Under His Construction
• Apr. 17, 2008 - Who's Leading Who?
"Oh, Father, you can't think what grand fun hunting on an ostrich is. We flew along like the wind. Sometimes I could scarcely breathe, we were going at such a rate, and was obliged to shut my eyes because of the terrible rush of air. Really, father, you must make me a mask with glass eyes to ride with, or I shall be blinded one of these fine days."
"Indeed!" replied I. "I must do no such thing."
"Why not?" asked he, with a look of amazement upon his face.
"For two reasons; firstly, because I do not consider that I must do anything that you demand; and secondly, because I think you are very capable of doing it yourself."
-Swiss Family Robinson
How many parents would take issue with this command from their children today like the father of this wonderful, classic story did? We have become a very child-centered society in which the children in the households do more of the leading than the parents do.
My last few posts have been about some wonderful teachings God brought my way a few weeks ago through the insightful teachings of Reb and Beverly Bradley. This is the third problem area that the Bradleys shared on that really struck a chord with me. Before the conference I would have not thought this a problem in our home. Oh how sadly mistaken I was! How about you? Do you see this as a problem in your home? The following list may help you identify some blind spots.
Signs of a child-centered home:
-Parents conclude most commands with "Okay?"
-Parents are exasperated from nagging and trying to persuade children to comply with directions
-Parents are exasperated from their children's constant nagging to get their way
-Children are allowed to freely express their opinions, complaints, and criticisms regarding family decisions without being asked(We want to go to McDonalds!)
-Parents strive to keep their children from being bored
-Parents avoid situations where their children will have to sit still
-Menus are planned around the children's likes and dislikes
-The children's happiness and pleasure is the main factor in family decisions
After having these laid out for me I began noticing just how much this was going on in our house. My children felt that they had a say in everything that went on and they were right. They had been allowed to freely express their wants and desires whenever they felt the need to make their wishes known. I was avoiding making certain meals because my kids don't like one or more of the ingredients. They were allowed to continually nag me about doing something they wanted to do when told to wait. And so this is another area that I have taken action - here is what we are doing:
-My children no longer have a say in decisions unless asked
-They are not allowed to express displeasure (or approval) over decisions made
-They eat whatever is for dinner without complaints (everything that is offered is to be dished up and eaten)
-They are no longer allowed to use the words "I want" but instead need to politely ask "May I?"
My ultimate goal is for my children to learn that it is not all about them. They need to learn to let go of their own wants and desires and be led by what God wants and desires of them. Humility needs to be built in order to do this. Putting them at the center of our family decisions will only build pride in their little hearts. God is the only one that belongs in the center of our family decisions. |
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• Apr. 19, 2008 - eye opening