Living Sacrifice
Aug. 28, 2008

How to Handle Negative Comments

I know HSB recently sent out an email on this topic. I scanned it, but decided I wanted to pray about the issue and let God lead me on how to deal with it.  I also know many bloggers have had to learn how to deal with this. 

We all know the Bible tells us to "rejoice ye in that day and leap for joy" when you are hated, reproached, separated, and called evil for the Son of Man's sake (Luke 6:22-23).  I know that I am a follower of Christ, I know that I know Him, and I know where I stand with Him.  But humanly, it is still difficult to be thought of as evil when attempting to follow wholeheartedly the One who is not.

So, based on a recent string of negative comments, I have decided to post what God revealed to me about how to respond.  This is the scripture that He pressed upon my heart.  It speaks for itself and no further explanation is needed.

Now Korah, the son of Ishar, the son of Kohath, the son of Levi, and Dathan and Abiram, the sons of Eliab, and On, the son of Peleth, sons of Reuben, took men: And they rose up before Moses, with certain of the children of Israel, two hundred and fifty princes of the assembly, famous in the congregation, men of renown: And they gathered themselves together against Moses and against Aaron, and said unto them, Ye take too much upon you, seeing all the congregation are holy, every one of them, and the LORD is among them: wherefore then lift ye up yourselves above the congregation of the LORD?
Oh! This sounds almost exactly like so many of the negative comments, does it not? Same words! Same meaning! Same tone!  I am going to leave any future negative comments--not delete them--and you will see for yourself!

And when Moses heard it, he fell upon his face.
Numbers 16:1-4

And when king David came to Ba-hurim, behold, thence came out a man of the family of the house of Saul, whose name was Shimei, the son of Gera: he came forth, and cursed still as he came. And he cast stones at David, and at all the servants of king David: and all the people and all the mighty men were on his right hand and on his left. And thus said Shimei when he cursed, Come out, come out, thou bloody man, and thou man of Belial: The LORD hath returned upon thee all the blood of the house of Saul, in whose stead thou hast reigned; and the LORD hath delivered the kingdom into the hand of Absalom thy son: and, behold, thou art taken in thy mischief, because thou art a bloody man.

Then said Abishai the son of Zeruiah unto the king, Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? let me go over, I pray thee, and take off his head.  And the king said, What have I to do with you, ye sons of Zeruiah? so let him curse, because the LORD hath said unto him, Curse David. Who shall then say, Wherefore hast thou done so?

And David said to Abishai, and to all his servants, Behold, my son, which came forth of my bowels, seeketh my life: how much more now may this Benjamite do it? let him alone, and let him curse; for the LORD hath bidden him.  It may be that the LORD will look on mine affliction, and that the LORD will requite me good for his cursing this day.
So, that is how I will handle negative comments from now on.  I will fall upon my face before the LORD, in submission and repentance and for Him to reveal and work in me and through me however He chooses, including if that means I retract or correct bad writing or wrong writing.  And, from now on I will leave the cursers "alone" and let them curse, and not delete their comments-- for the LORD has bidden them.   It may  be that God will requite me good for the cursing!  Based on Luke 6:23, He definitely will! And their words will represent their own testimony.

God bless all of you who try to glorify His Holy Name by your exhortations and testimonies on Homeschoolblogger!  Keep striving for Him and for Him alone.  God bless each reader and writer richly.

--Mrs. E
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Aug. 28, 2008

Help Meet Challenge

The women's Bible study I attend recently gave a challenge:  To return to the next study with a list of ways you made an effort to show your husband you cherish him.  That was a very helpful and convicting challenge.  I realized that although I was very happy to be helpful, submissive, forgiving (for the most part except for one recent incident involving a wild turkey that took me a while to get over), conceding, yielding, and supportive--I realized that I did not make efforts to actually show how I love and cherish my husband.  I assumed he would know my love and dedication to him based on my helpfulness. I realized I didn't even know what I could do to show this to my husband.

I prayed.  God revealed to me in His Word that He never actually commands wives to love their husbands, specifically.  He commands me to submit to my husband and to reverence my husband (Eph. 5:33).  The husband is commanded to love the wife, however (Eph. 5:33).  Hmm. I prayed some more.

God did reveal to me several areas where I can grow--ways I can cherish my husband, and He really is teaching me a lot about how to reverence him.  I may explain those things specifically in a future post.  But also during this time, especially after hearing the reports of the other ladies in the group and all the wonderful, sweet things they did for their husbands,  I was reminded of a great "Help Meet Cheat Sheet" that once appeared on a different blog that was always very helpful to me.  There are so many great ideas on there that it keeps me motivated to keep trying to fulfill my God-ordained design and role as my husband's help meet, submissive to him as unto the Lord, and to reverence him.  I am copying it in below.  God bless you, your marriage, and your family, as you seek to fulfill His plan and purpose.

HELP MEET CHEAT SHEET
This is not a checklist, or list of standards; it is just a cheat sheet of ideas.


1.    Refuse to miss a day of Bible Reading
  • Do not read in front of your husband – keep it private to avoid conflicts that some marriage have about "trying to be more spiritual"
2.    Pray before reading your Bible, “Open my eyes, Lord.”
3.    Teach the Word to your children through the course of regular interactions
4.    Make a commitment to prayer.
5.    Make a habit of prayer.
6.    Acknowledge any sin God reveals to you and confess it to the Lord.
7.    Pray for your husband.
  • Pray for God to bless him as the leader of your family.
  • Pray for God to bless him as a man of God.
  • Pray for God to grow him spiritually.
8.    Pray for your children.
  • Pray for them to grow strong in the Lord.
  • Pray for them to be trained up in the way they should go.
  • Pray that you would be able to train them the way God wants you to.
  • Pray for God to bless them.
9.    Seek to know your God-given role as a wife and mother.
  • Find books, sermons on CD or DVD, articles, and blogs while you study and meditate on God’s Word and the teachings that apply to the most important things in your life:  being a wife and mother!
10.    Keep a song of praise in your heart at all times.
11.    Keep a prayer in your mind at all times.
  •  “Lord, be with me at work at this moment and let me be a testimony.”
  •  “Lord, give me the energy to joyfully do my job for just five more minutes.”
  •  “Lord, thank you for the home you have provided me.”
  •  “Lord, thank you for this hot running water.”
  •  “Lord, thank you for a husband and children. Help me to be the wife and mother You want me to be.”
  •  “Lord, bless my child and help her to grow to be a strong Christian.”
  •  “Lord, bless my husband wherever he is at this moment.”
  •  “Lord, I am so angry right now, I’m just going to tell you about it.”
  •  “Lord, I am so hurt right now, I’m just going to tell you about it.”
12.    Study and know your husband.
13.    Be a servant to your husband.
  • Let me get that! (water, keys, coat, shoes, seconds at dinner, ketchup, dessert, the remote, a snack, a tool, etc.)
  • Keep his clothes clean and put away so that they are easy to find.
  • Keep his “area” neat (favorite chair, desk, his side of the bed, his toiletries)
14.    Follow his leadership at the slightest opportunity (where to eat out, how to handle a home situation, whether or not to go somewhere, whether or not to buy something, what to watch on TV, how to fix something, etc.)
15.    Readily accept his advice for any situation and acknowledge that it is good advice, and thank him for it.
16.    Don’t be contentious or resistant to him in your spirit.
17.    Don’t embarrass your husband (your speech, appearance, behavior, neglect of your family or home)
18.    Prepare for his arrival each day (make sure his first perception of the house is that it is clean—even if it’s only the entry way and the area where he sits to relax, have a smile on your face, freshen your hair, clothes, or make-up, have the children clean and occupied, and have a smile on your face.)
19.     Never belittle him or make cutting remarks of any kind, even in jest.
20.    Speak a sincere word of praise or appreciation whenever possible:
  •  “I don’t understand how you can fix that. I’m completely clueless.”
  •  “Thank you for fixing that. I’m so fortunate to have a husband who can do that.”
  •  “Absolutely you made the right decision.”
  •  “You are absolutely right.”
  •  “You couldn’t have handled that (work situation, etc.) better.
  •  “That was very smart.”
  •  “That was totally the right thing to do.”
21.    Meet his gaze showing your love and acceptance of him—do not avert your eyes to show your hurt or disapproval and to punish him.
22.    Respond readily to his physical affection.
  • Do not be stiff when receiving a hug or a kiss.
  • Do not resist physical advances:  Pray instead. God will provide the grace.
23.    Offer a warm hug, a warm smile, and an unexpected kiss of approval and appreciation.
24.    Do not be financially independent. Let him control the finances.
  •  Even if you have always controlled and balanced the checkbook, start checking with him on budget amounts and spending decisions.  Immediately concede to his input of any kind.
  • Look for every opportunity to praise his wise financial decisions.
  • Do not spend money foolishly—make sure he never has to worry about how his wife will spend money.
  • Check with him on any purchase that is not a necessity.
  • Do not argue or resist his financial decisions, even if you know they are bad ones.  Pray instead.  (Your silence and support is actually more powerful of an influence—try it and you will see!)
  • Remember that whatever decision your husband makes, it is God’s will for you.  Your resistance and interference will actually cause more problems.
25.    Do not take matters into your own hands. Defer to your husband’s decisions whenever possible.
26.    Do not be your husband’s conscience.
27.    Do not nag. Ever. It is never a life or death matter.
28.    Show loyalty to him at all times.
  • Never seek counsel outside of him without his approval.
29.    Encourage and wholeheartedly support any idea or goal he shares with you.
30.    Listen with your eyes, your ears, and be aware of your body language.  It doesn’t matter how busy you are. Stop and listen and show him he is important to you and that you support him.
31.    Share his excitement over anything.
32.    Laugh at his jokes
33.    Look at him with admiration when he is around his peers to inspire their respect. (It is your job from the Lord to reverence him and to make him look good at all times.)
34.    Always  seek to make him look successful.
35.    Spend the time and effort needed on your appearance because it shows you reverence your husband.
36.    Dress to please your husband.
37.    Dress modestly so he does not worry that you may be trying to attract other men.
38.    Remember what your husband likes:
  • Cook his favorite meals.
  • Keep his favorite snacks handy.
  • Keep his favorite beverages handy.
  • Wear clothing you know he likes on you.
  • Wear your hair the way you know he likes.
  • Wear a perfume you know he likes.
  • Keep the children quiet, entertained, happy, engaged--whatever he likes!
39.    Care for your clothes and his clothes.  Eliminate unused clothes.
40.    Create order in his environment (one step at a time is fine)
  • Organize the bathroom cabinets
  • Organize his socks and underwear and keep it that way.
  • Make a permanent and tidy place for his pocket stuff (wallet, keys, change, receipts, screws, batteries, business cards).
  • Keep track of his “stuff” however you can
41.    Keep the home free of clutter
42.    Train your children to be neat, clean and organized
43.    Keep a meek and quiet spirit
44.    Do not speak in anger
45.    Stop a backbiting tongue by silence (Proverbs 26:20)
46.    Ask your husband your spiritual questions.
47.    Expect nothing from him (put all your expectation for fulfillment on the Lord, especially in moments where you feel empty or alone)
48.    Do not have the “marriage is teamwork and you’re not pulling your share” attitude. YOU commit 100% to your husband, regardless of how you think he is performing (you will only answer to God in the end for the kind of wife you were to your husband).
49.    Learn to prioritize (quick prayers often clear up moments or days of confusion).
50.    Organize one drawer, shelf, or area a day until your home has a place for everything and everything in its place—then keep it there.
51.    Train the children so that they make him proud.
52.    Train the children to love him and respect him.
53.    Never say a bad word about your husband to your children.  Don’t even suggest in any way to them that he is not the “dad” he should be.
54.    Do not try to solve any of his problems without his consent.
55.    Overlook his faults.
56.    Overlook his little mistakes.
57.    Overlook his big mistakes.
58.    Forgive any offense that hurts you as quickly as you can (urgent prayer will take care of this—pray until you feel your anger subside and your pleasure in your husband return.  At first this may take a few days.  After a while, you will cut it to a few hours.  With continued practice, you will be able to forgive, with prayer and God’s help, within a few minutes to a few seconds)
59.    Remember DAILY back to the beginning of your relationship and all the things that attracted you to him.  Recall the smiles you had for him them and smile them all again.
60.    Stop for one minute and thank the Lord for your husband.
61.    Pray for God to bless your husband as the leader of your home and as the provider for your family.
62.    Smile.
63.    Laugh.
64.    Have joy.
65.    Be lighthearted and create a lighthearted mood in your home.
66.    Make him proud of his home, his wife, and his children.
67.    Make sure that he would be proud to invite his boss to dinner.
68.    Ask him for advice whenever you can, and always take it seriously—and tell him what good advice it is. 
69.    When he tells you about his work, tell him how good he is at his job, in his position, and praise his strengths at work (his leadership, his diligence, his honesty, his integrity).
70.    Try to make all your words positive.
71.    Never talk bad about his friends or coworkers.  Do not affirm when he talks bad about someone. You can nod sympathetically, but do not  verbally agree.
72.    Do not be negative.
73.    Keep your speech clean and pretty—becoming to a lovely wife with a sweet spirit.
74.    Do not correct him.  Especially in front of others. Let it go unless your life is on the line (it really doesn't happen often!)
75.    Do not criticize him about anything.  Not even about a shirt, how his hair looks, how he spends his time, what he spent his money on, or…anything.
76.    Pray for God’s strength and grace whenever—WHENEVER—you feel tired, angry, or that you just can’t do it.  Even if it means praying 2,000 times a day.  All you have to say is one word, “HELP!”  He will.
77.    Pray for God to reveal to you the opportunity to do something on this list whenever possible.
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Aug. 25, 2008

