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When They're All Preschoolers
Sometimes I get the neat experience of meeting someone who reads the P and P blog and also lives near me. Rachel and I recently got to meet, but before that we had been corresponding by email. She is expecting her sixth and will have six under seven next year!
My oldest, on the other hand, will turn 15 in less than two weeks. Life for me with eight will be easier than life for Rachel with her six. And while our little one due in May will be just 14 months younger than his big brother, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to ask Rachel for some survival tips. And I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share them with you, too:
1. Scheduling babies. I have done this (with flexibility) with most of my babies, and it helps so much! I get much needed sleep at nights and naptime, and baby seems happier.*
2. Rest time. All my children take at least a one hour rest time away from everyone else (I have to get creative here since we are running out of rooms to put people!) I let the ones who are not napping to play with quiet toys or read books. They have to clean up their rest spot after the timer goes off before they allowed to come out. I totally need this break for me! My brain needs a break to focus on something without being interrupted constantly. I use it to read, take a nap, catch up on emails, or whatever I need to do. The children know to stay in their rest spots and not call me.
3. Training time. I just learned to do this last year from a dear Mom of many. I take about 10 minutes most days to practice obedience. We started with "yes, Mommy." I quietly call them over and ask them to do something, and they respond with a "yes, Mommy" (or ma'am if you prefer - my hubby vetoed that). We make it fun and happy. They have practiced "come here," and where to stand when someone comes to the door (instead of crowding around and blocking the entrance.) We also learned Phil.2:3-4 together to learn loving our brothers and sisters - I tell them that it is their job to help make their younger siblings happy. For them that means sharing, giving, and being selfless. (I don't know yet what I will tell my youngest regarding that rule!)
4. Having the older ones do chores and help me when I need it. We are working on this one, but my oldest two are great helpers, and the younger ones are learning to be!
5. Personal exercise and Bible time. I get up before my children to do these, or they don't get done. Of course my personal Bible time is more important than exercise, but having just recently started exercising again, I see why the Bible says that "physical training is of some value." 1 Tim. 2:8 Sometimes the Bible time I have with the children is the only Bible I get all day, but God has spoken to me through that, too. Oh, and I do Bible time with the children while they are eating breakfast. That way, I have a captive audience.
6. Be flexible. There are days that nothing gets done. Nothing. I am blessed to have a patient husband because the house rarely is picked up - it was much worse when my oldest two were really little. Three children 3 and under is harder than five children 6 and under!
7. Honor and respect my husband. If I put my husband first (second to God, but before my children), our relationship stays strong and it frees me up to do the best I can as a mother.
8. Simplify. I stay home a lot more than when I only had one or two! We don't make weekly trips to the library, but maybe once a month. We only this year started sport-type classes with our children, and even then, they are small commitments, with no games, programs, etc. We also stopped having big birthday bashes, and found out we prefer to have just our immediate family celebrate together. We may have a 1st birthday party and maybe one when they are older, but not every year. Also under simplify that I am learning is have a night routine that gets me ready for the morning. It took me a long time to realize my mornings would be a lot smoother if I had the coffee pot ready, hubby's shirt ironed, his lunch made, my clothes ready, etc. Another thing is to cook in bulk. I love when I make our favorite chicken dish x4 and freeze the extras so that I can pull it out of the freezer and pop it in the oven with minimal effort.
Wow, I came up with more than I thought I would. Funny thing is, it sounds like I "have it together" and I really don't! At least I see that there are things that I do well. All I see sometimes is the never shrinking pile of clean laundry and dirty kitchen floor! Mark (hubby) and I are watching the Growing Kids God's Way video series with friends of ours. I am so happy we are watching it together to be on the same page, and for Mark to lead us. I always have read the parenting books, but don't restate things very well, and my parenting during the day was different when Daddy was home... I learned very recently that I was angry at him for not helping me at night with the children, and I would take it out on them (not pretty at all). For some reason, I thought that if I lost my self control and start yelling at them, he would see what a hard time I was having and would help me. I'm embarrassed to say it took me a long time to realize that what I was doing was wrong! (Thus the reason for me adding "honor and respect my husband" on my list.)
