On Labor Day, I actually labored.    My superhero endured the heat to trim, cut and edge on yesterday, so I thought I’d do my part and weed.   The weather was so pleasant until I also decided to stay outside and clean out the garage.  It’s amazing how the day before an impending storm can bring about such a peaceful day.   Hmmm…that’s a good start for another entry, but I’ll try it at another time.

While out in the garden, I had a chance to reflect on a number of things.   One thing was how nice it was to have a day with few have-tos.   I was so excited about that, in fact, that I almost slept in—that is, until I realized how much “help” the five-year-old would give me if I waited.   But I did cook breakfast rather than allowing everyone to go for themselves with cereal and bagels.   That decision almost spelled doom in terms of my to-do list, but thankfully, I was able to recoup.

There’s a neat story about meal time at our home.   It goes all the way back to my mom, who was “old school” in all her ways.   She cooked one meal, and if you didn’t like it, tough.   I was never a picky eater, although I do remember using ketchup and barbecue sauce to cover up the taste of black eyed peas and lima beans.   Having grown up in that environment, how’d I get to be such a bleeding heart when it comes to food?   The oldest is just plain picky, as I’ve spoken of before, and our son is a vegetarian.   The five-year-old comes the closest to eating the same diet of my superhero and I, a diet that encompasses a wide variety of dishes.   We’ve picked up something from each of our eating adjustments, i.e., fad diets, over the years—vegetarian dishes, lowfat, whole wheat pasta, you name it.   The impact of all of this is that, on any given day, I cook at least 2 different lunches and 2 different dinners.   The only reason breakfast isn’t consistently impacted is because everyone loves those rich, starchy foods—pancakes, waffles, biscuits.   Recently my husband and I experimented with the South Beach diet.    I was trimmer and I felt better, but it was alot of work for me.   The hardest part was cooking breakfast each morning.   I had to cook eggs and turkey sausage for us.   My son likes eggs, but the girls hate them.  The youngest likes meats, so sausage works, but she hates cereals, hot or cold, which the oldest enjoys.   After weeks of eggs, I missed my fruit smoothies, and 2-1/2 to 3 breakfast dishes each morning took a big chunk of my energy and enthusiasm for the rest of the day.   Charlotte Mason, in Ourselves, talks about the danger of gluttony and of thinking ahead to the next meal while consuming one.   Yet, with several appetites to cater to, I spend a ridiculous amount of time thinking about what to cook, when to cook it, and how each person might respond to it.   I know the food pyramid the way some ladies know their favorite store in a mall.   I actually took a picture of the stove one day recently before dinner.

The chicken and fries were for the girls, and the spinach enchiladas (pictured in back) were for the guys.   Since I like corn tortillas rather than flour tortillas, I cooked hearty rice skillet, a vegetarian variation on beans and rice, for myself.   This is me each day: full-time short-order cook.

Anyway, after cleaning up the garage, I actually had a little school time with the kids—their idea.  We didn’t finish everything we needed to on Friday, and rather than try to rekindle our energy late on Friday night, we thought to wrap up when we’re more refreshed.     Then, after a brief check-in with the bigger kids, I actually had an opportunity to relax, respond to a few blogging friends, and type this entry, an entry that started on Monday, but will become public on Friday--HA HA!!     Is the start of school having this effect on anyoone else?   Dance season for us began on Tuesday, and I'm still making the adjustment to having someplace to go almost each evening.

Dinner on Monday was buffalo burgers with roasted potatoes and broccoli for hubby and I, chicken and fruit for the girls, and a sandwich for our son.    My mom is looking down from Heaven and laughing.

 I suppose that out of the abundance of the heart, the computer typeth.   In the midst of keeping it real, I should say that we really are, overall, having some fun times in school.   We took a trip to Sea World-San Antonio on last weekend, which was originally planned to allow the 5-year-old an opportunity to see the Backyardigans.    It didn’t occur to me until sitting with my son over his science book how timely the trip was.    He’s studying swimming creatures this year, and we were able to gain so much from our studies by recalling what we saw on the trip.   Wow, what a concept, huh? (smile)    In all honesty, I was a bit disappointed with Sea World.   It’s much smaller than I thought, and my husband and I were noting that there were a number of people leaving the park as we arrived at 2:30.   We figured out later that the lion’s share of the feedings and animal encounters occur in the morning or mid-afternoon, so we spent most of our time in line waiting for the afternoon and evening shows to begin.  However, nothing I’ve seen compared to Shamu’s performance.

I don’t know that I was expecting to see the killer whale eat one of the performers, but I was amazed at how trainable these animals are.  In our reading, we found out that they are called “killer” whales because of their fierce attacks on other sea animals, including other whales.   However, they are friendly to people and, as we noted, very teachable.   It was awesome.

