Mensa Mind in an MTV Vacuum
Dateline: Nov. 28, 2006
Year 2 - They call me the GURU! I am the walrus coo coo...

Just when I thought I everything under control, I decided to go back to college! It seemed like a good idea at the time. All I needed was to be a tad more organized... Famous last words!

 

We learned together about multitasking and dealing with changes and illness. Let me first point out that every time I get a new job or go to school or do anything that detracts time from my son he gets hurt and I spend more time in the ER than anyone could stand. We've endured dog bites, stitches, migraines, viruses and bacterial infections and that's just him since August! I've been sick, stressed and hospitalized.

 

I got a $15,000 hospital bill for two days NOT including Dr. charges and they included a NON-itemized statement with a friendly little note asking me to pay them in 15 days! I went in with a migraine and they did a spinal tap on me and I couldn't walk! They want me to pay them for that?! I'm livid. When they discovered I lacked health insurance they immediately released me whilst I was projectile vomiting and unable to walk! I lingered in this limbo for 8 more days then incredibly, turned on the tv and saw a Dr. doing alternative migraine treatments. I called him and told him of my experience and begged him to help me. He saw me at 5:15pm that day. He gave me a biocranial treatment and I was pain free in less than 5 minutes for the first time since 1992! It truly is a miracle. I still have no pain! If you or anyone you know needs help check him out at: www.drstuart.net or www.biocranial.com. I'll post more about that later when I have time to process it.

 

Through all our strife, we learned from each other once again. My baby literally had to take care of me for eight long days.  He called my parents with updates and asked for help when he needed it, he cooked, cleaned and comforted me. I tried to get him to go to his grandparent's homes so he could take a break and do kid stuff but he refused. He would bring workbooks and other schoolwork and hop in bed with me.

 

You may think this is nothing important but how do you test a child on nuturing and compassion? This is important if ever your child has the misfortune of being the victim of or witness to a traumatic event. They must remain calm and not panic. My constant drilling of this into his memory enabled him to save his uncle's life last year after he fell in the driveway and fractured his skull. While witnessing blood shooting from his ear, he remained calm enough to call me to come help them. My brother was Life Flighted (helicopter) to a trauma unit where he spent 10 days in Intensive Care. Doctors told my son repeatedly that he was a hero who saved his uncle's life.

 

People often forget that there are booksmarts and streetsmarts and both are important to self-preservation. Bad things happen to good people and children need to be prepared about what to do in an emergency. It's very helpful to talk to your child in a calm manner and together write out plans of action in different types of emergencies. For example: fire, accident, hurricane, tornado, etc. Then they don't feel helpless, they feel empowered because they know how to help.

 

When I'm ill, I tell my child to choose which channel he would like to watch, science channel, national geographic, etc. Then we discuss the show. In his journal he writes the most interesting topics he would like to learn more about. Then we go to the library to do research the old school way! After learning where to find information then we can check for additional information on the Internet. My mantra is always, "Knowledge is power!"

 

As a single parent I never thought I'd have the opportunity to homeschool my son. I took a leap of faith that has enriched both our lives. Now when I have to go to school to do a paper, he goes with me and does research on his projects. My most important goal is to teach him to think for himself and to nurture his love of learning that public school had extinguished by second grade.

 

The road not taken is a long and winding road but we love the journey and we're great traveling companions!  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dateline: Nov. 28, 2006
Year 2 - They call me the GURU! I am the walrus coo coo...

Just when I thought I everything under control, I decided to go back to college! It seemed like a good idea at the time. All I needed was to be a tad more organized... Famous last words!

 

We learned together about multitasking and dealing with changes and illness. Let me first point out that every time I get a new job or go to school or do anything that detracts time from my son he gets hurt and I spend more time in the ER than anyone could stand. We've endured dog bites, stitches, migraines, viruses and bacterial infections and that's just him since August! I've been sick, stressed and hospitalized.

 

I got a $15,000 hospital bill for two days NOT including Dr. charges and they included a NON-itemized statement with a friendly little note asking me to pay them in 15 days! I went in with a migraine and they did a spinal tap on me and I couldn't walk! They want me to pay them for that?! I'm livid. When they discovered I lacked health insurance they immediately released me whilst I was projectile vomiting and unable to walk! I lingered in this limbo for 8 more days then incredibly, turned on the tv and saw a Dr. doing alternative migraine treatments. I called him and told him of my experience and begged him to help me. He saw me at 5:15pm that day. He gave me a biocranial treatment and I was pain free in less than 5 minutes for the first time since 1992! It truly is a miracle. I still have no pain! If you or anyone you know needs help check him out at: www.drstuart.net or www.biocranial.com. I'll post more about that later when I have time to process it.

 

Through all our strife, we learned from each other once again. My baby literally had to take care of me for eight long days.  He called my parents with updates and asked for help when he needed it, he cooked, cleaned and comforted me. I tried to get him to go to his grandparent's homes so he could take a break and do kid stuff but he refused. He would bring workbooks and other schoolwork and hop in bed with me.

