I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention, as a continuation of my last two posts, that God allows trials out of His great love for us.     We do not serve a great punisher who seeks to crucify us for everything we’ve done wrong.   Instead, we serve an all-knowing Creator who sees, better than we see, who we are and who we can be.   It is because of this knowledge of our destiny, and the desire to see us fulfill our purpose, that the Father allows us to endure suffering (Jeremiah 29:9-11).    In our moments of weakness we come into a better understanding of who He is.   I think about this each time I get after the kids about something.   Having walked down the roads they’ve yet to travel, I see places where they need refining, and habits that need tightening up.    My scolding is not because I’m a mean mom who wants perfection, but because my plan will give them a better future than leaving them to their own devices.

Well, I could have easily begun a “Part 3” here, but I was asked to speak on Heartbeat Live soon—gotta hold something back so that I’ll have something to say, you know?   (smile)    At any rate,

Happy New Year!

We’ve not had much to do, but I’m convinced that the lazier you get, the harder it becomes to gather energy for the smallest of tasks.   I’ve had a series of nights where I’m wide awake in the middle of the night, so when it becomes time to get up, I’m a zombie.    Such is how I feel today, but with a growing of work to do, I’ve forced myself to remain awake.   Plus, the NFL promises some “must-watch” television beginning in about 1 hour.   I’m trying to clear my docket of things to do so that I can watch the games in semi-peace.

2009 has so much promise for us and I’m excited about it, even though the days have been largely uneventful.   After staying up on New Year’s Eve until well after the stroke of midnight, we slept in on New Year’s day until almost lunchtime.    With no plans for family gatherings and such, we began taking down our Christmas tree and other decorations.    It was a great matching game for the youngest—packaging box to the right ornament—who is actually ready to begin school!    Plan A was to take one more week; there is something deliciously sneaky about rolling back over while hearing school kids gather to catch the bus.   Yet, I’m not one to miss a window of opportunity, so she and I will begin slowly on Monday since it doesn’t take that long, anyway.    Hopefully, starting again with her will also help me in whipping out books and planners for the second semester.   We intentionally take three weeks, moreso for me than the kids.     As much as I like to finish by April’s end, the three weeks allow me to fully recuperate from my annual semester-end burnout.

Yesterday, our son teamed with his duet partner to practice.    They are performing well together, and the first competition is just around the corner.    We've also gotten to spend some time as families of the kids.   Last night, after the kids spent a significant amount of time together practicing and playing games, we were invited out to their farm for fireworks and a bonfire.   It was a little cold for me as one who was unprepared for the night breeze, but we had a good time.   They are nice people, and I pray that we will step into the right window to minister Jesus.

Though I’ve intentionally not picked up a book yet, I have completed some great reading of my own, thanks to Carol Jago’s books (see the titles from December 12).      Works like hers make my heart bleed for the average American high school kid.   Her assertion that current educational processes almost inherently generate an elitist society is sad, but true; I see it in the teenagers in our midst each day.   As one example of many, a number of the young ladies at the dance center were speaking of several classic works.   Unfortunately, not one of them had read a book; my son, several years younger, began to talk about the difference between the original work and the movie director’s interpretation, and the young ladies looked at him as if something was hanging from his nose.   There are much longer-term implications to an inferior education, and that is what the book With Rigor for All  details.   In a private school, presumably all the children get a high quality education—or at least they should, since their parents are paying more for it.    In a public school, the honors kids get the quality; the gifted and talented kids get the quality.   What about the others?    What about the kids who attend our church, who find themselves in a stereotypical “inner city” school?   They are positioned to work, to take orders, to fulfill others’ dreams.    Jago quotes from another in writing the following:

What the child can do in cooperation today he can do alone tomorrow.   Therefore the only good kind of instruction is that which marches ahead of development and leads it; it must be aimed not so much at the ripe as at the ripening functions.   (72)

She goes on to point out that, in many modern educational systems, instruction is lagging behind development, and we cater to other agendas within the public school system.   Those other agendas include complaining teenagers and parents who feel overburdened, objective tests that reward memorization rather than understanding, and testing requirements that reward the schools with money, even if the kid hasn’t attained anything.    We don’t help our kids by watering down their education.   The one who is hurt most in this system are the children, like the young ladies above, who don’t know any better than to gloat about seeing a movie as a primary tool for learning rather than reading a classic.     Obviously, I’ve had a chance to revisit some of my own decisions, and to be clear as to what we’re doing and why.

