(Proverbs 27:17 - "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." ESV)

I am distressed at the recent number of Christian writers and popular speakers who are convinced that they need to compel us to "love ourselves" before we can love others.  One popular author wrote:

Jesus said the greatest commandment was to love God with everything you have and love your neighbor as yourself. That last part about loving yourself is commonly overlooked. It's generally thought that self-love is a given, but this is not the case at all, especially for Christians. Most Christians I know, myself included, are so steeped in guilt that it is impossible for them to love themselves.  http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/devarchive.aspx?ARCHIVEID=1656

 

I think I understand what he was trying to get at, but the bottom line is that Scripture must be interpreted with Scripture.  Although many love to use Jesus words (out of context) in Matthew 22 as in the example above, Jesus also said this:

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his life? Or what shall a man give in return for his life?  (Matthew 16:24-26 ESV)

I could blog all night long and not say it any better than Jesus.  He said clearly that in order to come after him (to love him with all our heart...) we have to deny ourselves, take up our crosses, and follow Him.  If we don't quite understand, we need only to look at the Lord Himself, who willingly gave up the glories of heaven in exchange for the muck and filth of sinful people. 

The reason why "it's generally thought that self-love is a given" is because...it is a given!  Jesus said we are to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.  We are to care for them, help them, and meet their needs just like we would do for ourselves without even thinking too much about it.

I would turn the last statement in the quote above totally around.  Most Christians I know, myself included, are so steeped in self-love that it is impossible for them to acknowledge their guilt before God.  Get me to love myself and look to my own needs first?  That's easy.  Get me to deny myself and follow God's plan for my life instead of my own?  That's much, much harder.

I tell my boys almost every single day (and my girls too, as they are now getting old enough to understand), "it's not about you."  I have to tell myself every day, "it's not about you."

I think that you cannot qualify to be a God honoring dad if you put your own selfish desires over the needs of others, including your own family.  I know several so called "Christian" dads who skipped out on their wives and kids because, they said, "God wants me to be happy."  There's not too many people on this planet that I would just love to kick really hard, but those guys are on the short list. 

Maybe we should spend more time reading and applying God's truth in our families instead of listening to all the feel-good psychobabble.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:4-8 ESV)