My hardest time with my little ones is training when they are 1/2/3years old - and that is foundational! For some reason, I have never been good at training them...maybe my expectations are low? My two year old runs the other way when I say, "Come here!" My just turned four year old son right now has been our hardest by far. We don't know if he is just "all boy" or if he is hyper, or what! When I was on my knees one day, I felt that God told me it was his diet. We are going to start the Feingold program (aka ADHD diet) that eliminates artificial colors and flavors. My hubby and I doubt it will help though, isn't that awful?! Of course a bunch of his behavior is our parenting, I am sure - if not most of it.
-Rachel
Good stuff, eh? Rachel, thanks so much for your transparency. We can all relate to at least several of your struggles, I'm sure.
*I'll be addressing the hows and whys of scheduling a baby in an upcoming post.
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Beat Winter Burn Out!
• Take a week off from academics and focus on skills like woodworking, cooking, baking, sewing, drawing, knitting, crafts, gardening, computer, shooting, knife-throwing, archery, etc.
Some helpful websites for skill-building:
http://heartsandtrees.blogspot.com (Homeschool graduate shares all kinds of wonderful and do-able ideas. Her kits are nicely done and inexpensive, but you don’t have to spend a dime to get ideas from her blog.)
http://cp.c-ij.com/english/3D-papercraft/index.html (Great free downloads to print out and let the kids create.)
http://ihavetosay.typepad.com/meandmygirl/ (A mom’s blog with neat ideas from snow cones to basic crafting skills. Aimed at the elementary crowd.)
http://www.biglearning.com/treasurewoodworking.htm (Basic wordworking tips, tutorials, and info for kids.)
http://www.artistshelpingchildren.org/howtodraw.html (Free step-by-step drawing lessons.)
http://www.copper-tree.ca/garden/index.html (Kids’ gardening, from planning to harvest.)
http://www.knifethrowing.info/ (General knife-throwing site.)
You can also order a knife-throwing DVD and practice knife from the Vision Forum link on the sidebar.
• Take a hiatus from formal science and explore nature together. Early spring is the perfect time to get out for a drive to see the blossoms, splash in the creek, pack a picnic lunch and explore a pond, or venture to the foothills where you can photograph or paint the landscape and animals.
Some helpful websites for nature study:
www.treasureboxpress.com/catalog/item/3107126/2842429.htm#image_1
http://heartsandtrees.blogspot.com/2008/02/indoor-nature-study-idea-tabletop.html
www.backyardnature.net
• Get out in the yard and play! Forget all the game rules you knew as a kid? Try this site:
http://familyfun.go.com/games/indoor-outdoor-games/specialfeature/summer-games-june/index.html?CMP=NL_Wkdr
• Implement an afternoon tea time. This can be really simple-- serve tea and hot chocolate, apple slices, cheese cubes, and store-bought cookies.
• Build forts in the family room and let the kids do their school work inside. Give them a shoe box for a mailbox and write each other notes.
• Plan a restaurant for dinner. Make a menu, assign everyone a task (waiter, sous chef, etc.) and surprise dad when he gets home.
• Send the older kids on a treasure hunt. Not as difficult as it sounds! Make clues the night before and make the prizes be breakfast, a run to 7-11 for Slurpees, choosing a chore to skip for the day, extra free time.
• Declare “Board Game Day” and set up tournaments with the ultimate winner getting to choose dessert.
