Amazed!!!

May. 23, 2008

Weekend plans, being a sports mom

Well tomorrow we are going to travel to my parents' house.  They live about 160 miles from us, 2.5hrs by car.  It is the Memorial Day weekend.  It is also the weekend before K's 9th birthday and 2 weeks after L's 5th birthday.  So we are excited to see family and enjoy the big shin dig that my mom has planned out. But the overall reason we're going is for K.s gymnastics meet.  It will be her first meet as a level 5 gymnast.  Just in case you don't follow gymnastics, the levels go from 1 (beginner) to Elite (what all the Olympic folks are).  Elite is after level 10.  Kids compete (go to meets) as early as level 2, but most gymnastics folks say that the competitions don't "count" until Level 5.  Whatever that means.  LOL  I guess it means that if you want your kid to go "all the way" in gymnastics, Level 5 is when you start to "get serious" about it.  Well--we aren't that ambitious.  Do I dream about K winning a gold medal?  Of course I do.  LOL  I dream about her winning Wimbledon, of L. winning a gold in swimming, of A. becoming a chess master.  I dream of saving the life of some very wealthy person who is then so grateful that s/he gives me one million dollars.  I confess that is my most recurrent dream.  LOL  It's funny that when K. was a baby, I thought about having her take dance, tennis, soccer, whatever.  I wanted my kids to take dance classes and play sports.  But I always thought about doing all of this on a recreational level.  It never occurred to me to do anything competitively--as in tournaments, competitions, more than one class per week, and lots of hours of practice.  I grew up in a family that didn't think athletics was important.  My hubby was completely the opposite!  When we met in college, he had just decided not to turn pro in tennis.  Up until then, that was what he was going to do with his life--play tennis professionally.  He also played soccer at a pretty high level.  So to him, "recreational sports", where you play just for fun, was a new concept.  At any rate, when K. was in her little preschool dance classes, we would go to the recitals and watch the big girls dance, the ones who were in the competitive dance classes.  I would say to myself, "that is not the route we'll be taking, that is too much".  But then, K. turned 6 and her dance teachers recommended her for the competitive level classes.  Wow.  I guess the reason I had always thought of my kids doing stuff recreationally was because I myself never qualified to take a competitive level class!  But for my hubby, it was perfectly natural to at least try the competitive level classes, as long as she liked it. Well, 3 years later and she still loves dance.  Somewhere in there, we tried a gym class and she excelled there and was promoted and recommended for the competitive team.  And since tennis is in her blood, she tried her hand at that and according to my hubby, she's very good.  And of course we have A. doing her dance, gym and yoga and loving all of that.  And little L. is quite athletic herself.  Already her swim instructors are telling me that she's quite a swimmer.  So...I've become a sports mom.  It has been an interesting experience.  I've learned a lot about myself and I have had to really let go of things and go back to God so often.  See...I am somewhat competitive.  My parents weren't into athletics, but they were very much into academics and that is where I was very competitive, many times in a negative way.  I became a Christian at age 19, so up until then, my competitive nature went pretty much unchecked, and I was guilty of a lot of "unsportsman-like conduct" in the academic world.  No--I never cheated on anything.  But I didn't share information, I was arrogant, maybe conceited, and I thought horrid thoughts about my fellow classmates.  I did what I could, short of cheating, to get ahead.  It was all about me winning the prize and keeping others from getting close to it. So when I watch my little girl compete, I have to really tell myself over and over that it's not about me.  This is her dream, her life, her sports.  The most important thing is that she enjoy it, that she wants to do it for herself and not for me.  When she stops enjoying it, I must be able to say to her sincerely, "you don't have to keep going".  I recently read a book about being a sports parent that I thought was excellent.  No--it is not a Christian book as in written by a Christian author.  But I think it is an excellent book on this topic nonetheless.  It's called Parenting Young Athletes the Ripken Way: Ensuring the Best Experience for Your Kids in Any Sport and it's written by Hall of Famer Cal Ripken (or his ghost writer, who knows!).  How did I stumble upon this book?  I have been a fan of Cal Ripken since his rookie year, 1982.  I was a huge Baltimore Orioles fan as a kid and grew up watching Cal play and followed him and the O's every year, even all the bad years, and if you know anything about major league baseball, you know that the O's have more bad years than good years.  LOL  So--I had to get this book just because it is written by Cal.  But it turned out to be a gem of a book!  The whole focus was how to keep kids interested and enjoying sports.  It was totally kid focused.  It talked about totally letting go as a parent and allowing your kid to enjoy his/her sports and not interfering and imposing your dreams on them.  He talks about being a good sports parent, about modeling good sportsmanship, about giving the game back to the kids.  This is one of my favorite quotes, right from the first chapter, "Remember, that little guy or gal out on the field is indeed your flesh and blood, but is not you...be very careful about putting your own lost or dashed dreams onto hers.  The bottom line is that your childhood is over.  It's done, finished, and it's in the books.  And your child's life experiences in sports are going to be her own, no matter what." (pp. 12-13) I loved the book because it helps me keep things in focus.  I have sat there at practices and I have listened to other parents.  I have seen them yell at their kids during practice, berate them after meets, and just be plain ol' stinky to their kids.  I have seen them be obnoxious and hoot and holler in the stands.  I have listened to them talk to me about how they don't care if their kid isn't having fun, they will do this and they can only quit after they get that gold medal.  I do not want to be that parent.  Not ever.  Anyway--this reminds me of yet another reason I love Christianity.  Christianity is not about competition.  It is all about cooperation.  It is about winning the race yourself....and then going back and helping others finish the race too.  It is about picking someone up who may not be able to finish the race himself and helping him along.  It is about trying to get as many people to finish the race as possible.  It is about hugging and celebrating with everyone else at the finish line.  It is about everyone who chooses getting a "gold" and everyone being a winner.  It's about the ultimate prize, that is better than anything on earth--eternity with our Maker.  So, this being K's first "serious" meet, I told her I didn't care if she got a 3 or a 10.  She's my hero.  She always has been and always will be.  God bless, A.H.

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May. 26, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

Very cool, mom. That sounds like a GREAT book..I'm finding more reasons for a trip to B&N!! Laura http://adayinthelifeofamomofsix.blogspot.com/

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