Thank you Alaina!  Had you not posted your comment I wouldn't have known that the link wasn't working.  It was messed up because I had changed the name of my page...so here it is again.  Let me know if it still won't work.

A Woman's Journey Home

Blessings everyone!

If you would like to keep up with my journaling and news come see me at A Mother's Journey Homeward .  I will not be blogging here any longer, but will be leaving everything up for those who are interested in reading the material here .

Many MANY blessings my friends!

Our Elli~Girl is celebrating her SECOND birthday now!  I cannot help but see the Lord's grace and faithfulness each time I look into her eyes, but her birthday is an extra special time.  Elli~Girl's birthday is a time of remembering how very near the Lord is to us in such a sometimes awfully trialsome world!  Here is her story....

 It truly seems like just yesterday I was finding out in the wee hours of the night I was expecting her!  Here is her story requested by many of my online friends.  She is a major part of our testimony for the Lord.

It was about two o'clock in the morning.  I had taken several pregnancy tests in the past couple of weeks (all negative), not necessarily because I thought I was pregnant but because I was fearful that I was. 

I had only been out of the hospital, after coming very close to losing my life, two weeks.  I was still struggling to walk and couldn't see clearly.  On top of all of this our baby at this time was only 4 months old!

So at this dark hour, when the rest of the house was quiet, I took another test and it was positive.  There it was.  What I hoped was not happening was happening.  Please do not get me wrong.  I wasn't dissapointed about another life being gifted to me, although I was feeling quite inadequate in this moment to have another baby so soon.  The main reason I was fighting this was because of the many drugs I had been on during and after my illness. 

I had had a pregnancy test done in the doctor's office some time before this night and since it was negative my doctor okayed me continuing with my medications for treatment of my illness.  I was terrified now that by doing so my baby had been harmed.  I really wrestled with God at this time asking Him a lot of Why's and telling Him this didn't make any sense at all.  I knew He would never give me more than I could handle and that He had my in the palm of His hand but....well there were a lot of buts....

By the time I crawled into bed I had resolved the issue with the Lord, trusting Him to care for it all.  My sleepy husband rolled over and asked me if everything was all right.  I told him I didn't know but that we were going to be blessed again in 7 more months.  He wrapped his arms around me and said, "we can do this honey".  And we both went to sleep.

The pregnancy was very hard.  For the next 4 months I was so sick I could hardly stand upright.  I spent even the nighttime hours up sick.  I was getting vitamin shots as part of the treatment of my "morning" sickness and by the time my doctor stepped in and decided it was time to put a stop to it the Lord took it away Himself. 

I had about a month of feeling really great.  Things were looking up and I was getting excited about a new addition to our family.  Things went downhill again as I started to labor prematurely.  I was bleeding off and on and started to fear again for the baby's life.  I was on bedrest off and on and we felt great relief when we got to 37 weeks when we didn't have to worry quite as much any more.

In my 37th week my labor really picked up and after four days of it I was exhausted.  It was off and on and wasn't progressing at all.  I went to see my midwife and she told us the baby had turned breech.  She attempted to turn the baby but to no avail.  We saw a professional who specializes in turning breech babies still to no avail.  After much prayer we knew we needed to get to a hospital.

It was there in the hospital that we were left with the decision to try a normal birth with the baby being breech or to opt for a cesarean.  I cannot explain what I felt in my spirit.  Never in a million years would I have gone for a cesarean unless I was told it was life and death.  Still, I felt that is the choice we needed to make.

I was taken in for the cesarean and there our daughter was born into this world, lifeless and blue.  Her shoulders had gotten hung up and it was difficult for the doctors to get her out.  I kept asking why I couldn't hear her crying but the staff kept telling me everything would be all right.  Finally I heard her faint cry and later learned she had to be recussitated.

And what of the decision we made to have a cesarean.  God knew that it was a matter of life and death.  Our daughter had one foot in the birth canal and the other foot up by her head.  Her cord was presenting and down under her one foot.  When my water would have broken the cord would have flushed, leaving her little chance of survival.

When we named her we named her a name meaning God is Gracious.  For in those dark night hours when I was so afraid of the future ahead of me God held me.  He held our baby and He proved Himself Gracious!  I only have praise on my lips!

Elli dancing her way through life....

Life is, more often than not, hard.  It is full of uncertainties, trials, frustrations and raging storms.  We often find ourselves on our knees, over and over again, asking the Lord either to deliver us, or to help us whether such storms.  The one sure thing we do have, as believers in Christ, is in knowing that God is God...He can be trusted....and He is faithful to bring unimaginable beauty out of the most terrible storms.

This is one reason I have always found a rainbow to be so profound...so very special!  I just LOVE a rainbow!   To me, it just shows the significance of what beauty the Lord can bring out of a storm...even the storms of life.

My dh took me out on a date tonight and on our way home we saw a very short piece of a rainbow. I told him how I wished we could see the whole thing and wished we could take a pic. I told him I wished the children could see it. When we got home, the children all came rushing to meet us with the camera...to show us pics they took of a goregous rainbow in our front yard! I was so pleased. The Lord is so good.