Do You Want a Permanent Vacation?

So many want to be godly wives and mothers. They want an organized home and homeschool. They want godly children who are trained for the Lord.  But, for some, despite all efforts, the house is a mess, the children are wild, schooling and chores are never caught up, the marriage struggles, and there is never, ever, EVER enough time.  Is this you?

Imagine this:

A friend suddenly says you can live in their vacation cabin for one year.  It is tucked away in the woods, on the edge of a beautiful lake, surrounded by hiking trails, wildlife, and picturesque views.  No TV, internet, or cable.  Just a small town about 45 minutes away where there is one large grocery store and a library.

The cabin is empty except for the basic furniture.

So, you pack. 

You pack one set of bed sheets per bed.  One towel and washcloth per family member.

Just the school books you will be working out of for now with the necessary school supplies.

Your Bibles, a hymn book, some journals.

Five changes of clothes and two pairs of shoes per person.

One family game, and one multi-aged toy (Legos or building blocks, perhaps).

That's it.  That's all you take.

Could you "get it all done" while you were at the cabin?

Did you know you can accomplish this same "vacation" state at home?

GET RID OF STUFF!

I cannot stress how important it is to not be attached to STUFF.  Stop the collecting, stop all the toys, the video games, the time and money-wasting hobbies, surfing the internet, shopping through catalogs, yard saling, soccer, karate, TV, running around, co-op classes, swimming lessons, remodeling your home, scrapbooking... JUST STOP!  Click HERE to understand this more.

"BUT!" You wail, "My hobby is important to me. My collection is sentimental!"

Where does Jesus rank in importance and sentimentality?  Would you choose Him over your hobby or your collection?  If you're not able to get it all done and your life is a continual state of chaos, you do not choose Him. You are a slave to your stuff.

"BUT!" You wail, "My Bible study, my church activities, and my fellowship with others are my Biblical calling and are important to furthering God's kingdom!"

Are you a wife?  Then your Biblical calling and priority is to be your husband's helpmeet.  Are you a mother?  Then your Biblical calling is to raise your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  That comes first.  God's plan for growing His kingdom is worked out through the roles He created for men and women and families from the foundation of the world. You will not further the kingdom more by teaching a Sunday School class than you will  by just being who God has designed you and called you to be:  Your husband's wife and your children's mother. The order of priority is critical. If you think you have a calling outside your role as helpmeet and mother, and that "calling" takes away from making your husband and children your top priority, then you are thinking wrong. You have been deceived. Click HERE to read more about Biblical Priorities.

"BUT!" You wail, "My children's toys and video games, and internet, and movies, and TV shows, and super heroes are just fun! You're not against fun! We choose godly things! These things should stay, right?"

Who do your children think is more fun and more cool?  Their Disney princesses and Superfriends?  Or God.  How have you decorated their rooms?  Why do you need them to play so much?  So they will stay busy because you don't have time to train them and be with them?  Does that movie/toy/book/show/game grow them in godly character and bring them closer to the Lord?  If not, how are they growing spiritually?  Click HERE to read more about how you may be training your children in idolatry instead of training them to love the Lord.

"BUT!" You wail, "I just want to raise godly children who love the Lord!  The stuff I own has nothing to do with that!"

Then I ask you to consider your own appetites and the appetites your are creating in your children by the stuff you and they feed on daily.  Click HERE to read more about how to build an appetite in your children for God and for godly things.

"BUT!" You wail, "I just want... "

It's not about what you want.  If you are truly a follower of Jesus Christ, a true Christian, then it's about what God wants.

Are you willing to pay the price?

Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me. And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions.  Mark 10:21-22

Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying, Master, which is the great commandment in the law?  Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.  Matthew 22:35-40
Love the Lord. Not your stuff.
Love the Lord. Not your hobbies.
Love the Lord. Not your collections.
Love the Lord. Not your toys.
Love the Lord. Not your movies.
Love the Lord. Not your internet.
Love the Lord. Not your TV shows.
Love the Lord. Not your extra activities that take you away from your husband and children.

Love the Lord.
Follow Him.

 Do you truly want to follow Him?  Or are you afraid to let go of your "riches."

You cannot have both.  Ask Him, and you will see.

Take a piece of paper.  Draw a line down the center and make two columns.  On the left side, write "Putting the Lord first and His priorities."  On the right side, write a list of everything you don't want to give up.  Then, ask the Lord, one by one, if those things on the right fit over in the left column.  If they don't, then you must choose.  Just like the rich man.  Jesus never commands you not to own stuff.  He just commands that you be willing to walk away from it at the drop of a hat and not be attached to it.  If you are attached--addicted--it is better for you to not have it at all.

Just some food for thought.  Once again:

Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me. And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions.  Mark 10:21-22

 The world will think you are crazy. Your family, your friends, and even some of your church leaders.  But if you are reading this and God is calling you, then you know His calling is clear.  And I will be praying for you, as I do for all who stop to read things here.

I beseech you therefore brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God. Romans 12:1-2
BUT! You wail, "I can't get rid of anything.  My husband is the one who wants all the stuff!  That would be disobeying him and upsetting him!"

I hear that one a lot.  A LOT!  And in a lot of cases, if you ask the husband, he will say it is his wife who has to have all the stuff.  It is almost always his impression that she shops too much, buys too much, wants more clothes for herself, for the children, wants a better car, wants a better home... and on and on.

So, without knowing your or your situation, all I can ask you to do is evaluate yourself.  Are you attached to stuff?  And if your husband truly would get upset and not understand if you got rid of a bunch of things, don't try to convince me you're not more creative than that problem!  You're certainly creative when it comes to getting all the stuff.  Get creative when it comes to getting rid of it or becoming unattached to it.  You can have the TV, but not turn it on.  You can put things away out of sight and out of mind.  You can fill a back closet or a spare room with things you don't need cluttering your daily life.  Remember, God doesn't command you to not own it. He wants you not to be attached to it, enslaved to it, engulfed by it, and waste away your days drowning in it!

 God's yoke is easy and His burden is light.  If you can respond to this calling and let go and follow Him, you will be able to get it all done.  You will have rest.  And you will be effective and successful for His kingdom and for His glory. And you know it.  If you don't know it, then you don't know Him.
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Aug. 25, 2008

This Year's Schedule

I have had some requests again to share my daily schedule on this blog. Since I conveniently just wrote it in an email to share with someone in my women's Bible study group, I will post it here in brief.  Our daily schedule includes all our chores and schoolwork with the goal of having a fully managed home each day.  Keep in mind, each day, I do let the Lord lead.  Things change daily at His leading, but the following schedule is our general framework for every day that we are home. 

My checklist  system:  You will see me refer to the "checklist" below.  My children each have a daily checklist that lists their daily chores and their daily independent school work.  I print each child a new checklist every Monday morning, and there is a checkbox for Monday through Friday for every chore and every school assignment.   The checklist is a two-column page.  The left column is schoolwork, the right column is chores.  The left column says, "Monday," then under that has the checkboxes for each independent school work assignment, then below that it says  Tuesday, etc.  At the bottom of the chores column after Friday, there is a section titled "Weekly," which is for our once-a-week chores, such as cleaning out closets, scrubbing toilets, tubs, and sinks, hosing off the front porch, changing sheets, etc.

Some notes on our chores:

All the daily chores and weekly chores are divided up between myself and the older two children (son 14 and daughter 9).  This list includes everything it takes to keep our house the way I like it kept:  from the general cleaning, laundry, vacuuming and dusting, all the way to the details such as straightening every bookshelf, washing refrigerator shelves, washing the inside of the microwave and under the stove top, washing the fronts of the kitchen cabinets, and keeping all the drawers organized. Almost all these chores are on their daily checklists.

