When you read that title, you just cringe.  Surely, the vehicle is 110 degrees inside or the children are rampaging about, monkeying with the brake release and gear shift.  Or maybe not. 

I have an old and dear friend with three little boys much like my own, just younger, and who lives in Virginia.  Recently, while her two older boys age 5 and 7, I believe, were at school, her two year old started with a bad case of the runs. So, not knowing when her husband would be making it in from work and being a health food fanatic, she put the sick baby in the car for the short drive to a natural food store (Trader Joe's) to get some broth, supplements, and other healthy liquids.  At a traffic light, almost there, he threw up all over himself and the inside of the car, despite the bowl she brought with him just in case.  She pulled over and cleaned him up as best as she could and decided to press on, since the store was only 5 minutes away.  Listless and sick as he was, and wet with vomit, she decided that rather than pull him out into the 50 degree weather or risk him vomiting again in the store, he would be better off resting in his carseat in the locked car while she made a quick run for it. 

This is where my friend's rationale breaks from the common understanding of the law.  Before I go further with the story, see if you know the answer to these questions:

*  Is it legal in the state of Tennessee to leave your child in a parked car in cool weather?  What about hot weather?  (If from another state, answer accordingly.)
*  Is a child safer in a moving car with a parent or alone in a parked car?

In minutes, the police were on the scene, along with a firetruck.  My friend was berated for being a horrible parent, and because there isn't actually a law on the subject in the state of Virginia, was booked for "contributing to the delinquency of a minor."  Apparently, her two year old was delinquent.  A week later, Child Protective Services showed up unannounced to give her their guidelines.  There will be a court date in May. 

My next question is, have you ever left your own children parked in front of the plate-glass window of the convenient store/gas station while you ran in to get a gallon of milk?  I sure have.  I should qualify this by saying I didn't do it until last year, though -- when I had a new baby and my oldest was 10+ years old.  Since my kids frequently watch my baby at home while I disappear into the shower, I've felt confident enough to leave them sitting in the car for a couple of minutes in full view of me (as opposed to the shower, where I can't see them at all).  And I wouldn't do this in an unfamiliar area or with an unfamiliar store.  The one I use most frequently has me standing 15 feet from the van and looking right at it while at the register. 

But now I won't. 

Not because I don't think they are safe when I'm watching them through plate glass from a few feet away, but because I'm afraid someone would call the police, and the police would brand me "unfit."  I get concerned about "group think" in any form, because by nature it does not consider individual circumstances.  We have all been drilled with the "rule" of not leaving our kids in the car -- even for a moment -- by the likes of Oprah and countless others.  But as my friend says "possibility doesn't equal probability and probability is what establishes risk."  In this case, someone was programmed to think that it was unequivocally against the law and called to report something that wasn't against the law -- and the police, in turn, behaved as though it was against the law even though they couldn't find any law that actually applied!

Am I promoting leaving your children in the car unattended?  No, I am not.  Am I saying my friend was right in choosing to leave her little sicky in the car or even that I would have made the same choice?  No, I'm just saying that maybe, just maybe, she was within her parental rights to make that choice, though. 

What if "group think" eventually declares homeschooling to be an irresponsible decision on the part of the parents?

Now to answer the questions above: 

*  There is no law against leaving your child in a car in Tennessee, and in fact, even in most of the states that do have a law against it specify that it is only illegal if it puts them in some immediate risk (hot weather or key in the ignition) and if aren't accompanied by an older child in that circumstance (not otherwise).  But, my story is a cautionary tale:  there is no law against it in Virginia, but that didn't stop the police from making up something to fit the occasion.  Here are the states that have legislation about leaving children in cars:  California , Connecticut , Florida , Illinois , Louisiana , Maryland , Nebraska , Nevada, Pennsylvania , Texas, and Washington.  (Data as of 2005, from Kids in Cars.) 

*  According to the National Center for Health Statistics, car crashes are the leading cause of death in children from 2 to 14 years old.  Statistically, your children may be much safer in a parked car in the lot of Trader Joes than on the road between your home and the store. 

Having said all this, let me just say that I do not wish to minimize the scale of the tragedy suffered by so many parents whose children have passed away in hot cars, either having been forgotten or left intentionally.  And there is no doubt that my objectivity on the matter is completely lacking.  The lady in question is a really solid citizen and an excellent stay-at-home mommy.  Her husband is in a somewhat high-profile government job and the outcome of this case -- if negative -- will likely jaundice a promising career. 

I'm only suggesting that there should be some consideration of the variables in such decisions instead of an across-the-board lynching.  What do you think?

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Posted by eclecticityTia

I think any time there is "group think" that is irrational we CAN'T stop doing it out of fear we'll be labeled "unfit". I think we need to keep talking and keep living in the way we believe is right. Bring it up like this, try to keep a dialog going.

I was under the impression that it IS illegal to leave children under 12 in a car but the same kids could stay home for an indefinite amount of time at home. Which is stupid, because it means I can let my 6 year old stay home all day alone but I can't run into the store.

I've left my kids in the car when I ran in for things, usually when the baby is asleep and he needs an older one to stay with him. I've left all four of them in the car as well, windows down, making probably tons of noise at passerby. I'm always nervous someone will complain but so far no one has.

I understood this law in Florida, where I never would have left my kids in the car; it gets way too hot way too fast and I'd never leave them in a running car.

Keep talking. Keep making wise, rational choices. "Group think" keeping people silent is how Hitler came to power.

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Posted by partyoffive

I never entertained the thought of leaving my kids in the car until, a) I had three kids to get out and in, and b) Elisa was a bit older. The only time I have left them in the car alone, and still do so, is when I bring Bekah in to preschool. I don't know if I feel they are safe b/c they are in a church parking lot and I know many of the parents around, but there are times when it is just B and I running into her class.

I will say that my sister, who is a wonderful home school mom, once left her car running in front of her library so she could run the 50 feet to drop the kids books in the drop off slot. In the mere seconds she ran to do this, someone stole her car with her three children inside. She knew the minute she heard the tires squeal, what had happened. The man who stole the car had just been released from jail and had another warrrant out for his arrest, so he was trying to flee. This, by the way happened in WA. After he saw there were kids in the car, he ditched the car not far from the library. They decided not to prosecute my sister, feeling in DA had "other eggs to fry"

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