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Reality
This post is for Lois, Kristi, and Dana, all of whom were in my home Saturday for our church's bi-annual Homeschool Encouragement Day. Of course, the downstairs was neat and tidy (except I didn't mop the kitchen floor  ) and so we talked about how easy it is to assume someone else's homeschooling house is always cleaned up. In fact, when my family was helping me get it into order, my oldest son said wisely, "Mom, if you really want to encourage the ladies, then we shouldn't be cleaning up." Ha! True. But I did want to make it a nice environment for everyone so we made sure the bathroom was clean and the clutter was at least tossed upstairs.
But the challenge from the ladies above was to take pictures of our homes during the "real" times. Here you go, girls. These photos are from Sunday afternoon, 4:30 p.m.
Hmmm... the Sunday paper, half-eaten coffee cake, my ice tea glass with spoon, various other glasses, and the mess left from several children cracking walnuts on the counter in the background.
Some kinda creativity goin' on. Drawing on walnuts and building with straws, complete with stuff on the counters and desk. When we re-do this kitchen, the desk is history. It's a stuff-magnet.
So now it's your turn. Anybody want to share the reality of life as a busy homeschooling household?
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Happy Valentine's Day!
Battling Eczema
We have a darling girl in our home whom we once dubbed "Crabby Abby". Oh my. I'd never had nor been around a grumpier, more unhappy baby in my life. She cried for the first 15 months of her life, until we finally could put our finger on the source of the problem-- painful eczema caused by allergies to citrus and eggs.
The hardest thing for me to learn in regards to eczema is that it doesn't have a cure. One of the first people I spoke to told me wisely, "You'll never beat it, you just have to learn to manage it." Once I came to grips with that fact, I set to work trying to make Abby's life as comfortable as possible.
First, the allergies. I wanted to get to the root of the problem rather than just slap some steroids onto her skin. She was a baby, after all, and I knew there had to be a better way. We took her to an allergist who pin-pointed the trouble-makers as citrus and eggs. We immediately eliminated all sources of citrus in her diet, including citric acid which is a preservative used in just. about. everything. It wasn't easy. When she was around five years old, she announced that she wanted to eat eggs and so we told her she could, but that she had to realize what the consequences might be. That really was a turning point in her care because she took the reigns and has nicely managed it on her own ever since.
In addition to eliminating and now allowing her to choose when and if to eat the foods that tend to cause her to flare up, we've made a few other changes. She sleeps with a humidifier going all winter long, because the cold, dry weather exacerbates the issue. I put a few drops of tea tree oil in the water to keep the humidifier sanitized, too.
We used pure coconut oil for several years on her patches of eczema, but this past year we've used Miracle Skin Salve exclusively. The coconut oil was soothing but the Miracle Skin Salve not only soothes, it heals. Amazing. We passed some on to my mother-in-law who has suffered from eczema for 75 years and she has raved about it, too.
We can't use regular laundry soap, so we use Charlie's Soap. All natural, no dyes or perfumes, and extremely economical. No fabric softeners, either-- we put vinegar in the washer's spin basket and not only does it soften, but it doesn't leave a scent at all.
Lastly, we try very hard to limit the time Abby is in hot water, and we don't use soap. The combination of the two sends her into scratching fits that can be heard down the hall from her bedroom. Again, she manages this and aside from a gentle reminder every once in awhile from me, I really don't tell her how long she should bathe or how hot the water should be. It looks as if eczema will always be a part of her life, and the better she becomes at managing it herself, the easier it will be to live with. |
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Surviving Pregnancy
Some of you have been waiting a really, really, long time for me to answer your emails, and for that I apologize. Hopefully it just makes you realize that I am normal and have a threshold for what I can handle, just like you! I am not Supermom
Kendra,
If you have time and think it would help other moms, can you talk a little about how you survive the last 2 weeks of pregnancy and the first 4-6 weeks postpartum, when the baby starts sleeping longer stretches? We have a daily schedule, meals in the fridge, and a somewhat structured home. We have three little girls right now, ages 6, 4, and 2, with #4 due today, and obviously not here! We are homeschooling the oldest two, and started school back in June so we could take our ‘summer’ when the baby comes, and just do as much school as we need for sanity & structure.
