This is for your kids.
I'm sure Arby's boys will appreciate them! 
You may want to skip these if you have a Grinch heart.
But as I regress to my 2nd?, 3rd?, 4th? childhood, I have to admit that I was extremely amused.
And still chuckling....

Some have been around forever. Some are new to me,

You could count it as Language Arts. Yeah! That's it!

Thank you toNona for e-mailing me these....

We have been without television for 8 years. No cable (which doesn't exist out here) and no satellite (which does exist) and no regular local reception (which is just an amusing concept).

But stand back when we visit folks who do have tv.

Stopping by mom's, for instance, means that we're hollering "dibs" on the remote before we get there.

Guy likes The History Channel and all things war related or anything educational.
The 11-yr old wants cartoons.
The 18-yr old wants music videos.
The 26-yr old just likes to watch moving pictures.

Me? I only want to watch...

I know Guy understands and I hope Mel will.

But since we can't always visit when the show is on, my 26-yr old has been good at providing me in-home viewing with the purchase of these:

He'll continue to be fed.

My husband will not wear a pink shirt.
He doesn't care if another man wears pink, but he won't.
Not to give the wrong idea here, though, he's definitely not afraid of pink.

As a matter of fact, he sees benefits to pink.

If he's taking his own personal tools to a job, he can recognize them.
They all have a tip of fluorescent pink on them.
And strangely enough, no other man ever tries to take them.

And he's secure enough to wear pink on say, a hat.
Which is what he did almost 14 years ago for our oldest daughter's fifth birthday party.
A Barbie birthday party, no less.I say only a real man can wear a Barbie hat and look this dignified!

(Warning: The link is appropriate for married couples. I'd call it PG-18. )

I am a disgustingly happily married woman.
I say "disgustingly" since most people just get disgusted at how happy we are.
We do have the occassional spat (which, of course, is always his fault) but they are rare.

But I'm always open for improvement.

So when I saw an article called "What Keeps a Man Crazy in Love", I thought I'd check it out.
Better safe than sorry, right?
I mean, he seems really happy.
He says he's really happy.
But I'm always open to learning...

So I start reading...

Play Poker
Hmmmm. Already we have a problem. I'm a better poker player than he is. And I know more types of poker than he does. Ok, skip that and moving on....

Give the Perfect Backrub
Uh-oh. I've tried that and it doesn't work. It would take a jackhammer for him to feel it. I'll have to stick with a back scratch. THAT one I can do.

Tie His Tie for Him
Not looking good here. He doesn't wear a tie. Ever. And if I put one on him, he'd be most unhappy.

Make A Mean Steak
That one's easier. If it's beef, he's happy.

Quote At Least Three Lines from The Godfather
I tried this.
Really.
With my best mafia voice, even.
He looked at me like I was nuts.
I got a better response with,
"This is where we fight. This is where they die..."
in my very best macho, Spartan, voice.
Not a great response mind you, but a better one.

I gave up.

I said; "But I want you to be 'crazy in love' with me."

"I already am", he said.

*swoon*

USMC Pistol and Rifle Expert Qualification Badges

Authorized to US Marine Corps personnel who by personal skill demonstrate an ability and agility to operate USMC firearms under challenging and stressful conditions as measured by simulated combat exercises and testing. These personnel shall be relied upon by their comrades to perform with a high degree of accuracy at considerably distant range under real combat conditions.

My husband has a kajillion of these; both pistol and rifle.
He's an "Expert" shot.
He proved it annually while he was active duty.
And the man can still shoot even now that he's retired.

So I can't help but get tickled when I see this:
I mean, seriously, this is how close he gets:
It must be a "man" thing.... 

Forget "Where's Waldo?".
How about "Where's Guy?"!
Can you see him?

Wherever he flops down, he becomes a beanbag.
Couch, floor, doesn't matter.
He's just comfy.

Well, he may not be comortable.
But if you use him for a beanbag, you'll be comfortable.

