Ladies are you an angry mother, wife or person?    I cannot emphasize enough mothers how anger is like an infectious disease.  It usually spreads quite rapidly to those who are closest to you.  There are few and rare occasions that a child will be the complete opposite of their angry parents. But the most common practice is if the parents have issues with anger the children will follow suit.   So what does that mean for you if you are an angry person?  You say yes I get angry about things but where do I go from here.  Well ladies I must first encourage you that you can change!  You can learn to be a peaceful, meek and quiet person.  But like anything else it takes work, patience, perseverance and endurance if you want to truly change you must endure the process. You will have your up and down days the key is to not give up until you have succeeded!  The Lord wants peace for you more than anything so be sure to seek Him in this time of need!   It is definitely beneficial to all if you did take the time to get rid of your anger.  Anger causes so much damage.  It leaves scars and damages a child’s soul.  It teaches them the wrong way to respond to situations.  It teaches them that it is okay to mistreat other people because something is not going your way and I am sure you know mothers that all these behaviors are absolutely wrong! 

So what do you do to change if you are angry?   Do you find you lack patience? You tend to have a short fuse in response to things especially in regards to your children and your husband?  I know many times we blame our children and even other people for how WE respond to things but anger is never anybody else’s fault and it is never okay to be angry at anybody, not the lady next door, not your children and certainly not your husband.  Anger is a selfish and prideful response to things that don’t happen to go our way.   Do you find that you get upset at your children for not doing what it is you expect them to do mom?  There are other ways of handling those types of situation ladies.  One of the main keys is to first, keep your children with you as I said in my previous post mothers.  When your children are with you, you will know immediately when they are not following your commands with first time obedience.  A child should give you first time obedience always! There should be no exceptions to that rule ever!  If they do not obey you the first time, don’t get mad, don’t count, don’t blow up.  Just get up and do something about it mom.  Always be sure they know your expectations!  Don’t just assume they know all the rules now and then start dishing our consequences.  Take the time to talk with them first and be sure you lay down all the ground rules with them.  This is especially true if you were lax on rules before, they won’t believe you at first mothers.  They are definitely going to test you and you must be sure to show them that you mean business without getting angry!  Please don’t take this wrong ladies but it is your fault they are not obeying you right away.  They think you are a liar mother because up until now you let them get away with things and all you did was get angry if they didn’t obey.  Why should they think this time is going to be any different? So that is why it is up to you to show them that things are going to be different.  Not getting angry will be their first clue that you are serious and you mean business!   Be sure to tell them that first time obedience is what you are going to expect from here on out. When you will tell them to do something you expect them to obey it as if it was the law!  If they decide to not obey you the first time you will be forced to discipline them in love and the key is ladies to follow through with your word and always be sure you are doing it in love.  If you don’t follow through with what you said you are going to do then your children will think your word is worthless and they will not put any value in obeying it.  They will not believe that you mean what you say if you don’t follow through with correcting them for their disobedience. With things continuing in that direction they will never get better they will only get worse ladies.  Your anger will only increase due to your circumstances instead of decreasing due to perseverance.

The key to all correction is to always do it in love mothers!  Always!!! You can correct your children in love ladies it is true!  You don’t have to be a raving maniac to get them to listen to you.  When you yell in anger you look ridiculous.  Would you fear a policeman who was yelling and out of control?  Or do you fear them more when they are completely calm when they pull you over, walk up to your car window and calmly write you a ticket?  If a policeman came to your car window yelling in a fit of anger telling you off and cutting you down, meanwhile he is flailing his arms in-between writing you a ticket?  After all was said and done, wouldn’t you pull away thinking he was crazy and completely out of control?  Wouldn’t you wonder how he is even competent enough to be doing his job?  Would you have any respect for him at that point?  I doubt it.   Children will usually always respect a cool, calm and collective parent far above one who was always angry and yelling at them.   I can assure you ladies that your children surely think poorly of you also whenever you are in a fit of anger.  They will never respect an out of control angry person!  To be truthful ladies there is nothing to respect.  You are obviously not respecting yourself enough to behave in a decent manner.  Doesn’t that tell you something?  But it doesn’t have to be that way ladies!  I am telling you the truth; there is hope for you!  Do not despair!