On my son's checklist, when it says "bookshelves," that means it is his job to check every bookshelf in the house and make sure the books are straightened and put away properly, arranged from tallest to shortest where appropriate.  My daughter's checklist has a chore called "refrigerator shelf." She does one refrigerator  shelf a day--takes everything off, wipes it down, puts everything back.  Everyone's checklist says "Clean drawer."  This means that the children and I each choose one drawer to organize and clean out each day, whether it be a kitchen drawer, or a clothing drawer.  Sometimes we do two or three--when you keep on top of them it only takes a few minutes.  My son's assignment is the floors, which means sweeping and spot cleaning the tile floors daily, and washing them once a week.  The younger children are learning to take over this chore.  My oldest also wipes out the inside of the microwave and under the stove top every day (his checklist says "microwave/stove").

My chores are: Each day, I do the bathrooms (wipe down toilets, sinks, and pick up--my son does the floors), I pick up the office (my jurisdiction), keep my desk clean, clean my bedroom and make my bed, and do two loads of laundry.  The younger children put away the laundry.  Until this year, my oldest did the laundry, but he is growing out of that and working on bigger outdoor projects now, plus planning some college credits. I manage the kitchen and do all the cooking and cleaning.  My daughter, 9, helps with the cooking almost always, and it is her job--jurisdiction--to put away every clean dish, whether it is from the dishwasher or washed and clean on the counter.  

My oldest son does yard work every day in addition  to the weed whacking.  Clearing, weeding, sweeping, mowing, pruning--whatever else.  We have 10 acres.  In the winter, he manages the firewood.

Here is our schedule/order of business:

The children wake up by 7:30 a.m.  All chores must be done before eating breakfast.  We usually do the "upstairs" chores first:  All the bedrooms cleaned and beds made, laundry put away, picked up, vacuumed if needed, and a drawer or two organized.  If it's "closet day" (we clean out our closets once a week), we take an extra five or 10 minutes to do that.  I do the ironing, never more than about 2 things a day, if any.  Then the children get dressed (showered if they need it), brush their hair, then tackle their "downstairs" chores.  This may sound like a lot to do before breakfast, but it actually takes us very little time as we touch up all our chores before dinner, and then we all get a head start on chores just before bed, so many of them are already done when we wake up in the morning.

Breakfast is usually eaten around 8:30.  Most days, breakfast is "make it yourself."  Cereal, eggs and toast, oatmeal, yogurt.  About once a week, my daughter and I get together and make pancakes, breakfast burritos, homemade biscuits, muffins, etc.

Then, the children start their independent schoolwork by around 9:00, working at their desks.  From 9:00 to 11:30, we do this independent school work--listed on their daily checklist.  Grammar and Language Arts workbooks, Balancing the Sword (a Bible Study book), a multiplication drill for my daughter, a math lesson and assignment, a writing assignment (Writing Strands), Spanish, Typing, Piano and Voice practice, guitar practice, journaling, geography, and science (The Rainbow for the older one, Switched-On-Schoolhouse for the younger). They take turns at the computer for their Spanish (Rosetta Stone) and typing--15 minutes each.  Piano, guitar, and voice practice is 15 minutes each.  They love to practice longer than that, but that is for free time.  I teach their math separately at this time (Algebra 1 for the older and 4th grade for my daughter) and give their assignment. I also work with them on their writing and give their writing assignment for the day, whether it's an outline, a draft, a revision, or a final.  I answer questions as needed, do school work with the preschooler. 

How I manage the 3-year-old:  He works with us whenever we do chores. He is learning to do many of them well, and he loves working. He can put away laundry, and he has even washed the kitchen floor twice by himself--he gets it cleaner than his brother with all the soap suds he makes!  During harvest season, he asks to help, and I find ways he can help. When dad cooks on the grill, he wants to help, and dad finds a way for him to help. This is important! This is training time! Then, when we start school work, he has three choices:  If I am available, he can work with me on his school work and do some lessons.  If he is not working with me, he must be doing his independent school work at his desk--he has some coloring and preschool things he can do on his own, such as write-on/wipe-off letter and number books, coloring books, and workbooks from the dollar store.  If he chooses not to do schoolwork at his desk he may play with his toys--any of his toys--in the school room on the floor. Quietly.  If he does not want to work at his desk or play with his toys, he must sit on a chair and do nothing.  Those are his three choices!.  He does fine playing toys and doing school work, for the most part.  I usually get to work with him on his preschool stuff for 30 minutes to an hour during this time.

The baby, 6 months old, usually takes a little nap from 9:30 to 10:00, then he happily plays on the floor or in a saucer during this time.  In between helping the children with their school work, I may bake bread or goodies, or work in the kitchen--like preparing tomatoes for canning or salsa!  If that is the case, my 3-year-old is often my helper for these projects. He loves to bake!

At about 11:30, everyone is ready for a break.  Laundry is switched and a load quickly put away, if necessary. If it's nice, the kids may head outside for some bike riding, or basketball, or sledding in the winter, playing on the swings, picking berries--whatever.  If it's cold, they like to read, play games together, play Legos, or sometimes I let them play computer games or hide and seek.  My daughter likes to crochet or sew.  My son likes to clean the garage or tinker with his 4-wheeler.

12:30 is lunch.  Peanut butter sandwiches or leftovers.  That's it, usually!

12:50, we put the little ones down for nap. We usually take a 1/2 hour rest, too.  I get extra reading and study time in. Sometimes I nap, too.

At about 1:30, we do our "teaching classes," the classes where I teach them together.  History (3 times a week) , health (a few times a year), government (once a week), Bible (a few times a week), Ohio History (a few times a year), Poetry (a few times a year), Speech (two speeches a year), Art-when I feel like it, and whatever else.

We finish up this section of the day by about 4:00 usually.  Then it's project time or free time.  Right now, that means I'm canning tomatoes, salsa, and applesauce.  I may have the children help.  Sometimes I  sew, my daughter and I do an art project (we love to paint!), we crochet, or we make cards.  Sometimes we bake something special for Daddy for dinner. My oldest son works on cleaning the garage, or he works outside on yard work, and takes his little brother with him to help.  My daughter likes to write books, write letters, draw, crochet, and practice singing. My son will play the piano or guitar for an hour or two. Sometimes we pick berries, or do photography, or play baseball, or hit golf balls, or ride 4-wheelers... you get the idea! 

At about 6:00, we do "chore touch up time."  We finish up the laundry for the day and get it put away, and get everything put back so the house is clean and nice for Daddy.  Then my oldest son takes the 3-year-old to play something fun while my daughter and I have some girl time.  The two of us feed the baby his dinner and together we cook our family dinner. We often sing while we work in the kitchen, practicing her voice lesson assignment, or working on a new song.

7:00 is dinner.  I clean up while Dad and the children do family time, then I join them.  Usually this is a game, or something outside like fishing or riding 4-wheelers, or playing baseball.  Sometimes the older children still have some "homework" to finish up. Sometimes the children do something on their own while my husband and I do other things--he likes to work on his computer/study the Bible, I like to check email, work on Bible study outlines, write articles, plan the next day's history lesson, plan next week's menu and shopping list, etc.  Sometimes we watch a movie or show--we've watched some of the Olympics lately.  Last night, my husband and my oldest son repaired my son's portable DVD player, which he uses at his desk for math.  They ordered a motor from eBay and took the whole thing apart and replaced it.  My daughter and I scoured through a stack of old "Taste of Home" magazines that a friend had given us. We clipped recipes for our files so that we could throw the magazines away.

At 9:00 or so, we start getting ready for bed, which means a head start on next day's chores.  The children actually look at their checklist and start checking off the next day's chores so that when we wake up, there's not much to do!

Everyone's in bed by about 9:45!

That's how the schedule in our house goes! This is a very flexible schedule. If we have an appointment or an errand, it is very easy to still get things done by putting our chores and schoolwork in where the free time goes--we just rearrange some of the time blocks.

If you read this, then know that I have said a prayer for you today for God to bless you and your upcoming school year.  I pray that God will help you manage your home well, and find solutions and a schedule that works for you, your children, and your family. 

God bless,

Mrs. E.
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May. 8, 2008

Training Children in Idolatry

I was recently posed the question, “How do you ensure that your children develop a God-oriented heart?”

I am participating in a small group study of Ted Tripp’s book, Shepherding a Child’s Heart.  Mr. Tripp explains how man is designed by God to worship.  That is part of the need God creates in us—the need for Him.  Because of this, humans are easily bedazzled and impressed.  We are designed that way.  God designed us that way so that we would fill that need by choosing Him, worshipping Him.

But how can children choose to fill the urge and need to worship with God when many (most) parents throw at them anything and everything that awes and impresses them?  If a little boy likes Spiderman, it is not long before he owns Spiderman underwear, Spiderman pajamas, Spiderman light-up tennis shoes, eight Spiderman t-shirts, all the Spiderman toys, Spiderman movies, Spiderman books, Spiderman coloring books, Spiderman dinnerware, Spiderman sheets, comforters, curtains, wallpaper border, and a sleeping bag…. Same goes for Dora, Sponge Bob, Blue’s Clues, Batman, Disney, Barney, or whatever the child starts to show an interest…

Hmmm.  How are children going to choose to be in awe of and worship an invisible, infinite, omnipresent, omnipotent God when we continually give them tangible, visible, understandable gods.

Wasn’t that the Israelites’ problem?  They were used to living in Egypt with tangible, visible Gods.  The Pharaoh was a hero, who called himself a god with super powers.  He was visible, tangible, audible.  People were easily awed by him. There were statues, hieroglyphs, and action figures of him and his gods to see, touch, and feel.  When Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt, God became real to them through the plagues and His supernatural works and protection.  But, when Moses disappeared for a few days to the top of Mount Sinai, how quickly did they forget the invisible God and clamor for their tangible ones? 

And just like parents do, when children are impressed or pleased and they run out and buy the Spiderman toy, Aaron ran out and got the Israelites their golden calf.  It’s so much easier to just please them, to make them content, than it is to train them and teach them about the invisible God! 

Think about how God tried to solve this problem for the Israelites.  He commanded them, when they got to Canaan, to destroy and/or drive out EVERY inhabitant of the land and to not mix with them.  God knew how quickly the Israelites would be lured and awed and impressed by the tangible, visible, false gods of the Canaanites, and their groves and altars and trinkets and jewelry and idols.  And they were. Even the most “godly” of them thought nothing of having “idols” decorating their homes. 

Isn’t that just like today—where even our Christian leaders think nothing of filling their homes with idols to entertain and awe their children.  The Israelite girls copied the dress and styles of the beautiful and popular young girls of the Canaanites—much, I’m sure, in the same way young girls today copy the style and dress of their favorite Disney channel star.  They couldn’t resist the beautiful groves and fascinating rituals/gatherings that were all the social rage if you were “cool.”  Much like today we can’t resist the movie theaters or the TV or the video games, or the clothing with the idols plastered all over it.