Forget Hardy, Dickinson, and the others.
I'm here to fill in your poetic needs!

Homeschooling

The neatest thing about homeschooling is-
you can do whatever works best for your kids.
 
If you like traditional schooling, they can sit at a desk.
Or if you're more a relaxed type, they can bypass a test.
 
The reason it works is simple to see,
you simply gear school to the child's capacity.
 
As they learn, you move on from there.
But if they don't catch it you stay where you are.
 
As the foundation is set, it's strong and it's pure.
The learning will grow and the children are secure.
 
They've got the knowledge, and the tests still prove
that learning is best when it's done out of love.

Flashing back to 2 years ago....

My youngest, the homebody, agreed to go to a basketball camp.
That meant that I got to drive her
an hour each way,
every day,
for a week.

And I was thrilled!

Not because she agreed to try it, though that was great!
Not because she'd learn more about basketball, though that was a bonus.
Not because she'd be "socialized" with a whole lot of kids her own age, though that was, well, never mind...
Not because we had to get up early and get on the road, though that was interesting.
Not because I got to sit on a cement floor for most of a day, though I met some great moms.

I was thrilled because it was a Meadowlark Lemon Basketball Camp.
I remember Meadowlark (can I call him that?) from his Harlem Globetrotter days. I saw them when I was young, and they were amazing!
The man is 76 and he still got game. He was gentle and elegant, even. The man is a legend! Forgive me, but I was all giddy and I just don't do giddy.

And he touched my shoulder. *swoon* 

Arby tagged me with an interesting tag.
jsgay97 has started Messy Mondays.
And luckily for me they tie-in.

I'm calling it "multi-tasking" since the more honest description would be "lazy" and that just doesn't have the same ring to it.

The mess:
I propose starting Messy Mondays where we post pictures of whatever our biggest mess is at the moment. Who wants to join me?

The tag:
What's on your desk?

You can tell a lot about a person by the state of their desk and what they keep on it. So, share what's on your desk. You can take pictures, take an inventory, or do both. Don't have a desk? That's okay, just give us a glimpse into the space where you pay bills, write letters, grade papers, study, or work on the computer.

When you've finished your photos or inventory, post it on your blog and tag five more people to do the same. Don't forget to share the rules with those you tag and ask them to share their posts with you when they are done.

Yesterday, I dropped "My Precious"  so today I had to use the old stand-by camera with no flash. The picture is really bad and I apologize but I didn't want a little thing like a bad picture to prevent me from playing along.

So without further ado, I give you- my mess of the moment and the closest thing I have to a desk:

This is an ongoing mess. I'll clean it up and within days it's a mess again.
This is my forever Messy Mondays.

The far right is my stack of books I'm presently reading. My mood of the moment dictates which book I pick up to continue in.
The basket with a handle holds blank note cards and an ink pad and some stamps.
The basket to the right it has mail that I've organized.
The pile in the center are the new bills and some junk mail that I need to go through and maybe even pay.
The phone is a leash phone (corded) since every storm brings a loss of electricity.
There's also some loose change that one of my kids has apparently straightened out. Probably to count it...

There's a lollipop in the pencil holder that does not belong to me.
Behind the pencil holder is a pile of "gotta have on hand" stuff  like dentist appointments and the veterinarian's business card.
The pile to the left of the pencil holder actually contains folders that are organized for paid bills.
Oh, and on the far right is a candle that I need to toss. Maybe I'll do that today. The trash can is three feet from it.
The frames each have artwork done by friends and family.
Ok, that was just ugly.
So I'm tagging:

I saw this at Huber Hoff Academy and had to try! 

You Are Bare Feet

You are a true free spirit, and you can't be tied down. Even wearing shoes can be a little too constraining for you at times! You are very comfortable in your own skin. You are one of the most real people around. You don't have anything to hide. Open and accepting, you are willing to discuss or entertain almost any topic. You are a very tolerant person. You are accepting and not judgmental. You should live: Somewhere warm You should work: At your own business, where you can set the rules

My husband requested strawberry pancakes.
So while I was getting the batter ready for those, I realized I wasn't in the mood for fruit pancakes.