Thank you so much for your encouragement & example!
Melanie
Hi Melanie-
Well, if I've figured correctly, that sweet baby due "today" is now two months old. Yipes! I am behind, aren't I???
You know, my life is very different now than when I had the same ages as yours: 6, 4, 2, and a newborn. For one thing, having older kids is an amazing amount of help, and for another, I actually have help coming into my house now. I'll blog on that later, but suffice it to say that I think those earlier years when the oldest of four is just six years old are HARD.
My husband can't take time off from work. Once a patient actually got upset with his receptionist when she told him that my husband wasn't in the office because his wife was in labor. Between impatient patients and running his dental practice solo, he just can't be away from the office very long. I can't remember which baby, but with one who was born in the morning, he actually went back to work and saw patients in the afternoon. I just can't rely on him for help and I marvel at the dads who are given a paid six-week paternity leave. If that's your husband, be thankful!
As for surviving the last two weeks, I can tell you that I haven't been very good about it in the past. The pressure that feels like a bowling ball (you all can relate, I'm sure), the sleeplessness, the exhaustion, the constant heartburn, and my sciatic nerve keeping me in pain made those last weeks a marathon of emotional and physical endurance.
But then the last pregnancy was completely different, although considering the pregnancy (my eighth), the fact that it was on the heels of a miscarriage, and my age (36), it shouldn't have been. But the last pregnancy was the first one in which I was taking a fabulous supplement and having regular chiropractic care. One or the other or both made all the difference in the world.
It might be a good idea to store up freezer meals during the second trimester when we feel good. Then in the last few weeks, dinner is done. I'd also think about super-simple meals the rest of the day-- cereal or peanut butter toast for breakfast and cheese, crackers, and apples for lunch. If that's what you serve for 14 straight days, it's ok. It's a season. Oh, and eliminate or simplify snacks. You don't need a fourth meal to clean up. Oh, AND, eat outside where the crumbs don't have to be swept up 
In the weeks postpartum, life is about survival and being a kind mom. I'm a failure at this. Apparently day four is my worst, or so my husband has noticed. So I am already thinking about what I can do to be prepared for the day my hormones all attack at once and I am an exhausted, crying mess (wow, I sound pathetic, don't I?). I might try to see if some of my littler or "trickier" ones can have a play date at a friend's home, or if I just need to sit the older ones down and let them know that I need to be in bed for the day. My older ones are all so sweet when I have a need like that, but when I just had little ones like you, I think the best thing would have been to ask a friend to take them for the day.
Take the first few weeks or months (whatever you need) postpartum to ease into life. This is a great time to invite all the children to snuggle in bed with you in the morning and turn on a short video to watch together. Take the day slowly. Don't stress about school. Enjoy the baby but insist everyone have an afternoon rest or nap time. Make hot cocoa with marshmallows and read picture books aloud while recouping on the couch. Keep the little ones close by so they aren't in another room destroying everything in reach.
I am sorry it took me so long to respond to your questions, but hopefully your postpartum weeks went well.
Blessings,
Kendra
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How Big Brothers Babysit
Socialization
Little Ones With Minds of Their Own
Hi Kendra,
I'm always especially interested in your posts on very young children as I have
a 2 1/2-year-old daughter. I wondered if you have ever run into this issue and
could share any insight?
When I initially began reading the Bible, Bible stories, books with Christian
values, etc. and praying with my daughter, she was very receptive to it.
However, in the last couple of months, she wants nothing to do with discussion
or stories about God or Jesus (although she will still say her mealtime and
bedtime prayers and still talks about God and Jesus herself). She just starts
whining or yelling or says "No, I don't want to!" "Don't read that!" or
something along those lines. I really want to start implementing a circle time
or devotions or short reading from the Bible with her daily (it would just be
her and I). I've really tried to keep it "fun" and interesting and not been pushy at all. Is this just a phase? How do I
handle this? Any ideas as to what could be causing this resistance to anything
God-related? (I should mention she loves being read to with any other type of
books).
