Knights Becoming and a Lady in Waiting

The Letter

My sons were difficult to get to bed tonight.  They hemmed and hawed.  They fussed and fumed.  They even broke a chair (long story) and cause general mayhem.  But eventually they went to sleep.

By the time they were quiet, I was all in an uproar.  My (not-so) inner growlie monster had come out to play for the night and I was in a fine dither.  I chewed out my hubby.  I debated kicking the cats, but settled for giving them dirty looks.  Basically I huffed around in a major attitude until I headed to bed.

That's when I saw it.  On my husband's nightstand was a little letter Prince Berryboy (1DS7) had written him.  Because he writes in large letters, the first few words caught my attention without any conscious effort on my part to read them.  "Dad, I love you."

Panic hit me.  I had been given a similar letter earlier that night, but in all the rush around to get to bed, I hadn't read it yet.  In fact, I had distractedly put it... somewhere... and told my little prince I would try to look at it later.  I wasn't even sure where it was.

I didn't quite tear the house apart, but I did make a bit of a mess looking for that letter.  By the time I found it, I was crying and just a little shaky.  Triumph was mine, however, as I unfolded the tightly creased piece of paper and read what my sweet son had written.

Mom, I love you.  You make our meals, play with us, teach us, and things like that.  If ALL the moms in the world came and the govoner said "All children, chose one!" I'd chose YOU!  You're a great mom!  I love you lots.  XXXXXXXX

I had done nothing to deserve this letter today.  In fact, I had done an awful lot to NOT deserve it.  When the above-mentioned chair broke (Prince Berryboy was jumping off it when he was supposed to be in bed), PB told me he was sorry.  Instead of gently forgiving him and loving him for being sorry without any threats on my part, I snarled, "If you were sorry, you'd stop breaking things!" and stomped out of the room, leaving him standing, dejected, in the middle of his room.

I don't know why God has blessed me with this son-- or any of my children.  I don't know why I was honored with this letter from a boy who's had a tough time at my hands for the last couple of years, as I seem to expect perfection from him while giving him only my most flawed self.  I only know that I am profoundly humbled and crushed to have received it-- and not deserve it in the least.

I keep saying I can't change, only God can change me.  This is true.  But God will not change me if I make Him the last priority on my list.  God will not change me if the Holy Spirit gives me a gentle nudge and I slam the door to my conscience.  God doesn't force His will on me.  I have to take the step into His presence.  Basically, I have to sign a medical release form before He'll excise all those nasty little bits of my personality that drag me down over and over again.

Does anyone have a pen?

But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find Him if you look for Him with all your heart and with all your soul.

When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the Lord your God and obey Him.

Deuteronomy 4:29-30

 

I love those who love Me, and those who seek Me will find Me.

Proverbs 8:17

 

Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.

You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.

Jeremiah 29:12-13

 

God did this so that men would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us.

Acts 17:27

Untitled Comment

2:09 AM, Nov. 18, 2006 .. Posted by crazybusy

Aw, I think we all have days like that! And it's those little things, like his note, that help us realize what we've got and how precious they are. HUGS!

Untitled Comment

12:21 PM, Nov. 18, 2006 .. Posted by nsremom

Now that's good stuff.

No fluffy blog matter here.

On a sidenote: your little guy is an amazing writer. What a sweet, yet definately clever letter he wrote to you. :)

Untitled Comment

10:46 PM, Nov. 26, 2006 .. Posted by jaminacema

I think you should frame the letter. What an awesome reminder of the unconditional love our children give us.

Jamin

Hello

2:57 PM, Dec. 9, 2006 .. Posted by 3menandalittlelady

Oh, this was so sweet! I have so much trouble raising my three boys. I have many issues with anger, and this post was such a reminder of the soft hearts that our boys have. I worry so much that I will ruin their hearts and pray that God would protect them despite my flaws!! It's been a long time since I have checked out the blogs of those on my friends list. Just stopping by!
Blessings!
Beth