I was in the mood for the other food group.

I'm all about feeding my family nutritious meals.

So I added these:
CHOCOLATE! The Other Food Group:

And yes, I made him strawberry pancakes.

Right after I snapped a shot of this:

I got tasked to shovel LOTS of this:
 
Into this:
And go forth and spread it....

I thought he was kidding when he said I better not take that picture.

THEN:
She loved to help Daddy clean a turkey...

NOW:
She's about ready to bag her own:


Head over to Kellieann's for more Flashback Fridays!

My husband is a constant source of amusement to me.
Not in a laughing at him kind of way, just a novel way of thinking kind of way.
He's practical and resourceful and well, I'm not so much so.

He usually stays out of the kitchen.
But if it involes cutting up something, he always offers to do it for me.
Isn't that protective of him?
Especially since he's worried I'll hurt myself.
And it's only because of the one time I did....
But anyway....

Night before last, I was going to make seasoned potato wedges with chicken salad sandwiches.
That involves the cutting up of both celery AND potatoes.

Enter My Hero:

I get to do two different tags!
Thanks to Schoolin"R"Home for this book tag!
Rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

The book is:
The Immortal Six Hundred: A Story of Cruelty to Confederate Prisoners of War
by Major J. Ogden Murray, Secretay of the 600 
Copyright, 1911

"Now here is an admission from the major-general commanding the Department of the South that it had been ascertained that the Confederate Government was feeding the prisoners of war good rations in Charleston, yet we prisoners of war in General Foster's hands, under fire on Morris Island, were fed four rotten hardtack crackers, with half  a pint of soup each day. Was, we ask, this cruelty wanton? If these Yanks had treated us half as well as our government treated Federal prisoners of war we would have made no protest."

And is it just me or is that first sentence like a page long??!!
And please don't take offense, anyone! It's the book nearest to me!

I tag:
kympossible,
ichuzchrist,
LizzieBee,
skdenfeld,
sockmonkey

And thank you to kympossible for this one:
The rules are:
(1) Link to the person that tagged you.
(2) Post the rules on your blog.
(3) Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
(4) Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
(5) Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website. 

1. I started turning gray in high school.
2. I'm lactose intolerant.
3. Not enough calcium caused the early graying.
4. In my 20's, I had problems with ulcers.
5. I lived off of Tagamet when it was presciption only.
6. Now I don't get ulcers, I give them.

I tag:
SchoolinRhome
brownie
nikowa
homeschoolingmommaof4
stackeyha
BChsMamaof3


And if you're still reading, I'll share this since I was trying to be mad at my husband over it but laughter always prevents that for me.

Weather changes here have caused most of us to have colds. Night before last I was over tired and really stuffy. Apparently I snored. It's rare that I snore so I suppose I try and make up for lost snoring when I do snore.

My husband told me that when I'm snuggled up to his back while sleeping, all he has to do is start to turn over and I'll turn to my other side.
Fair enough.

That didn't stop my snoring.

So he told me that if he moves my leg, I'll move to another position.
Say what??!!

Then he told me that he can move my leg again and I'll turn again.
All this while I'm asleep??!!

While trying not to laugh, I indignantly informed him that he makes it sound like I'm a science experiment.

He told me that I'm much more easily manipulated when I'm asleep.

MEN!!!

Ooh! Fun! I got tagged by: Entmoot Academy and Huber Hof Academy

"The game is called scattergories. Use the first letter of your name and find words with that letter. The number of letters in your name determines how many people you can tag."

It's a Monday and I'm up for avoiding reality, so I answered x2. Pathetic? Of course.