Thanks so much and I look forward to an answer. I know you are a very busy
lady!
In Christ,
Kathy
Dear Kathy,
I titled this post the way I did because of course children have minds of their own! But that doesn't mean they know what's best for them, and that's why God set up families with parents to nurture and guide the young. You should continue reading to her about her God, but maybe you need to change your approach for a little while.
My first thought is that maybe you need to just read to her the books about God, the stories from the Bible and the like, but forget any discussion. Maybe if you're asking her questions about the stories, she feels pressured and uncomfortable. Just allow these reading times to be casual and informal, a part of the spiritual ebb and flow of your days.
I would also talk very naturally about God as you go about your day. When the rain softly falls, say something like, "Look, honey! That beautiful rain is a gift from God so that all the flowers and plants will live." Or, "Daddy is coming home soon. Isn't God good to have given us such a wonderful daddy?" Your observations of the goodness of God will foster her own.
Blessings,
Kendra |
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Children Who Don't Sleep
Kendra-
Just wondering if you have any good advice on
managing my home with a two-year-old who has almost grown out of naps
and a two-month-old who is a light sleeper. It is just the beginning
for me as far as family is concerned ( we hope!), so understanding
how to manage is very important to me. I just feel like I never get a
clear routine or even down-time at all because of my non-sleeping
children.
I could tell you a typical day, but you can probably
imagine when you think of one who rarely sleeps (and still doesn't
sleep through the night) and one who wakes up at any little thing,
even with music and the white noise machine going. Wow, I'm not
really sure how anything will ever get done, much less future
homeschooling! I'm sure you're overwhelmed with emails, so I'll
understand if your answer is brief, or takes a while to get back to me.
Thank you, and God bless you for your hard work as a mother, wife,
teacher, and disciple of Jesus!
Love, Allison
Dear Allison-
I have long said that the hardest time for me as a mother was when I had a two-year-old and a newborn. Truly, my seven are easier from day-to-day than your two are right now.
That said, can I give you some gentle advice? I wouldn't offer if you hadn't asked Those babies (yes, the two-year-old is a baby) need to sleep. I don't give any child under the age of five the option to drop a nap. Even if the almost-five-year-olds are ready to drop it, they still have to be on their beds resting for at least an hour and a half. When the day begins around 7 a.m. and ends around 8 p.m., it is a long time for a little one to go without sleeping. I know, because if ever I venture into a store in the afternoon, I encounter cranky, whiny, tired little ones. Little ones who ought to be home in bed.
I can't really imagine a two-year-old not sleeping through the night, and I am not saying that to be critical. I just so firmly believe in training babies to sleep though the night as soon as possible, and it's all I know. We do snuggle them in bed with us early on, we do comfort and hold them a lot, and love all over them. But I am a firm believer in flexibly scheduling a baby. The deal is, my newborns are always so sleepy that I have to wake them to feed them anyway; why not wake them on a schedule? By the time they are a little more wakeful- voila!- they are already on a schedule and on their way to dropping the middle-of-the-night feedings. By three months, they are sleeping 10-12 hours straight at night, with two daily naps of 90 minutes each, plus a cat nap in the early evening. And you know what? They are happy when they are awake because they are well-rested.
It's not too late to get the baby onto some sort of a schedule. If you need some help, there are good books out there, although I confess to not having read them: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems are the two I have been told positive things about. Preschoolers and Peace readers are so good about commenting and offering resources, so glean from that all you can. I know the debates inside and out (I've been doing this parenting thing for quite awhile now ), so be forewarned that if a debate ensues in the comments here, I will delete them. We're trying to give Allison some help, not argue the different philosophies of demand feeding/schedule feeding/attachment parenting.