 

You may think this is nothing important but how do you test a child on nuturing and compassion? This is important if ever your child has the misfortune of being the victim of or witness to a traumatic event. They must remain calm and not panic. My constant drilling of this into his memory enabled him to save his uncle's life last year after he fell in the driveway and fractured his skull. While witnessing blood shooting from his ear, he remained calm enough to call me to come help them. My brother was Life Flighted (helicopter) to a trauma unit where he spent 10 days in Intensive Care. Doctors told my son repeatedly that he was a hero who saved his uncle's life.

 

People often forget that there are booksmarts and streetsmarts and both are important to self-preservation. Bad things happen to good people and children need to be prepared about what to do in an emergency. It's very helpful to talk to your child in a calm manner and together write out plans of action in different types of emergencies. For example: fire, accident, hurricane, tornado, etc. Then they don't feel helpless, they feel empowered because they know how to help.

 

When I'm ill, I tell my child to choose which channel he would like to watch, science channel, national geographic, etc. Then we discuss the show. In his journal he writes the most interesting topics he would like to learn more about. Then we go to the library to do research the old school way! After learning where to find information then we can check for additional information on the Internet. My mantra is always, "Knowledge is power!"

 

As a single parent I never thought I'd have the opportunity to homeschool my son. I took a leap of faith that has enriched both our lives. Now when I have to go to school to do a paper, he goes with me and does research on his projects. My most important goal is to teach him to think for himself and to nurture his love of learning that public school had extinguished by second grade.

 

The road not taken is a long and winding road but we love the journey and we're great traveling companions!  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dateline: Aug. 8, 2006
Year One is a success!

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When I started this fools odyssey I had no idea what was in store for me. I made the mistake of thinking I needed to pretend we were at school and try and stick to a schedule. After a couple of months, my son said he really liked me teaching him without him realizing it. I questioned him on it and he said you ask me to do things and tell me why I need to know them. When I'm done, I'm proud of myself and I feel smarter. Now I know that I don't have to be writing in a workbook and sitting at a desk to learn. I need to be able to get up and move around. I know there's more to being smart and learning than just doing book work. It's thinking before you act and figuring out the best way to do things.

 

He said his favorite things were home economics because he learned how to run his household and money management. Nothing motivates him more than doing chores to earn money for Hotwheels and Yugi-Oh Cards. I got him an ATM machine for kids from Hammacher Schlemmer and he puts all his money in it. Then he decides if he wants to put it in his savings account or to spend it. His first case of buyer's remorse was painful to watch but it taught him a lesson he hasn't forgotten.

 

He made me realize that I had forgotten my role and previous success in teaching him since he had been in school and I had been out earning a living. I didn't forget how to teach him, I had just lost confidence in my teaching abilities. I'd already done the hard work of teaching him how to walk, talk and read. He just needed that spark that ignites the love of learning.

 

One day I was watching Jeopardy and he walked in the room and was amazed that I kept getting the answers right. We have a movie trivia ongoing battle and he must win at all costs. He asked what my secret was and I said reading. You see me reading everyday. I read things that interest me and also watch the history channel, biography, discovery channel and the science channel. I remember the things that interest me and write them down in a notebook if it's something I might want to research later. Not wanting to lose anymore Jeopardy games to me, he watched me closer and mimicked me until it became habit.

 

Now that he's been deprogrammed from the system I see a much happier and healthier child. I didn't expect such a drastic change. Things didn't turn out the way I expected but they turned out much better and we have a stronger bond. He realizes he's important in making our household run and that children have great potential, they just need the opportunity to experience it. Now he enjoys going to his Grandparent's homes and cooking his speciality - Tamale Casserole. He got the recipe from the back of a can of tamales. We go shopping and he reads all the labels - I've created a monster! My mantra is Knowledge is Power and he agrees.

 

I hope we make even greater strides in the coming year. We both know it's possible.

 

Why do U Homeschool?
Why do you homeschool?
Public schools are failing my child
Develop a deeper bond with my child
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Dateline: May. 3, 2006
Please vote for me in Monique's F.A.T. Contest!

Please log on to www.dalaimama.monique.blip.tv and give me a 5 rating. Winning this contest would change my life in ways you cannot possible imagine. It would enable me to move to a better, safer place that is not hostile towards homeschooling families. The contest has already started and ends on June 30, 2006. Please tell your friends and ask them to vote for me. I've posted the same picture of myself here that I included on the website.

 

This contest involves being confident despite being a large woman and inspiring other women. Here is what I wrote on my web page:

 

Why should people vote for you to be the winner of the Users' Choice Awards?

My friends would describe me as a true original. A mix of Janis Joplin, Ginger and Mary Ann, Carrie and Samantha, June Clever and Sally from 3rd Rock. Never a dull moment but like solitude as well sometimes. Always the first one my friends call when they want to do something new and unusual. I guess you could say "The Road Not Taken" has been a long and winding road thus far but a good one.

