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Child
number 2 (Reed) is a tomboy. Makes sense--she is best buddies with
child #1 who is a boy. She holds number 3 and 4 (girls) in great
disdain LOL. I was a tomboy, so I am not sure why it bothers me
so much, except that I think she really wants to be a boy. Not in
a gender altering way, or a sexual thing (she's only 7) but in a
woe-is-me my-life-is-miserable -so-I-will-make -everyone-
around-me-miserable kind of way. I am sure you don't have days
like that in your house, but it happens here from time to time.
Like tonight when Spenser had a friend sleep over. A friend that
Reed adores. They are the 3 amigos (or stooges, depending on
their mood LOL). So when it was bedtime, Reed was dismayed that
she didn't get to sleep with the boys, despite the fact that this same
scenario has been repeated umpteen times in the past 3 years that he
has been their friend. So she started whining and I blew a
gasket and fussed at her and told her the sooner she realized she was a
girl, the happier we would all be. And that she wouldn't ever get
to sleep with a boy until she's married (wow imagine this same
conversation in 10 years LOL and it takes on all kinds of other
meanings) Anyway I handled it poorly and she went to her room and cried herself to sleep, so now I have big mommy guilt. Then dh shows me a passage from Caddie Woodlawn, which he just read for some odd reason, and here's what the dad says to Caddie (who was a tomboy and had been punished by her mother for something her brothers had also done): "Perhaps Mother was a little hasty today, Caddie," he said. "She really loves you very much, and, you see, she expects more of you than she would of someone she didn't care about. It's a strange thing, but somehow we expect more of girls than of boys. It is the sisters and wives and mothers, you know, Caddie, who keep the world sweet and beautiful. What a rough world it would be if there were only men and boys in it, doing things in their rough way! A woman's task is to teach them gentleness and courtesy and love and kindness. It's a big task, too Caddie-- harder than cutting trees or building mills or damming rivers. It takes nerve and courage and patience, but good women have those things. They have them just as much as the men who build bridges and carve roads through the wilderness. A woman's work is something fine and noble to grow up to, and it is just as important as a man's. But no man could ever do it so well. I don't want you to be the silly, affected person with fine clothes and manners whom folks sometimes call a lady. No, that is not what I want for you, my little girl. I want you to be a woman with a wise and understanding heart, healthy in body and honest in mind. Do you think you would like to be growing up into that woman now? how about it, Caddie, have we run with the colts long enough?" |
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Posted by 5atkins
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