults, needs.  Ooh.  Okay, that one gets me.  I can never admit that I need someone else.  I don't know why.  I've just always been self-sufficient.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I know in my head that I need God.  I can't get to Heaven (let alone 5 o'clock) without Him.  But knowing I need Him and forcing myself to admit I need Him... different birds entirely.

Dictionary.com says that humble means: marked by meekness or modesty in behavior, attitude, or spirit; not arrogant or prideful.  Showing deferential or submissive respect.

Meekness- the feeling of patient submissive humbleness  (Patient??  I not only have to admit I have needs, but I have to be patient about it?  Every time God wants to teach me patience, He sends me a crisis!)

Arrogant- having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance.  (Ouch!  Overbearing self-worth-- like I'm worthy to even be alive without Christ.  Self-importance?  Yes.  I do that.  I think that I have some value over and beyond what Christ gives me.  I don't even belong to me.)

Prideful- disdainful or scornful.  (Am I scornful of the great gift you give me, Lord?  Is that where my pride comes from?)

Deferential- showing submission or courteous yielding to the opinons, wishes, or judgement of another.  (Courteous yielding??  So it's not enough to just yield; I have to do it in a courteous manner??  I'm not sure I can get past this step!)

Alright, Lord.  I ask you, submissive to your will-- and not fighting it!-- to take these shortcomings from me.  I am of no value on my own; it's only as Your child that I have worth.  I am currently wasting the gifts You've given me as I spend time in anger, remorse, and recovery.  Lord, I ask you to take this from me if it is to Your glory.  If it's not, I ask You to give me the strength-- the weakness-- to rely on You for my self-control. 

I suspect I'll be reporting a lot of stress in my life in the near future.  God seems to work me through my faults, rather than taking them from me.  Not that I won't take it as an undeserved but entirely welcome gift if He does take this fault and just toss it away; I'm simply not expecting it.

2 Chronicles 7:14
if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.