Wouldn’t you just absolutely love to have your children to obey you, as quickly as the words just fell out of your mouth?  They obey you on the first time request with complete obedience in their hearts, a smile on their face and hugging you in the process.   You will be able to correct them in love when you are expecting and requiring first time obedience without ever being angry with them.  It is when we allow our children to push the limits and trip all of our buttons that we will find ourselves becoming frustrated and angry when it is us that we are truly angry at.  If our children obeyed the first time you would not find yourself frustrated over repeating the same instruction over, and over and over again!  After repeating ourselves many times we begin to feel taken advantage of and most likely you are right you probably are being taken advantage of.  It is human nature to try and get away with being lazy and get away with doing or not doing things when we weren’t trained properly from a very young age.  That is why ladies the younger you start tomato staking your children the better it will be for you and your end results.  You will enjoy your children, they will be a blessing to you and you will treasure them beyond belief  Anger only leads to destruction in both you and your children and that says you are not taking the time to parent your children if you are an angry and or frustrated mother. When you take the time to train your children, from the start not only do you benefit but most of all your children do.  You will not have to retrain them or try to overcome obstacles caused by not training your children in first time obedience. Take the time to enforce some rules and stop getting angry over things that are totally and completely within your control.  Sit back mother and watch yourself radiantly glow over how your children were told to do something and they answered you with a, “Yes Mommy” while wearing a smile on their face and not only did they do an awesome job in the task at hand but they did it quickly and promptly while speaking to you with the honor you so deserve.  Now they are back and want to know what else they can do to help you mom?  As they are hugging on you and showing you how much you are loved while you love them back.  If we are not giving our children boundaries and guidelines how can we expect them to know where the line is drawn? 

So many mothers blow up and say, “if only my children would obey I could be happy”!  Well the honest truth is mothers; if you only could be happy and consistent then your children would obey!  Anger is never the answer to any of our problems ladies!  NEVER!! Anger only causes more problems and anger not only causes us to be unhappy but it also brings unhappiness to those around us.  Anger is not only bad for us emotionally but it also takes its toll on us physically too.  Mother do you truly believe you have a right to get angry because your child spilled a glass of milk?  May I ask if the reason you are angry is because you now have to clean up a mess?  Don’t let that create anger in you dear ladies, instead of getting mad that you have to clean up the mess may I suggest that you turn it into a training session for your child instead?  Teach your children to clean up their own messes!  Yes it is true that young children can clean up their messes.  I have had my 1 to 2 yr olds help wipe up a mess they made on the floor.  Will it be great quality work?  Of course not but we are not to expect that from them if they are at a young age.  They are in training mothers and you should look at every opportunity as a training session.  When you have a large family like mine ladies you have to train your children to do things from a very young age. There is no way I can do everything by myself.  Everybody has to do their share even the young ones.  Are you maybe doing too much mother and not expecting enough of your children?  If so that could and will trigger anger in you too.  If you feel like you are carrying the complete load yourself that can make a person angry if they have anger issues.  If your young one makes a mess and you find you don’t have the patience at that moment to help teach them to clean it up then may I suggest for you to enlist one of your older children to help the younger one.  It is great teamwork when an older child works with a younger one.  Be creative mom just don’t get mad!  Anger is never the solution, anger only creates more problems.  Anger doesn’t solve anything it only creates problems and puts a breach in relationships of all kinds.  Are you looking to build relationships or are you trying to tear them down?

Pr 14:1 ¶ Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.  Which are you doing mother?  Anger will always do the latter part of that verse!  Think about what it is you truly want to accomplish.

I once heard a story similar to the one I am about to tell.  I think it is a good word picture for you so I am going to share it.  There you are speeding down the highway.  (Lately in my blogs I have using getting tickets an example.  This is not because I get a bunch of speeding tickets LOL I just think using the law is just a good analogy in helping explain points.)  There is a policeman standing on the side of the road.  His sole job is to yell, in anger, at all the speeding cars that go by.  As you speed by he just screams words of anger towards you while shaking his fist at your speeding vehicle.  He is raging mad, you can see the veins popping our of his neck as he screams in a total fit of anger   Never once does he pull you over, never once does he take any action to get you to stop speeding.  He just yells as you and everybody else breaks the law.  Do you think anybody will ever stop speeding?  Why should they?  There is no consequence.  You may not like his anger but over time you will learn to ignore it and it probably won’t even phase you over time.  It is the same with your children.  You are the policeman and they are the speeding cars. If you want to make an impact on them stop getting angry and start making calm choices.  Learn to control your anger and set the law of first time obedience.  You will begin to start seeing the fruits of your labor mothers. 