The extreme, devastating weather of late has inspired me to do a unit study on tornados and tornado safety with the children this week.  Before I share, though, I ask that you please remember those who are hurting because of the Friday night storm in Greensburg, Kansas.  We are thinking of them and praying for them!  We appreciate the prayers as well...the storms aren't wanting to let up.

Tordnados are nothing new to us where we live.  They are a part of life this time of year and really through the summer and fall, as well.  We are so thankful to the Lord for the ability to seek shelter when we are at risk!

  We actually did a fun project today, to help explain how a tornado forms and what it looks like.  Daddy was home and made a fun guest speaker! 

Here is our "tornado in a jar":

To make your own:

Fill a mason jar 3/4 full of water, then add 1 tsp. of clear liquid soap and 1 tsp. vinegar.  Shake the jar to mix the ingredients then take a butter knife and stir quickly until you see the tornado forming.  Here is a fun place to teach your children more about the weather!

We are getting hit storm after storm here.  The following three pics are of a storm that came this afternoon.  We had some pretty heavy rainfall and flooding with this one....

These SLC's (scarey looking clouds) came rolling in later this evening and brought some more heavy rains and winds.As I type the weather is stormy, but the only real threat will probably be to my computer, so I best get off now.  Have a blessed school week!

It is feeling so good to get order back into my house!  Yesterday the Lord blessed me with some of the energy I needed to get the baby room in order.  I had moved our 2 year old out a few weeks ago and was wanting to move the baby in.  It was very girly, with butterlies, pinks and purples.  The wall is painted purple, but I was not up to painting so I tried to think of a way I could make it look "little boy like".  I dug out our blue jean teddy bear stuff and went to work cleaning and organizing.  This is the end result, nothing fancy, but I sure am pleased.....

Looks like I am not the only one who is pleased! :0)

My day yesterday ended like many other days of late.  I laid in bed, the house dark and quiet, but my soul feeling weary and full of turmoil.  My heart began to wrestle, once again, with my God...but before I was to far into my why’s, but how’s, when’s and so on, I felt it was time to give it all up....time to surrender where I was at and give it to God.  I asked the Lord to forgive me for wrestling so greatly with Him, and for having so little faith in His power lately.  I have been reading the story of George Muller with the children in the evenings.  I asked the Lord to forgive my little faith and to grow in me a heart of faith, as that of George Muller.  I began my journey of faith in trusting Him in all things concerning me (and my precious husband).  

My first prayer of faith was praying, and trusting, that He would provide my sleep deprived, physical being with rest.  Not long this prayer, my sick, fitful babies settled into peaceful slumber, as did I.  When I awoke this morning I not only realized that I felt rested, but that life wasn’t looking quite as dark as the so many days before.  

In the night, I had dream.  I was visiting with a friend (a fellow momys :) ).  She asked when we would travel to see her and her husband.  I told her in these exact words, “When this overwhelming mound of medical bills are paid, the burden of our home loss is lifted and when the Lord provides a vehicle that we can all fit into...OH, AND the extra money to travel!  THEN we will come visit you.”  She put her hand on mine and said, “Then start praying and expect He will answer.”  I told my husband this morning that when God answers these requests one of the first things we must do is go and see this family!  He agreed!

My day today isn’t so different, but my perspective is.  I am still caring for 7 very sick, grouchy children, the house is still a mess and the reality that I am unable to do it all looms before me BUT God is my God and HE is on the throne!  

Just an hour ago He blessed me with a moment to quickly read my devotional (Streams in the Valley).  Today’s was as follows:

“And it shall come to pass that whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be delivered.” Joel 2:32

Why do not I call on His name?  Why do I run to this neighbor and that when God is so near and will hear my faintest call?  Why do I sit down and devise schemes and invent plans?  Why not at once roll myself and my burden upon the Lord?

Straightforward is the best runner.  Why do not I run at once to the living God?  In vain shall I look for deliverance anywhere else, but with God I shall find it!  For here I havce His royal SHALL to make it sure.

I need not ask whether I may call on Him, or not, for that word, “Whosoever” is a very wide and comprehensive one.  Whosoever means ME, for it means anybody and everybody who calls upon God.  I will therefore follow the leading of the text, and at ONCE call upon the glorious Lord who has made so large a promise.

My case is urgent, and I do not see how I am to be delivered, but this is NO BUSINESS of mine!  He who makes a promise will find ways and means of keeping it.  It is mine to obey His commands, it is not mine to direct His counsels.  I am His servant, not His solicitor.  I call upon Him and He WILL deliver!~C.H. Spurgeon

Our deliverer is on the way!

I couldn’t help but read on to tomorrow’s devotional!  Praise the Lord, His power CAN be trusted in our lives!

“He maketh sore, and bindeth up: He woundeth and His hands make whole.” Job 5:18

As we pass beneath the hills which have been shaken by the earthquake and torn by convulsion, we find that periods of perfect repose succeed those of destruction!  The pools of calm water like clear beneath their fallen rocks, the water lilies gleam, and the reeds whisper among the shadows; the village rises again over the forgotten graves, and its church tower, white through the storm twilight, proclaims a renewed appeal to His protection “in whose hand are all the corners of the the earth, and the strength of the hills in His also.”

