Each day I'm amazed on how daily life can both be mundane and exciting at the same time.  Life with children has its mundane daily moments - you get them up, give them breakfast then tell them to stop fighting at the table.  You encourage them to stop picking at their nose and instead to pick up their things would be nice.  It never seems to end...actually it never will end while they are young. 

However along with the daily mundane comes "moments" best captured with pictures.  That's my defense to my sanity.

I often don't see how special each day is until I look back at the pictures I've taken of the mundane moments of life.  I watch my kids just enjoy life as they hold their pets, their toys and their smiles at me.  Sometimes I don't get a smile, but a frown - I snap away regardless.  I find much comfort looking back at the pictures captured yesterday wondering how such a simple thing as sleeping can capture the beauty of my child's soul.  The simple pleasure of holding a pet brings light into their day and then you remember what life is about.  Children being what they were made to be - children.  Yes, they mess and make mistakes, but they also love and explore their world.  I hope my daily pictures of their lives show their childhood in just that light. 

Cry, Cry, Cry...

Feed, Feed, Feed...

Change, Change, Change...

Time, Time, Time...

Cute, Cute, Cute...

Cuddle, Cuddle, Cuddle...

Love, Love, Love!

What else is there to say?  The fifth little life into our family and what a ride so far!  Last time I traveled down this road, my oldest was one month shy from turning 7 years old and only in 1st grade.  Now he's in 6th grade and I have a 4^th, 2^nd and pre-schooler!  Life is busier than ever, and filled with schedules to keep and people to teach.  The last time I traveled down this road I thought it was rough, but now there are many more potholes along the way!

Luckily, along with older kids in the mix who need more time in school, I also have many more hands who love to hold the newborn baby.  That makes life not only bearable, but wonderful.  To see your older children interact with a newborn is something I thought I'd never see - and that I especially enjoy!  What a wonderful experience that has been.  I still can't believe that at my age I'm a new mother - again.

Please enjoy the new pictures I posted at  http://www.flickr.com/photos/40626232@N00/   of our new baby boy.

     Well, this has been my story.  When life seems to calm down - WHAM! - something happens!

     Finally, no diapers and then I get pregnant at 40 years old.  I'll be 41 when this next boy is born and he's due two days after Christmas!   Rebekah was born the day after Christmas.  I guess it's another busy Christmas season for us!  Of course, there is homeschooling in my LAST TRIMESTER, and I've been tired almost every day.  I'm good for about 3 hours in the morning, and then I need a good nap.   

     And yes, our home is for sale.  Though this is the worst time to try to sell our home, if the Lord wants to sell it, I'm sure it will.  Then we will have so many homes to choose from!  We trust the Lord is saving or preparing the home he wants us to have at His time.  Actually, we are not in a rush to sell and 'get out of here.'  We love our home but we just know in the future we will be in need of another bedroom and Michael could sure use an office of his own since he has been working from home since January.  We just need more space since we will be a 7 person family that is home together - working, schooling, playing - almost 24/7.  The home is getting a bit small, but we are OK for now, so not in a rush.  If it doesn't sell by the beginning of December, we won't be trying again until after the baby is born and into the early Spring.  The Lord knows the details and our future and it is in His hands who holds our future!

     Michael is still going through school online, the boys are still in Scouts, and we are soon starting performing arts & music school.  Life is SUPER busy, but it's all OK.

     Jesus is whom I holding on to.  His power and His promise that He will work things out according to His glory and his good pleasure.  Tha's my stronghold at times of stress and fatigue.

     On a different note, just last weekend we went to the Henry Ford Musum and had a wonderful time.  That is such a wonderul place to go and so educational.  There are so many pieces of history there, it is so worth the trip!  Highlights include JFK's car he was killed in and other presidental cars, The Weinermobil, The first ford car, Wright Brothers Shop & home, Thomas Edison's lab, and so much more!  What a place!  I will be posting picture on flickr soon on these.

     Tomorrow, we will be painting the basement white to cheer and lighten it up.  Right now it is a light cream color, but it always feels dingy down stairs to me.  Michael has put a new floor in our upstairs bathroom, and we are slowly doing more work on the home to help improve our chances of people wanting to buy it.  But if it doesn't happen right away, we will then be able to enjoy our improvements for a while.  There is no problem with that!

     This is an amazing video that is a MUST SEE! 

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5

     Oh my, where to start?  Homeschool is underway and so it a new baby coming at Christmas and a possible move when our house is sold.  So many changes and right at the beginning of school!  Yipes!