Have you ever had a Godly leader suggest to you to consider turning off your TV?  To not  watch movies?  Isn't this the same thing as God telling the Israelites to drive out/destroy the Canaanites. 

We parents take the easy route.  It is easy to let our children idolize things because they are designed by God to worship and idolize something. Giving them their idols keeps them happy and content.  We like to see them excited, loving something, and taking an interest.  We cater to their desires and their passions, help them amass their collections. But don’t we most want to see them excited about God?

Don't get me wrong--I'm not saying we shouldn't build a healthy appetite for our children in Godly interests--things they will one day be able to use for the Lord.  But we must be discerning.  When it comes to activities and the things we allow our children to put first in their lives as priorities--how does it measure up in the long-term plan towards Godliness and a life that serves God and makes a difference for His kingdom?
 
How many parents, as their children get older and older, start to complain and worry when their children aren’t interested in putting God first?  Yet, they do not realize they are the ones that gave their children the idols that taught them to not put God first.  How can we complain when our children aren’t excited about God when all their lives we’ve encouraged their excitement about their favorite cartoon characters, pop stars, and movie stars? It is hypocritical.

I am certain someone reading this is offended. I am not telling you what to do. Do whatever you feel is right before God. But please, consider, do you want your children to grow up with a God-oriented heart? Remember the first and great commandment:  Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy mind, and with all thy strength.  That should be your ultimate goal for your children.  You want them to grow up to seek first the kingdom of God. How you do that is your business, and your responsibility as steward of these children.

Might I suggest you try to be objective, take a step back and look around. 

  • How have you decorated their rooms?  What characters are on their clothes?  What movies/TV shows do you encourage? What toys do they collect?
  • Do they know more about Dora or Spiderman than they know about Jesus?
  • Or, more specifically, are they more impressed by Batman than they are by Jesus?  What would hold their attention more?  A Bible story or a Batman movie?

Oh, it is so easy to just let them love these things.  But is it harmless?  No.

Is it easy to train up children in the love and admonition of the Lord?  No.

But what do you really want for your children?

I have been really working to help my 3-year-old grow in awe of God and Jesus.  Although he knows who Dora is from a book given to him by an aunt and a toy phone I let him buy with a gift card (because he liked the phone, not because he loved Dora), I do not feed him the TV show or any other Dora things.  It would be so easy to please him and buy him these things and teach him to “worship” Dora.  He doesn’t have a clue who Spiderman is, or Batman, or Blue.  He just received some really obnoxious Spiderman underwear and pajamas from a well-meaning relative -- and while we appreciate the thought and gesture, we got rid of them.

Unfortunately, we cannot completely control all the environments he is exposed to. He learned who Barney is by (sadly enough) going to church where the toddlers were pacified with Barney videos. I can’t avoid these “idols,” but I don’t have to feed his desire!  It is so easy for a child to be awed by a “god” they can see, feel, touch, and hear—and wear on their underwear and sleep on in their sheets, and play with in video games, and play with in their toys.

How do I make my child awed by an invisible God more powerful than they could imagine? 

First of all, I must not get him used to visible, tangible, imaginable, audible, worldly gods.  If my child is used to being awed by the superhero he can see and be entertained by—mindlessly—how is he going to get his mind around the concept of an infinite God with greater powers and far greater wisdom than one who fixes problems the way we want  them fixed?

First of all, I eliminate the competition.  That’s what God would do. That’s what He commanded the Israelites to do.  Smash the golden calf. Destroy all idols—and avoid those who would encourage you or tempt you.

Then I must, like Moses did for the Israelites, show and prove God’s majesty to my children.  I must sow in my child the concept of the most Almighty, most powerful, inconceivable, omnipotent, infinite God. When I talk to my toddler, I tell him how Jesus made him, and how Jesus made everything, and how Jesus is everywhere and he can see us and hear us.  I explain, as often as possible, why we do the things we do in order to please Jesus.  I ensure that my toddler hears the name of Jesus umpteen-thousand times more than he ever hears the name “Spiderman.”  It is my job to make Jesus real to my children.  I tell my toddler Bible stories, tons of awesome Bible stories! The impressive stories of Jesus' miracles—great stories! Creation! The Flood! Babel! The Plagues on Egypt! Parting the Red Sea! The Walls of Jericho! David and Goliath! Raising the dead. Healing the sick. Feeding the thousands. Better than anything Spiderman ever did!  I can take him outside  and show him the wonders of creation.  I can show him each sunset and tell him that God made it especially for us--painted fresh. And by speaking constantly of Jesus, my toddler, hopefully, will feel like he knows Jesus, and can picture Jesus as He was, and know the character of God through Him. 

As my children get older, I encourage their prayer and conversation with Jesus.  I teach them how to listen and be sensitive to the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  I don’t numb or obliterate this relationship with God by giving them shallow satisfactions daydreaming about movie stars, pop stars, and sports icons.  I guide them in their prayers, helping them to recognize God’s answers to prayer, to feel His grace, and accept His love, and see His Providence. When they ask me questions, at times I prompt them, "Have you asked God what He thinks?"

I teach them how to study the Bible by sitting with them, and reading with them, and helping the Word of God come alive verse by verse.  I help them apply it, and then as the Lord works in their life, I help them to see the results.

Many of my friends and family have known for a long time that I don’t do “idols,” but I don’t know if they really know why.  Many of those who buy gifts for my children know not to buy anything Disney, or Superheroes, or not even animal prints.  But do they really understand why?  It’s not just a preference.  It is a desperate and determined attempt on my part to make sure I don’t fill my children’s need for God with empty idols that would so easily impress and entertain them.  I want my children to be awed by God. Perhaps I have failed to make my reasoning clear to them.

And when we’re "bored" around here, with nothing to do, God help me, I will not turn on the TV and give my children idols.  I will draw them close around me, and tell them more about the immortal, invisible, most-high God, the creator of heaven and earth.  I will tell of His greatness, His love, His majesty, His infinite wisdom, His power.  I will tell the stories of His faithfulness, His miracles, and His wonderful providence.   I will fill that God-given desire to worship by giving them God to worship. And when I fail to do so, I pledge that with God's help, I will do better next time.

The Bible tells us to be in the world and not of the world.  If I can (God help me) train my children to know God, to hear Him, to see Him, to feel Him, then when they are in the world, they will not be impressed by any cheap imitations. They will be able to go anywhere, do anything, and they will not be swayed, deluded, or diverted from the One True God in any way. They will know how to walk in the Spirit and not after the flesh.

To go deeper, read my post on Children’s Appetites…

And may God so richly bless you and pour His grace upon each of you, dear readers, as you seek His best.  You are in my prayers.
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Mar. 31, 2008

Getting It All Done (What can a 2-Year-Old Do?)

For the past several weeks, we have been adjusting to having a newborn in the house once again.  This is my fourth baby, but this time it is different.  This is the first time I've had a newborn AND a 2-year-old toddler at the same time (my older ones are all 5+ years apart).

I've had to pay more attention to my toddler's training.  I've had to be more consistent. I've had to be sure of what my expectations are for my toddler, and then follow through.  But it's not just my toddler!  There's a whole ship to run here --and we just keep running it tighter and tighter, little by little. 

Here is my list of my "expectations" of what a 2-year-old can do, and things we are successfully training and teaching ours to do.  I do not want to give the impression that he does all these things perfectly; he does not. But most days, he meets the expectations.

These are the things that have helped IMMENSELY in keeping the sanity around here (my sanity, to be exact), and have made it so that we are (mostly) back on track with our schedule, our school work, and our chores. 

Our two-year-old will be three soon, but here is what we expect at this point in time:

1.  Instantly and happily obey reasonable and simple commands (such as, "Come here," "Put your truck away right now," "Pick up the pencil under your desk," "Bring mommy a diaper for the baby.") This is the area he seems to test most often.

2. Stop whining or fussing when told, and be happy. Sometimes it takes a few minutes of sitting somewhere  by himself to "regroup"--but senseless, habitual, or "pay-attention-to me" spoiled whining and fussing is never allowed to continue more than a couple of minutes.  Scowling or pouting in rebellion to parental authority is not allowed.  We help him check his face in the mirror.  He must make a choice to be happy to obey and stay under his parents' authority.

This does not include the cries of a wounded heart or bodily injury! There are times for real cries! Discernment must be used! Sometimes, a tiny "boo-boo" can be blown up into a big fuss for no reason--we don't allow it.  But sometimes a tiny boo-boo can come with a big fall or a big scare, and comforting is needed!  Sometimes a tired toddler has a true outpouring of sadness or disappointment . That takes comforting and reassurance.  Parents know when their child is truly hurting, and know when they're fussing or crying or whining for no reason. Think you don't know?  If you find yourself getting irritated when you hear the whine or fuss, and feel irritated about having to comfort them or deal with them, it's probably because you know deep down they shouldn't be upset!  If you find yourself wanting to scoop them up and kiss them, desperate to take their hurt away, then it's probably a true hurt. Often you can tell by the tone of their voice.

3.  Put away his own clean clothes neatly and in the right drawers.

4.  Help put away the clean clothes for the rest of the family (he has been shown exactly where things go and how).

5.  Help sort dirty laundry into different bins and loads (for example, whites, reds, darks, and "jeans & towels.")

6.  Pick up his own toys and put each in the right place, and put other children's things away in the right place, or even other household things (any one's shoes back to the right closet, trivets off the table and back where they belong, baby toys/things put away, etc.)

7. Put away the clean silverware out of the dishwasher (sharp knives taken out first)

8.  Set the table neatly--entirely unassisted--once the dishes are placed within reach (including filling water glasses from the water cooler)

9. "Dump" or stir anything while baking/cooking (and rarely stir hot pans ONLY with careful help and supervision)

10. Knead pizza dough, place pepperoni on pizza, sprinkle shredded cheese on pizza, place balls of cookie dough on cookie sheets, cut biscuits and place on cookie sheets, place frozen french fries or tater tots on cookie sheets, etc.

11. Dry dishes and put them away (the ones within reach, such as pans, silverware, etc.)

12. Help wash floors with a sponge

13. Vacuum (he has his own electric "stick" vacuum) or sweep (has his  own broom that dad cut down to his size).  I don't expect perfection!  I expect him only to work willingly and happily alongside the rest of us.

14. Pull off dirty pillow cases (very funny and can take several minutes!), and help put new ones on

15. Carry out an "assigned" activity at an assigned place for an assigned (reasonable) amount of time.  For example: 
    -Read your library books for 15 minutes. You can put them away when the timer goes off.
    -Color at your desk until I'm done teaching math to your brother.
    -Get your blocks and some cars and you may build garages right here on the school floor until 10:30 (he likes pretending he can read the clock).