As for your two-year-old, all of my kids have gone through a stage when they thought they were done with naps. I just smile and say, "Have a good nap!" when I put them down. If they choose to talk/cry/scream/sing, then that's the choice they make. Eventually they tire out and get the picture: naps aren't optional here when you're a preschooler. If your two-year-old won't stay on their bed, read this. I have been there and done that, too!
You are right, Allison. Homeschooling might not be impossible if you don't have sleeping children, but it will certainly steal all the joy right out of your life. And accomplish very little. You need your sleep, too, mama.
Blessings,
Kendra |
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A Peace Place, Part II
Our Peace Place binder is filled with all the things Ann suggests. In a moment of anger or when a child recognizes the need to collect themselves, the Peace Place provides some tools to help. And of course prayer. Heaps and heaps of prayer.
One of the other things we just haven't been able to get a handle on is the lack of verbal kindness between the children. For the most part, they get along well, but daily there are some very unkind words exchanged, impatience, annoyances, and the like. I needed something that would get their attention in the moment. Something poignant and drastic.
My husband came up with the idea of giving them ways to serve one another instead of verbally tearing each other down. So in the Peace Place we also have a jar filled with pieces of paper with service opportunities. If we observe unkind speech in a child, we immediately send them to the Peace Place to repent, pray, and then select a service opportunity from the jar. Service ops include:
Pick up their room for them.
Do their chores for them today if they aren’t done, tomorrow if they already are.
Do their evening chores for them.
Write them a note telling them the good things you are seeing in their life.
Help them with a project they choose.
Play something they want to play with them.
Fold their clothes for them. Pray for them as you fold each piece.
Shine their church shoes for them.
Give up your Friday computer time for them.
Make their bed for them.
Do their dinner job for them.
Some of the jobs are less "painful" than others, but we learn to love people more deeply when we have served them in a sacrificial way. And that's really the point. |
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A Peace Place, Part I
Turtle Funeral
We had a little funeral here last week. Our nine-year-old's beloved "Minn" died unexpectedly, and he was one sad boy. So the children and I gathered ourselves for a funeral by the pond. The oldest boy read a eulogy (I had to keep from giggling) and we said our goodbyes.
One of the girls dressed for the service...
Minn's sad caretaker...
And Minn's roommate Timmy said goodbye, too...
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Preschool Planning
I'm a bit late on the preschool planning this year. The 9th grader is taking the bulk of my planning time, but the beauty is that once I've planned his, the others will be easier to plan as they hit the grades he's already finished because the skeleton will have been built. I tweak each year to fit the child, so things change a bit; still, the framework tends to remain the same.
Our preschooler this year will be four in December. She's our Beach Babe
She knows her basic phonics sounds, thanks to Leap Frog Talking Letter Factory (see sidebar), but as I prefer the vertical approach to teaching and learning phonics, we still have phonics to learn. What's a vertical approach to phonics? In a nutshell, it means that all the phonics sounds are taught for each letter as you go, as opposed to a horizontal approach wherein the child learns just the short vowel sounds and one sound per letter, going back to learn a letter's other sounds later. If you want to know more, you can read about it at VerticalPhonics.com.
By way of example, though, the child using the vertical phonics method would learn that the sounds the letter "A" makes are "a" as in "cat", "ay" as in "plate", and "ah" as in "talk".
Our current preschooler is a girl, which tailors some of our choices. Dolls come to mind- my boys weren't much interested in those Here are our choices for this year, and in a future post I'll share our daily routine, as well:
Preschool Workbooks
Craft bags, made for her by her big brother, but also available from My Lil' Picasso
Nursery Rhyme Pockets
DK Children's Illustrated Bible
Lauri Puzzles (see sidebar)
Arts and crafts and table activities get rotated or little ones get easily bored:
M- Clay
T- Fingerpaints
W- Wikki Stix
Th- Stamps
F- Coloring pages or Paper Craft
M- Trains
T- Wedgits
W- Dolls
Th- Duplo
F- Preschooler's choice: weaving loom, pegs, or lacing cards
What's going on in your preschool this year?
