August 29, 2006 - Hospitality These Days???

The past few weeks, I’ve written mostly about raising our children to be leaders, not just followers.  I decided to share some thoughts about hospitality this week.  You may wonder how hospitality ties in with leadership education or homeschooling.  I think it has everything to do with homeschooling our children.  It may not be an academic subject, but it is absolutely necessary to raise our children to lead in a Godly manner.  Hospitality can be the impetus to change communities.  How can this hospitality change communities?

HOSPITALITY

   What is hospitality?  Should you even spend time practicing the art of hospitality?  Several years ago I read the book Hospitality Commands.  Christians need to show hospitality in this day and age.  I believe hospitality is one of the best and most subtle ways to influence others.  Around the dinner table or your living room, conversation can be real and honest.  Leaders use meals and social events to influence those around them.  Why not use the power of a feast or party to encourage and change the community where you live...starting with your neighbors and friends?  

   Let brotherly love continue.  Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.   Hebrews 13:1-2

   In today's society it is so easy to get wrapped up in our own little world.  We go about our business, without truly thinking of others.  Oftentimes, we are involved in so many programs or ministries that we "forget" to be involved in others' lives. 

   Activities and productivity have replaced relationships in many people's lives.  Is this true in your life?  This ought not to be.

    It is a sad fact, but "hospitality" and involvement in other lives is becoming a lost art today.  Hospitality takes effort and is often put on the back-burner.  From the verses above you should see that hospitality is to be a priority in your life.  You might ask, "How can I squeeze one more thing into my busy schedule?"  My answer is, “You can’t!!”

So what do you do?

  I suggest dropping some activities and replacing it with relationships.  Make time to spend with other families.  Below are some quick tips to show hospitality.

1.  START SIMPLE

Once you make the time to invite others to your home, begin with something simple.  You might serve dessert and coffee.  Dessert is simple and your children can even help you make it.  (They might even make it all by themselves). 

2.      FORGET THE WHITE GLOVE TEST

Remember that your home does not have to pass the "white glove test", but you do want to pass the pig sty test!  I want my home to be tidy when others arrive, but it is far from perfect when we have families to our home.  What I discovered is that my visitors are much more interested in visiting than inspecting the cleanliness of our home. In other words...RELAX!

3.      FELLOWSHIP AT THE TABLE  (not the restaurant table)

Conversing with friends and family around the dinner table is such a sweet time of fellowship.  These are times that build relationships.  You might say "Well, I'll just invite my friends out to a restaurant for a visit".  I can't explain it, but there is a different atmosphere visiting in someone's home than visiting at a restaurant. 

I enjoy going out to eat and being relieved of meal preparation.  But, the blessings I receive after entertaining another family in our home far outweigh the conveniences of going out to eat.  After having friends over for dinner, Steve & I usually wake up the next morning and discuss how much we enjoyed our visit and hope we can be with that family/college student again soon.

4.  INVOLVE YOUR CHILDREN

   As your children grow up, it should be your hope and prayer that they will learn how to entertain others and feel comfortable in doing so.  In an effort to train your children, give them opportunities to help you prepare for visitors.  Our children are learning which areas of our house (usually the dining room, bathrooms and kitchen) need to be cleaned before others arrive.  Since they help me do this often, they know what I expect.  This is a training process so they will be prepared to show hospitality in their own homes some day. 

Not only should your children learn to clean before others visit, they should learning to bake, cook and prepare meals for others.  Do NOT plan 5-course gourmet meals when you entertain...We sure don't!  Most of your meals should be simple soeveryone can help with part of it.  I find that most college students that come to our house don't even know how to prepare simple meals.  They usually eat out for most meals.  We are in the process of making sure that does not happen with our own children. 

Finally, remember that young children can place the napkins around the table or add ice to the drinks.  Let them help...I'm sure they want to!

You might be surprised how much you & your children enjoy others in your home and enjoy the closer relationships you form by showing hospitality to others.

5.  ENTERTAIN STRANGERS

Not only are we to show hospitality to those we enjoy, we are to entertain strangers.  This is where I begin to feel quite convicted from God's Word.  I must confess that I do not have strangers over very often.  One way I hope to put this verse into practice is to have newcomers in our church over for a meal.  This will serve a multitude of purposes, including hospitality. 

6.  DON’T OVERDO

If hospitality is something new to you, don't overdo it and burn out.  We try to have a family or college students to our homes twice a month.  We have been entertaining for years, so it is normal for us to have visitors that often.  If you are just starting to invite over visitors and try to entertain once a week, you WILL GROW WEARY and QUIT!!!  Take it EASY!

7.  MAKE A LIST

To get started, make a list of those you want to get to know a little better and start at the top.  It may take you the rest of the year to get with each family, but that's okay.  Remember to keep it simple and involve your children.

8.  RECIPROCATE

My Mom taught the rule of reciprocity to me and now I am teaching it to my children.

One of the hardest lessons my children (& I) have learned is that other families don’t have the same expectations of hospitality.  My kids know the rule of reciprocity, as we have put it into action for many years.  When someone invites you to their home for dinner or a party, you should reciprocate.  This doesn’t mean you call them up for dinner the next weekend.  BUT, it does mean you should have them over to your home as a way of saying thank you.  Be sensitive to others and be sure to include them when you have socials.  We all like the treat of going to someone else’s home for a meal.  Be sure you return the favor in the form of a meal or party. 

If hospitality is not your gift, I encourage you to read I Peter 4:9
 

   be hospitable to one another without grumbling

God wants all of his children to show hospitality to others, not just those who have the “gift” of hospitality.  Hospitality does not need to be a drudgery (and it shouldn't be).
 

        For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.  (Matthew 11:30)

God tells us to be hospitable to others and He DOES give us the strength and ability to do so. 

   As a closing note, I must give credit to whom credit is due.  God has truly used my mother as a superb example of hospitality.  She is one of the major reasons that I relish having families in our home.  What I know about hospitality I am sure I learned from her as we grew up having many families in our home over the years!  Thanks Mom!

I know many of you have great ideas to show hospitality.  Please leave a comment about what you do in your home.  One of the comments will receive a surprise in a week!

Blessings,

Kerry Beck

….who can’t wait to tell you about her new book – a must for any parent!

category:

August 29, 2006 - Hospitality

August 30, 2006 - hospitality

October 10, 2006 - hospitality commands