Published on August 16, 2006 at 11:02 AM
Don't Mess

This Article was published in Fun, Random and Miscellaneous Things

 

I thought these were very cute! Here's to you icart

 

Reasons not to mess with children.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".


A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing.

She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."


A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."


One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

 

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."


The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching"

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.


 

 

Thanks for stopping by "Daily" at the "Planet"

 

                 

                            

    

           

Daughter of Jacque Dixon

Sister of  & 

and I have no idea how to get these boxes off here, I tried to no avail. 


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August 16, 2006 at 11:45 AM...I think my Favorite is the ...

Commented by Canadagirl


Apples and Chocolate Chip cookies. (0; ! Thank for the laughter theraphy, where do I send the check ? LOL. God Bless my SSiC. Hope you'll chat sometime. God Bless again.
In Him,


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August 16, 2006 at 3:21 PM...Hello

Commented by OrangeKnight


It was very funny about the apples and chocolate chip cookies. I hope your sister puts a OrangeKnight Avatar with Frodo on my blog. My Mom has to do the dishes now...so bfn,
-OrangeKnight


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August 16, 2006 at 5:53 PM...Untitled Comment

Commented by giftedgirl


I loved these!!!

~*~Rebecca @>-->----


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August 16, 2006 at 9:17 PM...Ohhhh

Commented by Amber


I was gonna blog this too-uh, you beat me to it.

God Bless,
Amber


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August 16, 2006 at 9:25 PM...PS~

Commented by Amber


no joking around....it's still pink in some areas.


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August 17, 2006 at 8:39 AM...Thanks!

Commented by heartofvirtue


Wow, what a great comment you left me, m'dear! Thank you for all of your encouragement. :) I think the morning sickness is pretty much gone now - I just have to eat every hour
to keep from getting kind of sick to my stomach! Thanks for your prayers. :) And yes, that broccoli/doughnut thing WAS weird. *LOL* I hope you're doing well!! I love your blog...it's always so exciting. :) Has school started for you yet? What grade are you in? My college semester starts the 28th and I'm looking forward it. :) Take care of yourself, girl! I'll be back soon. :)

Myklin


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August 17, 2006 at 9:04 AM...Yes, I thought those were very funny...

Commented by Jocelyndixon


Hilarious! I thought the one about Jonah was pretty funny!

Have a Blessed day! Noro go hûl, bado go Eru! No in elenath hîlar nan hâd gîn.


Namárië


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August 19, 2006 at 11:13 PM...Hey!

Commented by arwengirl


Hey, I just wanted to tell you that these are HILARIOUS!
I like the first one and the last one! Though, all of them are funny!
Thanks for posting this, I needed a laugh!

g2g! bye!

_arwengirl


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What I Believe

I am a Biblical Believer and don’t conform to the denominations of today’s world. I am a non-fiction Believer. That means that God has already written my life story and I don’t want to change it by doing what I want, but follow it perfectly by His Word and Guidance. I will follow that plan alone. I will not make my own plans, but follow where He leads me.
I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and love Him as my Savior. I want to live wholly for Him and give my everything to Him.
I believe in Jesus Christ. That He is the Only Son of God. That He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one can come to the Father unless through Jesus Christ.
I believe Jesus Christ was beaten, crucified, and rose again in three days. I believe that He died for my sins, and washed them away. I believe that He is coming back for his people some day soon.
I believe that a marriage consists of a MAN and a WOMAN. I believe that the husband should be the head of the household and that all decisions lie ultimately with him. I believe that a woman should be a keeper of her home. I believe she does not need to get a job outside of her home and out of the authority of her husband.
I believe in a full quiver, and that God will give me the desires of my heart. I believe that the woman should stay home and raise her children in the LORD.
I am praying and waiting for God to bring the man of my dreams. I can’t wait to get married and have my own family. I am excited that I can be a stay at home mom and keep my home. I want to be a Homemaker and make my home to be a haven for my family to learn to be Biblical and Godly.
I hope to be an encouragement and teach Biblical things to all who stop by my blog and be encouraged and learn from others.



