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Dec. 6, 2006 - Sing with me...

The longer we live here in the complex, the more and more blessed we become.  Not that the Lord is visiting us personally alone, mind you.  But I just see His hand at work in so many ways so often.

First of all, my 14yos finally decided to spend some time with the youth group at the church we've been going to.  He was very hesitant b/c he didn't know many people, but last week they had a lock in fund raiser to earn money for a CA trip.  He had a blast, and he fasted for 30 hours (part of the lock in).   Praise the Lord!  Now, I'm praying for his relationships there to be blessed and protected by God.

Part of their weekend lock in was spent helping the poor.  They had to scour the city for canned good, dried goods, etc.  By the end of the weekend, they had gathered so much food for our foodbank here, that it took me four hours to put all the groceries away today. It was awesome!  And during this time of year, our foodbank is super busy each week. 

And something so special happened;
I began a couple of days ago to pray specifically for a gal who I have been visiting with.  She needed a great deal of money in order for her and her dh to receive some counseling, which they both agree they need desperately.  She had mentioned that she was going to get a loan...and I prayed specifically from the moment she mentioned this, that the money would come to her in the form of a gift, so that she wouldn't have to worry about debt.  And no kidding....within 24 hours, that's exactly what happened.  God is just so awesome!

This confirmed a couple of things for me.  It reminded me how much the Lord really cares about His children.  That He loves us oh, soooo much, that He'll do whatever takes.

It also taught me that my faith directly effects others...and that sometimes, people won't have enough faith for themselves...and it's important for ME to keep believing for them.  Not that this gal didn't believe PLENTY...but so many people that come to seek guidance,...don't!  God expects me to keep trusting Him no matter what!

Dh and I continue to struggle with our own finances, and so it's a blessing to be someplace we can't get "kicked out" of...but I'm just continuing to believe the Lord to be huge in the midst of our circumstances.  I know He will do what best glorifies Himself.  So, if you wanna believe with me,....Sweet!!

14yos is working hard on his Algebra, Biology and Starting Points so he'll be ready to enroll in public school in the fall.  I would love to keep him home...but in my heart of hearts, I just know the Lord can use his time away to actually reinforce what we've been teaching him all these years...especially as he participates in sports.  He really needs that disciplined lifstyle.

12yod is moving forward with her reading, but still shows little interest in reading on her own.  I'm praying her desire to accomplish will outweigh her discouragement.

8yos is just a genius.  I mean it...he really is!  He is learning by leaps and bounds!  He's spending time doing a lot of school with my mom lately, just so I can keep working each day, and help my oldest when he needs it.

Lots of going's on around here!  Keep us in your prayers!!

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Nov. 28, 2006 - Oh, that they'd long for Jesus!

Discovered today how much my oldest is missing.

I found an IM box open that he'd been using on my computer to chat with his dearest friend, whom he's known since birth, and was appauled at what I saw.  Evidently, the two teenage boys were trying to "out do" one another in a gross-out contest...and I think my son...umm...er...I guess..."won."

It was disgusting, and vile, borderline p*rn*graph*c...no, wait...it was definitlely p*rn*graph*c.  So much so that it actually made me want to wretch.  In fact, I spent several minutes over the trash can, just in case.   

He claims of course, that he heard it from kids in the neighborhood, because (and I quote) "that's what teenage boys talk about."  Since the peer response was "GROSS!" he decided it must be the sickest thing to share in a "gross-out" contest.

...and my heart just ached for him. 

Did he not sense the Lord prompting him to protect his friend and himself, and refrain from sharing such nonsensical filth??   He claims to have a saving faith in Christ...where was He while my ds was typing?

Is his spirit just not sensitive to the Holy Spirit enough to know when his door is being "knocked upon?"    Why not?

*sigh*

I love him so much...and know God has set him apart for tremendous things.  But today, my prayer for him is to just FEEL God in there somewhere...and long for more of Him. 

Tonight, when he got home from work, he did come and say, "I think I just got carried away.  It was stupid and immature, and I won't do it again."

The one word I wanted him to admit to,....he couldn't say...and that was...the "S" word....."sin." 

Lord, what an amazing child you've placed in my care.  My heart wants to explode when I begin to sense your awesome and wonderful love for him.  Please, give him a tenderness that only You can give.  Draw him so closely to you, that he never wants to wander.  Use me or move me...so that Your will can be made complete in his sweet young life.  Save him from himself, and bind op the evil one who desires to devour and reek havoc in this little life.  Bind him in the name and through the blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ, and equip this child with wisdom beyond his years, and passion for holiness that can only come from genuinely knowing and loving....You.