I pray someone out there is blessed!

 I only have a moment to write just now.  My house is a mess and the kids are pretty sick with this junk going around.  I need to try to gather up some energy, get the house in order, bathe my kiddos and get them tucked into fresh, cozy linens early tonight.  I promise I will be back soon.  Thank you to those who have kept me in your thoughts and for the sweet comments left!

 I will leave you with some thoughts I wrote earlier this week.  Blessings!

A couple of days ago Joshua, now three years old, came to me and said, “Mama, I want to go home”.  Being wrapped up in the normal busyness of my day, I patted him on the head gently and replied, “Honey, you are home”, to which he replied, “No, my home is with God.”  It is just like God to use a child to bring us to our knees.  I have been so tired and so weary of late and God used my little boy to remind me that this is all fleeting.  It isn’t my real home.  One day the work will be through and I will be with him in glory forever!!  It gives me a new energy to refocus and gain back that vision.  The Word of God says those without a vision will parish.  How easily we can begin to wither away inside when we lose sight of THE vision...our TRUE future in Christ! 

Today was a day that took me back in time!  Last night I had this day all figured out (I should no better than that!).  The night ended up being a long night with the tiny one.  My husband was home and turned the fan on high so I could sleep while the baby slept this morning.  When I awoke I learned of the plans for the day and they were not at all like the plans I had made out J.  The children eagerly informed me that they were going to be going with their daddy to an auction.  Their eyes were wide with delight at such an adventure so I made up my mind my plans could still be carried out on my own.  Around 10:30am my husband left with our five oldest children, leaving me with the 1 year old and 6 week old.  I needed to run some errands in town and so I proceeded to get ready to go about my day.  I wasn’t able to do so very quickly, though, as the 1 year old hugged my leg and the baby fussed, wondering where his fan club had suddenly gone!  Eventually, I DID get out the door and made my way to town with the two of them secured in their car seats.  After running my errands I decided to swing by the auction to give my husband the cell phone.  I wondered if the children might like to come home with me…my 2 year old was the only taker.  SO, I headed the rest of the way home now with a 2 year old, a 1 year old and a 6 week old J.  When I got home I settled the toddlers in at the table for their lunch and then nursed the baby.  When he was done nursing and they were finished up eating, I prepared them all for naps.  By the time I got them all settled in for naptime I was spent and laid down for a nap myself!  As I laid there I remembered a time only THREE years ago when I was the mother of just 3 small children.  At that time, I don’t think I really realized how much work I was doing each and every day.  I think when a young mama is in that stage of life, she just pushes through it and it never crosses her mind that someday it really will be different.  Someday these little people will become school age children that will be a HUGE asset in the home and it’s management.  The physical work of caring for the things of the home will become easier and easier and caring for little bitty ones becomes more and more fun.  I missed my older children so much today…not only their physical help of assisting with meals, house clean up, baby loving and such, but I missed their companionship.  I LOVE having these precious people in my home to visit with!  Yes, today I went back in time in my life…and I did find myself greatly missing those moments, that phase of life.  It is gone and I can never REALLY go back there again.  I find myself cherishing the memory, though, because now I know as I look back, that it was truly the Lord’s strength that carried me through each day.  He is faithful to His promise, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!”.  He was my strength then.  He is my strength now.

Spring has sprung on this old farm and the activity is endless.  Winter is being packed away for another year, and the breeze that always reminds me of my grandmother is blowing through every curtain in this home.  We are delighted to see new birds visiting the feeder on our front deck.  The children try to figure out what they are, while our kitty looks out the window longingly, wishing she could go play with them. J

 This is the time of year when I seem to notice, all in a sudden, how much each of my children has grown!  My first born son is no longer all little boy, for there is now a young man trying to birth from him.  He struggles between the two, and so I hope my telling him how very proud of him I am helps with this change….this new growth.  He has farm blood through and through!  He loves everything about running this farm and enjoys listening to all the farm conversation.

 My oldest daughter never ceases to amaze me!  March 23^rd it will be THREE years since she walked off of that airplane and joined our family!  There is no denying there is a young woman growing in my home.  She loves the Lord so very much.  She has been taking it upon herself to memorize scriptures, other than the ones we are memorizing as a family.  This example has led her younger siblings to do the same.  If the day here has gone well, then my husband and I are both much obliged in allowing them to sit up a bit longer in the evening to read their Bibles while snuggled in their beds. 

 My 7 year old daughter is a delight to my soul!  She loves everything about keeping the home and is so eager to help me.  Of course, she has her “moments” J but for the most part she is usually pleading with me to allow her to do a meal or care for the baby and toddlers.  She loves to tell her daddy when he arrives for dinner time that she prepared something for him ALL by herself! 

