Jun. 11, 2008
Nebraska prairies vs. Colorado plains
Posted in My stuff
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or maybe I should call it, blooming where you are planted. Even if it is just in a pot rather than in nice,loamy ground and you know eventually you are going to be placed on a different porch. And have to accustom yourself to new lighting and temperature conditions. While trying not to drop all your leaves in a shameful manner. I have had a terrible attitude about living in Colorado. Colorado is a fine place. My children love it. My husband at least likes it and wants to buy a house here. I could say plenty of nice things about Colorado and they would all be true. I miss Nebraska. I try not to say anything to my family though my friends hear plenty. With nineteen moves in twenty years and the moves in my childhood as an Air Force family, I have lived many many places. Nowhere ever stirred my soul like living on the western Nebraska prairies. That beautiful rolling land with different shades of green and gold. There is something about seeing all the fields with crops, the grasslands with the cattle grazing, and then here and there, a gathering of trees, offering shade and rest that make me feel nurtured and cared for. Like everything I would ever need is right there. It calms my heart and stills my anxious soul to look over those prairies. I felt I belonged there. Yet,here I am. Not there. Here. I noticed yesterday that the sunflowers are starting to grow. Little things, by summers end,they will be everywhere. The trees and the grass was green. The crops just starting to grow,not even knee high yet. (there is no lovelier sound in the fall than a field of dried corn stalks rustling.......). Yet,here I am. Maybe this is a silly hope, but God has been very good to me so far in my life. Among other things, I have always had the ability to move on. To let go of places that I loved and fall in love with the next place. I loved Connecticut. The mad,crazy green of such an urban space. The pure rich colors of the trees in the fall. The beautiful old buildings and houses. Yet we moved on and I fell in love with Indiana. The rolling hills, the Amish country, the wonderful snows. Then we moved on and I fell in love with western Washington state. The rain forests that look almost primeval with the tall, tall firs and the ferns growing underneath them. The volcanoes we could see from any tall bridge and that we camped right beside. The blackberry vines that grew everywhere like kudzu in the South. And many more places that each had at least one bit of charm about them. For some reason, I cannot let go of Nebraska. I yearn to be there, I still feel it in my blood. There was another time I was dealing with feelings I felt were holding me back. I prayed earnestly to have them removed, to have peace from them. My answer was "no, they have a purpose in Me". These feelings about Nebraska, I keep feeling there is a purpose in them. God led me there and perhaps He will eventually led me back. In the meantime though, here I am living in Colorado! Life is meant to be joyful and I need to find the joy. No answers to that today,other than joy in my family. And joy in my house that already feels cozy and happy. |
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