What is your name?  CrossView
4 letter word: Cool, Cola
Vehicle: Car, Cab
City: Chicago, Columbia
Boys name:  Carl, Carroll
Girls name:  Christine, Carla
Movie: Cars, Chicago
Occupation: Chairman, Charwoman
Something you wear: Clothes, Chinos
Celebrity: Cher, Cyd Charisse
Food: Chinese, yum! Ok, Cheesecake, Chocolate
Something found in a kitchen: Coffee, Chai
Something found in a bathroom: Child, Crayon
Reason for being late: Children, Chores
Cartoon character: Charlie (the Brown one), Chuckie (from Rugrats- the other one isn't a cartoon)
Something you shout: Come!, Cheater! (well, it's not something *I* shout...),
Animal: Cheepdog Caribou, Cheetah
Body part: Cheek, Chin
Word to describe you: Cheeky (from a South African friend), Cool (from my kids when I've pleased them)

And today I turned 45. Egads! I tell you that only so that I can tell you what my husband said. It amused me but you may have to know Bruce Lee movies to appreciate it:

Me: Baby? It's time to get up. (He got called twice in the middle of the night)
Guy: Mmmm. *mumble mumble* Happy *real* Birthday. (We celebrated yesterday)
Me: Thank you. Ooh! Now I really am 45. *gulp*
Guy: When things get rough, I'll just 'pull out a .45 and Bang! settle wit'.
Me: *Manical laughter*

And since I've mentioned it, I'll add a Blogthing:

Your Birthdate: January 21

You're a restless rebel with an unpredictable nature. Bright but unbridled, you tend to seek out wild experiences over new ideas. People are frustrated by your great potential, but you love your unconventional life. You're a heartbreaker. People get attached to you, and then you're gone. Your strength: Your thirst for adventure Your weakness: Not taking time for slow pleasures Your power color: Hot pink Your power symbol: Figure eight Your power month: March

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

And I'm passing the tag to: tomboy (we'll call it "school"),
The Reformed Home Schooler (because men doing these things just amuse me),
Homeschool Fuel (for a break from real life),
Our Little Corner (because I don't remember reading a tag by her),
ZooKeeper & the F-Troop and
Musings by Debbie (they've been MIA for so long they may want a jump-start),
Insanity Runs in My Family...It Practically Gallops! (just because she's an awesome young lady),  desperately seeking sanity (who may need a vacation from her vacation), and
Pretzel Family (since she may need a time-out for play)
and that's the nine I'm supposed to do but feel free to grab it if you want to!

My tomboy tagged me.
So being the good parent that I am, I'm doing it.
And if you read this, you're tagged.
Don't try to pretend you didn't....

Name: CrossView

Age: 44

B-day: January 21st

# of siblings: 1

# of pets: 1 horse that's supposed to be mine but I share. And an Old English Sheepdog- in my dreams.

State you live in: Chaos and Confusion. I'm quite at home here.

Fav thing to say online: Dork. It reads funny and makes me smile. Dork. Dork. Dork.

Fav smiles: The rolling eyes one. It's like looking in a mirror.

Fav animal: Well, I like my children a lot. And my horse. And my Sheepdog that isn't.

Fav person: Jesus, my husband and my kids.

Fav place: Home.

Where do you wish you lived: Ummm... no idea. Though my husband and I have discussed this at length. Neither one of us know where we want to live when we grow-up.

What animal do you wish you had: Did I mention an Old English Sheepdog?

Where do you wish you lived: Ummm.... Deja vu.

Cat or horse: Horse, of course. I'm not a cat person.

Cat or dog: Dog, an Old English Sheepdog. I'm not a cat person.

Chewaw dog or persian cat: Neither.

Braces or dentures: Never had braces and so far don't have dentures.

Classical music or country: Rock. If not, then either of them I s'pose.

Rubber or steal: I don't steal. Just kidding. Rubber OR steel is fine.

I've had my heels firmly dug in on avoiding all the "busy" things associated with the season.

So how's that working for me?

About like this:I've been drug, kicking and screaming fussing and flailing, against my will.