Please remember mom as I said before it is not anybody else’s fault you get angry except your own!  The sooner you realize this and admit it the sooner you will be taking your first step towards change.  If you grew up with anger than you should know first hand how damaging it is and how ineffective it was.  Don’t use that as your excuse.  That should be your reason for not doing it!  Do you want your children to remember you with a smile ladies and not with a scowl or a mad face?  Do you want them to cringe when they make a mess or do you want them to see you smile and to know that you will only expect them to clean it up there is not any  anger to endure.  You may even help them because they know that mom is so great and she is fun and she is loving and she is ever so kind!  She is so patient, happy and joyful. She never gets angry or mad at us children and she is especially happy to daddy!  You can be viewed that way ladies you really can!  But you have to want it in order to make the changes! Do you want it mothers?  Do you want your children and your husbands to view you as happy and joyful or mean, grumpy and angry?  Make changes today ladies!  It is never too late!  If you fail, pick yourself back up, ask the Lord to give you the strength to change and keep trying!  Don’t ever give up, keep on getting back up until you succeed!   

What are we teaching our children when they see us angry with others and with them?  We are saying, go ahead take your mood out on others.  Live by your emotions and by your moods.  Allow your circumstances to rule you.  Do you really want that for your children mothers? Or are you willing to say NO I won’t live by my emotions.  I will rule my emotions and I will live in the spirit.  I will be joyful, happy and content and I will teach my children to treat others the way they would want to be treated!  It is in your hands mother. You may say, “Well my husband is an angry man”.  Well so what if he is ladies?   Do you like his anger?  Do you wish he would change?  If that is the case, then you change first ladies.  If you are the loving patient wife/mother then your man may just change too.  But don’t change in order to change him. Change yourself and let the Lord change your man!    Now go smile at your man and your children and make anger a part of your past! Admit your wrong doings to the Lord, your husband and your children!  Repent of your anger and move on into a new future!  You can do this mothers, you truly can!

Dearest Lord, please help change any ladies who have anger problems!  Lord I know you want better for our families.  I know you want us to release our anger and to live by your spirit. But those with anger problems have to want it in order for it to happen Lord.  They have to have a willing heart in order for you to be able to change them!  Give them willing hearts Lord and make them into joyful, willing, happy, content, peaceful, meek women Lord!  I know you can do this Lord and I know you want it for each and every home so please give the desire to those who need it and then help them follow through!  I know they will be glad they did Lord and most of all I know their families will be glad too!  In Jesus name I pray Amen!

This was written 4 months ago before my loss.  I post it here for everybody to read.  It is meant to help others understand what it is like for those of us who have experienced a loss whether it be 1, 2 or in my case 7 babies lost to stillbirth or miscarriage.)

I spent all night praying the night before my ultrasound. There I was Tues. night praying my heart out crying out to the Lord to let my ultrasound be normal and for me to see that little beating heart of my new precious life on that screen. Yet throughout this pregnancy I have always had slight reservations. Call it intuition, but I kept feeling like I was not going to get to keep this baby. The thing that was different this time was Travis was so positive that I would keep the baby and so I tried to hold onto that with all my might. He said I would get pregnant this time and I did. I said, "honey you said I would get pregnant this time and I did but will I get to keep it?" he said, "I would like to think so love but I would be sad if you didn't."

Then when all signs pointed to I was going to miscarry in the beginning he took another step of faith on my behalf and said, "I know you are scared and worried but I think you are still pregnant and things are fine. " Well he was absolutely right and things progressed in the pregnancy nicely from there on out. All my blood work and ultrasounds showed a healthy and progressing pregnancy. Like I said before it was a big thing to me for him to say everything was okay without truly knowing. He felt he had been given a vision regarding this pregnancy and so he felt that we were going to have a baby boy. In the beginning of this pregnancy Travis was the one approaching me saying everything is okay and the baby is fine. Well back when he was coming to me and saying these things my tests had all showed his words to be accurate and true so I held onto that.