I used to be too skinny and felt like a little girl. Going braless then was an option. Motherhood changed all that and now I feel like a beautiful, voluptuous goddess! I feel like a natural woman. I've been all the sizes of the rainbow from 0 to my current size 18. I've never felt more comfortable in my own skin than I do right now. For me, the important thing is being healthy and loving yourself and you can do that at any size. You should never be ashamed or embarrassed about your size. I never miss going to the beach or on vacation because I'm self-conscious about my weight. Afterall, like my age, it's ONLY a number!  It's like that song "Video" by India Arie, I've learned to love myself unconditionally because I am a Queen!

I'm a single mom in the south and all that it entails. I'm too busy sometimes but I find joy all around me. I no longer run away from anyone wielding a camera in my direction. I'm a shutterbug and my friends and family all suffer from flashburn. I would hate to look back twenty years from now and be totally absent from all our photoalbums and home movies because I didn't want my picture taken.

My only concern was that men would no longer find me attractive. God Bless the Chubby Chasers because I have more dates now than when I weighted 105! I've been told that when you feel good about yourself  you exude confidence and sex appeal. Just remember Ladies that the average American Woman is a size 14. Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell were size 14 Goddesses! The world would be a boring place if we were all stick figures. Being happy whether you're thick or thin is simply a matter of perception.

Becoming a larger woman made me less judgmental and an all around nicer person. I no longer believe happiness results from being a size 5. When I was a size 3 and 5, I had a boyfriend telling me how fat and disgusting I was! I had a complex about my weight as a result for years but I broke those chains to become the woman I am today. If I can do it anyone can! I still have my Calgon Moments but they are never caused by worrying about my weight.

 

 

 

 

 

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Dateline: Apr. 30, 2006
The Prizewinner of Defiance, Ohio

I just saw the movie, "The Prizewinner of Defiance, Ohio" today. I loved this movie and just had to spread the word. It's based on a true story. I bought the movie on Pay Per View on Dish Network so I'm sure it's out on DVD and in stores by now. If you have Dish Network order it quickly because it's only showing on one channel.

 

The movie stars Julianne Moore and Woody Harrelson. They are a married couple with 10 children and the story takes place during the 1950's era. Moore's character, Mrs. Ryan enters Jingle Contests to supplement her husband's income.

 

I thought this would be just a movie about a stereotypical houswife but I was very wrong. Mr. Ryan is a drinker and his wife is a remarkable woman who triumps in adversity and raises ten equally remarkable children.

 

It shows the strength and grace of a strong woman dedicated to her children and resigned to her life with a less than ideal mate. She had a career and gave it up for marriage and children. The movie is inspirational because rather than wallow in anger and self-pity, she remains positive and is the much needed source of love, encouragement and stability for her children.

 

While it shows a less than perfect marriage, there is not a great deal of physical violence but there is some verbal abuse. My 9 year old watched it with me. He noted all the sacrifices the Mom made for her family. He felt that she deserved a better husband who appreciated her. He also mentioned what a difference one good parent made in the lives of those ten children. Then he told me what a great Mom I am and how much he appreciates everything I do for him and gave me a hug and kiss.

 

I don't want to give away too many details but we watched it several times today and never got sick of it.

 

This is definitely a sleeper hit in the making. It's wholesome and inspirational. It would be a great gift for Mother's Day.

 

 

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Dateline: Mar. 15, 2006
Homeschooling LD/ADD Children

 

LD OnLine Home Page
NEWSLETTER   Send this page to a friend  
 
The leading Web site on learning disabilities
for parents, teachers, and other professionals
A production of WETA

Homeschooling LD/ADD Children:
Great Idea or Big Mistake?

CHAPTER 10
The LD Child and the ADHD Child:
WAYS PARENTS AND PROFESSIONALS CAN HELP

Suzanne H. Stevens
1996

Homeschooling is rapidly becoming recognized as a reasonable option for disgruntled parents who can't get their local schools to provide the special services their LD/ADD children must have in order to succeed. To these families, home education is the last resort- something to be considered only after all other options have failed.

It's becoming increasingly common for parents to pull a miserable LD or ADD youngster out of school in the middle of the academic year. It's as though something suddenly snaps.The family may have quietly endured years of IEP's, long conferences, tears from the child, notes from the teacher, promises from the administrators, and bad report cards in spite of all the energy they put into running a nightly study hall. They may have come to think of it as normal to feel trapped and helpless. But one day, in a sudden moment of clarity, they realize that their child's curiosity has disappeared, that he no longer has the impish zest for living that used to be such a charming part of his personality. When that moment of truth arrives, parents have no trouble severing their ties with the schools with just one word: Enough.

The decision is terrifying, but it is usually based on one absolute certainty:"Surely, we can do better than this!"

Homeschooling is not for everybody. But in the hands of the right kind of family, it can prevent many painful and destructive situations from developing and can bring healing to children who have been all but crushed by the system.

Many parents shy away from the thought of educating an LD and/or ADD child at home because of the horrible hassles they've had trying to help the youngster with homework. Homeschooling LD and ADD children is not as hard as helping them with their homework. Homework is always tackled at the end of the day when the child has already had all he can stand of teachers and books and frustrations. It's usually conducted by a parent who is tired from a long, hard day of responsibilities. As often as not, the parent and the child both resent the fact that they have to get enmeshed in assignments that are inappropriate, with directions that are not clearly understood, in books that are too difficult. There's almost always more work than can be accomplished in a reasonable length of time, and half the time, the necessary book gets left at school.

