If Jesus woke up in my shoes today - how would He handle my day?

I am finding myself asking this question more and more often lately.  In the everyday challenges of being a mom I sometimes find myself in situations that I don't know instinctively how to handle.  Or, I might react in way that produces the desired results but doesn't necessarily get to the heart of the matter. 

I am trying to remind myself to look to our Heavenly Father who knows all about our challenges and can walk us through how to best handle each situation.
God has or parenting answers.  He knows better than any of us how to handle:
Attitudes
Disobedience
Disrespectfulness
Laziness
ALL these heart issues! (in my children and myself!)

While I will never be Christ-like in ALL that I do, I determined to try to put everything in His hands and act and re-act only after prayer and reflecting on the question of
"If Jesus woke up in my shoes today - how would He handle my day?"

     We are moving and if there is one thing that I am definately not good at, it is cleaning!  Four of my wonderful friends came with me yesterday to clean the house we are moving into.  Three of them are sisters and one is a sister-in-law.  They all grew up in mennonite families and these girls know how to clean!   They actually enjoy doing it!
     Two of them each immediately took a bathroom (now that's love!), one took on the kitchen, and another started cleaning windows while I vacuumed every corner and crevice in all the rooms to remove cobwebs and dust.  We then scrubbed the walls, vacuumed the carpets, and mopped all the wood and linoleum floors.  The hot water was not working but we still cleaned away with cold water.
     Each of the boys cleaned their rooms with some of their friends.  In each room I placed a clipboard with a cleaning checklist so that I would not have to continuously have the boys coming to me asking "What do I do next?".  Next to each task I included what they were supposed to use to clean it.  For example:
     - Wash all baseboards using "lysol cleaner" water and a rag
     - Clean all windows using windex and paper towels
This saved LOTS of time, helped them to work independently, and prevented us from doubling our efforts.  It also allowed us moms to concentrate on our tasks without numerous interruptions.
     Four of the teen boys tackled the basement.  This was a task that I hadn't really thought through.  So, I had my friends come down and help me figure out what should be done first.  We sent them to work with the shop vac getting all the cobwebs along the ceiling and in the corners.  Then they swept the concrete floor.  After that we had them scrub all the walls with a cleaning solution and finish up by mopping the floor with bleach water.  Not one of them complained once.  I was so thankful to them!
     We got the entire house cleaned and even though we were exhausted we had a lot of fun together.  Any task is made easier when you have friends alongside you.  Now the real work begins - KEEPING it clean!

I am not really good at working my away around this blogging thing.  I never know how and where to answer questions that I am sometimes asked in my comments section. I can't figure out how to do that so I decided to start a new category just for questions. 
A wonderful blogger friend recently asked:
"My oldest son (9) questions our authority, and has struggles with obedience and kindness. I'd love your input if you have one in your brood like that and the things that have worked for you guys."

Oh yes - I have one like that!  And let me just say that I hope this doesn't come across as if I think I have all the answers - I will just share what has worked for our family and the rest of you please chime in with what has worked for you too!
We have tried many different things over the years to remedy this problem in our family, but for our boys, we have found that the most effective fix for disobedience or bad attitudes is TIME.
I can always tell when I am not spending enough time with my boys.  I will begin to see rolling of the eyes, bad attitudes about chores, procrastination on assignments, arguing and power playing with brothers, and a general distance in the air.  Now, certainly these things are normal when it happens occasionally, but I am talking about when this behavior is consistent.
And when I say spending time, I'm not really talking about "school" time.  As a homeschool mom, I thought I did spend a lot of time with my boys!  Certainly, I'm home with them all day.  But the Lord showed me that most of my interactions with them were either specifically about their school work or chores or activities.  Not necessarily any FUN stuff, or stuff that was important to them.  So, their relationship with me was mostly as teacher and taskmaster.
The Lord revealed to me that I neeed to spend time with them doing the every day tasks of being a boy, and spend time with them doing the things they enjoy doing - yes, even if that involves dirt and bugs, and swords, and taking things apart - ugh!
I know this sounds kind of silly but it really does work.
I compare it to my relationship with the Lord.  When I am not spending time with Him and in His Word, it is so much easier for me to think only of myself, to discount His commands and His will, and to seek my own personal pleasures and desires. 
But, when I am dwelling in His Word, and spending time with Him in prayer, it is so much harder for me to sin, to ignore His will, to ignore what I know is right.
I think the same principles apply to our children and their relationship with us.
So, my advice is to spend time with that little bundle of attitude, even if he doesn't like it at first.  If he truly feels how much you love him, care about what is important to him and want to be with him - issues will still come up but will be resolved much easier because you will have captured his heart, and his desire will be to not dissapoint you!