Without doubt, I didn’t follow my own advice and was a victim of packaging this year with the 5-year-old’s curriculum.   I’ve used Making Math Meaningful with the older two for years, and I’ve enjoyed it up until this year.  I’m having to pull upon too many outside resources in order to cement the younger kids’ understanding of the Metric system, time, and multiplication (in the old school way that I’m accustomed to it being taught).  I will say, though, in the spirit of not being a curriculum basher, David Quine’s customer service is exceptional—one of the reasons I stayed with his product for so long.     However, after I used the K product with the youngest and she began to teach me, I thought it might be time to move on.   So, after some intimidation over the “advanced student” label of many reviewers, I loosened the purse strings and bought Horizons.   It’s a good-looking product with an approach to learning that the 5-year-old will probably love in that a number of concepts are introduced at once rather than novice to mastery on one concept, then novice to mastery over the next, etc.  It’s still beneath where she is minus the actual forming of the numbers in writing, but we don’t have the luxury of not using something once that kind of money is spent.   So, we sometimes complete a couple of lessons in a day until she tires out.

Bob Jones has been even less of a good fit for us.   I like the beginning readers—gorgeously illustrated and with actual meaningful and interesting stories.  Today, I had all 32 books stacked on the table, and I jokingly  told the 5-year-old that we were going to read them all.   She looked at the stack and said, “That’s going to take all day, but okay!”    Looking at the readers made me buy the whole phonics/ worktext package.   There are so many possible activities until I find myself a bit overwhelmed, which isn’t their fault, of course.   But the exercises are ridiculously simple in some cases (circle the building in which the family will enter, and there’s only one building on the page), and the subtle sexist messages are at times unbearable.  Why can’t a son enjoy a cookbook?   Why can’t a daughter get a kick out of building something with her mom or dad?   Moreover, why can’t a girl like dolls and trains?   So, here I sit with $150 in pretty curriculum for her (I normally spend about twice that much for all 3 children), and I’m disappointed.   I’ll definitely have to back up and punt as I consider our course for next year.   Both math and phonics programs tend to build upon one another, so hmmm…

I love when learning and discovery happen totally outside of you.   After school, i.e. her time at the table, is finished, the 5-year-old generally likes to rest on the couch (still a bit groggy from being an early riser).  

She told me one day about how she was learning “lots of stuff” from her view outside the window.    I’ve sat sometimes to enjoy it with her.   The hummingbird was a bit too fast for me, but I caught this guy.   Now we just have to figure out what he is.

She also showed me how she was spending her free time in the game room; she had put the pieces of our Thomas the Tank Engine set into a very elaborate course for the trains.    Maybe she’s the engineer out of the bunch.

For all our scrapes over dawdling and daydreaming, the oldest is kicking most of her subjects in the rear, especially Algebra 1 and Physical Science!   (an end which makes the means that much more frustrating).   I’ve heard so many nightmares and horror stories about middle school/high school kids and higher maths and sciences.   I had all kinds of back up plans in the works.   Today, we had a wonderful discovery time together watching a hydrogen peroxide/yeast mixture release enough oxygen to blow up a balloon.    It was good to spend time together without thinking, "How far behind are we now?" 

Friday is our day for current events, and this is definitely one of several bright spots.   I have two computers bookmarked for worldontheweb.com and studentnewsdaily.com so that each one can work at his/her own pace.   It brings me great pleasure to hear them exclaim to one another, “Did you see this?”   “Which one are you going to write about?”   “Did you read the one about…?”  It’s neat to have kids that enjoy being informed.   I’ve got a grin on my face just anticipating the week’s end.

The very hardest thing must be to stand back and watch your children stumble.   You’ve spent a lifetime keeping them above water, even when it meant that you nearly drowned.   Now I’m supposed to stand back and just watch them dig a proverbial hole for themselves?   As a part of their development into self-sustaining adults—notwithstanding their relationship with Christ—this is vital.