HOW DOES HOMESCHOOLING WORK?

Those who are unfamiliar with homeschooling picture a mother locked in the house all day with a brood of listless youngsters plugging along through an endless series of boring workbooks. Others imagine homeschooling to be an excuse to let children run wild with no discipline, no formal instruction, and no prospects for success in the future. To the unfamiliar, educating children at home is thought of as second best-an option chosen by religious fanatics, antisocial bigots, and those who live so far from civilization that normal educational opportunities are unavailable.

This may have been true in pioneer days, and it may apply to some home educators today, but in general, those who choose to educate their offspring take the job very seriously.They make it their business to get the training and guidance they need to provide a strong background in the basic skills, while also nurturing and developing special interests and talents in their youngsters. Through conferences, book fairs, catalogs, and support groups, homeschooling parents make it a point to determine which materials are best suited to their children. Through workshops, seminars, consultants, college courses, and a variety of homeschool support services, they receive the special training they need to master the instructional methods most appropriate for their children.

A Utah mother of six assumed full responsibility for teaching her LD children to read. With the first one, it took some experimentation before she found a method that worked. Once she established a routine combining effective techniques with the right materials, she believed she had "the answer."

Much to her surprise, the closetful of expensive materials that had worked so beautifully for her eldest didn't do a thing for the next in line. In order to get her number-two son reading, she had to go through a whole new process of exploring materials and trying out alternative methods. By the time the second child was learning successfully, number three was ready to start.

Fully trained and experienced in two methods for teaching reading, the mom figured that introducing the third child to the printed page would be a breeze Not so. Neither of the approaches she had so carefully developed brought the desired results for the newest first-grader. It was back to the catalogs.

By the time LD child number four reached first-grade age, this family knew what to expect. As with the siblings who had gone before, a completely customized reading program had to be created just for this one little beginner. It was labor-intensive and quite expensive, but the results were outstanding. One by one, each of the six LD children in the family entered the regular neighborhood school in the third grade, fully functional at grade level in all subject areas.

Highly trained, fully certified LD specialists rarely have a record that good!


Successful homeschoolers come in all flavors The United States and Great Britain have a long history of educating children at home. The practice has helped produce outstanding adults in many fields. Among United States presidents, George Washington, James Madison,John Quincy Adams,Woodrow Wilson,William Henry Harrison, Abraham Lincoln, and Franklin D. Roosevelt benefited from homeschooling. Other well-known statesmen with similar schooling were William Penn, Winston Churchill, Patrick Henry, and Benjamin Franklin. Many great military leaders received some homeschooling, among them Robert E. Lee, George Patton, and Douglas MacArthur. Many successful composers, writers, and artists were given homeschooling: Johann Sebastian Bach, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Irving Berlin, Hans Christian Andersen, Pearl Buck, Noel Coward, Charles Dickens,Agatha Christie, Helen Keller, George Bernard Shaw, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Claude Monet, and Andrew Wyeth. Great innovators and inventors have benefited from homeschooling: Alexander Graham Bell, George Washington Carver, Pierre Curie, Leonardo daVinci,Thomas Edison, Cyrus McCormick, Andrew Carnegie, Orville and Wilbur Wright, Albert Einstein, and Charlie Chaplin.Two particularly well-known women who received homeschooling were Florence Nightingale and Eleanor Roosevelt. The explorers Lewis and Clark were both homeschooled.

The one thing all homeschooling parents have in common is a total commitment to providing their children with an education of the highest quality.They truly believe they can arrange for or provide such an education themselves, at home and in conjunction with resources available in their community. In most cases, their belief in their ability is well founded.

A multitalented high-school student was extremely active in a number of theater groups in his city. He had major roles in at least five or six productions every year. He took dance lessons, guitar lessons, voice lessons, gymnastics, art lessons, and acting classes. He was also interested in video and made dozens of productions in his basement studio.

Ideally, this fifteen-year-old should have been at some expensive school for the performing arts. But Cal had a severe learning disability, along with a troublesome attention deficit disorder. It would have taken a highly specialized (and extremely expensive) LD school to create classes where he could be successful. Through homeschooling, the boy's parents provided him the advantages of a school of the arts combined with a specially modified academic curriculum to accommodate his learning difficulties. No amount of money could have purchased an education more appropriate for this particular student. By educating their gifted son at home, Cal's family created the ideal program to fit his unique strengths and weaknesses. Few children are so fortunate.

CONTACT WITH SCHOOLS

Many homeschoolers maintain a connection with the schools their children might otherwise attend. Whether parochial, public, Christian, or independent, if approached creatively, most educational institutions will develop a cooperative, helpful relationship with homeschooling families and make parts of their programs and facilities available to part-time students who do the bulk of their work at home or on some other campus.