Amen

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Nov. 27, 2006 - Changes are good...right?

Last week, the director and I got together to discuss  a couple of things that had sorta "popped up" in the food bank ministry, and we decided that we needed more privacy in the prayer room.  It sits (or sat) between the welcome center and the actual food bank room.  So all through the prayer time, volunteers would be walking back and forth from the welcome center to the food bank, and vice versa, while we tried to pray and talk about their needs.   Now the volunteers have to do what they have to do...so it's not their fault.  But, we needed for each visitor to have some privacy.  You just never know what they're going to be sharing, ya know??

So, the director and I spent all evening (it's now 12:26AM and I just got home )  turning her office into a quiet room (which has a door we can close and lock, but a window so people can see inside the room) and put her office in the supply room.  This room is just AWESOME!  I'm so jealous!   Okay, maybe not too jealous...it's just an awesome room.  Five sets of cabinets that close and hide your office supplies, a full wall of desk-high counter space, already drilled out for computer usage, two big windows...it's just perfect.  She's excited, and I'm excited for her.  She's gonna love it in there...and I'm going to love the privacy we'll have in our new quiet room.

I'm starving, but afraid to eat this late...so off to bed.

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Nov. 22, 2006 - The latest on that previous "saga."

The child we mentioned who was accusing my dd of those horrible behaviors actually came onto the property earlier today.  My oldest son asked is she was telling people that she and my dd were "dating," to put it nicely, to which she replied, "yeah...we were."  He told her to stop speading lies, and she left.

When I asked dd again about the whole thing (and I swear that's the last time I'm bringing it up to her) she said that the girl asked if they could be "girlfriend's" and my dd (naive though she be) said, "Sure."  She was clueless that this child was talking about a "going together" relationship. 

Well, I'm more and more convinced that the enemy is just trying to side track all the great work the Lord has us doing here, so that's the end of it, as far as I'm concerned.  However, if I get a chance to, I am going to talk to this girl, and see what's "in there," ya know? 

Thanks for praying!

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Nov. 19, 2006 - Perhaps an upside.

Couple of things to update on...

It just so happened that our SS glass talked today about how knowledge in the world is so far removed from God's wisdom.  A mom who used to be in our hs group, but now teaches in the public school system, and has her kids in school, remarked how true this was in the public schools.  That even though there was knowledge being taught, it was certainly not the knowledge of Christ, as seen in Col. 3.  And that her dd was having to be exposed to h*m*s**uality already b/c a girl in her class was "outing" herself.  When class was over, I approached her to see if it was this same girl who was slandering my dd, and she said it was.  We wept for the lost innocense of our girls, and then decided we together would approach the principle of the school about the idea that this child was bullying with such accusations.  We'll see where that goes.  She seems to think the principal would be supportive.

And this morning, dd asked me if she could get a purity ring.  I asked her why, and she told me that all this talk about her needing to protect her heart, mind and body, made her think that she needed to make a commitment to Christ to help her do so.   I wanted to make sure she understood, and we're going to talk about it.  But I think this whole situation has made her realize that she can't just say she wants to be pure in thought, word and deed...she has to pursue that purity.

More to come...I'm sure!  And thanks for those praying for us!

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Nov. 18, 2006 - I knew we'd face some challenges...but my word!

This one has me completely shocked!

Now that we're living in town, and not so secluded in the country, our kids have a LOT more exposure to neighborhood public schooled kids.  We've had to address the "dating game," satanic symbols on clothing, gossip and dealing with children who "share" more than we'd really like for our kids to hear.   But this particular incident came right out of the blue.

Earlier today, my dh and one of the kids were getting gas at one a local "gas 'er fast" place in town.  While he was fueling, one of my 12yodd's SS teachers came up and said, "Were you aware that there's a rumor going around the public school that your dd (the 12yo, mind you) is bi-s**ual?  Another girl is telling people that she and your dd are 'girlfriends.'  How do you guys deal with that?" 

Deal??

DEAL??!!  Was she kidding???  We've never had to "deal" with that!"

At first, my head started racing to the worst case scenario's.  Was it possible that my sweet dd had engaged in some sort of activity that could have given another child the impression she had questions about her s**xuality?  I mean...was it??

Slam on the brakes!!  Back up!!

Dh and I went to dd and just began asking about her friends in the neighborhood...and wanted to know if any of those kids was unusually ugly to dd, or would one of them have cause to start an ugly rumor about her.  She said, "Yes...some of the kids in SS have been asking if I'm 'bi.'  I've told them I'm not, but they said (this child) has been telling them that we're 'girlfriends.'"

I asked if she understood what that really means?  She had an idea, but really had no clue!

