For most of us, the biggest hindrance to hospitality is the, shall we call it, untidy state of our home.  Personally, I like to plan to have people over a couple times a month as it forces me to clean!  But, it would be a lot less stressful if we could just learn to manage the "stuff."  I found this great article on de-cluttering, so my next baby step is this -- start to de-clutter.  Pick a room.  Make it a public room.  You can always close your bedroom door if someone stops by!  So I liked this "5 box" idea.  Give it a try.

5 Boxes, a Bag, and a List

Sorry I haven't posted on this topic in a while.  I have more ideas, but we are moving at the end of August, and just finished up a week of VBS, so life is crazy.  Needless to say, I need to do some decluttering myself!

Blessings,

Barb

Just invite people to walk along with you in your everyday life.  No special planning required, as long as you perhaps have space in the car.

We've invited our nephew to go along with us this year on our annual homeschool camping trip.  And my niece is coming over for the weekend and travelling downstate with us to a graduation party.  Both children are not homeschooled, and I think sometimes it's nice for them to see how a family that is not always age segregated functions.

Even just inviting another mom to meet you at the grocery store or WalMart to cruise the ailes together as you run your errands can be a wonderful time of fellowship.  (I admit not having done this as my whole gang is usually along.  But I think I'll have to give it a try.)

We have a membership to the local zoo and it includes admission for 2 adults, 4 children, and 1 guest.  We also receive extra guest passes upon renewal.  So we're always inviting someone or some-two to go along (especially since DH is usually working, I can have someone go in his place as well as the guest included in the membership).

If we go out to dinner after church, we often tell another family or two where we're going and ask if they're interested.  No one expects us to pay.  We're just enjoying the time together around the table.

Our church's youth director is often working in the building around dinnertime and has often joined our family table.  Though I admit that now having a 14yo who eats LOTS requires me to remember to thaw out more than one bag of chicken breasts at a time.  The one I cooked for dinner last night only have 5 in it.  It amazingly sufficied as the little ones didn't each much, but . . .need to be prepared.  There was only a half breast left.  Didn't allow me to pack leftovers for my uncle. :-) 

Basically, it's just having an open door -- or an open heart, however you want to define it!

Blessings,

Barb

This one takes a small bit of planning, but is really rather simple.  Just make extra.  If you're making a casserole, make and freeze and extra one.  Or honestly, even leftovers.  My husband is a chef (and honestly, before you get overwhelmed thinking, "Oh, this is surely easy for them," think again.  That honestly has nothing to do with it.  We don't cook fancy at home.  We both grew up on comfort food in homes with moms who never let anyone enter their homes without offering sustenance and never let anyone leave their homes hungry.)  Anyway, as I was saying, my husband is a chef and brought home some leftover soup and stew that they'd made for staff lunch today, so we dropped it off at an elderly couple's home.  If the thought of giving people leftovers bothers you, just make extra and put some aside before putting the food on your family's table.  I also packed up some leftovers from dinner tonight for my elderly uncle.  It's really simple.  Just takes a little bit of thinking about others and how they could use what you have a surplus of!

I would love your input for my survey:   Hospitality Survey.

Blessings,

Barb

This one is really easy -- pack up some snacks or, if you want to do more, a picnic lunch.  Include a blanket.  Invite a friend to the local park, and provide enough snacks to share.

Don't forget to take my hospitality survey:  Hospitality Survey.

Blessings,

Barb

This one is easy, I hope.  But it will get you on your way to developing a habit of hospitality.

BAKE SOMETHING

If you have a bread maker, bake a loaf of bread.  If you have a favorite muffin recipe, bake those (even baking a loaf is easier).  If you're not much of a home baker, buy a mix from Aldi -- blueberry muffins, brownies, a cake mix, break apart cookies, whatever.  Nicer bread machine or quick bread mixes can be found at your grocery store.  Even an already made apple pie (ala Mrs. Smith).  But bake it at home.  

(I don't suggest a 9x13 cake unless you have a disposable pan.  Brownies can be easily cut and put on a plate.  Muffins and cookies and cupcakes, too.  You don't want to have to worry about getting your plate back.  Use disposable.)

Then, take it to someone.  An elderly person in your church, a neighbor, the librarian or grocery store clerk who always serves you, your postal worker.

Don't forget to take my hospitality survey:  Hospitality Survey.

My new favorite bread is in the bread maker right now, kneading away.  I may have to make another as soon as it's done, because keeping my kids away from it will be difficult.  That's a thought, too, don't forget, perhaps as you're baking cookies for someone else, include a few for your own family.  They need to be shown hospitality, too! :-)

Blessings,

Barb

OK, so I created a survey to identify reasons we're not practicing hospitality, isolate barriers to hospitality, and determine what helps people need to develop this area of ministry.

If you practice hospitality in your home a couple times a month or less, I would greatly appreciate your input.  In case I'm "preaching to the choir," I'd also appreciate if you'd forward this link to your friends.

CLICK HERE TO TAKE SURVEY

My goal is to provide whatever encouragement and assistance I can for people seeking to grow in the ministry of hospitality.

Blessings,

Barb

We were talking with pastor the other day about the lack of community -- real Christian community -- amongst the members of our church.  Sure, there are pockets of it, but as a whole, we are so disconnected.

