Jun. 30, 2008 - Mondays On Mothering -- Care and Feeding
Time and again, I realize that I can either take joy in all of the care and feeding that goes into four children; or I can consider it a hardship. Joy smiles, laughs, and generally makes things pleasant. Hardship frowns, groans and fusses until everyone is miserable. I am often sad at the end of the day to realize that I have leaned all day towards the latter.
We mothers can take joy in cooking, cleaning, and laundry, if only we would choose to do so. Yesterday evening, I asked each of my children to estimate the amount of time it would take to pick up the main floor. Whoever had the closest estimate would get a prize. We have a small, open floor plan, so we are really just talking about putting away the mess in three rooms: living room, dining room, and sunroom. My oldest daughter looked around, and estimated 10 minutes. My middle son looked around and guessed 24 minutes. My littlest girl giggled, and said 15 minutes. I decided that only my oldest would be the only child motivated to work hard and fast; and then as soon as we passed 10 minutes she would stop working hard. So, I turned it up a notch. If you are closest to 10 minutes, you all get a prize! If you are closest to either of the other estimates, only the closest gets the prize.
Wow! You should have seen them hustle. At the end of 8 minutes, the entire floor was straight and neat with no fussing, no arguing, not fighting, pushing, complaining. This is a vastly different outcome then what I saw last week in the same situation. What made the difference? The only difference in this situation was my attitude. I was working with the same children, the same mess, and the same floor. My approach changed from one of driving job boss to one of cheerful instigator. All of us enjoyed the challenge, the satisfaction of a job well done, and the promise of reward.
After my children had picked their "prizes", we headed outside for an added bonus. Since I wasn't stuck inside cleaning up after everyone we were able to enjoy the last daylight hours with a family walk and bike ride around the neighborhood with Daddy. I'm not planning on offering chocolate at the end of every family chore; but I am hoping and praying to focus on the joys of a job well done more often. Choosing joy at the start brings it's own reward.
I confess, I don't love cooking, cleaning and doing laundry. But, with a better attitude, and an eye towards results, I am getting there. I love the lessons we are all learning on the way. What do you love about mothering?
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Hi Amy,
Sorry I am so late today! I loved your motivational game. I have tried those before and they really work. I definitely need to look for more smile, etc. lately!
Thanks for your prayers!
Pam
You. Are. A. Genius. This should be in parenting 101. The crummiest part of our day is the final pick up of the evening. Thanks to two of our boys dragging their feet and running their mouths too much, this time usually takes 20-30 minutes. It's filled with complaining, and sometimes arguing. Last night they had an enormous amount to pick up. I told them I had a challenge. I showed them my stopwatch. I told them that if they cleaned up everything within 10 minutes they would get THIS (and I whipped out half of a chocolate bar). If they cleaned up within 15 minutes, they would get half of that. If they took longer than 15 minutes, they would get nothing. Oh, I wish I had a camera to take a picture of their faces!!! A chocolate bar is a very rare treat around here. Wouldn't you know, they were done in 6 minutes and 57 seconds?!! YOU. Are. A. Genius.
Just wanted to say that I had one of those trying motherhood days today and I thought about this post- I can either be a grumpy guss and complain about doing the things I have to do, or be joyful and appreciate the gifts GOD has given me....even when they seem more like trials & tribulations :)
The bottom line is; We try not to insist on parent-led learning or gravitate toward child-led learning. We try instead to focus on God-led learning and ask for His input and perspective on every aspect of our home school. That way, when others fuss about what Dan and I are doing and make me second guess our decisions -- I can go back to our decision process and find God's fingerprints, reminding me that this is His way.