This may sound “pie in the sky-ish,” and there is a sad reality that even the best lesson plans won’t motivate a student past his/her initiative to do and to be more.   The author concedes that even though she has a tremendous passion for books and reads voraciously, her own teenage son ‘would think nothing of stopping on page 43 if that was where the homework assignment ended—not even if he knew that the mystery was solved, the gun went off, the girl was saved on page 44.’    Yet, maybe this is what irks me the most—does the average student even get the chance to be mediocre, or is this already decided for him?      As homeschoolers, we design our children’s education to best fit our goals, their goals, how they learn best, and the realities of our particular home and school environment.    Who’s paying attention to the lion’s share of what’s out there—kids who may not be the brightest, but aren’t dumb, kids who want to learn, but don’t know that they even need to take learning into their own hands?   The Lord has blessed us that our kids will be amongst the elite—not only because of their education, but moreover, because He says so in Deuteronomy 28.    But will we pray for others?    For until Jesus comes, the future will include us all.

This was Lucy’s plight.   Peter had given up on Aslan when he didn’t appear on Peter’s schedule.   Susan’s  and Edmund’s light had dimmed, like so many of us when we quit reading the Bible as regularly, or stop going to church for a while when work presses us, etc.    They were still shown grace and experienced some level of victory.     We, even when our prayers aren’t that fervent, even when we try to operate out of our own strength, experience some level of victory.    But Lucy was different.    She believed when others had stopped.    She longed for intimacy with Aslan when others had moved on.     Again, it is no different with us.   There are people who don’t want an intimate relationship with Christ; they’d rather have different dramas (smile).     There are those whose walk with Christ will endure a short trial, but a lengthy wait to see God would crush them.   Others would stick with God for a while, but get distracted by other gods (horoscopes, psychics, compulsive shopping) in the effort to placate themselves temporarily until they feel that God shows up.   Those closest to us sometimes are our biggest stumbling blocks.    Remember, it was Job’s wife who told him to ‘curse God and die.’ They will not have our stories, but they will also not share our glories.

So, our task as mature Christians is to embrace the rain, even when it falls upon us unjustly.    We don’t need to envy anyone, or to feel as if we somehow brought a trial on ourselves.   Yes, I’ve had friends like Job’s friends, too, and thank God that we’ve all grown up in some things.   Our walk with God isn’t about justice; it’s about grace.     And His love isn’t dealt out to us based on what we deserve; it surrounds us because of unmerited favor.    We need to embrace those wonderful 5 words, ‘and it came to pass,’ and then we should pray.   What to pray for?    Wisdom about how and when to move, and what specifically to do.    Discernment about who to share our trials with (people who can pray and encourage without envy or malice), and who we need to delicately prune away.    Strength, that we not go about looking like something the cat dragged in, as we are told that the pity of others will be the only reward we see.

May God find us faithful in the sunshine and in the rain.

It's an odd title for a day-after-Christmas post, but walk with me, if you will.

We had a wonderful  Christmas Day.   I think the kids were generally surprised as they got a few of the gifts that they listed, but they also received some surprises that they weren’t looking for.   Our son was desperately trying to conserve our pennies, and so has searched the Internet diligently for Gamecube games, which are just about extinct.    We sprung and got him a Nintendo Wii.  He was so very thankful, and what more present did we need?    But he saved his allowance and bought us gifts anyway.   The girls were equally surprised and thankful.   The oldest had asked for clothes; we bought her a sewing machine and a gift card—nothing like teaching a man how to fish, huh?   This gift was special to me as I remembered that I was about her age when my mom taught me to sew.   I’ve not done anything with a machine since the kids came along, so in some sense, we’re learning together.   I sure hope sewing is like learning to ride a bike, and the technology hasn’t passed me by.

