and just plain tired....that just about describes my state of mind right now.

My grandmother died Wednesday night.  This is the woman who I've thought of as my grandmother since I was a child.  Unfortunately, she's also the mother of my stepfather, who decided that I didn't need to know that she had died.  He's called me every other time she's been admitted to the hospital and asked for prayers.  I've duly prayed for her and for him and called to check up on the situation.  All of a sudden I am persona non grata to that family.  I give up.  I just give up.  I think the man was honestly afraid that I'd show up to his mother's funeral.  I called their church to find out if there were any organizations they wanted donations for in lieu of flowers and the church secretary (whom I know well) asked me if I wasn't coming to the funeral.  I said, "Bobbie, I just found out about it this afternoon.  He just didn't let me know about it."  The funeral is in Texas, I'm in Ohio.  No, I don't think I'm coming.  But at least the people at his church will know that it's his fault I'm not there, not mine.

I was very tempted to go, just to see what he'd do.  I think he'll be (unhappy, stunned, shocked) enough that flowers are there tonight from my brother and me.  Of course, he'll probably throw away the card so that no one else can see that we sent flowers.  Why?  Because he is not a decent person.  We are decent people.  We sent flowers with our condolences, sincere condolences.  But he will find a way to twist it around so that we look bad and there's not a thing we can do about it.

Sigh.

Anyway, I've had to do a lot of talking to myself and reminding myself that he will catch up with him and that I have a great life.  Why is it that I have to continually backtrack and be constantly reminded of this wretched upbringing and its effects on me when he gets to get off scot-free?  GRRRRR!

Posted by TC

I understand. Someone hurt my family deeply earlier in the year, and I just have to trust that God will be just... It's just my sinful nature that wants to exact that justice myself!!

It's nice that you sent the flowers anyway, even if the gesture will be twisted around. God knows your heart. :)