We have our tree up and decorated with presents underneath.
We have wreaths on the front and back door.
We have a few decorations up outside.
We have a few inside, too.
But that was mostly the 11 year old.

I will finish up my shopping today (hopefully).
I made cookies with the girls.
I bought wrapping paper.
I attended a Christmas party.
I provided financing and transportation for the kids to finish their shopping.
And. Uh.

There's nothing better than waking up to a good chuckle. Or a huge guffaw.

Kellieann has a great entry with a rap video. Don't like rap, you say? You'll love this one! It's her husband rapping. And worming. And, well, you gotta see it!

And. Oh. My. Apples of Gold had a day that makes my worst days seem just fine, thankyouverymuch. You will laugh, she did not.  (And thanks to Prodoceo for pointing this one out!)

And before Chris was Santa, he used to be a chubby kid with ummm, really snazzy shades.

Getting tired of being told you have to be PC? You can laugh and cheer in agreement with Archie/Arby, then!

And I must go and be a dutiful wife and mother. But now I can do it with a huge smile!

I love to mess with my husband.
I like to irritate him without making him mad.
It's a fine art for that fine line.

One of my favorite things to do is doodle on his work calendar.
When we have to head to town we usually stop by his office to say "hi".
As soon as he steps out of the office, or has his back turned for a minute, I add another doodle.
(Or two, or three, or....)
Sophomoric love notes.
Cute little sayings.
Goofy faces.
Or I fill in the days with what's on MY calendar.

Drives him batty.
He's a linear thinker.
And all the stuff on his calendar is work related.
Well, the stuff he puts on there, anyway.

So Monday the phone rings.
I answer with the usual, "Hello?".
He says, "You said to call?"
"Uh, no."
And I'm thinking that maybe I called and caller ID is showing? 
"No. I haven't called anyone today."
"Yes you did. You said to call."
"Uh, baby. Really. I didn't."
"Yes, you did. It says right here on my calendar, 'Call me, babe.'"
I burst out laughing.
I had forgotten that I wrote that weeks ago.
Ok, Guy. Good one. You got me!

The phone rings Tuesday morning.
"Hello?"
"Sagittarius or open for business."
"What?"
"Sagittarius or open for business."
"What are you talking about?"
"It says right here on my calendar, 'What's your sign?' and it's either 'Sagittarius' or 'Open for Business'."
I guffaw!
I have trouble breathing!

And I concede:
"You got me two days in a row but I only remember listing three because I couldn't remember any more of the 80's pick-up lines."
"You sure there were only three?"
"Pretty sure."

Wednesday I answer the phone.
He says, "Ok."
And I say, "What's on the calendar for today?"
"It says, 'Let's get together.'"

Note to Self:
Don't leave any more 80's pick-up lines on husband's calendar!

My youngest is a Christmas elf.
She has to be.
She's the most festive of us all at this time of year.

So what's an elf to do when Dad's working an awful lot and hasn't had time to get a tree?
Why, go out and dig a small one up, of course.
Just to tide things over....

Pure ingenuity.
Have shovel, will dig.
Find an unused planter of mom's.
Add dirt.
And voila:

But it must have decorations, too.
So get mom to find some printable ornaments.
Enlist siblings to help with the coloring.
Cut out.
Contact paper to laminate.
Safety pin to poke holes.
Paper clips for hangers.

Recipe for Southern "Rolls"

First, you find a huge tube thingy:

Add one kid:

Stir Roll:

Add a little kung-fu for a spicy kick:

Roll some more:

Roll until you find the trees:

Change kids:

Repeat:
Optional:
Threaten to keep them in there:
Prepare heating pads:

Will bring about squeals of delight!

Someone has been messing with my computer.
Someone has snuck a bit of cuteness in my photos.
I'm pretty sure I know who someone is.
But let's examine the evidence, shall we?