For the youngest, she actually wrote her list this year—I hate that I forgot to save it (might be a trash can hunt this afternoon if there’s not too much food there).   Anyway, she was so thrilled that she actually got a couple of items from her list.   Even more hilarious for us was sharing Santa’s travels with her on Christmas Eve via www.cnn.com.    I believe it’s actually the Air Force that does this.    The kids were up late on Wednesday night—too excited to sleep.   However, when she saw that Santa was nearing Texas, she bolted for the bed, wanting to be sure that she was asleep before Santa landed.   She dragged big brother with her, leaving the house quiet except for the superhero, the oldest, and me.

We don’t have many traditions for Christmas, although I’ve tried to make sure that we do certain things that are more in tune with my own interests.    I’m not into decorating the outside of our home; it’s my personal boycott against people who rush out to decorate for the season, but won’t get up on Sunday morning for the reason.   It’s one of my many quirks that I’ll hopefully get right before the Rapture (smile).    Anyway, though we don’t put lights on our home, I do love to see neighborhoods with “extreme” lights, and we have some that make the papers each year here.   However, the fog was so dense on last night that I was just glad the family got home safely.   I also love going to church for our Christmas Eve service.   It’s a wonderful time to praise, to worship, and to get grounded once again in why this season is what it is.   Isn’t it preposterous that stores are going out of their way to eliminate Christmas and replace it with the more tolerant and inclusive “Happy Holidays”?     Even one of the colleges where I teach emphasizes the use of this phrase vs. Merry Christmas—just another trick of The Man trying to hold us down.    I say “Merry Christmas” all day long.

Anyway, a prayerfully temporary bout with illness kept me from this past Sunday’s service as well as Christmas Eve service.   We did get in our traditional reading of the Christmas story in the book of Luke.   I also watched “The Nativity Story” with Keisha Castle-Hughes and Oscar Isaac (2006)—a marvelous retelling of a classic.     It also kept me from Christmas Day dinner with the in-laws.    So, I had an opportunity to sit quietly and take in “The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian.”  Prince Caspian wasn’t one of my favorite chronicles.   I’m still waiting on a big screen version of The Magician's Nephew.  But I thought that given how wonderfully done The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe was, this one would be a sure bet.   We saw this for the first time in a hotel a few months ago, and my original thinking was, boy, did Disney screw that up.    What most people I know loved about this movie was its Christian symbolism; what Disney seemed to capture was the extended fight scenes and special effects, which only accentuate what was already an excellent tale.  

Like I said, such was my perception when I first saw the movie, but yesterday I watched it paying much more attention to the story.   Watching the young Castle-Hughes play Mary the night before led me to focus my attention on the character of Lucy, the younger sister/queen of Narnia.   I began to think of why some people are chosen to endure certain trials of life.   When I looked at Prince Caspian, I thought about Lucy, the one of the four children who still held onto Aslan (representing the Christ), and arguably, she went through harder trials, almost losing her life at least twice.    The others were in dangerous spots, but they were far more prepared for their encounters.    In almost every case, Lucy was considered weak and helpless; even she acknowledged her helplessness, telling Aslan in one scene, “I wish I were braver.”    Mary, the mother of Jesus, was no different.   She was poor, having nothing to offer anyone from a material standpoint.   She was a woman of great virtue; it is why Joseph chose her (at least according to the movie).    These women didn’t go through trials because of their disobedience; they endured trials because of their obedience.

I once heard a sermon entitled "trusted with trouble."   Job was selected by God to endure great tribulation (‘And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil? and still he holdeth fast his integrity, although thou movedst me against him, to destroy him without cause’).  

I have much more to say, but my time has run short, and this post is getting long.   I’ll pick up from here the next time:

Can you be trusted with trouble?

I looked at the date of my last post--December 12^th.    Where on God’s earth did the time go?   That’s been the kind of week , er, week-and-a-half, that we’ve had.   Days have flown by, but I’d have a hard time articulating what we did in a way that would justify the time.   Well, I’ll give it a try:

The Christmas program at our church was a tremendous, just-in-time blessing.   Each of the groups that performed ministered in his/her own way, from the sign language ministry to the drama team to each of the choirs.   I loved the “old school” praise and worship, but I couldn’t help but marvel at the younger generation and their rendition of song great Donny Hathaway’s “This Christmas.”   Though it’s not a gospel tune, it’s still a romantic holiday classic, and isn’t it wonderful to snuggle with your honey in God’s house?   It occurs to me as I encounter more and more ways to praise the Lord that this is what Heaven will be like--everyone worshipping together, but in our own way, and all of us making His praise glorious.