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2008 Happenings on the Dixon Farm


*January 6th Moved SuperAngelsblog.com to our server.

*January 10-11th Suarez's Visit

*January 11th Deleted SuperAngelsblog.com

*January 29th Great Grandma Dixon Died

*February 1st Growing In Grace Published!

*February 5th Brielle's 18th Birthday

*February 4th-6th Fearlessly Feminine Challenge 1

*February 7th-9th Fearlessly Feminine Challenge 2

*February 11th Carnival of Principled Governement: Presidential Birthdays Edition

*February 14thLevi's 14th Birthday

*February 25th The Homesteading Carnival #38: My Girls Edition

*February 26th Carnival of Homeschooling: Political Parties of Our Government Edition

*February 26th Girls are Sold

*February 27th-March 6th Sick with the Flu

*March 1st Growing In Grace Magazine 2nd Publication

*March 10th Auntie's Birthday

*March 12th Lunch with the Suarez's

*March 18th 2 year Blogoversary

*March 21st-23rd Paulie's 18th Birthday

*April 1st Growing In Grace Magazine 3rd Publication

*April 7th LucyLillie is ONE!

*April 7th met vintagegirland BreezyTulip

*April 14th-21st Sick again!

*April 27th-28th Met Sprittibee and Family!

*May 1st Growing In Grace Magazine 4th Publication

*May 7th Ordered my Dell Vostro 1500 laptop

*May 8th Grandma and Aunt Jes surprise us with a visit!

*May 9th Jocelyn's 17th birthday

*May 10 Jocelyn's Big Bash

*May 10th Saw EXPELLED:No Intelligence Allowed!

*May 11th Mother's Day

*May 12th Got my Vostro laptop

*May 16th Saw Caspian

*May 19th Met Joy and family

Goals In 2008

Get into God’s Word everyday

Talk with God daily

Be a better example

Work on my shortcomings

Finish high school

Get a laptop

Get the wireless network set up

Sell the Horses

Lose weight and get in better shape

I want to see my Great Grandpa and Grandma saved

I really want our house finished

Learn CSS

Learn Photoshop CS3

Scrapbooks caught up

Learn to play guitar

Become a better seamstress




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My 12th Grade School Plans

Mystery of History II: The Early Church – The Middle Ages
American History and Government
Accounting
Saxon Algebra 2
Computer Technology
Heart of Wisdom Teaching Approach Bible Class
Writing an ebook
Writing Essays
Reading Homeschool Resource books
Making up unit studys
Science and Biology
Foreign Language: Spanish
Life Skills 101
Business Skills 101
Literature: Foreign and American

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**Kingdom Series by Chuck Black

**Persuasion by Jane Austen

**The Inheritance by Christoph von Schmid

**Ishmael by E.D.E.N. Southworth

**Self-Raised by E.D.E.N. Southworth

**Helen's Temper by Mrs. George Gladstone



**Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne

**Rosa of Linden Castle by Christoph von Schmid



**Mansfield Park by Jane Austen

**Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen

**Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen

**Emma by Jane Austen

**The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis

**Nicholas Nickleby by Charles Dickens

**The Infinite Day by Chris Walley

**A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

**Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

**More Than A Prophet by Lloyd C. Douglas

**Bleak House by Charles Dickens

**The Ultimate Gift

**The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck

**Sentinel: City of Destiny by Landel Bilbrey

**The Simarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien

**Across The Wide River by Stephanie Reed

**My *NEW* Reese Chronological Bible

**Stepping Heavenward by Elizabeth Prentiss

**The Homeschooler's Book of Lists by Sonya Haskins


On My Magazine Rack

The Old Schoolhouse Magazine
Above Rubies
No Greater Joy
Answers In Genesis
Horse Illustrated
National Geographic

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