Then...the mama bear in me wanted to pounce on this other child.  

Obviously, we talked about it for a few minutes,...I dug a little deeper to make sure there were no issues that hadn't been addressed, and then we prayed. 

And I cried.

A piece of my baby's innocense is just gone...and so is ours, I guess.  We now know how vulnerable our children are here,...and know how to pray for them, and with them.  But I'm in mourning right now.  And I'm also more sure than ever that this deceptively "sweet" little town has deep spiritual needs.  Those children think nothing of that sort of behavior (the gossip and the other stuff, too) and that just breaks my heart. 

Lord, I'm overwhelmed with my grief tonight.  I'm so saddened to have to have a conversation with my kids about such ugliness.  And yet, I am grateful to you for showing us where to go with our intercessions.  Help us to love those who sin against us with a love that only you can give.  And show us how to premeditate our forgiveness. Amen.

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Nov. 13, 2006 - Oh, the drama and grief!

I can see the Lord so clearly in the work we do here.  On Saturday morning, the volunteers and I walked into the foodbank to find a note that said, "Frozen turkey's in the freezer.  Please give to families on Saturday.  Signed, the head gobbler in the flock." We have no idea who left them, but praised the Lord for them, since there were just enough birds to hand out to the families who came in for food that day.  I love how God prepared a turk for each family.  Very cool!  

So who came?
I did some praying/counseling with three of those families.  One of the other volunteers prayed with the fourth.  I was in tears most of the morning, as all three of the people I spoke to had serious spiritual and physical needs.  But what brought me to my knees was how eager they were to just have someone listen and offer hope in their circumstances.  Two of them had come through last month, and when we spoke to them back then, they really shared very little with us.  But this time, they opened up and even asked about why we were there.  They wonder if the ministry is affiliated with any particular church in town, or why we'd give so much time to listen to their problems and then say, "Let us know if we can do anything else."  And it just struck me how fortunate I am to have a Savior who walks and talks with me as I go through my everyday trials and troubles.  Many of the folks we minister to just don't have Him.  It's so exciting to see Him drawing them to the ministry so we can be used to touch their lives even just a little.

The price?  And yes, there IS one.
As soon as we began praying earnestly over the ministry here, and began sinking our teeth into the tough stuff that needed to be done (mostly cleansing of sin from our own lives and humbling ourselves before God daily), the enemy went into action.  As you may have read in my previous postings, the neighborhood kids play a major role in life here in the complex.  Although they don't live on the property, they have very little to do that will keep them out of trouble.  Some of them have no restraints whatsoever, which breaks my heart.  And some come from very dysfunctional families, so I have tried to make sure they know how much we love them.  Some of them even call me "Mom," b/c they have no mother to call on.   But my kids have grown to care for them...probably becoming a little "peer dependent" of them, in fact. 

Our kids are not allowed to just "run" like those kids do, and so our kids get upset when they realize we have restraints on them that those kids just don't have.  Since we've lived on the farm for the last four+ years, we really have only had each other to spend time with.  All this "freedom" is very new to our children, and they don't understand why our standards are so different from the other kids' families standards. 

So, of course, my teenager is feeling left out and angry that we're so different.  His pride reared it's ugly head yesterday, when a couple of neighborhood girls (who are just way too forward for my liking) came to the door and asked if he could come out.   We said he couldn't for a couple of reasons, one of those being that he spent almost all day Saturday with them and a few other friends.  However, I made it clear that the girls could come in and watch football with him and his father, or sit with me and my friends at the kitchen table.  They declined.  He got so angry that he swore at his father. He had to be "forced" to go to his room.  It was later that I realized the whole problem was not so much that we'd told him he couldn't go out... but was far more about how we had told him...in front of a couple of girls.  Is that not the most peer dependent thing you've ever heard of?  He's working off his bad attitude today here on the property, doing some much needed cleaning work. 

And lest my dd be left out, she experienced some genuine "shunning" this weekend, herself.  She had plans to play with one of the neighbor girls, but when that girl got a "better offer" to go running all over town with some older kids, the plans with my dd were "forgotten."  She was so hurt by this...and I was tempted to be so angry.  In fact, I'll be honest,...it totally irritated me.  How could they treat her like that??

Then I realized how much I am like them.  How often have I turned away for God's best in order to "fit in" better?? 

My dd let me pray with her, and love on her only for a second...before she curled up in a ball and cried for a while.   I felt so bad for her.  But she said she understood why that happened, and then she was trusting God to develop some long suffering in her through this experience. 