We also wrapped up our last week for this semester.   I think it was the combination of the cloudy weather and having Dad home, as it felt like we were already on vacation.   Isn’t it amazing how one simple change in your environment can so impact the day?   All the kids wanted was to stop work and find out what Dad was talking about, what he was doing, and where he might go such that they could tag along.    Consequently, two subjects—science and history—took hours longer than they should.   I’m not complaining; more and more I realize that, when you homeschool, school is really the vehicle in which home—with all its love, affection and support—manifests itself, with books, maps, timelines, etc., working as stimulator to help school blossom.    I wrote those words to remind myself of this the next time I'm fretting about something that didn't happen according to my plan. 

I started teaching three new classes to my adult learners within the last two weeks, and I welcome the extra income.    This time of year gets pretty busy as many adults make that New Year’s resolution to return to school, and I am happy to be on the other side of that blessing.   It is a bit anti-climatic, though: the students are in place for 1-2 weeks, and then on break for two, so you have to gear up twice to be ready for them in December 2008 and then January 2009.

Most of all, we are in a place where we would be very nervous and anxious, except that God’s peace has been incredible.   Saints, isn’t it awesome to feel God’s word coming alive in your life?    We have stood on Philippians 4:8-10 for the last few weeks, and we have embraced unexplainable peace.   Not only have we weathered our own storm, but have been able to minister to others with conviction and clarity when helping them deal with losses.   When the Lord releases me to do so, I’ll try to put everything that’s transpired into words, but in the meantime, I thought I’d share a few words from a favorite old hymnal to encourage and to remind:

‘Tis so sweet just to trust in Jesus,

Just to take Him at His word,

Just to rest on the Savior’s promise,

Just to know, ’Thus saith the Lord.’

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust You,

How I prove you o’er and o’er,

Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus,

Oh, for grace to trust You more.

 The course description is also a place to show how unique your child's education has been. It's a place where passions can shine though. There are probably any number of ways [a] course description can be approached successfully.    I have chosen to use college course descriptions as a guide because I think that will best present my son's courses in a manner that demonstrates their rigor.

That was followed by this jewel from one mom back to the original writer:

They [college administrators] want to see what the student is interested in and how she will contribute to the college community. You have a great story to tell with your daughter.   I don't think you should try to shoehorn her into the schooled box.    Let the colleges know how she is different and wonderful.

So, where the original writer will end up, who knows?   Yet, as for me, I’m a believer that certain messages cross my path for a reason, so I left this exchange with a renewed commitment to honor our individuality and do our best to satisfy an admin’s requirements, but not allow our school to be bound by them.

My thoughts right now for next year are to stay with a Great Books education for the will-be high schooler.   I am trying to follow my own advice about buying books, not stuff (see here), and staying true to classics with literature guides as a tool for additional activities/points for discussion.   However, in the spirit of individuality, I am also taking an honest assessment of readiness, passion, and interest level.   With all of this in mind, I know that we will not pursue these works as aggressively as my original choice, thegreatbooks.com, suggests.   Some classics we’ll tackle head-on, but for some we’ll use an abridged, child-friendly version to read.  We’ll even watch a few movies.    I wrestled with this at length (and ad nauseum), but then remembered a conversation that I’d had early in our homeschooling journey with wise homeschooling council.    Someone with far more years down this path than I told me that, even at the high school level, many of the books kids study are not original versions in the interest of time and readability, and that is where I find myself.   In fact, someone shared two seemingly great resources with me, written by a California public school (I think) teacher who sought to teach classics to her students in a way that captured their attention and still exposed their minds to great thinkers throughout our history.   Carol Jago is the author, and the books are Classics in the Classroom: Designing Accessible Literature Lessons and its sequel, Rigor for All: Teaching Classics to Contemporary Students.   