 My 5 year old is STILL the life of this household!  He is our little cowboy and is always smiling and always FULL of energy, things will NEVER be dull with him around.  He is our little giver.  He LOVES to give to others.  Each Sunday he comes to church with his coins and gives them like he is giving the world….and he is, because it is his heart he is giving from!  We have all learned to take more time to receive his “little” gifts.  We realized how hurt his little heart would become when we were just too busy to stop and accept his offerings to us.  I never want to squelch that desire in him to give of him self.

 My 2 year old will be 3 in a few weeks!  WOW, where has the time gone!?  He amazes us with his words and understanding.  He is such a little sweetheart.  I just love how thoughtful one so little can be.  He will bring me a glass of ice water (sploshing all the way! J ), offer me a hug, “read” me a story.  He and his 1 (almost 2) year old sister are INSEPARABLE!  When he leaves to “farm” with daddy she is quite unsure of what to do with herself.

 Speaking of that little 1 (almost 2) year old.  She is our FIRECRACKER!  Just when a family thinks things are quite interesting enough in their home, God adds a whole new dimension!  I LOVE IT!  She, well, as my own mother says, “is a spitting image of her mother”.  I am thinking, though, with the right training we might possibly keep her from some of the same mistakes I have made along the way J.  We call her Elli sometimes.  Little Elli is quite loved and adored here and BOY does she know it!  I literally thank Jesus every day for this little girl.  I did ask the Lord what He was doing when I found out I was pregnant with her.  Those of you who know my blog, know the story.  If you are new, feel free to read it here at Our Miracle Baby.  “Jesus, I thank you AGAIN for working all things according to YOUR will, even when we fight to understand!”

 Our precious tiny one is almost 6 weeks old now.  I am already looking at his newborn pictures wondering where that little baby went!?  He is getting so chubby and smiling all the time.  He wants for nothing in this home.  There is always someone to hold him, kiss him, cuddle him, love him!  I have to steal away to my room to get quiet moments alone with him J.  I am soaking in every moment of this time with our new baby.  I miss feeling him kicking within me, but I am loving having him in my arms!

 As I said, the farm is a bustle of activity now.  The men are busy preparing fields.  My husband hopes they can plant the corn soon.  We do need rain and keep praying for it to fall.  My son was feeling frustrated that it wasn’t raining and I reminded him that we must trust the Lord and His will…again, even when it doesn’t make sense to us.  So this is the season that we transition from daddy being home a lot to being gone more often.  He has a good cell phone now so we are enjoying being able to call him whenever we get to missing him too badly.  Thankfully he is never too far away either.

 I am keeping busy with all the things of the home and still finding much joy in it!  I cannot deny that I went through a time of feeling greatly overwhelmed a few weeks ago.  I emmursed myself in scripture and prayer and the Lord brought me through it.  I worked out a better system for managing our home and things are going much better now.  I have also started a notebook and record scriptures that I can look back on when I am feeling overwhelmed.  It is of Satan, for God is a God of peace.  If I can remember that thoughts of “I am so overhwhelmed” “There is no way I can do all of this” “I am inadequate” are ALL lies.  Recording scripture has helped me to take captivity of such thoughts (as in 2 Corinthians 10:5) and combat them with the TRUTH! 

 I have received so many questions from others that I promise I will take time to answer in bits and pieces.  I have them set aside and will get to them J.  For now, though, I must get back to the things of my home.  I have a room that desperately needs some order and some bread ingredients waiting to be thrown together for our daily bread tomorrow J.

 Blessings to all!

I do feel so much joy and am treasuring every moment of these days that are quickly passing!  I love being settled in here at home with a new little life and my other precious children.  My heart is full of praises to my Heavenly Father!  He has truly sustained me through the physical trials I have had since the birth of our son and has given me much peaceful rest in Him and His promises!

I haven't been around to blog, but I cannot apologize for that.  I rarely ever sit at the computer, but my heart feels best with what I am doing, caring for the needs of 8 other lives .  Right now our tiny one and two little toddlers are fast asleep.  The older children are enjoying some outdoor time in this spring like weather!  They have been SO longing to run around outside!  The animals are loving it too, as they are getting LOTS of attention!

My 7 year old and I took Math into the kitchen this morning.  We discussed fractions while baking a delicious bread recipe!  It is the 7 Grain Wheat Bread that is found in Marmee Dear's Bread Basket Cookbook.  It turned out absolutely DELICIOUS and one of these lovely loaves has already been devoured!  The children are now taking turns each day helping me make the bread.  When it is their turn, they get to help grind the grain, add all of the ingredients and THEN they get a portion of the dough to cut out their own shapes and loaves.  They all get so excited about having their own bread day now!

I must go, but before I do I wanted to include something I wrote after the birth of our little son.  It is copyrighted and has already been used for a magazine, so if you wish to use it please contact me.  I hope it blesses someone out there and makes everyone want to scoop up their precious blessings for one more extra hug and "I LOVE YOU"!

THE AROMA OF HEAVEN

There are many wonderful aromas in this life, but none so delightful as this one!  No, it’s not the smell of freshly baked bread or of supper just coming out of the oven.  It isn’t the delectable smell of vanilla or even of Christmas coating each corner of the home. 