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Memory CD Testimony
I received this email recently and knew it had to be shared. Mystie's story has lit a fire under me to get going on some new CDs for my little ones!
Kendra,
I've been doing circle time with my two boys since my oldest was 2 1/2,
ever since I saw the suggestion on preschoolersandpeace.com. We were
working on Psalm 1 and the Catechism for Young Children. However, we got
out of our groove while we were in the process of moving, I was in the
first trimester, and then our renovations of the house we bought got
delayed and we were living in chaos -- and no kitchen -- for a month.
So, things were crazy and memory stuff didn't get worked on. I
remembered your suggestion for recording a "Mommy CD" and so as I was
putting together goals and a plan for this coming year, I made a CD with
everything I wanted to accomplish in the next year or year and a half:
the entire catechism (145 questions), the Apostle's Creed, the Ten
Commandments, the Lord's Prayer, Psalm 139, and a few others. Then I
filled the rest of the CD with songs and stories. My oldest has been
listening to it for a month during his quiet time and we began our new
routine last week. We hadn't hardly worked on the Apostle's Creed before
and he was saying it by himself on the second day; not only that, but he
had also vastly improved on his catechism answers, just by hearing it
every day. Today I decided to introduce the next three questions and
answers (Q&A 31-33) and he immediately answered them and only needed a
little help with his pronunciation! So I decided to keep going to see
just how much he'd already picked up and he got through Q&A 138 before
requesting to stop and use the bathroom. :) He needed some promptings on
quite a few (especially reciting the Ten Commandments) but only
completely missed 7.
Ok, so I'm bragging to you and I don't even know you and you don't know
me, but I just wanted to tell you that I am very grateful for your
suggestions on preschoolersandpeace.com and suggest to you that you
emphasize that Mommy CD more, because it really works! Also, ever since
I made it for him, he's been eager for quiet time and doesn't complain
about going down. Some days he even asks at 10 in the morning if he can
go take his quiet time and listen to his CD. :) Now I'm starting to
think I might have to buy a little CD player for my 2-year-old and make
him a CD, too. :)
Thank you!
Mystie
pelennorfields.com/mystie |
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Evenings
We have some pretty neat friends. Because our church is family-integrated, we tend to have dads (moms, too) who are whole-heartedly devoted to the spiritual development of their kids, and most of the dads would consider their kids to be their hobby. Neat, huh?
Recently we were enjoying a meal with Carl and Jennifer, parents of three young women ages 18, 13, and almost 9. Carl was telling us about their evenings and how they have dedicated each night to a different activity together, making the most of the time. As he put it, our families are on a ship and it is the dad’s job to be cruise director, making his ship the most attractive place for his kids to be. Carl is quite the cruise director- a fun dad who cheers his girls on when they accomplish something and leads them into great adventures.
We, too, began to plan our evenings together. All too often we found we just sort of fell apart after family worship and dinner clean-up had ended. So here’s what we have for the summer:
Mondays- Music Night. Either live performances from any or all of us or listening to classical, jazz, or good retro selections.
Tuesdays- Game Night/Swim Night. And swimming is never just swimming- cannonball contests, “jump/dive” (the game where the person prepares to jump or dive and once they’ve left the diving board someone on the sidelines yells the command to either jump or dive and the jumper/diver must perform the task from mid air, often resulting in hilarious belly flops), breath-holding contests, etc.
Wednesdays- Letter Writing Night. We have friends and family in far away places who can always use our encouragement. This usually becomes quite the drawing/stickers/coloring night as well.
Thursdays- Reading Night. Everyone grabs a book and heads to the living room to flop down somewhere comfy and read. More fun than it sounds- You can imagine that often the book of choice is Calvin and Hobbes or The Far Side and so we share a good many laughs, too.