It will sound ridiculous, but this one decision in relaxing a rigorous plan really freed me from some of my current plans regarding the kids, and especially the girls who’ve, for different reasons, been my focal points this school year.    As one example, plan A was to cover both Know What You Believe and Know Why You Believe in this school year.    I’ve shared previously what a tremendous blessing Know What You Believe has been in terms of our sharing revelations about Christian fundamentals each week.    This sharing has come at an equally high price; in order to finish this book in a semester (in order to read the sequel in the 2^nd semester), the reading plan has been aggressive, to say the least.   My husband and I would talk about the oldest’s general workload and the results we saw.   We both agreed that I could take some off her plate, but would that really help?   I could lower the expectations here at home, but if I opt for academic straw or sticks now, will a college professor huff and puff it into nothing later?   I chose to stay the course and pray—hard.

One day as I was running errands and listening to a radio commercial, I heard an advertisement for a “guaranteed” system for improving student grades.   As a rationale for purchasing the system, the spokesman talked about how children who receive bad grades are not lazy or bad; they are just overwhelmed.    I’d heard the commercial tons of times, but it must have been a moment when I was ready to receive.     The word hit me like a ton of bricks as I thought about what has transpired this year.   I’ve shared it over the last five months of posts in bits and pieces—sometimes big pieces.   But as the word resonated in my spirit, I took a hard look at this particular reading plan (as it was the hardest for her to read and complete the written narration in a timely manner).    I made a decision that it was okay to complete the one book and not get to the other, and I adjusted the reading plan and breathed my own sigh of relief.    I feel silly writing it, but my journey is my journey, and this was a monumental change to my way of thinking.   I only wish I had thought about this before we reached a point where we have only 50 pages left in the book!   The oldest exclaimed, “It only took me 30 minutes to read!”   I didn’t say a word to her about my decision, and I could tell that she was quite proud and pleased with herself.   To maintain her self-confidence was worth all of my psychological toil and trouble.

Sally wrote a post not too long ago about the differences in her two oldest girls, and she was right on.   Our son is so me—the overachiever, the serious student, and the one who loves an academic challenge.    He chose on his own to begin reading Shakespeare’s plays; he wanted to know what the constant themes alluded to on various television shows were about.   He loves comic book history and has recently turned his interest toward Greek mythology.    He corrects me whenever I screw up on any god/goddess and his or her associated power.    Just last week he asked me when he would return to Latin studies, which we dropped this year in the midst of trying to pick up everything else.    Doesn’t he just make you sick? (smile)    Don’t hate too much—he’s also argumentative, arrogant, and is in the process (I’m speaking it) of being delivered from sulking when things don’t go his way.    Academically, it’d be a joy to have three of him, but of course, then, I wouldn’t spend much time on my knees.

My minor changes with the youngest have really paid off.   She’s enjoying school more, and I’m actually happier and more at peace with the busy-ness of a five-year-old.    I’m very excited about the dinosaur lapbook she and I will tackle together, thanks to Live and Learn Press.    Again, I had to balance the desires of my heart to be this super-homeschool mom overflowing with creativity and craft ideas vs. my reality: someone who’s too busy and (sometimes)too frazzled to implement all those great plans I had to make our lessons leap off the page.     So, I saw this completed lapbook on a couple of blogs, and then saw that CurrClick had it marked down a few dollars, so why not?    Again, the linear thinker that I am went immediately toward where dinosaurs would fit into what we’re learning this year.   After a couple of minutes, I stopped myself, realizing that at her age, she’ll just be happy to get into some scissors, crayons, paint and glue.  

“The Tale of Despereaux” is almost in theatres now, and after seeing the commercials on television, she got very excited about the movie.    I showed her the book as a part of our home library, and she added it to our school schedule.    Every time she sees the commercial, she wants to read more of the book; I’d be foolish not to capitalize on this opportunity, so tonight, as I peeked at the Bears beat the Saints in overtime, I sat reading how Despereaux was doomed to the dungeon with the horrid rats because he wouldn’t conform to being a normal mouse.    I could preach a second sermon on that one, but I’ll save it for the next time.   God bless.