Lord,
This is exhausting!  I am so excited to see Your hand at work in the lives of the people who live here, work here, and visit from time to time for food from our storehouse.  I know it's work You have called us to do.  So, Lord...the enemy is fierce and working with all his might to keep us from doing it.  Bind him up, in the name and through the blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ.  Don't allow him to reek havoc with my children and my marriage.  Open the hearts of my kids to recognize the attacks for what they are.  I can't love You for them...they have to choose You.  Thank you for what you're going to do in our home.  Amen.

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Nov. 10, 2006 - Okay,...two things...about my "chastising" and a blessing, t'boot!

First of all, I just want to thank a very dear friend of mine for a special gift.    She's a gal in our hs group.  She called me the other day to share a fab-O deal on a laptop computer that WalMart was offering.  Now, the deal was that they were offering a Compaq Presario for a peachy price (under $400) after midnight one night this week.  Well, the price was right for sure...but the closest WM is 1/2 an hour away from me, closter to 45 minutes away from her, AND...the only had 20 of them to offer....so, in order to get one, you had to drive a "ways" AND stand in line early enough to get one. 

Well, my hs gal-pal knew I really wanted a laptop.  In fact, I had tried to earn one with the company I work for, and didn't get it.  Anyway, she said she'd buy one for me while she was there.  Was she awesome or what??     I am typing now from my brand new laptop, and just feeling very special right now.

Okay, so what happened to humble me so??

Well, have you ever said something, and at the time really felt like what you said was a "good thing," but then later it came back to bite you on the butt-isimo?? 

In an attempt to befriend some of the neighborhood kids and minister to them, I have let my guard down, and said something I shouldn't have.  One of the boys across the road is in a lot of trouble, pretty much all the time.  But, he's one of the sweetest kids, too.  I mean, he can have a decent conversation with me, talk about school (which he got "asked to leave," recently) and even share he woes from time to time.  His little sister plays with my dd almost daily.  Well, he recently "made a mistake" and we talked about the friends he hangs out with.  I made what I thought was a fairly obvious but mostly innocent comment;  something like, "Maybe you should evaluate your relationships with your friends and see if you could find some friends that would encourage you to do good, ya know?"  To which he replied, "Yeah...I know....that's what my parents say, too."

I thought that was the end of it....but NOOOOO! 

He actually goes and tells one of his buddies (and I use the term quite loosely here, since he's been in even more trouble that the first kid) that I told him he ought to stop running around with him.     He's the one who "named names" and mentioned he thought his life-long buddy might now be a good influence...not me.  I just said he ought to evaluate his relationships. 

Well the second kid is just livid...and he's only 14 or so, but what a mouth!!!  I went out and talked to him and made sure he knew I hadn't said anything to his buddy that I wouldn't say to him as well.

So, where did I go wrong?

I made the mistake of thinking that my words will always be shared with the same intonation, same motive, and same love that I intended them to be shared.  With kids, it just ain't so.  

I also learned that, when the Holy Spirit is cautioning me NOT to open my mouth,     I'd best NOT OPEN my MOUTH!!!  I had a short but definite caution in my heart right before I opened my mouth...it said something like, "Don't assume you can trust him yet!!  Don't think he'll receive your words the right way," and I just ignored Him.  And look what happened! 

Well...believe it or not, there's more...but it's late...and I'm just spent. 

Lord, please don't allow my arrogance and pride to get in the way of what YOU want to do in the lives of those around me.  Help me to hear You more clearly when You're trying to guide me.  And help me to be humble when it's time to "fess up!"  I love You, Lord!  Amen

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Nov. 9, 2006 - Just in case I was tempted to get all proud of myself...

...the Lord has revealed to me a pretty serious weakness.  I'm praising Him for it...but I'm also paying for it. I'll come back and post more later.  Just pray for me for now.  Thanks.

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Nov. 7, 2006 - How He Works...and I'm in Awe of Him!

When the director here and I started meeting every week to pray and talk about things going on here, I never would have planned on this.

One of the things that came up was how, for years now, the food bank has operated every week on Saturdays for just a couple of hours, and it's always just been mass chaos.  People came in, rushed through, got their boxes of food, and off they'd go.  She mentioned that one case was really troubling;  a woman had come in, and in the midst of all kinds of chaos and rushing around, mentioned she was having heart surgery "next week."  The volunteers couldn't even stop and pray with her, and her information card was filed away w/o anyone remembering her name.  This really bothered her.  She felt like we ought to be trying to reach this woman in some way, but now we had no way to do that.