During those assigned times, I do not allow him to get up and wander or break the "boundary" I have set.  If I am teaching math in the school room, he must stay in there, and he may not even cross a finger out the door of the room.  If I have told him to sit at his desk, he may not get up! If I have told him to sit in a certain place to read, he  must stay in that place.

16. Help bring in firewood (one piece at a time)--but, boy! Does this work ever make him feel grown-up, tough, and strong!

17. Help shovel snow--I don't expect him to do much himself, but I do expect him to have the "happy working" attitude as he shovels and does what his older brother does.  Incidentally, the attitude is not a problem.  He LOVES shoveling (and eating) snow.  He feels important and strong!

18. Help pick up sticks in the yard before mowing.

19. Help plant seeds in a garden, help pick beans and tomatoes and corn, etc., help weed a garden, and hold the hose to water a garden (2-year-olds are experts at handling a spraying hose!)

20. Help wash the car

21. Help his sister dust.

22. Run the pedal on the sewing machine, closely following "stop" and "go" commands.

23. Play board games (Candyland, Finders Keepers, Hi Ho Cherry O, Memory, Uno)

24. Do school work:  He can identify some capital and lowercase letters on flash cards and make the sounds that go with each, identify some states and countries on a map, identify many shapes and colors, draw simple lines through a simple maze or trace a simple pattern of dots (to form a line or a circle), color with specific colors, follow simple coloring instructions, practice counting, identify some numbers ("2" and "5" are still confused a little bit, but Uno is helping, and "6" and 9" will be figured out soon, I'm sure!).  School work is always more fun when you get a marshmallow or a raisin each time you correctly identify a letter or number, or answer a question correctly!

That's all I can think of for now, but there are other components to keeping things running well in this home! Never is an expectation created without thorough and consistent training. He has needed to be shown everything. Some people assume a child will understand by "common sense." The reality is "common sense" exists only after it is developed.

My older children know their expectations for chores and independent schoolwork, and they are expected to get it done.  We have been "pressing" on for five years now, trying to get a handle on chores and school work, and little by little, things get easier and easier.  Now, the latest rule is that all upstairs chores are done and every one is showered and dressed before eating breakfast (beds made, rooms clean, laundry started for the day, and any clean laundry put away, vacuumed if necessary, closets or drawers cleaned out or straightened, if necessary).  After breakfast, downstairs chores are done (which are easy, because we've learned to get a head start on them the night before just before we go to bed!), then each of the older children start their independent school work.  I then flit between nursing the baby, doing schoolwork with the 2-year-old, and teaching/helping the older ones.  In the afternoon, when the 2-year-old goes down for his nap, that's when I do any necessary  "teaching" portions of school, such as history, or math for each child.  But I teach history once a week for about 1.5 to 2 hours, and I give independent assignments, so a whole week of history subject is taught in one day.

In addition, if I am nursing the baby or need to get something else done (or even just need a rest after a restless night with a newborn), I expect that I can ask either one of older children (sister, age 9, or brother, age 13) to take the toddler to play for a set amount of time (usually 30 minutes to one hour).  Not just keep an eye on him, but happily engage in play with him:  play-dough, make a craft with glitter glue, punches, and markers, play  Legos, fly a kite outside, read books to him, set up a hot wheels race track or build towers with blocks... .

And that is what is happening right now.  I've been getting many emails asking for me to post something again, that since the baby is sleeping soundly, I sent the toddler outside to play with his older sister (today, my oldest is helping Dad fix one of our cars that broke down--he always is excused from his regular routine around here if Dad has a project like that!).  I told them to play outside until 1:00, then they will come in for lunch, the 2-year-old will take his nap, and sister will get back to her school work.  It is now 12:55, so, with that, I will sign off.

In Jesus' name, keep pressing on! It can be done!  It can be!

God bless you!
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Feb. 24, 2008

Baby E has arrived (and other notes)!

I just wanted to let everyone know that our new little Baby E arrived earlier this month, safe and sound, healthy and full-term.  He is a most precious gift from the Lord. Thank you all for your prayers, support, and encouragement. 

Be patient with my blogging break! I will be back, as God leads.

I have joined a new Bible study group and we will be studying the book, "Damsels in Distress" by Martha Peace. 

Also, I just wanted to mention, for some good growth reading, I recently read and recommend, "The Calvary Road," by Roy Hession.  Talking about learning what it means to "die to self!"  Whew!  If you think some of my blog entries are challenging--well, this one did me in! Talk about a swift kick...

I recently completed George Mueller's biography, too.  It was very inspiring!

My husband and oldest son just attended a full-day men's seminar by Norm Wakefield, who was speaking in our neck of the woods (one of my favorite speakers and authors).  They both had a great time--such a blessing for our family!

God bless you all, and don't forget, that you all remain in my prayers for God's grace and peace to be upon you, and for His guidance, help, and mercy in your lives as you strive to live for Him!

And now I must go, for Baby E is squeaking for breakfast number 4.
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Jan. 19, 2008

God-Led Child Training

God laid it on my heart, and my husband's heart, several years ago His important plan of raising up a godly seed.  We committed to doing that for the Lord, and we radically changed our entire home (not just child training!  Our house, our marriage, everything!).  Since that time, especially since I feel the bulk of carrying out the child training rests on me since I am the one with the children all day each day, I have prayed intensely for God's help with raising my children the way He wants me to--according to His will for them. I have studied the Bible on the topic, read many wonderful books (To Train Up a Child, No Greater Joy, Shepherding a Child's Heart, IBLP materials), and listened to many wonderful sermons (especially those by Dr. S.M. Davis at www.solvefamilyproblems.com). 

I have learned many wonderful Biblical principles and gained much wisdom.  I have been given many examples and ideas by godly parents before me who took the time to share their wisdom (Steve & Terri Maxwell, The Mally Family, Kathy Morrissey, to name a few, and and even friends God has placed in my life).

But the most important thing I have learned is that all children are different, and God's plan and purpose for each child is different.  And unless my child training is led by God day to day and minute to minute, I'm going to mess up! 

My husband and I have established the authority structure in our home, we have made the boundaries clear, we have spent hours and hours training and teaching our children God's ways and God's Word, God's principles of authority, God's commands for children, and God's BEST in all areas of life.  We try to be as consistent as possible, as discerning as possible, as wise as possible.  We still make mistakes, but we learn and grow. I cannot ascribe wholly to any method, any ritual.  Training must always be flexible, willing to go where God leads.

For example,  there was a time there when it seemed like all I was hearing about in the homeschool circuit was "character training."  Everyone was doing it.  There were so many great stories and great examples of how to train godly character into your children.  I looked for curriculum.  I couldn't find one I that satisfied me.  I tried writing one that satisfied me--God was not in that effort.  Then I realized, I wasn't letting God lead.  I was only looking to the example of others and making my own choice.  When I prayed, God led me down a different path of study for my children in their spiritual growth, and they changed, and grew, and we had peace once again.  Now, there have been periods where God has had me work on a certain character trait in a certain child--but only at His leading!

Here are some examples of how I have been trying to let God lead my child training.  In my prayer journal, I write this simple request for each child, and I put a date by it.

Show me what _____ needs to learn next/reveal to me the next step in their direction and purpose.

Within a day or two, usually, the prayer is answered.  I have a crystal clear answer for what to focus on next to help each child.  I mark the date of answered prayer.  Then I obey the Lord and teach/provide what He showed me.  Then I place the same request back in my prayer journal and repeat the process again.

Let me share testimonies of how this played out this past month for all three of my children (13yo son, 8yo daughter, 2yo son).

On January 13, I wrote my prayer request in my journal for my 13yo son, and prayed for him several times. I asked God to show me how to direct and train my son in the next important step in his spiritual growth and towards fulfilling his purpose and calling in life.  Before the day was out, God had laid a verse on my heart, "A wise son maketh a glad father."  I felt prompted to begin encouraging my son to be wise by "making a glad father."  Sometimes there is tension in my son's relationship with my husband, so this verse and thought coming to mind seemed to be of the Holy Spirit. 

The Bible makes it clear that the relationship between father and son is crucial.  Jesus Christ had only one motivation on earth, and that was to please His Father and to do His will.  And we are called to have the same mind as Christ, which means my son needs to have the motivation, at this time in his life, to please his earthly father (in the same mind as pleasing his heavenly Father). 

Once my son has built this attitude deeply into his heart--the attitude to live to please his father, in a few years, when he is a man ready to lead his own family, he will have established the same mind as Christ and be able to live to please God, his Heavenly Father, and do His will.  That is because he will have established earlier the lifestyle of living to please his earthly dad.

I wrote down the verses, outlined some thoughts, and began talking about it with my son right away.  It is God-led child training, and I know without a doubt it is the next step for my son.  The tension that had been mounting in him is already dissipating.  God revealed the problem and led me in what to teach. 

Another confirmation that this was the area God wanted me to work:  I no sooner outlined the verses and began to work on this area with my son than Satan attacked.  My son, even though he instantly began making an effort to try to please his dad more, instead he started driving my husband more crazy than ever (and vice versa), and their communication problems went up several notches.  I used Satan's fuel as my own.  I shared with my son my prayer request regarding him, my answer to prayer, and how we were surely in God's will based on the test and trial that had arisen regarding the matter.  My son is a fighter for spiritual things--I know he will fight to accomplish this next step in his life.  And I will be praying for him through this.

And as soon as we are "done" in this area, I will be prompted to pray for God to show me the next step. Sometimes God shows me more than one thing to work on at a time--a little overlap.  Sometimes it is a one-day lesson.  Sometimes it is a long-term training.  But God has never failed to reveal to me what is needed when I ask.  (But that is the key, isn't it?  WHEN I ask.  Lord, help me to always remember to ask!)

On January 14, I entered the same request for my daughter, and began praying fervently for her. Three days later, on Thursday, January 17th, AS USUAL, instead of her choosing to work diligently at her chores and get them done first, she had gotten herself distracted and was busy in some invented project.  She was very absorbed.  I went to correct her, and the Holy Spirit said "don't."  I let her be.  I let her chores wait.  When I saw over an hour later that she was finished with her project, I gently redirected her to finish her tasks, which she joyfully did.  I struggled because I wanted to correct her for failing to remember the priority of chores first, personal projects later.  It is a big problem for her. She has seemed to be subtly disobedient lately--at least lazily so.  Always needing to be reminded of the simplest things (like putting away her pajamas!)  But the Holy Spirit said, "Stop."  I stopped.  I did not correct this time.  God was leading.

A little later, I walked upstairs and I saw the results of her "project."  She had planned a "tea party."  There were three things hanging on the door of her bedroom.  At the top was a menu of what was being served:  A variety of teas, hot chocolate (with or with out marshmallows).    Below that was the "poster" announcing the event, decorated in colored markers with curling script letters, hearts, and different colored markers.  It read:

 ________'s Tea Party.
 Saturday, January 19, 2008
Time: 9:00 to 10:00 a.m.
Place:  ______'s Room
All things are delightful, and a great opportunity to have fellowship, and have yummy tea, too!