A particularly persistent New England father enrolled his seventeen-year-old son in the state university system as a special student. Twice a week, the youth commuted to classes. The boy also took an advanced electronics course at the local community college.And he had art and an advanced-placement history course at the local high school, where he was captain of the football team. As for homeschooling, his mom was his instructor and partner for world literature and foreign language. The two of them were finishing up the fourth year of their mail-order Spanish course. For their literary studies, they were reading the works of contemporary Central and South American authors in the original. In addition to the book learning, they spent half an hour a day stretching their vocabulary by working in the garden or cleaning up the kitchen with no English allowed. Once a month, they spent the day with a group of Hispanics. Every summer, they went to Central America on a two-week mission for their church. These two became very skilled at using their foreign language. No nearby school offered training any better than what they were getting at home. This young man had it all!

USING PROFESSIONALS

Other homeschoolers use professionals to do some of the teaching. No matter how remote the area, there is almost always somebody available to provide instruction in the subjects in which the mother feels inadequate. LD specialists in private practice can do therapy with homeschooled youngsters or coach and instruct teaching mom. High-level math courses, advanced lab sciences, art, music, and foreign language are commonly taught by professionals. Sometimes, a group of homeschoolers bans together and hires a certified instructor to teach a whole class of students.

Guidelines that set limits on homeschoolers vary from state to state. Homeschooling is generally done any way the family finds appropriate. It's just a matter of dreaming up what is ideal for a particular child, then making it happen.

The father of a youngster who showed talent in creative writing let his son do the regular college preparatory program at the local high school except for English. That instruction was provided by the parents, who were both English teachers.

It was an extremely successful venture. The young scholar matured into an internationally recognized poet when still in his twenties!

Through homeschooling, this family found a way to give its son a language-arts program of outstanding quality. Judging from the outcome, the energy invested paid off well.

FLEXIBILITY

One of the beauties of teaching children at home is the flexibility that allows families to design their own schedule. There are no fixed rules. Many ADD youngsters are "night people" who just start coming to life when other children their age are turning in for the night. Even when they don't stay up as late as they like, it's extremely difficult to get them out of bed at the crack of dawn in order to dive into the books. Their brains just don't perk up until the middle of the day. For them, a school day that starts around ten in the morning (or after lunch) makes more sense.With older children who have a job or talented youngsters who need the daylight hours to practice music or sports, academics can easily be postponed until late in the day. And for those who really want to be free from the restrictions imposed by schedules, there's nothing to say that homeschooling has to be done at home. One California mother takes her three students to the beach twice a week. She says their best discussions take place during the commute.

Since homeschooling is done in a quiet environment where there are few distractions, youngsters with an attention deficit disorder find it easier to concentrate. Children with a learning disability have all their assignments tailored to fit their abilities and needs. Under the watchful eye of a truly dedicated teacher, students with a low tolerance for frustration can avoid the aggravations that lead to tears and outbursts of temper. Thus, by making it possible for children to work at full capacity and at top speed, most homeschooled LD/ADD students get all their work done in three to four hours a day.

Freed from the restrictions imposed on those who work with large groups, homeschooling parents can turn almost any corner into a good study space. Gathering around the kitchen or dining room table is popular. Some families give up the den or the living room in order to make it into a classroom. Kitchen counters are great places for working on projects, and front porch swings are ideal spots for reading. Parents who work with ADD students often do a lot of teaching outside.They'll chant arithmetic facts with a youngster who is rhythmically bouncing on a trampoline, or call out spelling words while the child shoots baskets. When a quiet environment is necessary, public libraries are available.

Some homeschoolers believe in teaching through real life experiences. In using the instructional methods they refer to as "unschooling," they rid themselves of the stifling effects of structure, eliminating anything that even vaguely resembles schools, schoolrooms, and schoolbooks. To those who see all activities as part of learning, the whole world becomes a classroom.

WHO WILL DO THE TEACHING?

What kind of qualifications must parents have in order to successfully teach their children at home? In some states, a high school diploma and a willingness to give it a try are considered sufficient. Other states require close supervision from the public school system or special training for the teaching parent. A few states only allow those with a college degree and a teacher's certificate to educate their offspring at home. A call to the state board of education or department of public instruction can clarify the legal restrictions involved. But that information only tells parents what the local laws allow. Other issues also need to be considered.

The one ingredient absolutely essential is total commitment. Without enthusiasm and cooperation from every family member, educating children at home is not likely to be successful. In most homeschooling families, the mother does the bulk of the day-to-day instruction, but fathers are often actively involved in the teaching of a subject or two.The men often volunteer for math or science and do their part in the evening after they get home from work.

Most families that are providing school at home are quick to point out that homeschooling is a lifestyle-an undertaking that involves every member of the family every day of the year. By making such a commitment to the process of educating children, every family activity takes on meaning as part of the teaching.Vacations become field trips where new skills can be applied and developed. Hobbies and leisure activities become elements of the academic program.There is no such thing as a day off. Everything that happens to a child is seen as educational.

The traits that make a parent suited to the task of homeschooling have more to do with temperament than background or education. Planning and carrying out a good educational program for a child requires patience, courage, creativity, determination, persistence, energy, enthusiasm, optimism, and more patience.

