May. 26, 2008 - New Beginnings...
I'm learning that I'm not the same person I was when I left home last June. I've been broken and spilled out. My heart isn't the same anymore. My cold, hard heart has been melted by God's love for me. He showed me a beautiful life that has peace and real happiness. I learned I can trust Him and that there is so much more to life when you give of yourself to others and spend time with them. He shows you His love and lets it shine out of you to others.
Before I left I must admit I was a pretty miserable person. I held a lot of grudges in my life and I didn't want to be hurt. I kept my heart closed to feeling. I hated to cry and I hated to show even happiness. I wanted to be unreadable. I didn't want anyone to know what was going on inside of me.
In Pinagbayanan I learned to love and be loved. I worked with those kids and I prayed with those kids. I tried to teach and be taught. I worried over them and prayed for them. I cried with them and for them. And when I left them they cried. As I walked away from my house the tears just poured from my eyes. "I'm leaving them."
My student Meriam...she lived with me, played with me, ate with me, cooked with me, worked with me...she begged me not to go. "Ma'am don't " she said one night at my door. "Don't what?" I said. "Don't Ma'am!" A little worried I replied again "Don't what?"--- "Don't GO Ma'am!" She hugged me and cried. "Your one of my best teachers Ma'am, I love you. Don't go please! If you have to go home...go, but come back! I want you to teach me next year!" This same thing happened two nights in a row. This time Meriam brought with her Jezzle my other second grader. "Don't forget us Ma'am" Over and over I heard those words as I said my goodbyes.
How can I forget them? I'm haunted by their memory every time I close my eyes. I want to see my kids again, I want to go back. I want to be with them. I don't want them to harden their hearts because it hurts to let someone you love go. I don't want them to be afraid to love because someone might leave them.
As our van pulled out of the driveway at LMN in Idaho I stuck my head out the window and waved to Jennie one last time. "Mahal Kita! At Ingat ka!" (I love you and take care!) Again tears rolled down my cheeks...
Let Your Heart be Broken
Let your heart be broken for a world in need:
Feed the mouths that hunger,
Soothe the wounds that bleed.
Give the cup of water, and the loaf of bread.
Be the hands of Jesus, serving in his stead.
Here on earth applying principles of love.
Visible expression, God still rules above.
Living illustration of the living word,
To the minds of all who've never seen or heard.
Blest to be a blessing, privileged to care,
Challenged be the need, apparent everywhere.
Where mankind is wanting, fill the vacant place.
Be the means through which
The Lord reveals His grace.
Add to your believing deeds that prove it true,
Knowing Christ as Savior, Make Him Master too.
Follow in His footsteps, go where he has trod;
In the worlds great trouble risk yourself for God.
Let your heart be tender and your vision clear;
See mankind as God sees, serve Him far and near.
Let your heart be broken by a brother's pain;
Share your rich resources, give and give again.
Words & music - Bryan Jeffery Leech
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Jun. 21, 2007 - The Philippines...
I am here safely in the Philippines.
We are heading out to our Village on Sunday. My friend and I will be in the same village afterall and we are both very excited for our teaching to begin. I will be teaching the kindergarten grade and that is the grade I wanted so badly to teach! I have had many experiences already, but sadly I don't have the time to share many of them. I have been here just over a week and a half and I am very much enjoying the climate here and the new experiences. The people have been very friendly and generous. The fellowship has been very nice! And the kids! Oh the kids are so much fun and so sweet! I've never had this much fun in all my life! Even the 'kids' my age are fun and I've had a lot of fun getting to know them.
Love them, Like you love Jesus...
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Jun. 21, 2007 - An Experience...
The Hospital ...
Sabbath evening Tiyo Jim had to go to the hospital to do some things there. There was a case that needed attention. He invited Leroy and Jennie to go with him. I was invited too, but I stayed behind. I generally don't handle well going to visit the hospital so I stayed here. When they got back they told us of a young lady who had Cancer and was very sick. Also a man whose arms had been blown off in an accident with Dynamite. Other stories too, but those were the two main ones.
On Sunday morning Leroy, Shelma, Jennie and I went Walking/Jogging with 3 of the girls from the church here. We were up at 5 am and Walked till around 7am. We Came back and Tiya Moni asked us to go to the market and pick up some mangoes and a few other things for breakfast. We got back around 7:30am and helped Shelma make breakfast. Sara (one of the girls) stayed to have breakfast with us. We had a good time with her. She left and we cleaned up the kitchen.
A few hours later a man we had seen around town came by wanting to know where Tiyo Jim was. He didn't speak very good English and Shelma was the only one at home here who knows Tagalog. He stayed here till Tiyo Jim came for lunch. He needed Tiyo's help to get some much needed medication for his daughter who is in the hospital. The one with Cancer. His son is also in the hospital with malaria. They got to the hospital and they were told it was too late, she had died.
Tiyo brought him back here after trying to get a truck to come and someone to help get the body ready for burial. But since it was Sunday no one in the Capital would get things going, so Tiyo and the father came back to the house here ate and invited us to go with them. So The three of us: Leroy, Jennie and I went with him and the father to the hospital. When we go there her family was in her room. Her Brother, husband, daughter, mother, and another young girl.
Tiyo had purchased some 'plastic' at the store and some twine. We wrapped the body for burial and took it out to the truck. We drove out to her village, to her family's hut. So they could bury her. They were not crying but in their expression was such solemn sadness. The language barrier made it hard to say anything but I was glad I could be there to help. The little girl held my hand on the way out to the truck from the hospital. I felt so bad for the family. She was only 27 years old. Death here is just a part of people's lives. There are at least two funeral processions that pass everyday. The hospital isn't what you are imagining at all. It is bare of most things that make a hospital. The beds are bamboo mats, and the rooms are empty of furnishings except for the beds. This hospital is very run down. Medications just aren't available here and there are so many people suffering. Please Pray for the needs of the hospital.
P.S. Tiyo Means Uncle in Tagalog the local language here. We call Jim... Uncle Jim and his wife Aunt Moni. Aunt in Tagalog is Tiya.
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May. 16, 2007 - The Bible Stands
The Bible stands like a rock undaunted
’Mid the raging storms of time;
Its pages burn with the truth eternal,
And they glow with a light sublime.
Refrain
The Bible stands though the hills may tumble,
It will firmly stand when the earth shall crumble;
I will plant my feet on its firm foundation,
For the Bible stands.
The Bible stands like a mountain towering
Far above the works of men;
Its truth by none ever was refuted,
And destroy it they never can.
Refrain
The Bible stands and it will forever,
When the world has passed away;
By inspiration it has been given,
All its precepts I will obey.
Refrain
The Bible stands every test we give it,
For its Author is divine;
By grace alone I expect to live it,
And to prove and to make it mine.
Refrain
Words and Music by Haldor Lillnas 1917
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May. 12, 2007 - Leaving my Homeland...
Well folks I'm gonna have to say Goodbye for a long while, not just yet, but soon enough!
It may or may not shock some of you but I am leaving for a 9 month Mission Trip to the Philippines. I'm going to be teaching kindergarten & 1st graders. I sent in my application 3 weeks ago and I just got the 'green light' acceptance last week. So I am getting ready to leave. I'll be leaving on the 11th of June!! I have just four weeks to get ready! I've got lots to do and I won't have internet over there so not many updates either. A friend and I are going together and we may end up in the same village or different ones, I'm not to sure yet. But at any rate there is lots of planning to do and I'm very excited about this opportunity to see where God leads.
Please Keep me and the trip in your prayers!
Kelsey
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