I truly, honestly believe the answer is HOSPITALITY.  Let's be honest, passing each other in the halls on  Sunday, sitting in pews which all face forward -- these are not how community is built.  The 1st century church had the answer -- they met in each other's homes, they broke bread and ate together.  I love this section in Acts 2 because it shows the impact of community.  The impact was that God added to their number daily.  Wow!  How attractive would the church be to outsiders if we truly lived like this?

So I wonder, why don't more people practice hospitality?

Blessings,

Barb

Please note that I just include these for informational purposes and not because I agree with things said elsewhere on these sites.  Consider these food for thought.

http://dory.typepad.com/wittenberg_gate/2004/11/christian_hospi.html

http://www.mennovision.org/Vol%203%20No%201/Pohl_Hospitality.pdf

10-page excerpt from Pohl's book.

http://www.lifeway.com/lwc/article_main_page/0,1703,A%253D150124%2526M%253D50019,00.html

http://www.goodmanson.com/2007-08/13/making-room-recovering-hospitality-as-a-christian-tradition/

I like the included quote by Francis Schaeffer.

http://cbumgardner.wordpress.com/2007/11/25/christian-love-and-christian-hospitality/

http://assembling.blogspot.com/2007/03/hospitality-and-home.html

The above article questions whether the home should still be the "base" for hospitality.  And while I agree that hospitality is not limited by any means to having people in your home, I feel that in-home hospitality increases what I'll call the "vulnerability" level -- we have to be "real" in our homes, there is not much room for pretention or putting on masks.  We need to be willing to open up.  Still, he raises a good point that today, many would view invitations to our homes with skepticism.  So perhaps, start out with a trip to the park or the local ice cream shop and transition to the home.

http://sites.silaspartners.com/CC/article/0,,PTID314526%7CCHID598014%7CCIID2292272,00.html

I liked this one -- lots of Biblical references, Old and New Testament.

http://www.ixmarks.com/CC/article/0,,PTID314526%7CCHID598014%7CCIID2292274,00.html

Three examples/testimonies

http://www.wr.org/media/pdf/hospitality.pdf

A short 7-day devotional by World Relief on hospitality.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/heart/homeandhospitality/

A list of hospitality-related articles on Today's Christian Woman.  (Didn't read them all.)

http://www.cellchurch.info/Articles/hospitality.htm

I liked this one, too.

http://www.christianaction.org.za/articles_ca/2005-1-Hospitality.htm

Blessings,

Barb

Speaking of Karen Ehman, I heard her speak recently and she reminded us to not forget to offer hospitality to those most important people, those we live with.  This struck home as I put a table cloth on the table before dinner the other day and my 3yods said, "Mom, is someone coming?"  Ouch!

As I think about this, I see how it is easy for us all to neglect this area.  Not because we don't desire to be kind to our family, but even as a way to fight against the "gimmies" and "I wants," and in an effort to make good guests of our kids.  We certainly don't want them visiting other people's houses and demanding that their hosts provide them with a drink or wait on them hand and foot.  And certainly, as they grow, there is a certain amount of autonomy that is desirable -- and needed if a household of multiple children isn't going to run Mom ragged.  I would expect a child of six to be able to get him/herself a glass of water or, after asking permission, get a granola bar out of the snack bin.

Some of the "good guest" skills I would want to develop in my own children are the following:

• cleaning up any messes you've made before you leave
• not touching things that you shouldn't be touching; respect for other people'e belongings
• responding appropriately and politely when spoken to
• asking politely if you want or need something
• to offer help to the hostess (in passing out refreshments, etc.)
• to adapt your behavior to the environment (this, of course, will vary greatly by situation -- for example, if visiting an elderly person in their home, I would not want my children to ask to play on their computer, but at Grandma's house, that's okay; acceptable behavior will be very different when visiting another homeschool family's house than a hospital room or nursing home)
• find ways to keep themselves occupied when in a situation that requires stillness and quiet (i.e., a hospital room)

These skills need to be taught at home.  It is often frustrating to me that the children continually ask for this item or that item after we have all sat down and begun to eat.  This can result in mom jumping up from the table every few minutes while food is growing cold.  While some of these needs may perhaps be ligitimate, it can show disrespect for their "host."  Training them to make sure the table is adequately set for the meal and all necessary items are on the table will lessen the occurence of this happening.  In the same way, I would not want them to expect as a dinner guest at someone's house that they can continually interrupt the meal by asking for one thing after another.

As with many things, balance is the key.  It blesses our children to know they are valued and that Mom doesn't do the extra nice stuff just for everyone else, while they get the leftovers.  At the same time, we need to consciously be careful that we teach our children how to respect others and to be good guests.

Blessings,

Barb

DH took the kids grocery shopping this morning, and I'm "putzing" around the house.  Every time I bend over to pick something up, my head hurts from this sinus headache.  But all in all, I had a better night and do feel better this morning.

Today is dress rehearsal for the church Christmas program, and Katie is playing her violin -- the only song she knows that would fit into the program, "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."  She is excited.  I will try to capture the moment on video/in pictures.

I still need to pick up a bit around here, as we're having an overnight guest -- oh, how I long for a real B&B -- and company for lunch after church tomorrow.  If you don't practice hospitality in your home, let me encourage you to start doing so.  It is a wonderful blessing to you as well as to those you have in your home.  Keep it simple.  We're just having spaghetti and salad and garlic bread tomorrow.  But the fellowship will be wonderful.

Better get back to making a new batch of laundry detergent or there will be dirty laundry still in the hall when our guest arrives! :-)

Blessings,

Barb