Ah, so here we go: my brilliant sister got these awards up for me, though, of course I would have figured it out myself....right? Oh boo-hoo, I am SO incompetent when it comes to HTML, that it almost hurts me to see my sister rattle it off--I'm kidding, of course!

Oh, do you know, my birthday is in almost two weeks! (The 25th) I will be thirteen! A teenager! And that is NOT a bad word! It is how it's used. I am excited, but not because I'm entering my teens, or because I get presents, or because us children get a school holiday on birthdays, though I look forward to those things very much, but because I get to have another year to serve the LORD! And my wonderful friend Jocelyn remembered and acknowledged it on the VirtuousMaidens blog! Oh, she is so sweet! Still, with the big one-three, comes the exclusion of all those reduced price ranges for ages 6-12 when you go to a resturant! Oh, well. That's the only thing to lose, so look on the bright side!

Ah, yes, and before I pass it off as "okay" I would like to formally, officially and sincerely apologize for my HUGE absence and 'same-old entry'. Goodbye to "Regular Blogger Reputation"! I could at least say, "I'm sort of busy at this time, so I won't be able to get back to you for a while..."! I'm sorry.

Oh, and for the record, before anybody starts looking up to me as a role model, may I say what I struggle with? I struggle with laziness--no really! I don't even--well, I've already started so I might as well let it all out--sweep the floor everyday, I don't load the dishwasher everyday, I certainly don't make my bed everyday, and our (Corn's and I) laundry hamper is a joke! I am NOT a good example of a helpful daughter, and some girls my age could even run their own households! I'm turning thirteen on the 25th, and "turning a new leaf" is harder than ever. What do I have to offer Jesus at the end of my twelfth year of life??? A bedroom that hasn't been vacuumed for weeks? Irregular reading of the Word, and even when I do, I barely think about it for the rest of the day? Sure, some verses stick and remind, but that's rare. Guilt at seeing my friends at church who do their jobs regularly and are diligent on a regular basis? And usually, they do it because they want to! Whereas me, when Mommy asks me to clean the bathroom, rage and "It's not fair!" churn inside of me.

I pray consistently for God to change me, but I've started to wonder--especially after this week's sermon from our pastor--do I really expect God to do all the work? Yes, and why shouldn't I? The Bible says that we need to surrender ourselves to Him and He will change us, right? Note to self: Excuse me, Mariel, but haven't you noticed that the Bible also says, "We must decide to follow Him?" God isn't going to spoonfeed us/me. Do I expect him to? Yes, of course, I can't do it. Pardon? God gave you free will, and when you get mad at your siblings or at your mother, that is your choice. In the same way, we need to choose to listen to God, to allow him to sculpt us. Sure, I want him to change me, no question, but we have to ask, is wanting always doing? No, it is not. I. Must. Allow. Him. The sooner I realize that, the better. Thank you, Bloggers. You are all SO encouraging!

Oh, and next post will be about the "Nice Matters" award, that Kylie gave me. And what she said about me almost made me cry! I love you, Kylie!

Love from Within,

~Mariel~