This aroma is straight from the Lord….something that gives us a small taste of the atmosphere of Heaven!  When it enters our lives, time seems to stand still, if but for a moment.  The home is suddenly filled with awe and wonder.  It is so rich, those experiencing it, just drink it in!  It brings each family member closer together and closer to the heart of God.  It makes this heavy life seem so much brighter and lighter.

OH!  The precious aroma of NEW LIFE!  That tiny little life that smells so much of the gentle tough of God!  Yes, as I snuggle this new life close to me, I can close my eyes and almost FEEL…SMELL the Almighty Father’s hands on my face.  I close my eyes and in these tender, fleeting moments, Heaven no longer seems so far away. 

Cleaning and Scrubbing can wait ‘til tomorrow

For babies grow up, I’ve learned to my sorrow

So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep

I am rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep!

 I am sorry it has taken so long to update my blog and let you know of the precious arrival of another son!  I became sick quickly after with what we believe was the beginning of a uterine infection.  For some reason I am prone to them, but thankfully we got this one in the beginning stages and after several rounds of antibiotics I am finally feeling like I will live J.

 We have chosen not to share the name, as I have been having some security issues online.  He was born on Monday, came very quickly and was 9 pounds.  God answered our prayers for deliverance, mercy and grace so intricately!  The birth went beautifully and we are settled in at home.  Each and every one of us are thoroughly enjoying the wonderful scent of a newborn and cherishing these days that pass oh so quickly!

Thank you to all of you who have encouraged me and prayed for us all!

I am sorry it has been so long since I have written.  I appreciate the emails and sweet comments.  It is so nice to know others are praying and thinking of us over here!  Saturday through Tuesday were very difficult days for me.  I was having a LOT of labor type stuff, contracting a lot with little progress and getting absolutely NO sleep.  I was exhausted and greatly discouraged!  I went back in yesterday and my midwife said I still haven't progressed much at all.  Still sitting at 2 cm.  The Lord did something in my heart and spirit though.  I gave it all over to Him and am feeling such wonderful peace now!  My children and I have been focusing on Isaiah 55:8~9 today.  "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts."  We can take SO much comfort in this scripture alone!

So today I have been keeping busy, enjoying the energy that I have.  We have baked 6 loaves of bread and made a wonderful pot of broccoli cheese soup.  I have filed our school papers and began new lesson plans.  I am going to work on some lesson plans for learning the 50 states and capitols this afternoon.

My heart was delighted and so full this morning as I watched my girls moving happily around the kitchen.  I found myself wondering why so many would find this role in life unfulfilling and dull.  There is so much to do and every bit of it is so important!  God really was thinking of us when He designed us so intricately!  There is wonderful joy that comes in serving Him and following His will, even when there are so many others out there that think it is crazy!

I pray that all who read are blessed this day and feel the Lord's comfort, joy and peace!  I will update again once the baby arrives...for now I am going to spend time with the children and some more last minute projects

The following are parts of a post I left on a message board I am a part of.

"Thank you. Our night was a bit rough, but thanks to my dh I was able to sleep really late. My dd is doing so well now! She has struggled with some dizziness and still remembers nothing of the accident. Her first memories are on the ambulance ride to the city. She was even feeling well enough to write me a sweet and precious letter last night .

I still want to share her story and some miraculous things that the Lord did that even had doctors/nurses baffled! For now, though, I need a good shower and need to pour my time and energy into loving my littles. This really shook up our family and everyone is very needy right now.

Baby seems to be doing really well. I am in no hurry to go have the baby, as we are now in the middle of a snow storm AND my body is VERY soar from all the tension and bending over on the ice for so long. I am thankful that the contractions eased up and I can have a bit of a repreave before the big day. I was also finally able to just collapse on my dh and have a good cry last night for the first time since this all began. That felt so good to do!

I so appreciate the love, support and prayers.

Many blessings and love to you all!
Tina

The following is a post I made on my forum, Calling His Daughters Home.  Monday and Tuesday were very difficult days for me.  As I have mentioned before, in the weeks before birth I do ALOT of contracting and cramping.  It wears me out and I was very weary.  God, once again, carried me through and I am feeling MUCH better today!

"Thank you so much for the thoughts, prayers and even encouraging emails sent my way! Today has been MUCH better! I have a bit more energy and am getting a few more things done. I saw my midwife yesterday and baby's head is WAY down. She will "check" me at my next appt., which is the 25th. I was encouraged when she told me that baby is not a big baby. This is one of the reasons I begin to struggle with anxiety in the end. I have had very big babies, my biggest being 10~1/2 pounds at 10 days early. My first baby was 10 pounds. The births of my bigger babies were very difficult births.  My last baby, however, was 7 and 1/2 pounds at 37.5 weeks, so I know there is hope . Anyhow, the baby doesn't feel too big to me either and so that was very comforting to me, especially being my first natural birth after a cesarean!  The baby has also rolled from sunny side up to a side position, so I really don't think it will be too difficult to get the baby in the right position for birth.
Again, I appreciate the prayers so much. The last days of anticipating a new arrival can be so long. It is certainly a time when the Father keeps calling me back to His heart and to His PERFECT will.
Many blessings and love! "

Yesterday it was 60 degrees and today we have an ice storm moving in!  We are relieved that we are WAY more prepared than the last time we were hit with a terrible ice storm.  It was two years ago and our power was out for 8 days.  Having little children, we had no choice but to leave our home during that time.  We were so blessed by a family in our church that took us in and kept us fed and warm!  Now this time, in our new home, we are in more of a position to help others if the need arises.  We are keeping warm by our corn burning fire!