Somewhere along the line he stopped offering information to me and I can honestly say that it happened right around the same time that things began to change in my pregnancy. Maybe God just gave him internal intuition too. Well I kept on pushing him in a gentle way but nonetheless pushing him, for answers because I was looking for him to reassure me about the pregnancy again since I was feeling so doubtful and uncertain about things at that point. Instead of just waiting for the Lord to bring him to me again and just be patient and await on His timing I kept on looking for self induced answers because I just felt better when he comforted me with the words that everything was okay. Now in hindsight I can see that was a mistake. I should of left well enough alone. Well we went in Wed for the ultrasound when the tech measured the sac it was 7 weeks and 3 days in size it measured only a couple days off from how many days it was between my ultrasounds. I think I had my ultrasound 13 days prior to this one and the sac measured 11 days bigger from that date on.  That only meant that the sac grew appropriately with a few days variance.   With every ultrasound the sac just keeps growing but they never seem to see the yoke sac or the baby. I was always a week behind according to my own calculations but that happened when I was pregnant with Leah so I just figured this pregnancy was going to be similar to hers. In all the other ultrasounds it was too early to see the baby but they said that this time around the baby should of been visible, they weren't 100% sure if we would be able see something but they made it seem like we should of seen something at this point. Well the fact that my HCG numbers were still going up and my sac was still growing with each ultrasound made it seem like the pregnancy was doing good. I had also been having such bad pregnancy symptoms and whenever it was not a viable pregnancy I never had any pregnancy symptoms. That is usually one of the signs to me that I would probably not get to keep the baby. It usually helped prepare me ahead of time quite a bit. But I have had such severe pregnancy symptoms this time around that I figured it was a good pregnancy for sure.  Couple that with all the other things I mentioned regarding the pregnancy and also add to that the fact that Travis sure seemed so certain about the pregnancy that all these things had given me such high hopes this time around.

But deep down inside I still always had a slight doubt.  I still never completely grasped on 100% just to play it safe since I always had that little uneasy feeling at times. Well when they did the ultrasound and there was no baby visible just the sac that had grown some more my heart sunk but this time around it was for my husband. I had never seen him so torn up and sad. I was angry towards God. Angry that this man was following God's ways and doing as God wished for our family yet God was not rewarding him. He was not rewarding him for his diligence; here he was doing all that God wanted him to do taking a big step out in faith, believing for all the things that God seemed to promise him yes getting nothing in return.   Here was this man deserving our Heavenly Fathers recognition and rewards for all he had been accomplishing and he got nothing except disappointment and probably confusion about what was going on. I was so mad at that moment. It was the first time I didn't break down in tears or withdraw due to my own sadness. It was the first time my heart looked at my husband and realized he was feeling the pain I normally feel when I find out the baby is no longer living. All I could do was say why God why? Part of me was relieved because I knew it was finally over and there was no more guessing on my part anymore. I adored the comfort of my husband through it all but I knew I could finally let go of my slight hopes inside of myself now. When I was able to I got up and hugged my husband and told him I loved him and I totally believed in him still. He said, "I don't know why." I knew he felt like he disappointed me but he did not! He did nothing wrong and he only followed his own heart through the whole thing and in doing so he gave me much needed comfort in times of need. But I believed in him because he deserved to be believed in. He is a wise man, he has comforted me more times than he will ever know, He is smart, a wonderful father and a wonderful husband, he is so good at so many things and he amazes me with his abilities. He is kind, sweet, gentle yet strong, he is rock solid and he is an amazing lover and friend. I knew he was hurting and he was unsure of what had just happened and so I cried out to God on behalf of my husband. Why was God doing this to him? I was mad, confused and yet relieved. It was a quiet ride home but my husband and I embarrassed each other a lot the rest of that day yet we did not speak of the incident. Well here it is 4 almost 5 days later and nothing has happened. I was cramping the day after the ultrasound and I thought for sure I was going to start the miscarriage. But nothing ever became of that. I wished and prayed that my body would just finally pass the pregnancy quickly so I could move on. It is hard when you know you are carrying around a baby that has already died and so I wanted more than anything for this to be completely over. But nothing happened, nothing at all.