PARENTAL PITFALLS

Some people are not cut out to be teachers.They have the wrong temperament for the day-to-day supervision of those who are struggling to master a new skill. They want to be helpful, flexible, encouraging, inspiring, and kind, but some part of their makeup prevents them from doing so.

Perfectionist parents make terrible teachers. They fail to allow beginners to make the mistakes necessary for the gradual development of skills and understanding. Students don't learn everything all at once. It takes practice and experience.When there is no tolerance for errors, learning becomes a slow and painful process. Those who can't bear to let up on the pupil until an exercise is letter-perfect are best advised to leave the teaching to someone else.

A homeschooling mom and her twelve-year-old LD/ADD daughter were at each other's throats constantly. The girl had been in and out of several schools. Her lack of social skills made her classroom experiences a horror story of humiliation and rejection. She was also hyperactive, extremely distractible, poorly coordinated, and disorganized. This young girl and her mom had been homeschooling for over a year, and both of them hated it!

The mother was a registered nurse and a perfectionist. By training and temperament, nothing ever suited her until it was accurate, neat, and complete. Directions had to be followed to the letter. No work was ever finished until it was perfect.

A parent with unreasonably high standards is not a good match for a student with a serious attention deficit disorder.

Disorganized parents are also likely to have serious difficulties being in charge of an educational program. Even the unstructured approach of "unschooling" requires a certain element of control over the learning process. Unplanned, random events do not work together to expose a youngster to all the basic skills necessary to thrive in the real world. Successful teaching requires goals and a process of deliberate preparation. Someone has to decide on the activities used to expose learners to information and ideas, supervise day-to-day practice of skill development, and take responsibility for time-management techniques that establish realistic schedules and deadlines. Parents who want to homeschool youngsters with learning disabilities and attention deficit disorder must be willing and able to maintain an orderly environment where such children can be productive in spite of their tendency to be disorganized.

On the other hand, some parents are too organized to manage a homeschool program."Neat nuts" who try to impose their orderly preferences on LD and ADD students usually end up creating a contest of wills that is very destructive.

Harry was an unusually disorganized teenager. From long-overdue library books to moldy sandwiches, he carried just about everything he owned in the huge backpack he used as a book bag.

Most parents would not have been particularly bothered by his slovenly habits. But Harry's dad did not hold with standard views on cleanliness. The man was a "neat nut." It was always easy to tell when the father had packed this eighth-grader's lunch. The brown bag was creased as precisely as the pants in a general's dress uniform. Then the top of the sack was folded twice, pressed to a crisp, sharp edge, and fastened in the exact middle with a staple.

In his attempts to force his untidy offspring to adopt his own orderly ways, the father's persistence evoked angry responses in the boy. There must have been some awful scenes. The father referred to his son's attitude toward neatness as "combative."

Parents with a short fuse often have serious trouble homeschooling. They find it extremely difficult to listen compassionately as a frustrated child complains about school being stupid and boring. Quick-tempered adults usually have limited tolerance for careless errors. And LD/ADD youngsters make lots of them. It takes self-control and a great deal of patience to successfully teach any student who has difficulty sitting still, paying attention, and learning.

One other potential pitfall involves learning styles.Teachers tend to gravitate toward the methods and materials they found interesting and helpful when they were students. It's natural for visual learners to assume that everybody needs lots of illustrations, charts, and diagrams. Likewise, auditory learners tend to rely on long explanations without realizing that many LD/ADD students find lectures exceedingly boring and confusing. Homeschooling parents need to make it their business to find out about learning styles, their own as well as those of all the children they'll be teaching. Homeschooling is not much of an improvement over the regular classroom if there is no attempt to customize the curriculum to fit each student's individual talents, interests, limitations, and needs.

Working parents who are truly committed to homeschooling usually find ways to work around their scheduling limitations. Students who are doing a mail-order program, a videotaped curriculum, or workbook-style courses require little supervision; they only need to confer with their teacher for brief periods a couple of times a week. As long as they can be trusted to get their work done and stay out of trouble, being home alone allows them the freedom to be fully in charge of their academic activities.

Sixteen-year-old Mike had lost interest in academics in the seventh grade. For four years after that, he slept through classes, refused to do homework, and hung out with troublemakers. He smoked cigarettes, came home drunk on a number of occasions, and did more than a little experimenting with drugs. He was on the verge of dropping out of school.

Out of desperation, Mike's mother and father gave in to their son's pleas and arranged for homeschooling. Since both parents had full-time jobs, the boy would have the house to himself all day long. From his past performance, he certainly did not look like an ideal candidate to be trusted with so much freedom. But his parents had tried everything else and were willing to give such a radical measure a try.

Much to everybody's amazement, Mike settled into his new homeschooling routine like a hand slips into a glove. Every day, he happily completed all of his assignments. His work was of good quality, he did well on tests and reports, and his attitude was excellent. Without the constant contact at school, his old party-loving crowd lost interest in him. He got more active in the youth group at his church and made new friends. By the middle of the fall, he was looking into colleges.