I said, "Why do we have to rush people through each week?  Are we in a hurry?"  She asked if I had another idea, which I did, and the food bank underwent major reorganization over the course of the next two weeks.  Now, people come into a welcome center for coffee and a light breakfast with a "hostess."  They are then led into a counseling room (where the food storage used to be) and sit at a table with a counselor/prayer partner who can ask them how we can help them right now.  Our hope is to be able to help them network in the county with others who might be able to help them with other things besides groceries; utilities, auto work, finding a job, daycare needs, clothing needs, etc. 

Since they only come in once a month (at least that's the policy right now) our few minutes with them is crucial.  Then, we send them out the door with some food and some hope.  The volunteers then re-group at the end of the morning, and pray for each family that has come in.

Well this past week, when I was wondering if all the changes have really made much of a difference, God showed me what it's all about.

A woman named Marge (named changed to protect her privacy) came into the welcome center.  She was quiet.  She has three children in school, and a 19yod who has a small baby, living with her until she's able to "get things together." As I asked her how things were going for the family right now (she's a single mom) I kept hearing the Lord say "press a little harder."  Now, this is tough...b/c we know that not everyone wants to share all their personal problems with us.  They may come in just for the food, ya know?  But, He was so persistent. 

Finally, I said, "Marge...the Lord is really impressing me about this...is there something else we should be praying for you."  At this, she became very somber, face ashened with despair, and she said, "I just found out I have cervical cancer...and next week they'll check my lymph glands to see if it's spreading."    I literally felt the Lord push me toward her, as I grabbed her hand with both of mine, and moved my face closer and said to her, "Don't be afraid, Marge.  God has not given us the spirit of fear and confusion...that's not from Him."  She just nodded while I spoke softly to her and then I prayed for her. 

When we stood up, I hugged her and said, "He loves you, Marge...and so do we"  At this, she basically colapsed in my arms, and just heaved sobs upon my shoulder.  She was so pitiful...and so scared...and I just wanted her to feel better. 

After we shut down for the morning, I sat with the director and filled her in on all the details with Marge.  And I couldn't help but think back to a couple of years ago, when I sat on the front porch of our farm and literally begged the Lord to show me why things were so bad for us right then.  Why had my dh been unemployed for so long? 

Why had we had to sell almost everything we had to buy groceries and pay utilities?  Why had He not come to help us when we were in so much "pain?"   And it dawned on me...

If we hadn't had so much hardship, we honestly never would have considered moving here...because we would have thought things were not "that bad."  We would have muddled along and I never would have been able to help reorganize the food bank, and certainly wouldn't have been there to pray with Marge that morning.  Who would have been there for her?  And if all the heart ache of those hard times meant being here now to help her know how much Jesus loves her...then it was really all worth it, wasn't it? 

I took some other necessity items to her this afternoon.  She didn't let me come into the house, and I think she's a little overwhelmed that I'd care enough to drive 1/2 an hour to bring her bladder control pads (thanks to the cancer), but I can't help but think that God wants to "be Big" in her life...and I don't want to miss it.

I apologize if this sounds a bit meladramatic...I am just experiencing Him in a whole new way right now...and want y'all to know about it. 

BTW, a gal came in last week and mentioned that her mother had recently had surgery and would we pray for her.  When we asked her about that, the gal told us it was the nameless woman that Lil had been praying for since she'd heard about her heart surgery.  We got her name and phone number, and we can now follow up with her the way we wanted to.

Ain't He cool??

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Nov. 4, 2006 - Here's a family photo of us in 2005

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Nov. 4, 2006 - Can't believe how long it's been since I updated this page

We've now been living in the complex for almost four months.  I can't believe it's taken me this long to get back in here and post all that's been going on. 

It actually took us three months to slowly empty out the barn and out-buildings on the farm property.  Man, I miss that place; the quiet pasture around the house, the birds singing right outside my window every morning, our barn cats, and of course, the slower pace of living.  Well, actually...I say slower pace...but for my dh, I think it's been a slower pace for him here at the complex.  No animals to feed every day, no yard to keep cared for, no barn to clean.  In fact, he's sleeping on the couch right now, after a full morning of Soccer games with the kids.  LOL!

What's been happening since we got here?

For the first few weeks we were here, (and in fact, even now) we spent a lot of time figuring out how to live as a family in a small apartment.  My dh and I have had an apartment before the kids were born, but now,...well, you can imagine how different things are.  We share a w/d with another family (single mom and her 3 kids) and three other women in the complex.  So, instead of just being able to throw things in the wash "whenever," I now have a schedule.  Now, I know for some people they have a 'wash day' anyway, but this is all new to me.  I always tried to have a wash day on the farm, but it just never worked out...I just threw them in the machine whenever needed.  I'm still always behind on the laundry, but at least now I can blame it on someone else.