Below that she had attached a sign up list with a pencil (it said, "Sighn Up).  I saw her coming up the stairs, and the Holy Spirit prompted me again.  I picked up the pencil and signed my name so that she saw me signing up as she came near.  She was so delighted!  Then I called her brothers and shared the "exciting announcement," and they signed up.  Daddy signed up too.

My daughter transformed before my eyes.  She is always delightful and joyful in spirit.  But she was fairly bubbling and bursting with joy and delight.  I sat down with her and listened to her plans.  I listened to how she was planning to set up her room, and how she was planning to set up the tea and hot chocolate.  I was very impressed at this 8-year-old hostess and event planner.  I was an office manager for years, and had seen many secretaries and administrative staff who couldn't have done such a good and thorough job planning a simple meeting!  God opened my eyes to some more of the gifts and desires He had given my daughter--gifts that need to be shaped and trained.  The gift of hosting, serving, and organizing (won't she make a great wife someday?). 

I patiently listened.  I volunteered some suggestions--all of which she got so excited about.  I then suggested we set our alarm clocks for 7:00 on Saturday, then I would help her make muffins for her party.

The next day, Friday, my daughter had no problem remembering her chore priorities, and being responsible and taking initiative.  She was completely obedient.

You see, I hadn't totally had her heart, which was why she was being slack in obeying me and not trying very hard.  I had sensed lately this breach in our relationship, and had been praying a simultaneous prayer.  And God pulled it all together.  By following the leading of the Holy Spirit, I had her heart back.  The relationship was healed.  And she wanted to please me and obey me.  Her love for me started flowing freely again.  And she wanted to please God.  Because I followed the Spirit's leading to support her "project," I opened a door that had closed between us and her willingness to be trained.  And, I started training her and helping her in an area where God wants to grow her gifts. 

Amazing.  I marked the prayer as "answered" in my journal.

Saturday morning, I made sure I was up waiting for her to arise with a smile on my face.  I guided her as she did all the work to set up for her tea party--but still let her do all the work.  I suggested the order in which she set up her buffet (mugs first, then the teas/hot chocolate, then the trivet with the hot teapot, then the spoons, honey, sugar, and marshmallows).  I helped her make cinnamon struesel muffins and chocolate chip muffins.  I helped her "time" everything. I helped get the rest of the family up and dressed.  And the tea party started promptly at 9:00.  She asked Daddy to open in prayer.  The baby had a BLAST, eating in "sissy's room."  We all had a wonderful time.  My daughter said she would host another tea party next month, and asked her older brother to please prepare a devotional for the family.

Two weeks ago, I put this same prayer in for my toddler son.  It seemed our child training had plateaued.  He wasn't improving much in his obedience, even with what I felt was consistent rules, boundaries, authority, correction, and training.  I had even stepped up my positive attention, reading him more stories, doing more "schoolwork" with him (something he loves), playing with his toys.  We were still "stalled" and his willfulness was just BAD.  He continued to exert his will and test boundaries that I felt he KNEW were firm.  I didn't get it.  I prayed. 

God answered FAST.  He used an off comment from my  husband about "the rod" to bring to my attention that I had stopped being consistent in using it.  You see, I am 37 weeks pregnant.  Maternity clothes don't have pockets.  I used to carry the rod in my pocket.  I never needed to use it that much--just seeing it was enough to remind my son where the authority rested.  But I had stopped carrying it around so much since well before Christmas.  No pockets!  Instead, I had lazily resorted to sharp verbal commands and swats with my hand, only using the rod if it was nearby.  Most of the time it had been put away out of sight. 

Then God brought to my attention all the verses over and over again about "the rod of correction.'  The Holy Spirit flooded my mind with all the Biblical principles on how the rod is the symbol of authority--and all the ways it was used.

Needless to say, prayer was answered.  Rod was restored to its proper place.  Toddler son is MUCH happier, less willful, and needing many less corrections.  My daughter and I even rejoiced at an important landmark yesterday -- baby's first "Yes, Ma'am!"  Said with all enthusiasm and joy.  Confirmation from God, too, needless to say.

I hope those short testimonies were an encouragement to you.  In any case, I had to write them down for my own sake--to remind me to keep looking to God.  It works!  It is so easy for me to quit looking upward and fall into ruts of child training, or simply implementing a "good idea" that may  not be at all what God wants for my children. 

Lord, help me to follow you more!
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Jan. 18, 2008

A Dangerous Immune Disorder

Lately, I've noticed a new immunity that many families--Christian families--are building.  Or should I say, "have built."

Stuff immunity.

Stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff... ....

I am speaking to me and to all Christians--if you are to be a follower of Christ, you are to let go of your stuff.

Christ owned nothing.  He understood about stuff. He understood that it is just stuff, and that one day it will all pass away.  Doing the will of the Father was His only goal.  He did not have a goal to buy a house, buy a car, own a Nintendo DS, have 24 pairs of shoes to go with every season and outfit... ...  He did not have books, movies, toys, games, hobbies to take time away from doing the will of His Father. He knew better.

Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me. And he was sad at that saying, and went away grieved: for he had great possessions.  Mark 10:21-22

I am a pretty anti-stuff person.  I absolutely refuse to collect anything, or allow my children to collect anything.  We sort and purge our home as part of our daily chores. Trying to be objective, I believe that  compared to most homes I visit, our home has but a fraction of the "stuff."  Yet still, I have asked God to help me this year get rid of another 50% of our stuff.  I still have a bit of the Stuff Immune Disorder. I was born with the disease, passed down from my parents.

The disease is rampant here in America.

Can you imagine what work could be done for the kingdom of heaven if Christians would give up their stuff, and their thoughts about getting more stuff, and focus instead on pleasing God and doing His will?

Symptoms of Stuff Immunity Disorder:

1. Shopping through Catalogs
2. Watching TV and being swayed by commercials (as in, making a mental note of something you need to buy)
3. Watching Home Design shows and dreaming about buying/building/improving/painting
4. Out-of-control craft/hobby supplies, as in:  more supplies than you even have close to time to work with
5. Full bookshelves of books you don't read
6. Full shelves of movies you own but don't watch
7. You don't even know how many shoes your family owns or if they all fit. You don't wear them all.
8. Unused clothing in your drawers and closets (pieces that haven't been worn for over one year)
9. Collections
10. Disorganized cupboards (because there's too much stuff you don't use) with kitchen items you haven't used or touched for years
11. You don't know what's in your spice cupboard
12. Junk drawers
13. Storage tubs
14. Magazine collections (no, you probably don't go back and read them, ever)
15. Unfinished projects
16. Dust collectors
17. You don't know exactly what food is in your freezer,  fridge, and cupboards.  There is probably some stuff in there that has been there for years.
18. You wonder why your children don't have an appetite for godly things such as church, prayer, reading their Bible, being diligent at school work, working with their hands...
19.  You wonder why you don't get the things done you need to get done, and why you are far from Christ.
20.  You make excuses for the money you spend and the things you buy. You find yourself trying to justify to yourself and your family why you needed what you bought--and you believe yourself.
21. You make excuses for your children and why they have so much stuff, or a particular toy. You promise to limit their time with it--but you end up not limiting their time with it.  It was just an excuse.  You believe what you tell yourself.

Dear ones, as a follower of Christ, the stuff has to go.  If children are to be followers of Christ, they must never contract this disease.  They were probably born with it--born into a nursery full of "stuff," -- matching crib set, new blankies, piles of baby clothes, and all the accessories, and more toys than any one infant could ever play with.

Now, don't think I'm being weird and radical.  Not all stuff has to literally go.  But your attachment to it has to go.  You have to be willing to let it go, just like that, if Jesus were to ask.  If God spoke to you right out of heaven one day and said, "Put that ________ in the trash..." would you happily walk over and dump it in without a second thought?

I've helped people move, and I've helped ladies clean and organize their home, and I've watched how people absolutely cannot let go of stuff.  Meaningless, useless, unused stuff.  Stuff that will belong to somebody else the instant you die (or be thrown in the dumpster). Stuff that will burn up to exist never more one day.  Stuff that has laid around for ages, piled, stacked, stuffed, and unused.  I've watched people get in fights at yard sales, furious over their rights to their stuff or the money they think they deserve--for the stuff they already realized they don't need.  Ladies will feel so proud of themselves when they get rid of a bunch of their stuff, thinking they are not attached to stuff, and are being so "good."  But, in reality, they had so much stuff, what they got rid of was not much more than the same as brushing a stray hair off a sweater because it fell out of their head.  They got rid of stuff to justify getting more or better stuff.

Stuff equals greed. Greed leaves no room for God.  It is fleshly and feeds fleshly lusts only.

And we are immune to it.  Because everybody has stuff. It is the world we know, especially here in America.

But we are not called to be like everybody.  And we are not called to be like the world.

How to cure yourself of Stuff Immunity Disorder:

1. DO NOT BE ATTACHED TO STUFF.
2. GET RID OF STUFF.

You will be happier. You will be more free. You will have less clutter. Your home will be easier to manage. You will be able to focus on godly things. You will have time to do the will of the Father. You will be able to give more. You will earn eternal rewards. 

Some suggestions to cure this disease--and if you find yourself with your toes stepped on, or getting defensive by something on this list, then you definitely have Stuff Immunity Disorder and your relationship with Christ suffers greatly:

1. Do not allow catalogs in your home. Do not browse them. Do not let your children browse them.  Cancel your name off their mailing lists, and put them straight into the trash if they do arrive.  STRAIGHT into the trash.  If you truly need something that is in one of the catalogs, you will know you need it without having to see it in a catalog first.

2. Seriously limit TV influence.  Immunity to the effects of commercials is one of the first stages of Stuff Immunity Disorder.  If you are watching TV, mute the commercials.  Do not watch programs that make you want to redesign your home, buy new furniture, etc.  If you truly need to do this, you do not need the influence of a TV program to guide you.  You need Christ.

3. Get rid of collectibles and stop collecting ANYTHING--you or your children.  It's almost idolatrous, is it not?  It is a serious waste of the resources given to us by God to manage. One of the most delightful children's books ever written was a Berenstain Bears' book titled, "Mad, Mad, Mad Toy Craze."  It tells how all the children and even their parents got caught up in buying "Beary Bubbies."  The new toy came on the scene with an advertising blitz and all the school children became hooked. There was much publicity about how stores would run out of stock, and how hard they were to find. At first, you could buy them for $2.75, then they were $5.00, then the rare ones were selling for over $100 each.    Here's how the book ends:

Of course, not many things are forever--and Beary Bubbies certainly weren't. Pretty soon, Beary Bubbies were everywhere. They came in Krinkly Krumbles cereal boxes. You could get them at the gas station with a fill-up. You could get them with a Krazy Meal at the Burger Bear. After a while, just about everybody in Bear Country had so many Beary Bubbies that they didn't know what to do with them.

