The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas. Post a comment if you have experience with more points to ponder.
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A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep.
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If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
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A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
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If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.
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You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
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The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.
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When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late
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Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
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A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though
a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
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Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
old boy.
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Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
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Super glue is forever.
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13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
can't walk on water.
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Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
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VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.
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Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
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Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
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You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
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Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do
not like ovens.
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The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
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The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy.
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It will, however, make cats dizzy.
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Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
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80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.
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Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or
without boys do it because:
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
Jan. 16, 2006 - Additional Points to Ponder About Boys
2. You will discover that a son's skin is at maximum stickiness when he gets stuck tightly between the rungs of his bunkbed ladder - no shirt and slightly sweaty. You will think of butter after he is out.
3. A 2 year old will find a way to reach a full tube of Desitin even if it is 5 feet off the ground. The manufacturer should consider a childproof cap system or install a device that prevents a full tube from being completely emptied in a 2 minute period of time.
4. Diaper contents are very interesting for some 2 year olds who insist on 'moving' during naptime. After several artful explorations upon every reachable surface, ducktape looks pretty appealing to a mom.
5. There will inevitably be a son in the path of a cat who losses her balance from the top bunk. It will only occur when you are fresh out of antibiotic ointment and bandages.
6. The occurance of a black eye on a son is directly proportional to the suspicion of nosy neighbors who think that you are nuts for homeschooling.
7. Sons will always forget to pass on the message that you are going to have an early morning guest. Said event will always occur the one day you sleep in late and didn't pick up before bed the night before.
8. Never give a son in the seat of a shopping cart a glass jar of pickles to look at. DUH! Correlary to 'Points to Ponder About Daughters': Do not let a daughter get within 5 feet of one of those fancy coffee bean dispensers at the store.
9. The savings from 9 months of washing 2 kids worth of cloth diapers will disappear overnight when you discover that the washing machine needs to be replaced due to the corrossion of all that bleach.
10. The probability of a blue enamel paint fight is directly proportional to how much white laundry is hanging in close proximity.
Edited by armoorefam on Jan. 16, 2006 at 2:47 PM