Fridays- Family Movie Night. Self-explanatory, right? We don’t always watch movies, but my husband has already blogged on this so I’ll let him tell it.
In addition, we save our exercising most days until the evening. So a girl or two usually joins me for Slim in Six while the boys have some elaborate running plan. Much more fun to be a girl around here And before you ask, yes I will soon blog on exercise for the post-partum mom and why I love Slim in Six.
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Baby on the Grass
Pretzels
Summertime Peace
Traditionally, summer is a time to kick back and enjoy life. Initially I thought that meant that any schedule and routine could just be put to the wayside, but the reality was that my children didn’t function well without the sense of routine we always had during the school year. They bickered more. They accomplished just about nothing. And they complained when asked to do something worthwhile.
It took me about a week to realize that while we didn’t need to be following a school-year schedule, we did need at least a flow chart, or some concrete goals for the summer. And having a routine actually frees us to be spontaneous; I don't worry so much that we are fritting away our time because I know that on most days, we are being productive.
Yesterday I sat down and wrote out a routine, including the activities I would need to get the two older boys to every day for 11 weeks of the summer. I took the baby’s naptimes into account, and the goals the children have made for themselves.
Times are estimate and I really don't stick too closely to them. But listing times helps me to see if what I've planned will realistically fit in a day.
Summer Circle Time and Daily Schedule
10:00
Psalm
Prayer
Devotional: Finish Grandpa's Box
Hymns for a Kid’s Heart
Songs CVP Worship Book (our church's book)
Catechism Review
Manners: Boys and Manners
Table Manners
Memory Work 1 John 4:7,8
Proverbs 31:10-31
Psalm 1
Psalm 23
Seeds CDs
Cards Nat’l Geographic
Art cards
Walk Through the Bible Old and New Testament Cards
11:30
Chores For those who didn’t finish before breakfast
Math
Summer Catch Up H- Omni, Latin,
N- Logic, Spelling,Latin
J- Greek, Thinking Skills
Ab- Spelling, Cursive
C- Reading, Phonics, HW
Copywork H & N- Choose book of the Bible
J- Complete 06/07, choose book of the Bible
A- Copywork for Little Girls
*N to Lifeguarding at 12:10*
1:00
Read Aloud at Lunch
2:00
Swim 30 mins after lunch
2:30
Quiet Hour
*H and N to water polo at 3:10*
3:30
Summer Projects
4:30, 5:00
Swim/Free
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"Early to Bed, Early to Rise" Isn't Scripture
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From Katie:
Thank you for mentioning to me (a while back) that you have your smaller ones stay in bed until 8:00. I have an early riser who would get up at 5:45 sometimes and that would begin my day. I recently have been having the girls stay in their beds until 7:00 and we are all much happier and they are more rested. They even sleep longer now, at times, because they know they have to be there until 7:00. I set their alarm for 7:00 and when they come in to get me we're all a happy group (we used to be a grumpy group when they woke up particularly early).
I thought this would be a hard transition, but it's actually been so easy! I don't know how you do it, but I let them take some books to bed at night so they have something to do in the morning if they wake up early. Just wanted to thank you and I also thought that this might be a great topic for a blog because it has really improved my life.
Some time ago I just came to grips with the fact that I don’t do mornings well. I’ve heard all the rhetoric but I don’t buy it; I’ve heard the sermons, I’ve read the devotionals and the blogs that equate early mornings with better spirituality, but I just can’t agree. For me, seven hours of sleep most often happens between 1 a.m. and 8 a.m.
And so I have trained my little ones to stay in their rooms until at least 7:30. Many times they hop on my bed and cuddle with me and the nursing baby, other times they get going on their morning stuff. It works for us. Our days look like an early-riser’s day, the hours are just shifted a little later.
I think I learned this early. My mom used to put a cup of Cheerios in my crib and that bought her an extra 30 minutes in the morning
Most importantly, what works for you?
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