Tonight is night #3 with no hubby. Boohoo. I don't know how the brave ladies whose hubbies are away at war do it.

My mom sweetly informed me that ice cream sandwiches have sugar in them. I had, of course, chosen to disregard this fact and shovel several into my mouth while watching tv. Sugar, a fat girl, and pregnancy aren't a good mix...I might end up with another 10 lb 10 oz baby. Ouch!

I will stop eating ice cream sandwiches...just as soon as the last 12 are finished! I'd hate to waste perfectly good ice cream sandwiches. Yummm...

I would be an utterly pathetic single woman. While my hubby is away, I've gotten a glimpse of what my life would be like if I weren't married. I'd pretty much spend my time watching network tv on the internet and eating ice cream sandwiches. At least, that's what I've been doing tonight. I'm snuggled up with my laptop on my bed and the paper wrappings of more than one ice cream conconction on my nightstand.

That kinda single lifestyle would, undoubtedly, assure that I'd remain single. Come to think of it, I have no clue what my husband ever saw in me. :) But I sure do miss him.

In honor of our eighth wedding anniversary yesterday I wanted to write a post on marriage. I had one written out about submission yesterday, but who needs another post about submission (just kidding!) As I lay in bed last night, next to my seriously sunburned hubby, the Lord revealed to me the true secret to a strong marriage...

 BACK RUBS

 Okay, back rubs may not make every marriage stronger. But there is a principle behind it. Early in our marriage I knew that my husband was a touchy-feely kinda guy. .My husband told me how his mother would rub his ears and how his father would stroke his back. This was all very foreign to me, and a little weird. My family wasn't very touchy-feely. So I thought it was strange for a father to rub his son's back.

 But I decided to learn how to rub my husband's back, and do it the best I could. Every night, before we fell I asleep, I conducted my research. I tried different strokes, different pressures, with fingernails, without fingernails. It was serious experimentation! I paid close attention to my new husband's responses, and spent many nights learning how to please him in the backrubbing department. Often, my arm would get so tired that I'd have to prop it up with my other hand. :) My husband definately enjoyed my research.

 After awhile I learned exactly how he liked to be touched in the backrubbing department. But learning took a lot of work. I studied my husband. I made it a priority to learn how to please him. I believe this is the secret to a strong mariiage.

 Find something that pleases your husband, and learn how to do it the best you can. Study him. Really watch him. Make it your job to learn how to please him. Maybe its not a backrub, perhaps its a special meal or an activity. Whatever it is, keep trying until you learn exactly how to please your husband.

 The point is to put your husband's pleasure above your own. Many nights I was tired and didn't want to rub his back. My arms hurt and I just wanted to go to sleep. But part of beng married is dying to self. If we don't put our husband's wishes first, our marriages will never be very strong. Either the wife will always get her way, causing bitterness to grow in her husband. Or the couple will be two ununified people, doing their own things, exploring their own pleasures, and rarely taking the time to please one another.

 So there is your homework. Find something to please your husband. Don't give up untill you have it right. Even if your first attempts totally fail, and he isn't nice about your failure. Keep trying and don't get discouraged.

A young couple that we know was married today.  Congratulations to them.  I cried, of course, because it was a beautiful wedding and the bride was beautiful and the groom was so happy and the message was awesome and the slideshow was great and....I love weddings!

I wish I was a young bride again.  It actually hurts to think that I'm not.  Oh, what has happened to my husband's beautiful bride?  She has vanished behind layers of baby-fat and some not-baby-fat, her face isn't as bright and she looks tired and sloppy a lot.  UGH.  I know I'm buying into Satan lies, but it is so hard to combat these.  I want so badly to beautiful, in the worldly way, not the spiritual-good-personality way.  I just want to be drop dead gorgeous, and thinish (not too thin, I like a littly chub).

In a perverted world of lust and sensuality, it is hard to understand what God intended marital intimacy to look like.  Through an online study at www.healinghearts.org, I have learned that God gave us sex for five different reasons.  In my Bible, I marked these verses in pink, which is my chosen color for any verse that relates to being a woman.  Then I made my own chain-reference. I wrote a note in the margin that explained the verse and then another note that led to the next verse on the list, thus a chain of verses that relates to marital intimacy.  Beside the last verse, I wrote a note that led back to the first.  So that, if I come across the verses in the middle, I can follow my "chain-refernence" full circle.

1. Sex is for creating life (Gen 1:28)

2. Sex is for becoming one flesh (Gen 2:24)

3. Sex is for pleasure (Prov. 5:15)

4. Sex is for defending against temptation (1 Cor 7:2-5)

5. Sex is for comfort (2 Sam 12:24)

I want to tell my husband thanks for being such an awesome man.  I tried to write this last night, but hubby was being nosey...

When we met, I wasn't looking for a husband or a boyfriend for that matter.  God just plopped him into my life.  I could have easily ended up with a lousy man, but HALLELUJAH...he's awesome! 

He's a great provider, he loves our children, he thinks I'm beautiful, and he's very cute!  I've really been extra thankful lately, as I've watched some of the new dads at church deal with becoming a father.  They aren't too excited, in fact they are downright depressing sometimes.  Whenever anyone asks my hubby how he likes fatherhood (or something like that), he always says "Its great.  I love it!."  

It is so easy for me to take him for granted.  He is very easy to please, he just wants me to take care of his boys, keep his house clean, and serve him some form of animal on a plate! 

This topic has been weighing on my heart for quite some time.  What did God intend for s*xual intimacy inside marriage to look like.  In a world where s*x is misused and openly broadcast from every corner, I believe that it is hard, if not impossible, for a husband and wife to come together in complete purity. 

Think of all of the advice that Cosmo and similar magazine gives to women.  They tell us to read romance novels to get in the mood, or to watch p*rn with our husbands to get things exciting.  Well, these things are clearly wrong in God's eyes.  I won't go into this much further, as I believe that any thinking Christian would come up with the same conclusion concerning p*rnography.  However, if you disagree, please comment or email me so I can give you some very clear scripture on this.

Okay, so we don't watch p*rn or read trashy novels, but what about other attitudes and actions that we bring into the bedroom.  I believe there aren't many people, women or men, who haven't been touched by the world's depravity.  Most of us have witnessed p*rn at some point, but even without explicit p*rnography, we see s*xual exchanges in movies and television all the time.  We grab a hold of how the movie portrays s*x and we believe that is the best way, the only way, the "fun" way. 

How much of what we say, what we wear, or what we do during lovemaking comes from the world's view of s*x?  Think about it.  Lingerie is fine, but why do go to lengths to make ourselves look like pr*stitues for our husbands?  Should we promote that desire in our husbands by wearing trashy lingerie?  What do we say during lovemaking?  Does what we say come from something we've seen in a movie?  Does it glorify God?  Do we use language that we wouldn't use in public?

Lovemaking in marriage is supposed to be fun, that is how God intended it to be.  However, in our attempts at making it "fun", or "different", or "exciting" are we spoiling what God has graciously given us?  I welcome thoughts and opinions on this.  I haven't found any great resources for Christians.   One Christian book that I picked up recently left me with a bad taste due to the sheer graphicness and emphasis on the physicality of intimacy.  Please tell me your thoughts.