May. 2, 2006 - Meet the real me
So what, exactly, is success??
I already know it's not a Martha Stewart Home. But beyond that ...
I'm troubled by feeling I'm not succeeding in anything, really. Not in my homemaking. Not in my child training. Not in providing healthy meals for my family. And certainly not in school.
"Oh, Kim," you say, "I'm sure you're doing fine!!"
What makes you say that? At what point do we draw the line and say that we're doing well enough? Is the line when our children are ... less dysfunctional than average when out in public?
"Oh, you know you can't measure it like that," you say, "After all, you're right where DO we draw the line? We ALL fall short of God's standards. That's why we're on our knees, getting by by God's grace each day. Leaning on His strength. That's where success is, at the foot of the cross. You know that."
You're right, I do know that, and I believe it ...
So why aren't I there? Why am I not before the Lord each day, confessing my sin and failures, receiving His grave and forgiveness and strength? Why am I not spending my days seeking Him for direction, for how to number my minutes aright, and earnestly praying for the hearts of my children, neighbors, and family and friends?
Why am I consistently running on Auto-Pilot when I know it's set to crash? Knowing I need Him to guide and direct, and turning around and forgetting, maybe not even thinking about it again for days? Why is the chasm between truth and living in it so far?
I can't tell you why. I would be a very different woman if I knew why and could fix it. All I can tell you is that it isn't success.
Comments
May. 2, 2006 - Humbling....
Posted by FaithfulGrace
Your blog post is very humbling. It humbles me for it is raw with courage to admit that even "trying" is hard right now. And it humbles me, that far to many times I am to prideful to even admit that I'm not there yet.
Thank you for your continued transparency and honesty.
Each day is a new one, may He who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above more than we can think or ask grant you your hearts desire. To seek Him and serve Him in all things.
Thank you
God bless,
Linda
May. 2, 2006 - I can't tell you either
Posted by Amber
All I can tell you is that our Lord is LOVING and MERCIFUL, but most of all he's PATIENT! And bcz He's patient, we can keep trying so that He can mold us into what HE wants us to become. I will pray for you, please do the same for me:)
God Bless,
Amber
May. 2, 2006 - You go girl!
Posted by tallenmomof5
I love to see a heart that is restless and hungry for the will of God. I can't wait to see what you do with this hunger.
Blessings,
Trish
May. 2, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by writmm
I just want you to know you are not alone. I seem to find time to do so many things in my life, but not enough time for God. I know that is wrong, but can't seem to change it for more than a few days at a time. Thank God for being merciful and forgiving, I know I task his patience continually.
May. 3, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by ChathamMommy
*hugs!!*
I posted on my blog for you. I'll just leave you Psalm 42:1 and a prayer.
May. 3, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by HoweyHomestead
Wow! Such transparency. Thank you for being so humble. There are so many times I am on "auto-pilot" and people will say that it is o.k. But my soul knows it is not o.k. and the Lord provides that restlesness to turn me back to Him. I know I need Him, but why am I not always desperate for more of Him? No answers, just letting you know I totally relate.
Blessings,
Robbin
May. 4, 2006 - me too, me too
Posted by chickadee
i need to ponder on your words tonight.
May. 4, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by maureenmichele
I think the "real you" is the "real" all of us. I wonder what power there is to be had in consistency with the Lord? I will probably never know. But you aren't any "worse" than anyone else. I bet no-one here can say, "I have my time with the LORD every day. I am faithful to all He wants me to be, and I consistantly raise my children as He directs." If there are, come over to my blog because I want to hear from you....
Love and little hugs -- you will be fine. Acknowledging one's need is the most important step in allowing the LORD to work in one's life.
May. 4, 2006 - Hello
Posted by 3menandalittlelady
I hopped over here from another blog. I love the title up there. I hope it counts as school!LOL Anyway, I just want to say that you are not alone on this success thing. God just wants ALL of me, and that is a hard thing to do-TOTALLY surrender everything. Just when I am getting better in one area, another thing pops up and causes trouble. Oh, we are all on this road together, but just at different places at different times, and maybe even travelling in different ways-but still on this same road. And it is wonderful because we all have the same travelling companion! Christ himself. No matter where you are He is with you, calling you, drawing you. He is just waiting for you to stop and talk to Him. He is a goodGod and always will be!! Bless your day!!
Beth