Exhibit 1- the photo in question:

Exhibit 2- the title:
"awww.jpg" 

Drawing conclusions:
1. My husband.
He might save a cute photo for me. Doubtful, but maybe...
However, he most definitely would not title it "awww".
And he hates the computer and so only gets on to play Spider Solitaire.
And then only with some child hanging on him and trying to *ahem* help him.
The children would have said something.
He's ruled out.

2. Me. 
I didn't do it.
I'm ruled out.

3. The 25-yr old.
Even if he were on here, he'd never save a photo without asking if it was ok.
And he'd probably never think of a photo as cute enough to save.
And he may not enough know how to save a photo.
He's ruled out.

4. The 11-yr old.
If she were to save a cute photo, she'd save it in her pictures.
However, she usually only likes pictures of her dog.
She doesn't change the title when saving pictures.
She's ruled out.

5. The 18-yr old.
She likes Mumbles more than anyone in this house.
She uses "awww" to describe cuteness.
She's extremely computer literate.
She often retitles pictures.
She's notorious for saving pictures and NOT deleting them.
She's swayed by cuteness.

Conclusion:
The 18-yr old is "Guilty of Cuteness Sabotage".

Ok, I couldn't stand it.
I had to go and get lost in the world of quizzes.

I had to do:
What Part of Thanksgiving Are You?
that I saw over on Mom of Many's blog.
I needed to know.
It could explain so many things.
And I'm only sharing because it turns out that I'm NOT the turkey!

You Are The Stuffing You're complicated and complex, yet all your pieces fit together.
People miss you if you're gone - but they're not sure why.

I don't know about all the depth stuff. But that last line? Pretty sure it's true.

And, of course, I had to try the quiz at Arby's.
His fit him. 
And just in case I decide to grow up, it could be helpful. 
Or not:

What Should You Be When You Grow Up?

You Should Be in the Military

You are driven, focused, and an extremely hard worker. And while you can be ruthless in getting what you want, you also have a compassionate side. You are able to balance your own desires with the needs of others. You'll do almost anything to get the job done, but you're not willing to step on anyone's toes. You do best when you: - Are working with others - Are in a fast paced environment You would also be a good CEO or school principal.

I don't think I'm "ruthless", tenacious maybe....

And then I had to know what my very own personality consists of, so:

What is your recipe?

And really, I have no idea what the results mean.

CrossView

- a pinch of hotness
- a pound of confidence
- a gallon of caring

Lightly brown.

But I do know that when my kids read this there will be retching noises.

The Blog Readability Test
What Level of Education is Required to Read Your Blog?

Ok, I couldn't resist.
I had to plug in a few URL's.
Some of yours.
And mine.

I'll let you find out for yourself.
I won't ruin the surprise.

But I thought mine would be Pre-K level.
And I was ok with that.
But WOW!

But don't get your feelings hurt.
I have another blog that got this:

And if you're feeling really competitive, my menu saving blog got this:

So I take it to mean that it's really hard to read.
But I choose to believe it's the depth.

I was tagged by Pretzel Family and couldn't think of a thing that could be considered "weird" about myself.

I mean, honestly, I'm so not issue-ridden.
I'm the epitome of sane.
I'm not weird.
So how could I come up with one thing about me that is weird?
And seven? No way! Not possible.
So I asked my ever-so-darling and precious daughters to help.

They're just too helpful. Really.

From the 11-yr old I get this:

1. "You look like a sheepdog because of your hair."
2. "You really love peach-smelling stuff."
3. "You wear shorts that are so holey that anyone else would throw them away."
4. "You really like coffee. You REALLY like coffee. You crave coffee."
5. "When you're thinking intently, you mess with your hair."
6. "You get grossed out really easily."
7. "You Judo-flip me."

And from the 18-yr-old:

(Hey, Mom... This kind of reminds me of the seven deadly sins for some reason... *grins*
Or maybe what's-his-name's "Dirty Laundry"! Or maybe "The more we share, the more we care!" Or Eminem's "Cleaning Out My Closet"?) 