Here is one of our first family photos with my mom, grandma, and cousin:

I took this last picture of Joshua on the hay bail the other day.  He was in the middle of playing capture the flag with friends when I stopped him.  After I snapped that picture I said "Bye".  He said "Bye Mom" and then said "Now I can say mom and it really is true".  I didn't know whether to smile or cry!
We are so thankful to the Lord for bringing Joshua into our family!

Between homeschooling, working part time, being a homekeeper, wife to my hubby, and mom to four active boys - there just isn't a lot of "me" time.  We all know that saying - we need to take care of ourselves first in order to take care of others - but practically, I find that hard to do sometimes.

So, my solution is to take nice, long, relaxing showers.  Come to think of it, this is the only place where I am ever alone.  The peace and quiet allow me to relax and spend time with my brain, my heart, myself.  I get my greatest inspirations and ideas in the shower.  My thoughts and plans are solidified here.  Trouble is that in the shower I can't write all these great ideas down and by the time I get out I forget most of them.  It figures.  Oh well, at least "I" know that I was brilliant for a few minutes.

Before I got in the shower today, I told the boys to only bother me if it is important.  I really should have clarified what I meant by important (like broken bones or excessive bleeding).  But I assumed they knew what I meant.  Wrong.
The first knock at the door was followed by:
Mom, can I eat some of my left over Christmas candy that I found under my bed?
My response: Oh yeah, that's important.  Ask me when I get out of the shower.
Another knock by another guy
Mom, I had 2 BP&J sandwhiches but I am still hungry - can I make 2 more?
My response: Oh yeah, that's important.  Ask me when I get out of the shower.
(Notice a pattern here - I figure if I say this every time, they will eventually get the hint and only interrupt me if it really is necessary. I'll let you know in a couple of years if my theory worked.)
Another knock
Mom. Jacob's shooting me with a blow gun!
Now, my boys can make a weapon out of anything and I was really curious about the who/what/when/where/andwhy's of the blow gun so I took the bait:
Where did Jacob get a blowgun?
He made one out of that long thin tube you use to open and close the blinds.
Of course, why didn't I think of that!
What I really wanted to say is: Oh yeah, that's important, but that wouldn't be very nice so I ended my shower and set off to investigate the obviously now broken blinds and Jacob's new blog gun.

So much for alone time.  So much for deep, profound thoughts. 
I'll just have to be happy with peanut butter & jelly and blow guns.

I love surprises but I have realized that my boys don't.  Every year, they try to guess what is in the brightly wrapped presents under our Christmas tree.  To figure out what a present is, they shake, rattle, weigh, measure, sniff and feel their way around it as if Helen Keller taught them herself.  So, I now have a new strategy to try and ward off those little surprise spoilers.
I assign each boy (and dad and mom too) a reindeer name. 

They don't know who is what reindeer so even if they think they have a gift figured out, they have no idea who it is for.  I know this method works because they HATE it!  They groan and moan and beg to know what reindeer they are.  It is complete torture for them and so much fun for me!
So under our tree this year we have:
Rudolph, Dasher, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, and Blitzen.
If you have a present guessers like me, give them reindeer names, or the 7 dwarf names, or smurf names - it's fun!