In early February, Mike's mother lost her job.While she was unemployed, she spent a lot of time around the house. Mike found her presence a terrible disruption to his concentration. Just as he'd sit down to the computer to write a book report, the whine of the vacuum cleaner would claw at his mind for attention. Every time he took a break, he'd get parental reminders about the need to do schoolwork. He even viewed sweet, motherly invitations to share a gourmet lunch on the patio as in invasion of privacy.

Mike was tremendously relieved when his mom got a new job. He was pleased to get her "out of his face" so he could get back to work!

Although the unsupervised approach is best suited to older students, there are a number of families who find that their nine to fourteen-year-olds have the maturity to act responsibly while left unattended to do their schoolwork. One such family is homeschooling two boys, ages thirteen and nine.The youngsters get up and get their day started before their parents leave for work.They do their assignments independently of each other. The younger son relies on his brother for assistance when needed. The older boy uses E-mail when he needs help. When there are decisions to be made, the teenager is in charge. During breaks, the two shoot baskets or play computer games or tinker with their bikes or work on projects or do their chores. When the mother gets home, the boys get free time until dinner. In the evening, each son gets one hour of private homeschooling instruction. Both parents participate in the process of checking work, teaching new concepts, and making assignments. Not every pair of brothers could handle so much responsibility, but for this family, it works beautifully.

LD and ADD youngsters are notorious for daydreaming or piddling around when left to study alone.Yet when they are given assignments they can successfully complete without assistance, and when they are placed in an environment where they are free from interruptions and distractions, some of them blossom into contented independent learners.

WHAT ABOUT SOCIALIZATION?

There are young people who crave solitude. Our culture tends to fear any kind of isolation that might turn a child into a "loner." Yet for some children, particularly those with poor social skills, it is a kindness to remove them from the constant burden of having to interact with their peers.

Children who have trouble paying attention cannot tune out the activity going on around them. They notice everything. Only a handful of teachers present their lessons with such dynamic energy that all the students in the class keep their minds riveted on their schoolwork. Thus, in most classrooms, children with an attention deficit disorder spend most of their time with their eyes on their classmates, rather than their teacher. If there's any horsing around going on, they are likely to be in the middle of it. Sometimes, they are the ringleaders. Often, they are mindless followers. All too frequently, they are the victims.

When families switch to homeschooling, this entire social problem is eliminated. The distractions caused by the presence of other children no longer pull attention away from schoolwork. By placing LD and ADD youngsters in an environment where they cannot be influenced by the actions of other children, their tendency toward impulsive behavior can no longer get them classified as lazy students, stupid kids, troublemakers, outcasts, or nerds.

For children with a learning disability or an attention deficit disorder, that's one of the biggest advantages of homeschooling. By not forcing them to blend into the general mix, parents get control over who will have the opportunity to influence their children. During their formative years, children learn by emulating the behavior of those around them. The little kids copy the big kids. Those who wish to be sure that their youngsters are not exposed to role models who will lead them toward violence, drugs, foul language, sexual promiscuity, and other undesirable behaviors see homeschooling as an affordable option. Homeschooling allows parents to be selective about the company their children keep.

CUSTOM-DESIGNED PROGRAMS

Those who successfully homeschool LD and/or ADD youngsters tend to design programs that are child-centered. If the student has special interests and talents, they get top priority. Also, there is a strong commitment to teaching the basic skills. Most homeschooling families are absolutely adamant in their belief that all children must master reading, writing, spelling, and math. The time schedule might not coincide with the sequence set out by regular schools, but teaching parents rarely give up until the goal is achieved.

It's not unusual for home educators to postpone formal reading instruction until a child is eight or nine. On the other hand, many teaching mothers introduce phonics to four-year-olds. It's a matter of readiness and a personalized curriculum that fits the student's capabilities and the parent's teaching style. Faced with an area where a youngster's development is slow, many homeschoolers have the courage to wait for a window of opportunity where interest and desire motivate the child to leap into the subject with enthusiasm and optimism. It's the teacher's job to be alert to the subtle signals that indicate when a new stage of development has prepared a youngster for success in previously unexplored territory.

Alice, a pert little ten-year-old, had not mastered even the most basic elements of mathematical computation. She'd gotten stuck somewhere in the first grade and never progressed. Every year, her mother introduced her to a new book and a new set of teaching techniques. Every year, the child resisted instruction and gained no new skills. As a youngster, her mother had been slow in catching onto arithmetic. She had complete faith that her daughter was merely following the same pattern and would catch up.

In the summer vacation between fourth and fifth grade, Alice ran across an old first-grade math workbook. One rainy afternoon, she curled up in the porch swing and worked her way through all the problems. She had so much fun that she asked her mother if they had another book of "number games." By bedtime, the child finished the material in the second-grade book. To finish the third-level workbook, she needed a little instruction. With her mother providing guidance when needed, Alice played with her math books for the rest of the summer. By the time the family resumed homeschooling in the fall, Alice was doing fifth-grade arithmetic, just like she should have been. Somehow, over the summer, reasoning with numbers came to make sense to her.

 

Many homeschoolers have had similar experiences. Some children just can't seem to learn to read when the basic literacy skills are introduced in first and second grade, then suddenly catch on somewhere in their early to mid-teens. Although they get a late start, it all comes together for them, and they're on grade level within a few years.

