Apr. 28, 2008 - Mondays On Mothering -- Gentle Motivation
Gentle Motivation
What a challenge it is to motivate our children gently! I am wanting always to push and pull them to where I want them to be. This simply doesn't work! One of my favorite parts of mothering is watching my children rise to the challenge with just a bit of gentle motivation. A few well placed words of tinder, a little spark from Dad to help ignite the flame. We experienced just such a moment this weekend, when my oldest son came to us with a problem. A good problem! He has finished his AWANA book for the year; and finished the extra book at his level. Last week, with only two weeks to go; he was given the Bronze Packet challenge. This little packet is only given to clubbers who complete all of the work available at their level, or to leaders who want to complete a challenge. It contained 60 verses, and they must be completed in 15 verse segments spoken in one sitting, with only two helps for the entire 15 verses!!! So, on Saturday night my little seven year old came to me for clarification on the rules. Once he found out he had to do at least 15 verses in one sitting in order to get any credit, he was floored. "Mom, I just can't do it. I'm done. I already did my book and the extra book, I am not doing anymore. I don't even have time to do 15 verses by next week, let alone the whole packet." (and yes, he really does talk like that...) I just calmed him down gently, and said something like "You're right, you probably can't learn the whole packet by next week, but I know you could earn the first 15 verses. If you don't want to that's fine (as he interrupted me with wails of "I can't") but I know you could at least do the first 15 verses by next week." Then, a few minutes later, as I read the information on the packet, I mentioned how few people at AWANA ever get a chance to earn this extra Bronze pin and wear it -- only a few clubbers complete both books in one year and then finish the packet. And, how I hated to see him not even start working on it; when it was such a privilege to even have that pack of verses. Then, I let it drop. I didn't say another word to him. The next day, he brought it to his Dad to put back in order; and his Dad talked to him very quietly about it. I never did hear what was said, just a little bit from Dad when he said -- "I know you can do it, but if you don't want to you don't have to." By the time AWANA came around at 6 p.m., my son had his first 20 verses ready to go! And, he was super excited, pleased with himself, and ready for the challenge of completing the other 40 verses by next week. He wants to win the "water challenge" which means he gets to throw water balloons at a leader I think. Whoever says the most verses in the last 3 weeks wins the Water Challenge. I was in shock; but so glad I didn't PUSH and PULL harder when I wanted to. I never expected him to learn more then 15 of the verses, and that by next week -- not this week. You see, when we motivate gently and let our children motivate themselves from within, they set the bar much higher!!! Wow, I gotta remember that next month when start working on Cub Scout achievments...
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