     More on that later.

The following is NOT the traditional story about becoming a butterfly, but it IS a new point of view of already being a battered butterfly.

     This late summer we had the privledge of raising a monach caterpillar.  My friend Rachel gave us one that had hatched from an egg that morning.  I had no idea how to raise it, but with Rachel's guidance, we were able to watch it grow from a speck on the table to a 2" long very hungry caterpillar.  Unlike the popular children's book, they DON'T eat just anything.  They only eat milkweed (and they enjoy a watermelon snack) in which I had to drive a mile away, get some from a field and put a supply in the fridge.  At the end of her caterpillar life, she was consuming about 1 milkweed leaf daily. 

     I had her in a very small jelly jar during this time but I could tell it was getting close to the time for her metamorphosis.  So I made a larger habitat for her with two sticks and some milkweed so she could roam around and find a place to hang in her chrysalis.  Would you believe she decieded to hang from just the side of the plastic cage?  Like a spider, she spun silk that stuck like glue to a plastic side. I didn't even need to put those sticks in there and I dare touch the cage in fear she would fall.

     Well, what began as a science experiment, then turned into a spiritual lesson.

     About two weeks later, she came out.  That's when I knew she was a girl - she was light colored, on the small size with no black spot on the back hind wings.  She was beautiful!  I was told the first 24 hours they are not hungry so I could keep her and watch her before I let her go - so I did.  But when we attempted to set her free, she couldn't fly!  WHY?  The poor thing just fluttered on the floor.  Then I noticed her wings had not formed straight but curved.  I suppose the sticks I left in her cage prevented her from spreading her wings straight when they were drying.  How would I have known?  I had been afraid touch the cage when she was changing because it seemed like she was just hanging from a thread on the side and I didn't want to chance her chrysalis from falling.  I thought I was doing the right thing!

     I contacted an online monarch association whom explained that her wings are pumped and dried within the first 10 minutes.  I was sleeping then when that happened.  The best thing I could do for her was to keep her indoors and give her a sponge with Juicy Juice and every other day put her on outside flowers so she could drink necter and not ferment. 

     Well, for the past 3 weeks that is what I have been doing.  I guess you could say, we have a pet butterfly!  All the kids can hold her and she climbs on them.  They take turns helping her to get on a patch of flowers in our bed and when she falls, we pick her up again and put her back on the flowers.  We check on her every half hour or less and often she is struggling on the mulch and sometimes she is 10-20 feet away in the middle of the lawn!  Sometimes I have to call the kids to help me find her.  Josiah loves her the most and has named her "Cutie."

     The other day when I was out there, two perfectly formed butterflies came prancing over my mangolias almost in a playful game of love catch.  I watched them and pondered, "What a sad little life our little butterfly has".  She has never known the company of another caterpillar or butterfly, nor will she ever know what it is like to use her wings and be what she was created for - to fly free!  She tries and tries, but struggles on the floor and in the meantime her wings are slowly being ripped to shreds, which just make things worse for her.  But now, after 3 weeks, sometimes it seems when I put her on a flower she has learned not to fly.  She will just sit there for a while.  When she does try to fly and falls, if she is close to a flower, she struggles to climb up the stem to the top.  The flower stems get in the way of her flapping wings, hindering her, making it difficult to climb, and further destroying her beautiful wings.  Not only that, but the amount of energy she puts out with all that useless flapping on the ground, makes her even more tired and hungry for nectar in the end.

     Though I feel my ignorace has made her in this condition, still she would have been dead within a few days if it weren't for me taking care of her.   And I always make sure my 3 cats are INSIDE when she it outside feeding on flowers and fluttering on the ground.

     I feel God using this butterfly experience for me at this time in my life.  I feel like I am meant to fly, but the things of this world have caused my wings to not grow straight.  I struggle on the earth's floor, fluttering madly - wanting flight, but in the process my wings are getting battered.  I would have died if it were not for the Loving hand of the Lord who picks me up and brings me to the high places of beauty where I can feed and get refreshing nourishment.  There often, like my handicp surrendered butterfly, I may sit on the flower and not try to fly for a while.  Instead I sit quietly, soaking the fact that I'm where I need to be and God is providing for me.  But then I want to break free I begin trying to fly on my own again.  I can't!  I am still handicap with the scars of sin on my wings.  As I flap my wings on the floor, I use up so much God-given energy and it just makes me more hungry in the end.  God gently, picks me up again, and brings me back to the place of His provision.  There, back on the top of my flower, I feel like a butterfly.  There and only there, do I feel like a butterfly.