I mentioned before my struggles with the teenager, who had restrictions put on her privileges.   After a turnaround in her performance, the restriction was lifted.   Then last night she asked about going to mid-week Youth service.   I was 99.9% sure that her work wasn’t completed, but what parent in his/her right mind would quell a child’s enthusiasm about going to church?   Plus, she assured me that she’d have everything done, “even if I have to work on it after I come home.”   I knew she’d get home late; my husband teaches the younger boys on the same night, and I’m amazed at how some parents have no consideration of the lateness of the hour for either the children or the adult volunteers.   You’d think it was a Friday or Saturday night, the way that some stroll casually after visiting for 30 minutes or more with friends before picking up their children from class.   I myself decided to stay home, fold the many loads of laundry now on the couch, read some for the days to come, and work with my big kids (something else the Lord has given me peace about: home comes first).   At any rate, the family got in close to 10 p.m., hungry and excited to tell all about what happened during their time away.   No need to detail the bunny trail, let’s just get there fast: we’re back on restricted privileges.    I didn’t spank, though I respectfully disagree with a commenter that it breeds rebellion and resentment in our kids.   At this point, everyone in the family has tried to counsel her in their own way (I’ll share more in the upcoming Heart of the Matter Magazine), and I’m at peace that when I do act, every other means has been tested unsuccessfully.    As I said, this whole revelation of backing off has been a strange and interesting turn for me, almost like an out-of-body experience, if I may use that term.  One side of me wants to step in and lecture, make suggestions, and/or completely lose it, having heard myself repeat the same words over and over.  Yet, I am inclined to watch as she tries to step up to a new level of expectation.  I know what I would have done, even as of last week; I know what I want to do—prioritize and plan for her, and then tell her what she needs to do.   It’s almost like walking your baby take its first steps; you know he or she will fall, but if you rush in to hold them up each time, you only delay the process of them strengthening those legs and that back before the ultimate, self-assured steps come.      

Next week poses a new challenge in time management.   Dance season begins.   I’ve already gone down the path of exactly what she needs to trim down on, when are her available blocks of free time, alternatives to get certain things done, etc.   But, I will let her, perhaps with a few scrapes and stumbles, come up with her own schedule and make the necessary adjustments in her priorities and plans.   Rather than go down in this bit of history as the parent who made her do this and not do that, I will continue to be led by the same small, inner voice and just wait.  

As much as I enjoy writing, I have consistently received far more than I've given here.   Song of the Sagebrush and Dawn were kind enough to award me the Arte y Pico award for ‘posts are challenging and insightful,’ and for ‘thought provoking entries that refresh the soul’ (their comments respectively).    Wow.   You guys bless me so much!   I will pass this on—in time.   I have several deadlines I need to meet, but after that…

I’m also grateful for the words of wisdom and encouragement that come my way but don’t increase my comment count (smile).    Though I realize that people blog for a variety of reasons—from those that are closet authors, to those that want to journal their homeschooling days, to those that just get a kick out of making friends online—my goal has always been to inspire and encourage with honesty and integrity.   It’s not always pretty, but it’s always real where I live.  Though the joys and benefits of interacting as a family in this way are hard to articulate, there is at least one down side—the potential for adult isolation.  Finding the right venue and way to express our innermost hopes, doubts and fears can be difficult.   Such was the case of the mother who sent me this message after I posted the last entry:

…I could have written your post at many points over the last 2 years. I know the struggle you described. I know everything you stated - even down to the disciplinary issues. There's only one difference though... I took it personally - as something I was not doing well enough. I felt alone and inadequate after [a move to a new state]. I saw myself as a failure who needed to let someone else step in and help. Otherwise, I couldn't be all that I needed to be as a mother. My faith in the Lord and in myself weren't where they should have been.

I promised her that I wouldn’t use her name, but I was so touched by the comment until it became, at least in part, a focal point for an article I’m writing for next month’s Heart of the Matter magazine.

God is with us and ready to take on our burdens.   If we will come as we are to Him, He will step in and move mightily in our situations.   My own testimony since I’ve posted last time is coming slowly, but it’s coming.   In the meantime, please, please, please pray for families that are making decisions at this time of year.   Satan’s plot is to kill, steal, and destroy, and in a wearied and uncertain state of mind, we can fall prey to all types of lies and deception.   Let’s go before God:

Most High God, You are the author and the finisher of our faith.   You are the beginning and the end.   There is none like You and no one beside You.   Though we don’t deserve Your continual love, mercy, and care for us, we plead the blood of Jesus as we come before You once again.   We confess places that we’ve turned over to fear, we confess areas that we’ve allowed Satan to step in, stealing our God confidence and clouding the Holy Spirit’s still, small voice.   Right now, we cancel every assignment and every attack of the enemy in Jesus’ name.   We cast those demonic spirits into the pit of hell; we speak and release the truth that will set us free.   We are more than conquerors; we are blessed in our going in and our coming out.   You will do in us more than we can ask or think according to the Power that is already working in us.   Do it for us, Lord, and let our cries reach the heavens for those homeschooling parents we don’t even know, but who also need Your touch.   We want what You want for each child: for them to know You, to walk in Truth, and to share You with others.  You are honoring the work of our hands and you will add to it 30, 60, and 100 fold.   You will equip them with whatever they need spiritually, academically, and emotionally to be the head and not the tail, above and not beneath.  Let us prepare to receive what You have in store, and to feel a fresh wind over our plans and our days.   As we pray, we believe that our households are changed forever, and we bless Your name for it.    In the name of Jesus, Amen.