Jul. 30, 2007
Bring Back Boredom: It's Good for Kids By Cynthia Reynolds
This summer, put your kids in charge of their down-time.Ah, summer. Where have those carefree days full of aimless daydreams and backyard exploration gone? Be it soccer camp, trips to Abercrombie and Fitch, or make-your-own-robot classes, sitting around and doing nothing is not an option for our kids anymore. With boredom all but banished from modern children's lives and more enriching opportunities than their forebears ever had, our progeny are shoo-ins for greatness, right?"Kids need control over their own play," says Jane Hewes, chair of the early childhood development program at Grant MacEwan College in Edmonton. "We have to give them room." And part of that is room to be bored - more and more child experts say boredom is a key mental state that eventually launches innovative and flexible thinking, creativity and an intrinsic motivation to explore. But well-intentioned parents rushing to fill that void are mucking up this time-honoured process, and in the place of dynamic, self-reliant youth are creating a strange new generation of young adults who are lost without outside direction, feel entitled to be entertained by others, are unable to tolerate basic silence and crave a constant stream of stimulation. If that doesn't scare you, consider this: these are the kids who won't just hang around their parents' house until they're 35, these are kids who will never ever leave. While it's not an easy fix, there are simple things parents can do to invite boredom back, as well as help their kids learn to deal with it when it strikes. Summer is a perfect time to start. 1) Limit media time Yes, media has a wonderful Ritalin-like power to calm rowdy kids, chill out angry teens and even babies are susceptible to the magical glow. But an over-reliance on TV and computer games to keep kids entertained sets them up for a life of requiring visual and audio stimulation to function, and disables them from being comfortably alone with their thoughts. New studies have even linked excessive exposure to TV too early in life to the rise in autism. 2) Limit parent- and adult-directed activities March Break is undoubtedly a great time for family outings. But when parents turn themselves into soldiers of event planning, they risk breeding an army of drones. If Ben Franklin's parents packed his day with circus school, mandolin lessons and hockey camp, he might never have been bored enough to tie a key to the end of a kite that fateful day or may never have done it at all without an adult telling him to do so. 3) When going to the playground, keep to the sidelines Sure we like to cheer their most insignificant feats on the jungle gyms, step in to prevent scrapes and bruises, and teach them how to resolve squabbles with other children by solving the problem for them. But there was a vintage era when playground time wasn't a heinous thing for parents, it was time to sit down and read the paper, while the kids were free to explore their own space, learning co-operation, risk management, and make-believe all on their own. They might seem lost at first without mom or dad by their side, but the primitive yearning to be getaway from you will eventually kick in. 4) Don't let weather be an excuse North American kids tend to think their skin will melt if grazed by a raindrop - let's face it, they're wusses. So, instead of providing a Martha Stewart roster of arts and crafts on rainy days, try shoving them out the door where the mysterious world that rain brings to life awaits - remember splashing in puddles, gathering worms, collecting rain on your tongue? Precipitation is a child's friend. 5) Resist the urge to spoil lying on the couch When you see your child lying on her bed staring at the ceiling don't think of it so much as a lost opportunity to do something productive, but as a child's right to daydream. Where would civilization be if a young Galileo, Emily Carr or Ernest Hemingway were never allowed to quietly contemplate? 6) Have creative materials available that they can use on their own or with friends Kids magazines are full of junior projects, beginner cookbooks can teach your tween how to fry up a grilled cheese, and a box of arts and crafts or dress-up clothes can reactivate their self-motivation retarded by years of inactivity. 7) Resist the urge to get mad if kids get dirty Before there was Grand Theft Auto, there was dirt. If you want to give them the freedom to solve their own boredom, then you have to do your part too and stay mum about all those mud, grass, and blood stains. Advice: think leisure wear by Zellers, not L.A.M.B. 8) Choose open-ended toys Remember Sid in Toy Story who created horrific monsters by repurposing his toys? Some child experts say he would more likely become the next Bill Gates, while poor do-it-the-way-the-company-intended Woody, the next Dilbert. Toys are a budding research area for child experts, and they all say avoid flashy and electronic toys that can be used only in its one intended way - hence a toy that a monkey can master. Instead choose open-ended loose part toys like plain building blocks that don't just promote creativity but develop math and scientific reasoning skills as well. 9) On road trips, leave the seat-back DVD player at home Let your kids do it old school: talking, singing, fighting, complaining, eye spy, car bingo, and let's not forget, the traditional staring out into space and guessing which raindrop makes it to the bottom of the window first. 10) Limit junk food When kids get bored, they like to eat snacks. But too much sugar and caffeine drives up the squirm-factor and, in turn, their need to be entertained and your craving to set them in front of the TV to quiet things down. It's a start. But keep in mind: while it may be a hard adjustment for your kids, it could be a harder one for you. This takes more of parents time, not less, says Hewes. It takes psychological energy - setting them in front of the TV is like convenience food. It's a lot easier. Tip for parents: stock up on earplugs |
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