     God is speaking to me that throughout this pregancy (being 41 years old) and trying to sell our home.  He says that if I care so much to keep a poor little butterfly alive, who has a life-span of no more than 6 weeks, won't He do the same and much more for me who is His child and that he bought with his blood and whose soul is eternal?

     Though my sorrow goes out to my little butterfly, she's probably the most loved butterfly in all Medina County.  Unknowingly to her, we love her.  We talk to her, hold her, provide for her, and when she seems done with the nectar from the flower patch, we take her in and put her in a very large plastic clear container with a sponge of Juciy Juice and fresh flowers and grass to make her feel at home.  Oh, she flutters and doesn't like it - she wants to be free outside to roam, but there are hidden dangers outside.  She knows nothing about being on the ground and we are protecting her.  Not only from our cats, but other critters that roam plus streets she could go into.

      Again, this reminds me of the Lord.  Often, after an experience of pleasureable provision from the Lord (like the butterfly on the flower), I begin struggling again and this time the Lord seems to put me in a boxed enviorment with provisions.  Oh, I often don't see the provisions.  I only see that I am boxed in and want to get out.  The box is see-through so I am able to see what I want outside God's provision, but the Lord keeps me in to protect me from the outside unknown dangers that I am unable to see.  I need to stay satisfied with what God has provided. "Godliness with contentment is great gain," (1 Tim. 6:6)

     And do you think this butterfly has a clue that I'm trying to help it?  Well frankly, I am not sure.  Sometimes she seems that she knows me and clings on to me and other times she seems like it just wants to escape and fly.  Often I say to her, "Hey, don't you know I'm trying to help you?"

     I'm sure God feels the same way about me.  How many times does it seem that all I want to do is cling on the Lord, but then shortly after I try to do things my way when God is saying in the background, "Hey, don't you know I'm trying to help you?"

     The lifespan of a summer butterfly is anywhere between 2-6 weeks and we have had this one for 3 weeks now.  I think we are doing pretty well, don't you think?  Maybe the Lord is keeping her alive just to teach me more through taking care of this helpless, and often seemingly ungrateful butterfly.

     So, this has been my butterfly experience.  Today I noticed that her wings are almost gone on one side and her color is faded.  My heart cries out for the lost beauty of this little one but after 3 weeks of watching her struggle to be what she is suppose to be yet never taking flight, if she could understand I have this to say to her:   

You are battered, but loved;

Fragile but protected

Your beauty has faded but you speak volumes of the beauty of the Lord.

     The Lord is taking care of us daily!  Taking care of you daily!  We don't see it and often we struggle to try to take care of ourselves (as the world tells us to do).  Maybe you now see yourself with curved wings and are unable to fly the way you want to.  Perhaps you are someone who has been struggling and since then your wings have become battered and maybe even almost completely destroyed by the world.  Remember that your Heavenly Father in Heaven sees, knows and will take care of you.  Stop trying to fly when you were meant to walk.  We will all have our wings to fly (figuratively speaking - not like angels) when we get to heaven and see Jesus face to face and become like Him.  For now, I think we ALL are handicap butterflies with battered wings who just want to take flight in spiritual truths.  Our sin keeps us fluttering on this earth, destroying our wings in the process and leaving us tired and hungry for God even more.  Become a butterfly who is surrendered to the provision of the Master's Hand.  Learn to gain nourishment and sit quietly on God's provided flowers of your own and soak in the SON!

     To see photos of our pet butterfly journey, please check out http://www.flickr.com/photos/40626232@N00/sets/72157602134520062/ and then press select "View as slideshow" on top right-hand side and then when it's done loading, click the "i" icon in the middle of the first picture and it will display the text descriptions with the pictures of our journey thus far.  You can use your mouse pointer to navigate the slide show by pressing the arrows to the right & left-hand sides. Please enjoy them!

     One more thing...sad but true...ironically, the day after I wrote this (now Monday at 1pm), we went outside to find the butterfly, and it was gone.  All the kids joined in trying to find it because with the few fallen leaves, she looks more like a leaf than a colorful butterfly.  But with much searching, we are unable to find her.  Our cats are in, but perhaps some other mishap has happened to her.  Josiah is crying for his "Cutie" as if he has lost a dear friend.  It is strange how the Lord pressed on my heart to write this insightful parable of the butterfly, and then seem fit to take it out of our lives the next day.  But the lesson I have learned and memory of "Cutie" will live in our hearts and minds forever.