That seems to have been what happened to Winston Churchill. He was a nonreader until the age of thirteen or fourteen. He was well versed in the classics and world history, because he was homeschooled and his family read to him. In his mid-teens, he was sent to a military academy, where he learned to read and write and spell well enough to become a war correspondent when he was only nineteen. In his mature years, Churchill wrote several highly respected volumes on the history of World War II.

Albert Einstein followed a similar pattern. As an adult, he often referred to his "retarded development." Although he did not learn to read until he was a teenager, he was a successful student in a major university in his early twenties and was a prolific letter writer throughout most of his life.

Many students have trouble when forced through a fixed curriculum at a predetermined pace. For those whose intellectual growth does not progress in accordance with standard developmental patterns, homeschooling has the flexibility to let the student's readiness be the determining factor in deciding which skills and topics are introduced.When a student is really ready, learning is a natural, spontaneous, pleasant process.

CAN PARENTS REALLY TEACH LD AND ADD CHILDREN?

Families who make the choice to homeschool their LD and/or ADD children get the information they need about materials and instructional methods through support groups, conferences, and a network of specialists who help home educators develop the skills they need to successfully teach their children at home. LD children will still have trouble learning to read and write and spell when schooling is done at home. In most cases, the teaching parent keeps changing the curriculum until one is found that works. Homeschooled youngsters with an attention deficit disorder still have difficulty sitting still and paying attention. Through patience, determination, a thorough understanding of the child, and a commitment to providing everything necessary for successful learning, most homeschoolers figure out ways to keep ADD students organized, on task, and energetically involved in academic activities.

In the hands of the right parents, LD/ADD students thrive in the quiet, noncompetitive environment outside the regular classroom. When asked if such a radical commitment was worth it, these parents usually beam with delight as they say,"We've got our child back."

Reprinted with permission from: "The LD Child and the ADHD Child: Ways Parents & Professionals Can Help," Suzanne H. Stevens, John F. Blair, Publisher, 1996, Chapter 10, (pps. 216-231). ISBN 0-89587-142-4.

Order "The LD Child and the ADHD Child: Ways Parents & Professionals Can Help" on Amazon.com

Other homeschooling articles on LD OnLine:

Homeschooling the Gifted Child , ERIC Digest #E543 - The information in this article applies to homeschoolers of any special needs child.

Homeschooling Fact Sheet, Learning Disabilities Association of American - Who homeschools? For how long? How does their academic performance compare with other students?

Ten Tips for Homeschooling Your Special Needs Child, Terrie Lynn Bittner - A good reference for planning and evaluating your teaching.

Online Resources for Homeschooler - Links about homeschooling and educational websites in the Finding Help section.

Visit Some Homeschooling Families



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LD OnLine is a service of WETA, Washington, D.C., in association with The Coordinated Campaign for Learning Disabilities. LD OnLine is made possible in part by generous support from Lindamood-Bell Learning Processesฎ and The Mitsubishi Electric America Foundation.

 

 

 

 

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Dateline: Mar. 14, 2006
Outrageous Utility Bills! Enough!

I'm outraged that in a time of record high corporate profits from Exxon-Mobil and other planet rapists that utility bills have tripled here! I'm inclined to go out into the wilderness and build one of those solar home dones and get off the grid. Now that I think about it that would be a great research project. I've actually looked up lots of information about solar power on the web. Thanks to hgtv.com and fineliving.com you can delve into this fountain of knowledge and want more. Another great source is solardecathalon.org. College students built solar homes on the Washington Mall for one week and had to cook all meals, wash and dry clothes and drive solar cars. The entire week was a rainy, muddy mess and the solar power was enough to power the homes.

 

I've been intrigued by solar power since I was a small child. I've always dreamed of having a green home. Has anyone out there embraced this dream and made it a reality? I'd LOVE to know more about it if you have.

 

There are tons of books on amazon.com on green homes and solar energy. Click on the link below to check them out!

 

 

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Dateline: Mar. 2, 2006
When do you know your child needs a break?

I'm sure we've all been through burn out but when do we know our kids are ready for a break? Is it the constant barrage of complaints or the incessant whining? How do you determine the length of the break? Do you let them choose activities or choose for them? I'm coming off a broken arm and some expensive dental work so I could also use a break.

 

Let me know your thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dateline: Feb. 5, 2006
Home Based Businesses for Single Moms

I'm wondering if anyone has a great home based business for single moms. I'm already doing Amazon and EBay and The Body Shop at Home. I just need something that is profitable and will allow me to keep as much time as possible open for homeschooling.

 

Please let me know in my comments section. Thanks ladies!

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Dateline: Nov. 4, 2005
Family Watchdog Website

Please check out this website: www.familywatchdog.us. You type in your address and it brings up all the sex offenders near your home and schools in your area. Click on the RED dots and it brings up a photo of the sex offender and what they were charged with. It's chilling! John Walsh from America's Most Wanted evidently had a hand in helping develop this website and it contains topics to talk to your children about avoiding predators.

 

 

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