I serve mostly as a staff assistant to the director here.  We have a weekly staff meeting with her, the chairman of the board, my dh and one other volunteer that lives on the property.  At that time, we talk about the families living here, discuss how we can work to meet their needs (if they want us to) and talk about other business.

One of the main focuses for me has been re-vamping our food bank.  The food bank is only open for a couple of hours every week, but there was alot of congestion and we never had time to really sit down and "minister" to the families coming in for food.  The Lord just sorta stirred me and said, "I want you to feed them physically and spiritually, so slow things down!"  And that's what we did!  We changed the "system" and now spend at least 5-10  minutes with families so we can pray with them and see what other needs we can meet as a ministry.  It's been awesome to see the Lord work this all out for people...and He just gets bigger and BIGGER to us every day.

Here's the kinda thing we see most often though:

Someone will call us and say, "I've got this bunk bed set we want to donate,...so do y'all need a it?"  We think..."no...we really don't NEED it, but hey...why not?" and we take the bunk bed set. The next day we'll get a call from someone saying, "I know y'all don't offer furniture, but we could really use a set of bunk beds...would you know someone who has a set?"    He just always knows what's coming, and prepares us for it. This sort of thing happens all the time. 

Today I looked at the food bank and realized we only had about 8 boxes of food, and didn't know where the food would be coming from for the next few weeks...it was all gone!  But before we left today, there had been two truckloads of food donated; one from the boy scouts and one from another fundraising event, that we weren't expecting.  Woo, Hoo!!

It's so exciting to be a part of God's moving in the lives of so many people.  Today, one of the ladies who came in was quiet and didn't seem to want to share much with me about her situation.  I know people may not want to "open up" with me, and I usually don't push them to do so.  But the Lord was insistent...He wanted me to ask her, "what else?"  And when I finally asked the third time, she spilled it;  she had just been diagnosed with cancer, has 4 children to support on her own, and a grandbaby...and she was terrified.  I just wept with her, prayed with her, and promised her that He loved her and wanted to be as big in her life as she would allow Him to be.

What about the kids?

In the midst of all of the moving, school started for us.  The 12yod with sn is still using a reading program on our computer and gets a tutoring every week from a teacher of the curriculum.  I've really begun to be concerned about how hard it will be for her to "catch up" if she doesn't start progressing more with her reading.  She's quick in most other areas, but so much of the learning I received, I did so b/c I could read...and she just isn't doing a lot of that yet.   I'm even considering tapping into the local school system and seeing if she can get some help from the special needs coordinator.  She's a sweet Christian woman who volunteers here regularly, and I know she'd be helpful.  But, I'm afraid to approach her about it.  Praying that one through.

My 14yos is taking a world view course that I co-op to the other hser's in our homeschool group.  It's worth three credits, so it's about all he has time to do right now.  He's such a pill lately, too.  Just very angry all the time.  He's going to youth group every week, and likes it.  He's even going to the locam MBY conference in OK with them, but he's just got such a stinky attitude. And everything is such a battle...homework, chores, what he wears, where he goes.  And I'm used to a little defiance,  but lately....

I'm having him evaluated by the county learning center to determine whether or not he's up to speed in the local high school's subjects, just in case he starts to show me some maturity and wants to go out for sports with our small town high school.  He's got some tremendous God-given abilities, and I know he's aching to use them.  Praying about that decision, too.

God' is really giving me some peace about him, though.  My fear and faith collide daily with this kid...and God is reminding me how powerful He really is.  (By the way, if you haven't seen Facing the Giants, you HAVE to go see it!)

The 8yos is a jewel.  He's definitely growing through his SID, and learning how to rationalize his feeling a bit.  That's a big step, too.   Maintaining control of his giggling while one of the other kids gets in trouble, and not launching himself to the floor when he makes a writing mistake, are big, BIG strides for him. 

So...now what?

I'm still working just a few hours a day with my business.  I'm so glad it's as flexible as it is...it allows me to skip days altogether (even weeks altogether) but still make the money I need to allow me to stay home.  I'm only putting in about about 3 hours a day, and only a few days a week.  But it's enough to keep the checks coming.

I'm going to work harder at getting this weight off.  I'm using www.vfl.com for now, but I'm also going to use the food plan I got months ago from the Six Week Body Makeover from TV.  That was the most balanced plan, and the exercises he recommends were easy to work into my day, too.  I'm so ready!!

We're going on a "Violence Fast" around here for a few weeks, too.  I had a pretty rough conversation with my oldest son about some people he "didn't like" and he said some pretty violent things about them.  He later said he didn't really mean it, and he was tired and angry, but it got me to thinking...maybe we need a "breather."  So, we're not allowing some shows and movies, games and such, for a spell.  Instead, we'll check out some comedies, read more together, and try to in-put some sweetness into our days.