Yet something inside of me has changed. The intuition I had that I was going to lose the baby prior to my ultrasound has now changed to me feeling like I am going to keep the baby. Why would that be? Is my mind playing tricks? It is still very possible for God to do a miracle for the baby has not been passed yet and I know it is possible for him to take an embryo that has already died and give it life again, he raised several people from the dead throughout the New Testament.  Yes it is certainly possible that during the ultrasounds He hid the baby from us all during those times. It is possible because with God anything is possible. I have finally come to the realization that maybe God just doesn't want me to think one way or another. Or maybe He wants for a true miracle to be revealed to all these people that have been involved in this pregnancy from the beginning. Maybe He wanted me to think I would lose the baby when I could of kept it and now He wants me to think I can keep it when everything points to me losing it. The whole thing has gotten so very confusing but I am not giving up hope. I know that when I leave the whole matter in Gods hands and just wait and trust in Him that whatever happens will be His will.  I find that I now believe that this is what God has been trying to get me to do through this whole pregnancy.  He has just wanted me to let go and trust in Him and trust in my husband even when nothing made sense at all and when things looked completely grim He just wanted me to believe that His will would be done.

 I know there were times that I was just being very impatient during this pregnancy and trying to get answers early this time around. Usually I get answers and I am comforted but this time things were very confusing and not the norm and the only time I found comfort was from the words of my husband. Maybe if nothing else I was to just grow closer to my husband and learn to trust in him more than ever regardless of the outcome.  Even if I did not end up with what I had hoped and prayed for I still had hopes and belief in the man I love and adore.

I have been thinking a lot about today’s children and the lack of training they are getting in their homes. What will be the fate of our future generations?  This has become such a common problem in today’s world ladies.  Look around you and see just how many parents lack the ability to subdue their children’s wills.  The parents of today have just stepped aside and have handed over the reigns of running their household to their children.   But the problem doesn’t just lie with the children, no if you take a good look you will see the problems also lies with the wives.  So many women of today have stopped submitting to their husbands and you can now see that defiance crossing over into the hearts and lives of the children.  Women’s rights have now come into our homes and ruined the order of authority.  So many women have pulled the reigns of leadership right out of their mans hands and took over a position God did not create them for.  Because of strong willed mothers and women’s rights children have learned first hand how to also defy authority.  It’s no wonder why so many mothers don’t want any children at all or want to stop having children after having one or two.  When your home is a child run home I can honestly say I don’t blame those mothers for not wanting a quiver full of them.  These women lack the knowledge that the answer to their problem is as simple as changing their own hearts towards their man and implementing discipline in their children.  If they took their place in the home and learned to submit to their husbands they would find the true joy and happiness they are lacking in their lives. They would want to take the time to train their children and to be the example they were meant to be.

Take a moment right now mothers and ask yourself, what type of an example are you to your children?  Are you compliant or strong willed?    How do you handle your own desires?  Do you live more in the flesh or in the spirit?  As humans we tend to want our own ways! That is just human nature and it is what most of us want to do.  But take a moment to stop and ask yourself the following question, how do I respond when things don’t go my way?  How do I behave when my children are not giving me complete compliance and obedience?  How do I react when my husband wants me to do something that seems less than desirable to me?  Is your response to your husband whiney and pouty?  Do you do your best to let him know that you don’t like what it is he is asking of you? These are all self-willed behaviors mothers.  How can we expect to properly teach these precious children, the Lord has entrusted to us when we ourselves are not living the standards we expect from our children?  If they learn by our examples then we must behave properly.  Change must first start with us.  We need to be wiling to model all we expect our children to be.  Our children need to see what compliance looks like.  They need to see that mommy obeys daddy and God with a happy, joyful and compliant heart.  They need to see you with an obedient spirit towards the authority in your life. 

Sometimes life gets so very busy.  Sometimes I just get going on my day and I find that I am forgetting, to be restful in the Lord. It is times like those that the Lord helps remind me to slow down.  He takes something as simple as my precious children when they are in a restful sleep and helps remind me to always rest in Jesus.  This is especially helpful when the activities of my day cause me be be weary and tired and I feel like I just cannot go on.  The Lord wants me to rest in Him while I do the duties of my day!  So remember ladies to stay restful in the Lord and you will be able to carry on!

Lord please always remind me to rest my weary head in your lap while your loving arms embrace me. Remind me to rest in you when life seems like it is too much to deal with.