There wasn't much you could do with them in the first place. You couldn't play dolly with them the way you could with a good doll. You couldn't play choo-choo with them the way you could with a toy train. You couldn't play baseball with them the way you could with a bat and ball. 

All you could do was look at them--except they had a way of looking back at you and making you think about all the money you had spent on them.

The only thing you could really do with them is brag about how many you had.

"I have 24 Beary Bubbies."

"I have 32 Beary Bubbies."

"I have 48 Beary Bubbies."

"I have 94 Beary Bubbies."

And no matter how many you had, there was always somebody who had more.

"I have 4,202!"

Get rid of or seriously control collectibles and collections.  All they do is tempt you to get more stuff.  For no reason whatsoever.  God created plenty of things for us to enjoy without having to muster up a collection.  When our family started trying to clear up "Stuff Immunity Disorder" in our home, the area of collectibles got completely purged.  My children weren't allowed to have toys that encouraged "buying the whole set," or "all the accessories."  Such as:  Polly Pockets, Littlest Pet Shop, Barbie (but Barbies went for other reasons, too), Furryvilles, Thomas Trains, Character toys, and on and on and on.  Other toys that could be collectibles--well, we just don't collect.  Hot wheels, Legos, doll babies, etc.  We set a limit on how many are allowed for reasonable, healthy play, and if a new one arrives that puts the number of that toy over the allotted amount, they child must choose which has to go.  For example, my daughter is allowed four baby dolls.  If she receives a new one or wants to buy a new one, she must decide which one will go.  She is allowed four purses.  Same rule.  The Hot Wheels bin is limited to 25 cars.  If the boys receive new ones or want to buy new ones, they must decide which ones go. Honestly, do they really need 4 purses, 4 dolls, or 25 cars?

If you collect things like cows, pigs, cookie jars, Coca Cola, antiques, bears, dolls, Barbies... (I don't know, what do people collect?)... then STOP!  STOP IT AT ONCE!  Get rid of the stuff and get rid of the temptation to buy needless stuff.

4. Whittle down your craft/hobby stuff to less than  5 projects and their necessary supplies.  For example:  If you like to sew, choose five projects, and keep the fabric and notions just for those projects, and get rid of the rest.  Just get rid of it. If you truly need it, God will supply it again, but I suspect many of you have pieces of fabric sitting in your sewing tubs that have been there for years, and before you, they were in your mother's sewing trunk for years.  Get rid of it.  If you have not made a quilt in the past five years, chances are you will not make one in the next five years.  If you do get around to it, buy new fabric or ask God to provide and He will.    Five projects, with a vow to not buy any further materials or supplies until the current ones are completed.  Same goes for crocheting, knitting, rubber stamping, scrapbooking.

5. Whittle down your wardrobe to the things you wear.  Not the things that you might wear.  Not the things that you might wear if you manage to become one, two, three, six sizes smaller one day.  If you do ever lose that weight and need new clothes, God will provide. Whittle down your shoes.  As you do laundry, do not put clothing back in  your children's drawers that have become too small.  Fold it into a separate pile to be taken to church to give away, or to the Salvation Army.

6.  Clear out your movies, books, puzzles, games.  Hold each one and ask the Lord, "Does it please you that I have this? Is this helpful or useful for the spiritual growth and well-being of our family?"  If the answer is NO, put it in the trash.  Can you get it at the library if you need it?  If the answer is yes, get rid of it.  If the world were to come a screeching halt, the economy were to crash, and we had to go back to living primitively, would you need to have it for survival?  Hmmm... how much room does it take to store just the Bible?  I'm not saying get rid of everything but your Bible, but I'm saying think about how much is too much!  Honestly evaluate how much you do crack open that book or listen to that CD. 

7. Clear out your kitchen of unused dishes, serving dishes, tupperware, and more.  SO WHAT if it was a wedding present?  Do you use it?  How many coffee mugs does your family really need? (Remember "Little House on the Prairie?"  They had one tin cup per family member, for hot and cold beverages. Ahh... simple!)  Do you even know what is in your spice cupboard?  Do you use all those things?  Look at your pans and bakeware.  Pull out five you have not used in over two years and get rid of them.

8.  Run all your planned purchases by your spouse first, for approval.  He will let you know if you really need that new shoe rack, those tiny tupperwares to pack snacks--or the snacks, a new rug for the bathroom, or that new gadget for the baby.

9.  Make your shopping list, then find 10 things you can remove from it because after consideration, you realize you don't really need them.

At the top of my prayer list right now, with my children praying with me, is for God to help us get rid of more stuff, and to help us give more.  The next week or so, we are cleaning again, purging again. 

Please!  Guard against Stuff Immunity Disorder!  It is dangerous!  How you "spend" here will affect how you spend eternity.

There is that maketh himself rich, yet hath nothing: there is that maketh himself poor, yet hath great riches. Proverbs 13:7

Now, I know this post is long already, but I'm going to put two posts in one.  Below I am posting an entry I wrote awhile back, chronicling how God helped us to simplify and learn to get rid of stuff.  I gave specific examples of how we dealt with different areas in our home. 

But God is still helping me.  It is an ongoing "treatment."  We are still working to "let go," and to get better.  Even as I typed this post, I realized that my sewing projects have grown to more than five and it is time to finish some up or get rid (I can already think of two that are going out the door!).  I am already thinking of my trunk that holds extra sheets and blankets, and my upper closet shelf, and my wardrobe--time to go through these things again (especially with baby #4 due in 3 weeks--praise the Lord!).  My bookshelf needs another purging.  At a glance, I can see about 25 books referred to regularly for reference that have "made the cut" for a few years.  But, I can see about 25 others that have "built up" that we probably will never look at again.

The Lord prompted me to give away four of my "keeper" Christian CDs a couple of weeks ago.  At first my thought was, "No way! Those are my favorites!" (My Selah CDs and a couple worship collections). And God spoke to me and said, "And when was the last time you listened to them?"  I handed them over to a 12-year-old girl without another thought, and was pleased when I saw the same girl today and not only was she carrying those CDs in her purse, but she had been listening to nothing but those CDs (instead of her usual Disney, Pop, and Hip Hop music).

And the garage--as soon as that warm weather hits in March, one whole homeschool week will be dedicated to that! 

And it just came to mind that over two years ago I did purge my crocheting down to two projects (I got rid of hundreds of dollars worth of yarn), and I haven't touched either of those projects since!  And I love crocheting!  I'm going to work in those projects by next week, or give them up.  And I LOVE crocheting--you hear me?  I love it!  I will give it up if God does not give me time for this hobby by next week.

God has been working in my heart in this area lately, and in my husband's heart, too.  I knew God was serious about growing me more in this area when I found lately I could no longer enjoy the occasional viewing of one of my favorite TV shows, "Antique Roadshow."  People were placing such a crazy value on things that had no eternal bearing!  My eyes were opened.  I just couldn't watch.  My dear late Grandmother, there in heaven, does she really care that I treasure her old Czechoslovakian brooch?  NO! NO! NO!  (When my husband sees the show, he always says, "sell it!") Do I have absolutely no concept of what heaven is really like?  My grandmother no longer has attachment or longing for anything earthly.  She is not up there wishing she could have taken her jewelry with her.  She is not up there worrying about who has her stuff now and how well it is being cared for.  She is not up there worrying about how sentimental I am about her or how much she is missed (and believe me, she is missed as much as anyone can miss a grandmother!  She was the best grandmother in the world and I've often found myself saying spontaneously to God, "Why did you take her so soon? I wasn't ready to let her go!)  I am not honoring her by hanging on to her old jewelry.  I don't wear it. I don't use it. I could truly sell it and give to the poor--that might please my grandmother.  That is heavenly and eternal...  Does that make sense?

Stuff immunity.

I started praying about the stuff problem about two weeks ago.  I wrote it in my prayer journal.  God is SO working.  Out of the blue, my husband had this disorder laid on his heart, too.  He said at the breakfast table, just out of the blue, "How in the world do so many Christian families even KNOW about Nintendo DS?"  Good question!  Is it commercials?  Is it just from spending too much time looking in stores and shopping? 

Stuff immunity.

I was once talking to a lady who was struggling with finances--facing insurmountable debt and stress because of it.  I know the problem.  She buys too much stuff.  She spends too much money.  WAY too much money. WAY, WAY, WAY too much.  She is dripping with too much stuff.  But she is in the serious last stages of the disease.  She wondered out loud if God was trying to teach her to have less anger, or to be more patient, or to read her Bible more, or to pray more.  But she was only ignoring what God really wanted from her.  Deep down she knows, but she would rather work on something else. She wants her stuff.  God really wants her to quit spending so much money and having so much stuff. He wants her to give up her stuff and follow Him. JUST LIKE THE RICH MAN. But she is immune to this.  If I mention to her "cutting back," she will defend herself about why she bought this or that, and why her children have this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this... and why her grocery budget can't be less than $____ because of who just has to have this, and this, and this, and this.... 

Stuff immune Disorder.

I'm nearly afraid it is terminal for her.

Now, I know I'm stepping on some toes.  Don't get defensive.  I understand we all have different gifts, different ministries, different interests, and different callings.  We all use different kinds of stuff and different amounts of stuff.  We all have husbands to submit to, and some of them are addicted to stuff worse than we are.  But like I am doing, I urge you to do as well:  Evaluate YOUR symptoms.  Pray. Ask God to help you improve in this area so that you can truly give up your earthly attachments and follow Him.  Deal with your stuff, and the things in your jurisdiction (no, don't sell your husband's three extra chainsaws and the 2,000 pounds of tools he never uses). And if you are reading this blog, know that I am praying for you, too.  And with that I sign off--but below I've pasted in a prior entry.  God bless.

P.S.  I forgot to mention that once you start the "Stuff Immunity Disorder"  cure, there are some side effects.  BE WARNED:
1.  Your budget will go further and you will be able to give more.  Your bills might even get paid.
2. You will begin using your time more effectively for the Lord--because you will be more organized. It will be easier to clean your house. You will not waste hours in useless fiction novels or in front of a video screen.
3. Your spiritual health will improve.
4.  You will not feel the same. 

The question is--do you want to change?
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Here is a portion of my prior entry that gives details on some of the things we did in the past to combat Stuff Immunity Disorder.  But remember, I'm still growing!