It has been such a lovely morning to sit and read with the children.  We read several lessons in our Science and History books and then joined in the kitchen for a Science experiment.  The wonderful thing about homeschooling is even the littles can get involved and learn what we are learning!  My five year old was SO intrigued with today’s lessons!  The toddlers showed great interest as well, but it was more the mess they were interested in J.   My husband has been busy out in the cold this morning.  He has actually been very busy since arriving home from his trip yesterday, trying to prepare for the storm.  He went to the city for me last night and stocked up on groceries and other needed items.  We now have oil for our lamps and all the staples for our meals.  This morning he has been seeing to it that our animals are all safe and warm.  He is also gathering fuel for the generator and feeding tank, milk at the nearby dairy farm and corn for the stove.  I am so thankful for all the work he is doing!  I wanted to bundle up and go help him.  He thought that was a crazy idea…a pregnant woman out on the ice!  I didn’t even think of that, but the more I thought of it that could be a catastrophe waiting to happen….slipping on ice and going into labor in an ice storm….hmmmm…no thanks!  When he gets in we will all settle in for the storm.  I nested yesterday and feel great today, so the house is in order.  We still have a HUGE pile of laundry to fold and put away and bathrooms to scrub, but once that is all done we will probably play games, eat popcorn and be thankful for a place to stay warm.  We always use these times, as well, to pray for those who are less fortunate…those who may be cold or hungry. L  We ask for the Lord to make any needs we can help with known to us.

I have been enjoying abundant energy these past couple of days and my husband is getting a bit worried.  He is telling me to “hang in there” until the storm passes and the roads are safe. J  I really do not feel like I will go into labor.  The contracting and cramping has eased up.  My only discomfort is the pressure I am feeling since the baby has dropped.  I have never had a baby drop before I am actually in active labor, so this is a new one for me!  My bones are terribly sore and rolling over in bed last night was excruciating!  Night time is also when the intense contractions start kicking in…..this has ALWAYS happened to me.  I am very thankful that the Lord has always given me clear signs when “it is time”, so I don’t worry too much about the fake ones.  In face, I am thankful for them because they are productive and make certain stages of my labor shorter.  I really don’t ever remember feeling so content in the last days of pregnancy, but this time I really am.  I am usually pretty miserable, to be honest!  I have tried to just cherish this time and not be in a such a huge rush.  I am still enjoying feeling this little life within me, though....I really AM excited to meet the new life God has created! 

Well, it is time to feed my hungry crew lunch!  Many blessings to all!

It is a big deal for our family when there is any separation, for any amount of time.  We are use to the busy hours of harvest time in it's seasons, but still, even then, there is at least a moment for a hug, a kiss or an "I Love You".  Yesterday morning my husband left very early, with our oldest son, for a trip to Nebraska.  He had some machinery that he needed to pick up before this baby comes.  It was an all day drive for them, so they stayed the night and drove back home today.  Here is the scene your eyes would behold had you been here upon their arrival.....

The children and I are spread all over the house.  Mama is in official nesting mode, so everyone is pitching in.  The music is playing.  The toddlers are "helping" Mama organizing a bathroom cabinet.  The other children are each working on their own special cleaning project.  All of a sudden Mama hears the sound of a semi truck and goes to the front window.  She waits and finally she sees what she is hoping for!  Daddy and "Bubba" have arrived, and WAY before they are expected to!  They couldn''t sleep well, just wanted to get home so left in the very early morning hours for home.  The toddlers faces are full of glee and delight at the sight themselves, but the older children haven't heard what we have heard or seen what we have seen.  Suddenly a HUGE horn blasts and it is like a heard of elephants running through the house!  "DADDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"

At this point there is no saying anything to anyone as they are fleeing out the front door and running down the sidewalk to greet their "Big Boys".  My oldest daughter runs to her Bubba and embraces him like she hasn't seen him in AGES!  Her eyes are full of tears and she says, "Oh how I missed you!".  Next you can see our one and two year old being scooped up in daddy's arms as they giggle in sheer delight.  Then my oldest son runs to his 5 year old brother, wraps his arms around him and says, "I never thought I could miss you so much!  I am so glad to see you and to be home!"  My five year old excitedly hands Bubba a finely decorated envelope which he has had prepared for him since the morning before, while my 7 year old daughter leads them to the refridgerator to show them the airplanes she drew and letters that she wrote for them while missing them.  Bubba hears his baby sister fussing behind him, turns and scoops her in his arms saying, "Bubba is here now!"

