My oldest daughter has abandoned me.
Oh sure, she'll be back.
But the point is that she actually had the audacity to leave in the first place.

Forget that she's almost 19.
Forget that she used her own money for the trip.
Forget that she calls every day.
Just remember that she left me.

She's gone to New York for a week.
The Bronx, no less.

And she's loving the subway.....

So I told her; "You can't stay there!".

"Of course not!", she said.
"I only want to come back once a month and stay for a week."

Pardon me?