A Clean House: How We Do It

Several years ago, God saved our marriage and opened our eyes to His design for marriage.  Learning that the wife's designed purpose was to be a help meet to my husband, a keeper at home, I realized I had a LOT of changes to make. One of the first things I started praying for daily was that the Lord to show me how to organize my home, and how to keep it clean so that it would be a blessing to my husband and family.

During the tougher years of our marriage before we turned to God, I was such a mess spiritually/mentally, and it showed in our home.  I could never keep it clean daily--or weekly or monthly, for that matter. We usually lived in some sort of disheveled-bordering-chaos state, and only had a clean house on the rare occasion I spent one or two entire days cleaning for company.

When God showed me that being a keeper at home was my God-created purpose, I put it on my daily prayer list:  "God, please show me how to get my home clean and organized. Please show me how to keep it that way every day. Please show me how to make my home a testimony, and a sanctuary."

Well, it has been several years since I have started praying that prayer. And God, as ALWAYS, has been perfectly faithful in answering my prayers, and I have done my best to be obedient and keep pressing on towards the mark.

I look around my home today and compare it to the home I had then.  There is not a smidge of resemblance. God has transformed us so completely! We are able to keep the house orderly and organized, and our home has become a testimony.  We've had three children visiting our home lately (on separate occasions) who commented (referring to our choice of toys, our lack of TV, our cleanliness, the things we eat, etc), "This is the most Christian home I have ever been in!"  I asked, "What do you think? Is that good?"  They all replied, "It's great!" Some highlights of my journey and things we do now (followed by things God has shown me to still work on).

First, we GOT RID, GOT RID, GOT RID.  The only way to have peace and order is to have an amount of things that can be put in order! Step by step, God revealed to us one at a time the things that did not honor Him. First to go was the music--about 300 CDs. At first my husband started selling them on ebay, then we  were convicted that if we shouldn't have them, we shouldn't be the reason someone else had them, and God wouldn't be honored by money made from their sale.  So, into the trash they went. We have one small collection of our favorite Christian music, and we have some Christian audio books (i.e., Focus on the Family Radio Theater, and Henty Audio Books).

Then went the movies.  We kept what we thought were our favorites and ones that were decent, but one at a time, God continued to open our eyes to the subtle worldly philosophies we were allowing into our home.  I knew we were getting the hang of it when "The Little Mermaid"  and "Little House on the Prairie" went out the door.

Same for the books, even our children's books. Some of my lifelong favorites, even collected  "first editions" of ones like "Clan of the Cave Bear" went INTO THE TRASH.  God so convicted me of how I had polluted my mind with paganism, humanism, and sexual filth in the name of good writing. I really completely understood this concept when I attended the Basic Seminar of the Institute of Basic Life Principles and Bill Gothard said, "A truly good writer is one who controls your imagination, not provokes it."  I realized the world's concept of a good writer is completely different!  It was very life-changing for me because I have always been a writer, and I have always appreciated good writing. God changed me so completely. What I used to think was excellent and gifted writing, I now see it as trash.

Then went the TV.  We still have one. I use it sometimes for watching educational videos for School (S.M. Davis videos and other sermons, science and geography documentaries), but my daily rule now is that Mommy is not allowed to turn the TV on unless it is a school video.  Daddy is allowed to choose other programming--so sometimes the children get to watch some family favorites, and my husband and I sometimes scowl through the nightly news. But usually, after the day is done and dinner is over, the children clamor to have "family night" which means making hot tea or hot chocolate, then playing games in the living room.

Then the toys. I prayed for God to reveal to us what was wholesome, and wise for our children.  Away went all super heroes, Barbies, Polly Pockets, most video games, and anything addictive, materialistic, trendy, or having the "collectible" mentality. We had to get rid of Monopoly because my son became so agitated and greedy while playing! Then I watched, and day after day, week after week, I got rid off the dust collectors and the unnecessaries:  Games we never really played, toys that really didn't have a place or a purpose. Little by little, we organized completely to some basic types of toys, and then made a place for everything and put everything in that place.

For example, my 7-year-old daughter has:  Four baby dolls, and if she gets a new one, she must decide which one has to go. We limit it to four. She also has a baby swing, a baby high chair, a baby stroller, an antique child's table and chairs (used to be her grandmother's). Under her bed is a bin with all her doll clothes and accessories, which we go through about twice a year and anything that doesn't fit or doesn't get used has to go. She has a play kitchen with one bin of play food and dishes. She has a doll house with one bin of doll house furniture (a big old-fashioned doll house that my uncle made over 30 years ago for my cousin and my daughter inherited it, with all its lovely vintage furniture!). She has one one bucket of crayons and a stack of paper and coloring books/notebooks for her room for play (the rest of the art supplies we keep with the school things), she has a stack of wooden puzzles that are family heirlooms, and she has a shelf of her favorite stuffed animals (about 10, five of which are Build-A-Bears she has received as gifts on various birthdays). The box of Build-A-Bear clothes is kept in her closet. She has one small bin of her "favorite" toys and things she can share with her baby brother (i.e., a train whistle, a toy phone, a toy recorder, a pan flute from South America). And that's it. And she knows exactly where everything goes. And she can VERY quickly put it there.

My 12-year-old son has:  An ocean of Legos (sorted into his choice of bins and put away under the bed or on his shelves), one small bin of Hot Wheels, one jar of bouncy balls, one bin of small plastic animals (mostly for sharing with his baby brother or for entertaining younger children when they visit), and one bin of "Zip Zaps" with accessories.  He has a gameboy with a handful of games, but he is not allowed to play it at will. He has a personal CD player which he uses to listen to Henty audio books (He LOVES these and they are awesome), audio Bible CDs, sermons.  We do not let him listen to music through headphones. He does have a personal collection of books on a shelf in his room (his Christian biographies, Missionary hero tales, and Lamplighter books, etc.).  He has 2 or 3 computer games that we keep on the family computer and he is allowed to play on occasion with permission (he plays, on average, about once per week). And the rest of his things are outside:  Soccer ball, basketball and hoop, baseball equipment, bike, scooter, 4-wheeler, foxtail, frisbee, golf clubs, BB gun, .22 rifle.

Then we got rid of clutter:  Once through the house, then through it again, then again, then again. Load after load went to charity, or to very productive yard sales.  Each time through, God opened my eyes more and more to the things that were necessary versus the things that were not.  We trimmed and trimmed and trimmed, and we still look to trim every day.  For example:  We don't keep "classics" of fiction (i.e., "The Swiss Family Robinson") because we can always check it out at the library. Extra candles, games, puzzles, canned goods, craft supplies, fabric, patterns, yarn, spices, towels, blankets, knick knacks, dishes we never used, etc.  GONE.  I probably made about $4,000 dollars the past few years having yard sales or getting rid of things on ebay.  We continue to go through the house on a daily basis, and I have two rubber maid tubs stored in my office:  One for items I'm reselling on ebay, at the used store, or saving for a yard sale, and one for items going to charity I add something to them almost daily and empty them when we go to town:  even Christian books we've read but I know we will no longer look at again, clothing, kitchen ware, curriculum, etc.

THEN the CLOTHES.  Emilie Barnes and Elizabeth George helped me get a handle on this.  Our wardrobes are streamlined and simplified.  We have what we feel is the basic number of basics.  For example, about five pairs of jeans and five pairs of dress pants each for the men/boys, five casual skirts and five dressy skirts for the girls, and about five each of each basic type of top:  short sleeve polo, long-sleeve dress shirts, short sleeve t-shirts, long-sleeve T-shirts.  The boys each have one or 2 nice sweaters. Us girls have about 10 nice tops that go with everything.  My daughter has one or two nice dresses for special occasions at any given time. We keep it to the basics, and if one of the basics wears out, we replace the basic.  For example, one of my favorite denim skirts has just worn thin and tiny holes have started at the seams.  I will look carefully  and replace it with another denim skirt. It's that simple.  When my husband or son wears holes in a pair of jeans, I replace that pair of jeans.  When one pair of church pants is outgrown or gets holes, I replace that pair of pants.

Now, the chores.  Credit goes to the Steve and Teri Maxwell for this!  After reading "Managers of Their Homes" (M.O.T.H.), I learned to list all the household chores that it takes to keep our home looking the way it should look to be a testimony (right down to sweeping the porch, wiping out the microwave every day, and washing out the silverware drawer and cleaning the fridge once a week), and we keep them divided up among myself and the children.  After a friend told me about Maxwell's latest book, "Manager of Their Chores" (I think that's the title) and described it to me, I came up with a GREAT system for getting our daily chores done (God gets the credit--I know it was His grace that helped me!).  The children each have a daily checklist that has a checkbox for each daily chore as well as for their independent school work.  Thanks to a revelation God gave me while my children were reading some pioneer stories, chores are done first thing in the morning with a goal to have them all done by 9:00 a.m. so that we can continue the rest of our school day in an environment peace and order, and our home is set to be a testimony for the day (don't have to worry about that knock at the door!). Then their goal is to have their independent school work done by noon. Then I do my teaching and instructing portion in the afternoon while the baby takes his nap.  We're usually free after that to work on special projects or do anything else we like until it's time to start dinner and prepare for daddy to be home (which means touch up the house, which means we go to bed with it pretty clean and then the chores are done easily the next morning by 9:00 a.m.)
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Jan. 12, 2008

New Year's Resolutions: Simplified

I've always been torn between wanting to insist New Year's Resolutions are silly, and wanting to make several myself.  I mean, why only promise to improve yourself once a year?  Don't we have struggles and imperfections we are dealing with all year long? On the other hand, traditionally speaking, it is the time of year where people do give much more serious thought to changing and starting fresh.  There's something about opening that new, blank calendar that is inspiring.  It feels like a clean slate.  A BIG clean slate!

So, what do you resolve to change?  The list can be so long!  How do you pick?  Some people can quickly pick one "big ticket item," and that's it. I used to get carried away and end up with an overly ambitious list of 20 or more things, some big, some little, half of which I forgot by halfway through January.  Then I ended up feeling guilty, frustrated, and inadequate, and settled quickly back into having "just another year."

But, God has been growing me, and I feel like this year is going to be different.  I am only making one New Year's Resolution. 

Then one of them, which was a lawyer, asked him a question, tempting him, and saying, Master, which is the great commandment in the law?  Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.  Matthew 22:35-40

Based on that verse, I only need one New Year's Resolution:

1. To love God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

God places this commandment as the greatest, because He knows that if you keep this commandment, everything else "hangs" on this--everything else falls into place.  Everything.  Even everything on your New Year's Resolution list.

So, how can we keep this one resolution to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind?  It doesn't require trips to the gym, special diet menus, reorganizing your whole home.  It only requires a minute of fervent prayer each time the resolution comes to mind:

Dear God, please help me to love you with all my heart, soul, and mind. Please help me to love you more.

This is God's will.  If we pray it, He will give it.

And then just think of the blessings we will reap.  As you grow to love God with all y