It’s been a crazy year and that is the reason for the large amount of time that has passed since the last posting.

In January we had Abby live with us, a senior high school honors student.  Her family went to Morocco because her father went there to teach Middle East Studies and the entire family went with him, except for Abby.  She, instead, decided to stay behind so she can end her Senior High Year of homeschooling here and be involved with Speech and Debate Club.  She also had an honor’s class in CSU.  I helped her to pass her drivers test during the time she stayed with us and the kids feel in love with her (and her two parakeets she brought with her).  She got accepted into the honors program at CSU with a full scholarship for all 4 years.  I don’t know how she did it but she is a smartie!  She wants to study language and become a translator somewhere on the mission field.  Maybe for Wycliffe??

She left in mid June and then we had a family live with us for two months.  The Newfields are on their way to Africa to become missionaries and the wife is about to have their 3^rd baby.  They decided it be better to live with other people who were closer to his work so I didn’t get to experience the miracle of birth in my house.

It’s been a crazy first part of the year, but I’m hoping the next part will be easier.  I went to my first ever homeschooling convention which gave me great tools and ideas of how/what to teach this year.  I’m looking forward for a great school year with the kids.

One thing I have learned is to relax…take it easy.  Make sure they know how to read…make sure they know how to write…make sure they know how to do math…and the rest…just show them how to love to learn.  Life is an ongoing, never stopping journey of learning and education.  Much of what we learn and is useful really is never taught in school…but it’s experienced in life.  I want my children to learn from life experiences and I’m hoping to make each subject into that this year.  Field trips, lots of library books to read and enjoy, videos about history, science and culture and whatever comes their way that will teach them about our wonderful (but sometimes scary) world around us. 

So though this first half of the year was filled with much of helping others as they lived with us, we were truly blessed to have our guests!  We always love guests!  Our door is always open to friends!

Hey, I'm new at this.  In fact, I really didn't know what a blog was until I looked it up on Google.com and found out that I should be writing something about what's happening.  So, I guess I will. 

You will find more pictures on my Weblog than word entries simply because through the use of photography is how I express myself and remember my past.  As a teen, when time seemed limitless, a journal was my best friend.  However, as time now seems scarce, photography is my journal.  Thus, in my life, pictures do speak a thousand words.  I hope you enjoy them.

Today in homeschooling, as usual right now, it seems like there are never enough hours in the day to get everything done.  With two little ones not yet in school, it is difficult to keep them happy and go on having quality time with the older ones who still need my help and who are not yet independent.  Homeschooling young ones are fun, but challenging.  I have felt that God will help me with the challenge.  Nothing of true value in a life comes easily, but only that which is difficult to achieve and takes hard work.  The outcome of what is fought for in ones life through a challenge will become like pure gold and silver in one's life.  Homeschooling is like that.  Sometime I feel like I want to give up.  Sometimes I feel like a failure and that there is nothing left in me to give.  But when I ask for God's help, his guidance, his mercy, grace, wisdom and strength, then renewal comes from above and I can soar again.  I'm fighting for the homeschooling experience in my family - not with my family but with my own shortcomings.  The fight is within me and the battle is doing what is right over what I would like to be doing.  That is the front lines which I am in daily.  Is this worth fighting for?  Yes indeed, and once on this path for me and my family there is no turning back.  Fighting for a close-knit family system of homeschooling is worth it in this day of age.  And I know the pay-off won't be until later in life when my little ones grow up and begin lives of their own outside the nest that has been built around their growing experience here.  My entire house permeates "children live and are growing here."  There are casualties of the war I'm fighting between doing what is right for homeschooling, and doing what I wish to do all around me.  What I wish is to keep and spot-free home, but the casualties of homeschooling are toys and papers scattered in every room.  What I wish is to have time for me to be creative just for fun, but the casualties are putting that aside to pull out crayons, glue and construction paper to make paper crafts.  What I wish is to have time just to relax and read for myself, but the reality of the war that rages inside of me is that also needs to be put aside and the reading of Green Eggs and Ham and Usbornes World History is better fit to be read at this time of life to my fellow little soldiers.  The war rages on in my home, my life, but again, only that which I truly fight for is ever really worth the fight.  Happy homeschooling!