Dh works days now, so he's home in the evening and we love it!  Now if I could just get a little more organized with meal planning, so that food's ready, even though I might be working.  Committed to working on that one!

And of course, we'll keep being a part of this community, seeing God do amazing things with hurting people. 

Book recommendation:

Check out Under the Overpass by Michael Jankowski (I think that's his last name).  I saw him speak at a banquet last night.  He spent six months living as a homeless person in several major cities in the U.S.  What he discovered about the church will alarm and convict you.

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Jul. 10, 2006 - This will be a short entry...BIG NEWS!

We've decided to move into an apartment ministry in our little town.  We've been working there as volunteers for several months, so when a staff apartment became available they asked us to take it.  We live there practically rent free, no utilities to pay, and can concentrate on paying down what little bit of debt we have.  PLUS, we'll be able to work closely with those living in the complex that we really feel called to  minister to.  I hate leaving our wonderful farm, but if plans go as we anticipate, we'll be able to actually start shopping for a country place to buy in a year or so.  That is a very good thing!!  Plus, we really feel like the Lord wants us working in this place for a time.

Keep us in your prayers,...I'm just swamped with stuff to do.

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Jun. 17, 2006 - Been Two Weeks, and I'm still PUMPED!

It's been two weeks since I returned from the homeschool conference and I'm still so excited about getting the new school year started.  Now, normally, I school all year long.  But, because I'll be starting so many new things with my high schooler, I'm going to take the summer off (for the most part) and work on getting ready for the fall.  Of course, my 12yod will keep doing her reading lessons, and I'll keep doing my 7yos's reading with him, but other than that and fun reading, we're going to be "off" for the summer. 

Here's what I'm planning for my high schooler this fall:

• Daily Bible reading - He's using a Max Lucado study for youth right now
• Starting Points (which I'm co-oping to all the hs group's high schoolers, and this will probably take most of the year.)
• Algebra - using VideoText this year
• Mystery of History (which I'm doing with all the kids daily, and includes Scripture Memory work)
• Apologia Science - Biology (which I'm pretty sure will take us two years to do, but he might surprise me)
• Weekly Creative Writing with "Writing Down the Days."
• He may be taking a CW course that one of the mom's in our group is planning, but it would only take 6-9 weeks.

For my special needs 12yodd:

• Daily Devotions and scripture memory
• Daily Reading lessons with ExpressWays to Reading, and a weekly phone visit with her tutor
• Five In A Row /Beyond FIAR - She's never been able to enjoy this as much as my oldest did, b/c she's not been able to read.  Now, I think she'll really enjoy reading the books with me.  We'll be alternating these every other week.-covering Social Studies, Language Arts, Science, Applied Math and Art.
• Daily Handwriting practice (cursive) from her reading program
• Memorizing her math drills
• M.O.H. with the other two kids
• Lots of reading with Mom!

For my 7yos, 2nd grade this year:

• Daily Devotions and scripture memory
• Finishing Reading Made Easy - which we might do before fall starts
• FIAR/Beyond FIAR - Flexible lesson plan with him b/c of his S.I.D. - if it's a good day, he'll be joining my 12yod.
• Daily handwriting practice from RME
• Making Math Meaningful - level 2
• M.O.H. with the other two kids
• P.E. once a week

Now, I've always been somewhat critical of doing "too much" and have always wanted my kids to have more of a relaxed schedule, so we'll probably play alot of this by ear. PLUS, I'm going to do some daily work with "Manners, Please," a book I got from Pumpkin Seed Press at the convention.

The other big thing that I feel the Lord leading us to work on is honor; not just showing honor to others, but genuinely thinking more of others than ourselves.  Praying a great deal about that one.

Well, so far, that's where I'm at with school in the fall.  Things may change, but I'm very excited to get started.  Back to the lesson planning! 

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Jun. 5, 2006 - Gotta Love Those Homeschool Conventions!

This past weekend, my dh and I were able to go to the homeschool convention  in Wichita.  Dr. Jeff Meyers was one of the key note speakers, as was Shelly Noonan.  I hadn't listened to either of them before, and was just so blessed by their sessions.  Here are just a few things that I gleaned from those times.

I'm homeschooling my children, not because I want to provide the highest quality education they can possibly get, but because we feel called by God to teach, train and coach Godly leaders for the future; that they might be a blessing to all nations of the earth.  (Wow!) 