My crazy mom...

1. Uses her knowledge of psychology to torment her poor, innocent, darling children
2. Has great fashion sense (though she doesn't necessarily incorporate it in her own life...) and a great sense of humor (but doesn't always tell jokes right...)
3. Has really, really expressive hands and can make the funniest faces
4. Is a coffee, chocolate, and computer addict (The Three C's!)
5. Likes Winnie the Pooh and 80's rock (so cool in a mom!)
6. Normally still sits like a teenager with her legs folded underneath
7. Is really fun, and is good with kids (of any age, from 1-101!)
8. (for one to grow on...)
Is the Google Queen!!!
(Also: I would have listed her appreciation of belching abilities, but you guys probably already know that from one of her previous posts... So you understand why I neglected divulging that little tidbit. But just in case you haven't read that particular entry, she does!)

And is just me or did the 18-yr old come up with like, 20?

And I thought they'd have a hard time coming up with seven between them...

But I'm NOT weird, I tell ya!

So I'm passing this on to these 7 people:
1. Arby's Archives
2. Chris
3. Prodoceo
4. LizzieBee
5. SockMonkey
6. KellieAnn
7. Earthling
8. And anyone who reads this who feels inclined to add to the honesty madness.

The fine print rules are as follows:
Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.
Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
Let each person know that they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Wow! I was actually 13 once.
A long time ago.
A very long time ago...
1976, to be precise.
The year they got all the GREAT-grandkids together for this photo:

Counting myself, I know exactly three people in the photo. 

My 3rd?, 4th?, 5th?, cousin e-mailed me this.
Some of the kids are her grandkids.

My Papa Wallace's 90th birthday.
He was cool!
A farmer and a school teacher...
Waaaaay back when.
And he would still tap dance!

My kids played "Find the Mom".
They all did pretty well.

I'm in the top, left corner.

When the movie first came out,
I was shocked to see my husband and I immortalized in film.It's like they had been peeking in our windows!

I loved how the captured the essence of my husband.
He can look mean to some who don't know him.
But we know better!

And as for me...
How did they know that I took kung-fu for years?

And my talent that doesn't thrill my husband is something else they covered.
But out of respect for him, I won't share that here.
I think he's just jealous that he can't belch on command.

And the kids...
WOW!
The eighteen-year old has what we call Musical Tourette's.
She can't help it!
She is constantly singing, humming, and buzzing.
And talking.
So her nickname is "Little Donkey".

And the eleven-year old?
She's the one who can work that cute factor.
And she loves swords.
That means:

As for the twenty-five-year old?
We're leaning towards:

And I'm loving the "happily ever after"...

Our "baby boy" (the youngest) is 25.
He's a really nice and well-mannered young man.
He's got a huge heart!
And he tolerates sisters so well
I call him "Pooh" as in "Winnie the..." because he's just my gentle giant.
At 6' 2", you may not want to call him that; but I do.
He tolerates me well.

He's the other Harley guy in the house.

He also does this sometimes:

He doesn't drink or smoke or cuss.

But he does do weird things at times.
Like the time he died his hair blue.
Now that was odd.
He was playing softball then and it did help us find him in the outfield.

And there was the time he got his eyebrow pierced.
That was odd but it did look good.
Especially with his shaved head and his height.
But it was a work hazard so he let that go.

And he thought about the whole tongue piercing thing but we (the two of us) researched it and he graciously gave in to my whining on that one.

He thought about a tattoo and asked me and I wasn't real gung-ho on it.
He asked Dad and got this line:
"I spent 20 years in the Marine Corps and was never stupid enough to get a tattoo. But if that's what you want, go ahead."
He was over 21 then, anyway.
He didn't get one.

So he goes for an eye check since he needs glasses to drive at night and he doesn't like that so he gets contacts.
So ok.
He's young, he'll get used to it.
He may even get used to me telling him that it was all caused by his hating carrots.