Grocery shopping takes a lot of energy.  And one of the many things we moms need to be able to do in the grocery store is multi-task.  I am pretty good at multi-tasking and today in the grocery store was no different.  We were waiting in line and I was
- listening to the conversatiion that my two oldest boys were having
- reading the cover of Women's Day
- loading the groceries onto the belt
- watching the man in the next line who was trying to walk right up to the cashier in the middle of checking out a long line of people, handing her his 12 pack and some money because he wanted to pay right then, apparently not understanding how a grocery line and waiting your turn works
That was about all my brain could handle at once and I did not even realize that one of my younger boys was talking to me until I heard "nevermind, you're not listening".  I turned my head to see Jacob standing next to me.  I asked him to repeat what he said but he must have known that I was pretty distracted at the time because he replied:
"OK, but are you listening?"
Me: "Of course I am" (giggling because it sounded just like me!)
Jacob: (very seriously)  "Mom, you're laughing - now focus"
Me: this made me laugh even more "I AM focused"
Jacob: "Look me in the eye - that's what you always tell me - that way I KNOW you are listening"
So, after getting more giggles out I finally was able to focus, look him in the eye and really listen to what he was telling me. 
It was pretty funny but as I thought more about it I realized that he was right.  I AM always saying "How does someone know you are listening to them?"  To which my boys now automatically answer "Look them in the eye." 
I have tried to teach them that for years and I guess maybe I am getting through.
It was a good reminder that I can try to teach them good manners and habits but if I am not modeling them myself then the lesson will not be learned as easily.  And ouch - that hurt!

I read this snippet somewhere and I have to remind myself of this truth everyday.  If you think about it - the moms attitude really is what determines the mood of the home.  I notice that if I am grumpy or on edge, everyone else turns into a "Grumpy Smurf".  If I am upset, everyone else seems to get upset more quickly. 

We know how quickly a hug can melt away dissapointment.
A kind word can give enough encouragement to try again.
A smile and a good laugh can ease angry faces.
Even when hubby comes home frustrated after a long day, if my mood is positive, his perks up too.  I want to be a mom who clings to the truth that:
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." 
Proverbs 15:1
Lord, help me to have gentle answers for my family today.  Help me to create a positive, loving, atmosphere in our home so we can live out your Word.  And Lord, please remind me that 
MY attitude more than anyone else's creates the atmosphere in our home!

This video is hilarious, I know all you moms out there can relate! "The Mom" song, by Anita Renfroe. What a mom says in 24 hours, condensed into 2 minutes and 55 seconds.

If you can't see it here visit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxT5NwQUtVM
Thanks to my friend Amy for sending it my way.  The words are pasted below.
Enjoy!  Dee

"The Mom Song"
Get up now
Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepyhead
Here's your clothes and your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now! Get up and make your bed
Are you hot? Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where's your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and gloves and your scarf and hat
Don't forget! You gotta feed the cat
Eat your breakfast, the experts tell us it's the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at 3 today
Don't forget your piano lesson is this afternoon so you must play
Don't shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside, don't play rough, will you just play fair?
Be polite, make a friend, don't forget to share
Work it out, wait your turn, never take a dare
Get along! Don't make me come down there
Clean your room, fold your clothes, put your stuff away
Make your bed, do it now, do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn? Would you like some hay?
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone! Get off the phone!
Don't sit so close, turn it down, no texting at the table
No more computer time tonight!
Your iPod's my iPod if you don't listen up
Where are you going and with whom and what time do you think you're coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You'll appreciate my wisdom someday when you're older and you're grown
Can't wait till you have a couple little children of your own
You'll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now I thank you not to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew, would appreciate
Take a bite maybe two of the stuff you hate
Use your fork, do not burp or I'll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an A, get the door, don't get smart with me
Get a grip, get in here, I'll count to three
Get a job, get a life, get a PHD
Get a dose of,
"I don't care who started it!
You're grounded until you're 36"
Get your story straight and tell the truth for once, for heaven's sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff would you jump, too?
If I've said it once, I've said at least a thousand times before
That you're too old to act this way
It must be your father's DNA
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straighter when you walk
A place for everything and everything must be in place
Stop crying or I'll give you something real to cry about
Oh!
Brush your teeth, wash your face, put your PJs on
Get in bed, get a hug, say a prayer with mom
Don't forget, I love you
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom's work never ends
You don't need the reason why
Because, because, because, because
I said so, I said so, I said so, I said so
I'm the mom, the mom, the mom, the mom, the mom!!
Ta da!!!