I wanted to blog about all of the things swirling around in my head.  I need a "notepad" to jot all of the junk down on...so my blog seemed like the perfect place.  Since, it is MY blog after all.  But, I wanted to give everyone advance warning so that they can choose to stop reading at any point.   Ok, you were forwarned!

Where to begin.....

Callie -

Callie is my ideal baby.   She is very laid-back, and rarely cries.  Many times I feed her just because I know she needs to eat, not because she has let me know that she's hungry!  (Insert a jaw-drop emoticon here!)  I have never had such an easy baby!!  It is just wonderful, BUT it makes me feel so guilty.  I feel such guilt for not being a better mom to her.  I worry that she won't develope properly since she is spending so much time in a swing or car seat.  She gets pushed to the back burner so much these days....not a literal burner, of course!  She has had these strange episodes of whimpering in her sleep, and eventually leading into a full blown scream.  When I try to console her, it does not seem like she even recognizes my voice.  I have to get her to wake up before she will smile at me.  It is really disturbing to witness.

Lily -

Lily has ecsema, a cold, and string for hair!  Really.  That childs hair gets so mangled, it takes me almost an hour sometimes to get it all picked out!!!   So, I have this debate going on in my head over whether or not to cut it.  It is so beautiful, but the torture of having it brushed out is horrible.

Abby -

Abbs is my clingy child.  She loves to be with me, and share my personal space as much as possible.  I am concerned about having shoes for her, and sometimes feel like she needs more of me than what I am able to give.  She does not have any physical problems, thank the Lord!

Luke -

Benjamin Luke had a tooth pulled the other day.  Yes, in the midst of therapy and Rachael having a migraine headache, I had to drive 45 minutes to take him to the dentist because of an absess.  He has had many dental issues that I just didn't feel like were being treated aggressively enough by our current dentist; so, I decided to switch him to a pediatric dentist.  It is hard to make the drive (especially twice in a week),  but I think this dentist will be a better fit for him.  Plus, he loves to go there because of the toys and cool games to play.  Poor little fellow has had so much discomfort and pain from his teeth.  Like I have said before, they are just going to rott out!

Hannah  -

Well, my Hannah is scheduled to have a cortisone injection in her hip.  I am so worried about her.  She has already been through so much pain, I just want her to be able to wake up in the moring pain free.  I also am considering trying another children's hospital to see if they can help her any.  I don't want to leave any stone unturned when it comes to getting her the help that she needs. 

Rachael -

My soon to be a teenager, is having so many symptoms right now; I don't know where to begin.  Her sleep pattern is off, the headaches are debilating, dizziness,  and she is just wiped out all of the time.  She is like a totally different person than she was a few months ago.  Of course, my mind runs the spectrum of all of the possibilites, and then I worry even more.  And so, as soon as I can get to it, I need to have her ENT look at her and see where we need to begin.  We are trying an anti-inflammatory diet, and so I am having to buy new foods for her to try.  I am also trying to just buy healthier foods for all of us because I know it is the best for my family.

Joe Ray -

He is working long hours, and we do not see him very much. 

Me -

I need to :

catch up on laundry

catch up on housework

do spring/winter clothes swap

clean out suburban

deap clean house

clean and organize the garage

clean up yard

get the toilet in hall bath fixed

get the living room fan light kit fixed

get back to walking every day

have the suburban fixed

check on bills to be paid

balance bank statement

find bank statement

make a trip to the grocery store

do my nails

try to plan a trip to the hands on museum so that our membership isn't a waste of $$$

straighten my desk

clean the church - and pay Ricky for mowing the church yard

Buy more acidophillus

reschedule my song recording

remember to check calender for dr's appts

remember to check calender for birthdays

Ask JR if he wants to replace our mattress now or just wait

write long overdue thank you notes

send pictures of kids to our friends/ family

need to get Callie's pictures taken and write in her baby book

think about upcoming birthdays

call my mortgage company about them paying someone else's tax bill with my escrow

The list could go on and on, but for time sake, I will just end it here.  These are just some of the things that are just constantly swirling about in this mom's head.  Is it any wonder I call my children by the wrong names?

Ok, now about the singing thing.  I truly do not know what song I am going to sing.  I can't even begin to select one, since I don't know what music they have, and I don't really know how much time I will have.  I also am just not at a point right now where I feel like singing.  I go to bed late, and wake with Lily early every morning, so I am exhausted.   These constant trips to the ER and doctor's appointments are just wearing me out!  My house is so neglected, and I don't feel in a singing frame of mind right now.  However, I will do it, eventually.

It does feel better to clear some of this stuff out of the forefront of my mind.  IF you read through it all....bless your heart!  I know my whining doesn't make interesting reading!  If you happen to think of us, pray, please!  We truly need them right  now.  Thank you.