But I'm not sure I'll get used to this:

I mean, really! How odd is that?
He's considering something like those.

He kinda likes these:

They all scare me.

Except these:

His birthday IS St. Patrick's Day.
And I also call him the World's Tallest Leprechaun.
Perfect!

Another day, another road trip.
In the meanwhile, I'd like you to meet my husband.
I figured I'd let you get acquainted while I'm out running more errands all day.
I'm hoping to play catch up tomorrow!
And I call him "My Guy" since his name IS Guy...

TC makes me laugh.
And so to support this amazing woman, I hereby offer my contribution to her honoring of Bad Poetry Day.

Mom's a mess,
The kids are zany-
But they love the Lord
at CrossView Academy.

*fluffs hair*
*takes a bow*
*runs away*

You Are a Licorice Jelly Bean

You are an acquired taste. The less people fight your strange ways, the more they like them.

What Flavor Jelly Bean Are You?

.... or the Fess Parker rendition, at least.

Honestly.
It's just plain weird!
We've been watching the first two seasons of the old television show and the similarities are just downright scary!

Ok, so mine wears boots instead of rawhide shoes.
And mine wears a western hat or a baseball cap instead of a coonskin one.
And mine has a 2 rifles and a shotgun instead of Pennsylavania rifle.

But they both have a sassy wife!

Today.
We.
Had.
A.
Birthday.
Party.
For.
A.
Dog.

There.

I said it.

Hi. My name is CrossView and today I participated in a birthday party for a dog.

Really.

My mother and my youngest hatched this bizarre plot.

Complete with a cake fit for the dogs.
And presents, of course.
Because you simply can not have a birthday without presents, apparently.

Why was I never told of this before?
My mother, who birthed me and raised me, never told me of this.
In all of my fortycoughcoughsomething years she's never done this.
And now they're planning the other dog's birthday in October.

Can you see my eyes rolling here?
All over the place...
Roll them back to me, please.

*sigh*

If you're interested in the recipe for the dog's cake....

Birthday Cake for Pups

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 cup soft butter
1/2 cup corn oil
1 jar baby food, meat, beef, strained
4 eggs
2 strips beef jerky -- (2 to 3)

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease and flour an 8x5x3 inch loaf pan. Cream butter until smooth. Add corn oil, baby food, and eggs. Mix until smooth.

Mix dry ingredients into beef mixture until batter is smooth. Crumble beef jerky and fold into batter. Pour batter into loaf pan. Bake 1 hour and 10 minutes. cool on wire rack 15 minutes. Ice with plain yogurt or cottage cheese.

Store uneaten cake in refrigerator.

I found this at:
Stencil Me In

Pieces of conversations we've had...
Or a clue into why I love this man so much.
He just tolerates me so well!

Jen over at Jenerally Speaking posted her blog rating.
"How cute," I think.
So I follow the link and decide to give it a shot.
Apparently, you should keep your kids away.

After picking my jaw up from off the floor, I scroll down to see why I'm such a bad influence.

"This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:"

• death (7x) pain (5x) dead (4x) kill (3x) murder (2x) heroin (1x)

So I start "Ctrl F" ing all over the place. And it's true!  

Nursing homes and Aaron Neville and the like have ruined my blog!

If you dare, here's the link:
What's My Blog Rated

The last few weeks have been filled with some difficult emotional situations. But my kids have that sense of humor that I'm beginning to think can only be found amongst homeschoolers!

In the midst of a houseful of "sickies", my oldest daughter noted that the house had become a ca*cough*ony at night. Apparently, the hackings had been keeping her awake!

Having let my hair just go to white (it started when I was in my teens), I casually mentioned the prospect of coloring it. I was told that I shouldn't with a list of reasons. The clincher? My kids explained to me that they could always find me in a crowd since my white hair "glows".

"Punny" kids keep me rolling! So how in the world could anyone think of kids as a "burden"? I think of mine as the cheapest form of therapy around!