I am tired. I find myself drawn to the bed during all times of the day this week. I think a large part of it is just a general battle of depression. I have been going back and forth between meloncholy and just angry. My anger has been aimed at my Hubby, and I finally realized today, after a heated discussion, that I am not really angry with him, I am just upset with his new work schedule, because I MISS him terribly. He does not get off of work now until the whole family is asleep, he comes in and goes to sleep and gets up and has a couple of hours to squeeze in some time with us, get ready for work, do any small jobs that need to be outside and then he's off. It's just so different than when we were able to relax in the evenings together, talk, watch a movie…
Hubby on the other hand, loves his new job. Sigh…I really am thankful that he loves it so much! I really am. I am thankful that we have weekends together, that wasn't always so in the past. It really is a great opportunity for him. I am very hopeful that as time passes that it will become more of a natural thing, the new norm.
In the meantime, I pray that I will learn, like Paul, to be content in ALL circumstances.
Now you know why posting has been sparse. 
I have had my head under the covers, at least whenever the kids will let me, and I don't have a laptop, otherwise I could post from under the covers.
I think I was woke up today by the fact that, Christine and I watched Gone With the Wind today and Hubby was listening and tsk'ing Scarlett, and then later while we were having our “discussion” he told me I sounded just like Scarlett. Ouch! I, of course, got very idignant, just as Scarlett would, but then crumbled into a puddle of tears and begged forgiveness. Hubby is a good man, he forgave me and my forked tongue. But…I won't think about that today, I'll think about that tomorrow, for tomorrow is another day. Just kidding!
Love one another!~Adrienne
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I’m so glad you and Mr. Journeying by Grace Alone had a nice date night. I, too, struggle with depression and have for some time. Depression bites. I’ve never really addressed it on my blog; mainly because I have felt like I need to appear happy and cheerful ALL the time. I’m thankful you posted about this. Maybe I need to start keepin’ it real (and not just when challenged by Randi!) on my blog.
I’m glad you are doing better. I will keep you in my prayers
Wendy
http://www.wellmanneredfrivolity.blogspirit.com -
Linda, Shelly, Liesl, Samantha, Beth, Island Sparrow, and Tiffany…you all are wonderful, wonderful ladies. Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences with me too, it is good to know that I am not alone in this feeling. It is so good to hear your Godly advice for the situation, I will treasure the time that I do have with Hubby, it is a blessing that I don’t have to deal with the separtion of distance, as Linda pointed out. How horrible that would be!
Good news though…Hubby and I went out for a special date on Saturday evening and we had a WONDERFUL time!!! We went to the Movie Tavern, reccomended by Tiffany, and it was really nice and just a very relaxing enviroment. We ate a yummy dinner while we watched The Lakehouse, very sweet and romantic movie, and pleasantly rated PG. I reccomend it! Then we sat at a coffee house and sipped and talked…ahhhh, so nice.
Thanks for your concern and advice and prayers and hugs!!
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I have had many of these days lately myself. I am praying for you.
Lets do a Mom’s Night Out VERY soon!!!!
Tiff
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I’m sorry it’s such a difficult time right now Adrienne – I’m praying that the Lord will give you deep comfort and enable you to find joy in the place where you are right now. And may He carve out those special family times – husband/wife times – that you desire and need. God bless you, your husband and children.
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I always forget to sign my name! Twas me, Beth. LOL
http://brewcrew.homeschooljournal.net/ -
I too have been under the covers (well, emotionally/mentally anyways) alot lately… battling depression too.
you wrote: “he forgave me and my forked tongue”
Had a few episodes of the same here, and I’ve also realized that I’m stressing and taking it out on him, and vice versa. the tongue: truly it is set on fire by hell itself, who can tame it?
I’m praying that you and hubby find the time you need, and understanding for one another.
love & blessings~ -
Hugs and xoxoxoxoxox
Samantha
http://homerealm.lifewithchrist.org/ -
Hi Adrienne – I wanted to visit your site because you said something so nice in MommyLife.net – and I come to find you down. I’m so sorry.
My husband and I run a business together – which means that we work 7 days a week sometimes and many hours a day on top of dealing with housework and family and my little two-year old. I get cranky too when it feels like all work and no time to play as a family. I think it is very wise of you to realize that you are frustrated because you love him and miss him. That’s where I started waking up to a whole new way of looking at things. I know we are building something together that will someday provide for us quite nicely – it’s just a lot of grunt work in the beginning – and a lot of time spent missing this wonderful man who I want to spend all my time with and barely ever get to see.
Honestly – marriage is so different than I dreamed it would be. As a single girl I had so much time to daydream about how great it would be to be married and not be lonely anymore. And here I am married and lonely for him a lot.
Then I remember the old M.A.S.H. episode where BJ is missing his wife and daughter and he’s being sortof impossible to live with because of it – and the gang all gets together to have his wife film herself going through a daily routine with the baby girl. They show him the film in the mess tent. He stands there with tears streaming down his face watching his wife and little girl blow him bubbles from the bathtub halfway around the world. I think it was Hotlips that came up to him later and said, “At least you have someone to be lonely for.”
And I close my eyes and will myself to be grateful that I have someone to be lonely for – I’m not just lonely with no hope. I know I’ll get to see him later today and if my attitude is right, we can make a few minutes together feel like a vacation. If I allow my bitterness to take over, two minutes in the same room can make us want to flee to separate worlds again.
Take care!!
Liesl
http://wisteria-breeze.livejournal.com/ -
Adrienne – I know your pain. Dh works the same shift, except he gets a lot of 12s and when that happens – we see him maybe an hour and that is it. It just takes some time to adjust to the schedule changes. You have to seek the special time when you can. Since you have a flexible schedule, that’s easy to do (vs. if you were working and the kids were in school). I look at my time after Bump goes to bed until when I go to be is my time to do things and spend time with the Lord. Our family does what it can in the mornings. I know it’s only for a season – although it may be a long season, but the Lord will provide!
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Oh!!! I’m sorry you’re feeling yucky! Sometimes I just wish we didn’t need money and my hubby could stay home. Having him on weekends is REALLY nice, though. When I feel bummed out about this issue, I think about the people I’ve met through the years who have come to the US for school, leaving their spouses half a world away for a year at a time. I can’t imagine how people live like that.
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Adrienne
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