I go to my husband and give him a kiss.  I can see he is weary and his eyes tell me he is so thankful to be home.  They had a great time, he tells me, but there is just no place like home and nothing harder than missing those you love most. 

My heart, right now as I type, is feeling so full.  You see, we are a normal family who goes through the normal emotions of family.  Sometimes we irritate eachother, frustrate each other and often find ourselves needing to set pride aside to make amends.  It is days like today when the Lord showers one with the blessing of understanding how very important each one of us is to the other.  How very much we are loved!  It is a time that moves me to my knees, thanking the Lord for blessing me with a family who loves me for me.  A family that I am safe with.  Today's reunion was a reminder for me this day to stop and say thank you to my Heavenly Father...for He has indeed blessed!

I can’t believe it!  I actually have some time and energy to write again!  I have spent most of my days these past weeks caring for a very sick family, all the while being sick myself.  It seems, though, that we are well on the mend!  We had been quite spoiled, as it had been a VERY long time since any of us had been sick.  This time we ended up with the bad respiratory stuff, Fifth’s disease and THEN the stomach flu!  I had the stomach flu last and am trying to get some of my energy back from that.  I have a list of things that I would like to get done before this baby arrives and I am running out of time!  I am now 5~12 days away from when my other babies were born, so I am really praying for some spurts of energy before that big day.

Tomorrow we celebrate the first birthday of the year in our family.  My middle daughter is SO excited to be joining me on a trip to town for her birthday.  I have a midwife appointment, so she is thrilled and anxiously awaiting hearing the heartbeat on her special day!  We will run a few errands, get a special cup of coffee, then come home for her party.  I made her a denim apron and embroidered her name on the front pocket.  I also bought a sweet little baking set from Marmee Dear to go with the apron.  It has a mini baking sheet, rolling pin, rubber spatula, spatula, several stainless steel cookie cutters and little heart baking pan.  I bought her some pretty little cards to write recipes on for her very own recipe box.  She will LOVE all of this.  I had asked her a few weeks ago what her birthday wish was and she told me she wanted a changing pad to change her baby dolls on. J  SO, I made her an adorable little changing pad, a hand bag to carry it in that has a pocket on the front.  I stuck two newborn diapers in the pocket too.  OH the fun of birthdays! 

I spent some of my time while being sick revamping my homekeeping binder.  We now have a doable routine and chore chart that will work with life having a new baby.  

My pregnancy continues to go very well, for which I am so thankful!  I can tell I am near the end, though.  I am becoming increasingly uncomfortable and tired.  The baby has dropped considerably and makes walking a whole different story.  I have started my classic prelaboring and am up nights with intense contractions that eventually taper off.  I am so very excited to think of holding and nursing another little one in a matter of days or weeks!

Well, speaking of sleepless nights….I really should begin to settle in for the night.  I need to look over tomorrow’s school plans, spend some time with my hubby and call it a night.

Many blessings!

Well, it feels that way anyhow!  I couldn't get into my blog control panel, but thanks to the hard work of HSB I (and many others so I hear) are back to the blogging world! :)

The time away was good, though, as the Lord used it to give me some clear direction concerning the ministry of His calling women back to their homes.  All praise be to Him for opening the doors, I now have a website Calling His Daughters Home .  It is a forum set up for the purpose of encouraging one another in keeping our hearts at home.  I will be using this forum for my original plan...the writing of my book!   Feel free to come and take a look.

We have been pretty sick in this household.  It took all I could muster this morning to get out of the house for my midwife appointment.  I HAD to go, as I needed a necessary shot.  I am glad I went, as my midwife encouraged me that this little one is setting the stage for a VBAC!  Head is down, baby is still small....great news!  I also asked her how I could keep this respiratory stuff from turning into bronchitis (for some reason I am more prone to coming down with this).  She told me to go pick up some Oreganol.  I took it on the way home and my congestion eased up tremendously!  I feel as though I might survive!

When feeling a bit of relief, I have been stocking the freezer.  I now have a whole list of foods on the fridge and that has sure taken some pressure with this sickness.

Tomorrow is the big D~Day for us.  We will be having our old home demolished.  There are a lot of emotions involved in that.  I will take pictures and try to get them up sometime.  This is my husband's childhood home...I thought for his birthday I would put together a special scrapbook of the wonderful pictures I have stored away of the old place.  I know he, even, has many mixed emotions involved in what needs to be done.

Well...this is short but there are other things I must tend to now.  Please pay no attention to typos...I am pretty sleep deprived!

If I don't write before Christmas.........MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!

  It is a cloudy, dreary type day.  I am sitting on the window seat in the home I use to share with my family.  It is placed in a window in the bedroom my husband and I first shared when married and for many years thereafter.  I have chosen this day to go in and clean out anything my family would like to keep before the house is torn down.

