May. 28, 2006
Teaching Boys
I have 4 boys. One of them has grown up and has a family of his own
now, but I did homeschool him his entire school career with the
exception of 4 months.
I think one of the disservices we do to our boys is starting them too
young. Of course, it really depends on the boy -- some boys are
reading at age 4. But my boys didn't read until much later. The
oldest was nearly 8 and my middle child was 9. My child who didn't
read until he was 9 has been "labeled" by doctors as gifted. So this
has nothing to do with how smart a child is or is going to be.
Still, I read to my boys when they were small, before they could read
themselves, and we learned to recite and narrate and many other
wonderful things before then.
While i agree that most boys are allergic to pencils and school time,
and while I do agree that they have to be taught that learning is
sometimes just plain hard work, I still believe that little boys need
short lessons and plenty of play time.
At our cottage school, our
lessons are only 15 minutes long, followed by a play time. After play
time another 15 minutes of learning takes place. The boys are helped
by this because they know that they only have to sit there for 15
minutes. Yes, some fight it more than others, and some absolutely hate
the sit time. But it helps them develop a much longer attention span
than making them sit for longer periods of time doing work.
The play time is optional. No one is "forced" to play. And in fact,
some of the girls don't. Some of the girls continue on with paper and
pencil work. In my experience, a lot of little girls love workbooks,
filling in blanks, and writing. A lot of little girls prefer small
motor activities over large motor activities. And most little boys are
just the opposite.
Lest you think we cater only to little boys' flesh, you might be
surprised to learn that they are also taught to sit for up to 45
minutes at a time listening to read alouds. They may cross stitch, do
a puzzle, draw, or even lie down during this time, but they do listen
to the chapter books, and they love them. At first it is all about
just being patient as a teacher and teaching habit. But by the end of
the "school year" they are listening to classic chapter books and poems
attentively. This is not expected of children younger than age 8, but
I do have students as young as 5 who are able to do this.
I think the most important things to teach a young boy aren't found in
books. I think the most important things to teach boys are good habits
of attention, orderliness, and manners. But these can be taught in ways
that are less painful than conking the boy over the head with a
constant barrage of threats and a Mom or teacher loosing her cool.
In my experience, boys who were late readers do catch up by the time
they are in 7th grade. My boys all skipped the 6th grade and went
right into 7th. They were caught by then, and I have taught other boys
who have done the same.
If I had my oldest son to teach over again, I think I would have just
enjoyed him more. These little boys grow into men so fast. And God
put it in them to draw away and pull away from Mom so that they can
become an independent man. (Moms can't teach little boys to be men --
only a Dad or father figure can do that.) So it does not get easier as
the boys get older.
Of course, all boys are different. My oldest was not nearly as
teachable as my second boy. My second boy seems to take Mom's every
word to heart, while the oldest had to test every word and find out the
hard way -- for himself!
I could write and write about teaching boys. I love teaching them
because once you make that break-through with a boy -- it seems like
it really sticks with them. I love seeing the lightbulbs go off in
their eyes, and hearing them admit when they learn something. But most
of all, I am fascinated with HOW they learn. And it is much different
than how I, as a female, learns!
It is ironic that God gives mothers the joy and job of raising young
men who are so different than we are. That's why it's so important to
rely on HIM to raise our little boys -- without His wisdom, we can't do
it at all!!
Not meaning to preach -- just love sharing!
Comments
May. 28, 2006 - Have you been to my homeschool?
 Posted by ktneis
I am so glad you posted this. I have been having problems with 1 of my boys and I feel like I am ruining his education. But recently he has been a whole new kid. I also have late readers, even my daughter and people think they are dumb. Really they catch on and they are off reading like they never had a problem. My kids are shy and do not express how really intellegent they can be. They are all God's gifts to me with different gifts they offer our home. I do need to hear the success stories of others with boys, I have a long way to go to graduate this one but I too want to enjoy it.
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May. 29, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
OH GOOD~please do write some more on this topic for us! I may even print this out.... (((((HUGS))))) sandi
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May. 29, 2006 - Untitled Comment
 Posted by Majormom
You are so right about the 15 minutes span. I remember my son at six could barely make it through the required time but he had hope that when it passed he could go outside! He didn't read by himself until he was 9. He graduated from HS at age 16 and just finished his first year of college. He loves to learn...I wonder if he'd feel that way if I had used a different approach with him. Boys are fun to teach. Hugs, J
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