As homeschool moms, we often get so busy caring for the spiritual and academic needs of our children that we may neglect to pursue our own spiritual growth. God showed me that my growth in Christ, growing to look more like Christ, is not accidental or coincidental to my role as a homeschooling mother. Instead, it is absolutely central. God has shown me time and again that not only am I to homeschool for my children but I am homeschooling so that I too may learn to become more like him. How surprised I was to learn that His purposes for us to homeschool not only involved the education and training of my children! Rather, I was to undergo training as well. My training was to be my “seminary” experience.  Instead of lecture halls and late night study groups, my seminary training was to involve middle-of-the night feedings and phonics lessons in my dining room.  Although I was to have many classroom professors and mentors for my education, the headmaster was to be none other than Jesus Christ himself.

Once I became at least partially submitted to God’s will for my life (this has been a step-by-step process for me!), I had a long journey ahead of me. How was I to go from a relatively self-centered professional woman to a humble servant of my Lord, quietly serving him while changing diapers, teaching number recognition and running a household? Prayer was the answer, lots of prayer. The journaling habit that I began in second grade was revved up and put into full force as I began to regularly pour out my heart to God in the wee hours of the night or in the very early morning. Reams and reams of prose and poetry poured out from my heart as I faced very difficult decisions, much opposition and a faltering faith. From lavish praise and worship to the darkest despair, God gave me prayer words for every phase that I have gone through in my journey of transformation. “Why was I created, Lord and how can I best serve you?” were recurrent themes of my plaintive prayers.  With further clarification, the prayers evolved into “how can I become the wife and mother you intended for me and how can I use my experiences and spiritual gifts for the benefit of other homeschool moms?”

“Keep writing the prayers I give you. Keep writing and sharing prayers”. These are the unchanging answers I continue to receive whenever I dare to question God’s directives. I therefore shall continue to pray and commit my prayers to paper with the hopes of one day sharing them so that they may bless others.