And if our children never learn Trigonometry or win Geography Bees, we must do these four things:

1. We want to make sure our children understand the times in which they live. ( I Chronicles - the tribe of Isachar - gained influence b/c they understood the times and what they were to do.)
2. Our children need to know their God-given identity.  - Not being less like themselves and more like someone else.  But focusing on being everything God designed them to be.
3. Learn how to communicate the truth with confidence and in the spirit of grace.  Developing the skills needed to communicate effectively.
4. Our children need to know how to lead - effecting change.

Now this may not be the vision of all homeschoolers, but I really believe that these things are what the Lord is calling us to do in our school. And I am praying that the Lord would help us accomplish these tasks.

Well, this changes my plans for teaching this fall.  I'm so excited to get started!  We'll be doing Bible history coupled with World History, a catechism course for younger kids, weekly Bible memory work, Develop a Christian Worldview (an over arching approach to understanding God, the world, and man's relationship to God and the world...so that we answer these questions from God' perspecitve:  

• Where did I come from?
• How should I live my life?
• What is the purpos of my life?
• Where am I going? )

and what that means for us as a family, and doing lots of reading together. 

Now, we did spend some money on an Algebra program for my high schooler, too...but it's short lessons...maybe 15 minutes a day produced by VideoText. I think my freshman will really like it.  So we are doing some necessary academics.  But, I'm not worrying about getting it "done."

I also learned a great deal from Shelly Noonan about our need for good manners.  Now, believe me...this is not something that I've spent much time on as I've raised my kids.  I have always wanted them to just "be comfortable" at home.  However, what I've discovered is, that manners actually tell someone how you feel about them.  Now, you  may not want your manners to reveal that, but they really do. 

So, we're going to talk a great deal about manners and honoring one another.  I don't plan on becoming a drill sergeant.  But I do plan on making sure that my kids see how much I care for them through MY OWN manners toward them.

Oh, and I love the definition of honor that I got from one of the JM workshops, too.  It's actually from a book I bought called, Say Goodby to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes...in you and your kids! by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller.  

• Honor - To treat someone as special,  doing more than what's expected, having a good attitude.

So, when the Bible talks about showing honor to others, that's a great way to explain it to our kids.  My dh and I have decided to really put this into practice in our own home.  In fact, I'm trusting God to really speak to my teenage son as we seek way to honor him, show him how special he is, and have a good attitude.

I'll come back and post more soon.  Perhaps even a list of things we've invested in to start our year off with a bang!

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May. 17, 2006 - Me and my big MOUTH!!

Well, I opened my mouth and complained just a little about the "bad day" I was having...and wouldn't you know it?  It got much worse.  What was I thinking??

I have read dozens of books on raising kids, I've listened to dozens of speakers explain how the old "teen's are a nightmare" addage, was just that; an addage, and that the teen years can be great times for your family.  

Well, my teenager is driving me absolutely NUTS!!   He has a smart-alec comment for everything.  He talks back to me as if I were one of his "peers," and not like I'm a parent at all.   He calls me a liar if I change my mind about something (and I'm talking about little things;  going to the grocery store after Wed. night church, instead of before. Huh??).  He smarts off to me while I'm in the middle of disciplining someone else. (I tell dd, "Honey, I don't mind if you snack, but just come ask first so I know what we're going to run out of."  To which, he responds, "You don't have to ask!"   I tell him not to go outside until he's done with his school work, and OOPS! What do you know??  He...ahem..."forgets."

And I only make matters worse by not sticking to our schedule and making sure I'm available for my kids when they expect me to be.  I'm a workaholic, and they know it.    I have to become better at keeping my priorities straight, and that's a MUST!

So, today...when he smarted off, I slammed something down on the flat top of my stove ...and broke the ceramic top.  I couldn't believe it!!  I just COULDN'T believe it!  And then...I cried the rest of the day  about me being such a lousey (I edited out the other word I wanted to use) mom.

I'd like to say that was the end of it...but it wasn't.  I finally had just about all I could take, so took us to McD's for a snack.  I just figured there was no use in trying to do any more work for the day.  I knew I was toast.

Oh, well...as Scarlett always said, "I'll think about that tomorrow."

Lord, help me to see them the way YOU see them...and let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be pleasing unto You, oh, Lord...my Rock and my Redeemer. Amen.

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May. 17, 2006 - Busy, busy, busy, busy....

Sometimes I wonder if anyone else lives like this!

Does anyone else wake up too late, rush around to get breakfast done, run late all day with school and work, and then worry about having time to be alone with Jesus, hubby, etc?  Okay, I'm just feeling sorry for myself...  but I'm doing it with a smile on my face. 

That's it for today...a loving rant!

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