  My heart is breaking as I take that step to put it all behind me.  It doesn’t take long of sitting in this place, looking out the window at old memories,  that the tears begin to fall.  I am seeing Christmases past, rain pouring on fall evenings, babies being born in the rooms below, wonderful scents from the kitchen………….but then, all of a sudden other memories began to flood into my heart and I felt as if a knife was being driven deep within…..

  The first years in this home especially, were full of much heartache.  I have written of how my marriage use to be.  I have also written of how I longed for more children, but my husband did not share my heart’s desire.  I have written of laying in a bed in the very next room, knowing life was slipping away with every breath I took.  I remember hearing my daughter crying outside my door, saying, “Grandma, Mommy is dying.”  I have memories of being a bitter, selfish person under this roof….being one key ingredient to an unhappy household. 

There were no longer tears of sadness for the good memories past falling down my cheeks.  No, it was tears of sadness for the way life was during those difficult years.  The room around me seemed so bleak, as I recalled such things.  I found myself wishing I could go back and change it all; but then the Lord opened my eyes!  HE changed it all!  I looked out the window I had looked out numerous times before in the years past….only this time I saw redemption, growth, forgiveness, JOY!  I could see our cattle grazing in the fields below and was reminded of something I read recently by Nancy Campbell....

“When God speaks of blessing, He promises increase of the fruit of the womb, but also of land and the fruit of the ground, of cattle, sheep, and fruitful vineyards. He talks about the increase of wealth, knowledge and even the increase of the years of our life. God's blessings are enlargement, fruitfulness and increase.” 

 God did this for us in different ways!  He changed our hearts, our lives and began pouring blessings out upon us in so many ways!  My husband’s heart began to change and be turned towards home.  My heart was changed and CAME back home!  Our LIVES were changed and the blessings began to flow!

 So, I dry my tears, look around the old home full of SO many different memories, and I say good bye.  Good bye to the good, beautiful memories that I know will stay in my heart forever.  And good bye to the pain of the past that go down when the home falls.  For my God is good.  He has healed.  He has increased our territory.  He has blessed.  He has proven Himself faithful.  He has restored the years the locust hath eaten!  If I kept silent about such praises in my heart, I am afraid it wouldn’t be giving God the glory He deserves….nor would others experience the reasons there are to hope!

I am back to nesting again.  I am very thankful for the bursts of energy I am getting in between those days of extreme fatigue.  I just am having this feeling that I need to be bringing complete order to my home now, in preparation for those precious days of rocking a little nursling once again.  After losing two more babies since my last birth, I am feeling really ready for this.  I feel in my heart that it won't be long, though I certainly hope and pray he/she will wait at least another month! 

Yesterday, one of my nesting ventures brought me into the baby room right (which is an actual part of our master bedroom), where my baby girl was taking residence.  As I started organizing I just decided to go ahead and make the big move.  You know...moving the "baby" for the newest baby.  I am a sentimental, emotional type, I guess and it always breaks my heart to make that change.  The process itself was fun because my precious little 18 month old was being all big, "helping" her mama move the crib to her sisters' room; but once it was over and I listened to my older girls' delightful squeals after learning baby sister was now in with them, my heart was sad. 

I wrote my Mama of this sadness this morning and how the night proved to be a rough one of adjusting for my littlest daughter and I.  She wrote me back these words......

We all have challenges in our home keeping life.  One of those challenges for me has always been breakfast. Really, I have always been pretty challenged in the kitchen.  Meal time wasn’t a joyous time for me growing up and the first years of my marriage I was very nervous at the table.  Of course, time at my husband’s meal table has changed me.  I know now that I am safe there and it is okay that I come just as I am.  Still, preparing food wasn’t ever a joy to me.  I struggled to know what to make, how to organize my kitchen, how to make a meal plan and on and on and on.

So, back to breakfast…..  I am NOT a morning person at all!  Thankfully, the Lord has brought me to a point of realizing that I must sacrifice that old self and face the morning anyways…not just face it, but with a heart of joy.  I guess the Lord knew that this would be one good area in my life to use in the teaching me to put others before my self. 

In order to do this, though, I had to come up with some solutions.  We are all wired differently.  My husband wakes up with a huge smile and is ready to get all his talking in within the first hour of the day.  I, on the other hand, can hardly pull myself together enough to mutter more than a pleasant, smiling “good morning”.  I was so convicted in my heart to be rising in the morning and being sure that my family was provided with a nourishing breakfast before their days began; yet found myself so discouraged about trying to do so.

It is really actually very simple and certainly wasn’t my own idea!  I get breakfast prepared the day before!  Oh!  You were expecting some NEW idea, weren’t you!?  No, not a new idea, BUT has been the answer for me!  I set a simple breakfast menu for our week.  We eat things like muffins, eggs, pancakes (which my oldest daughter now makes), baked oatmeal etc…For things like pancakes and baked oatmeal, the batter can be made the night before.  Our muffins are our favorite and we make TONS of them at one time to freeze.  I also make things the day before like honey and oat rolls, cinnamon rolls(when I am short on time and unable to make bread I use the biscuit mix I will provide here to make the rolls and it is OH so yummy!) and coffee cake.