Posted in book reviews

My daughter has been meeting with her tutor on Friday evenings at Borders bookstore. As you can imagine, this is a real hardship for me: an hour wandering around millions of books with the scent of coffee wafting through the air.  The baby does not always cooperate; usually, he nurses when we arrive, and then spends the rest of the hour fussing to sleep, falling asleep just as it's time to wake him up by putting him back in his car seat to leave.  One evening, a book called The Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family by Patrick Lencioni caught my eye.  It took me three evenings and 14,152 steps pacing with a fussy Brogan to read it. (Just kidding, I didn't count my steps.)

Obviously, it's a easy, short read.  I took some notes and have been applying it to our lives, and I do think it has clarified things for me somewhat.  I still don't think it is worth $15 (from Amazon) or $25 (from Borders).  So that all of you don't have to spend the money or spend three nights pacing in the store, I will now divulge the three big questions.

Well, two of them anyway.  I only have two in my notes.  I think I can figure out the third though.

1. What makes your family unique?

2. What's your family's top priority right now?

3. What are your family's objectives?

The first question is very much like a mission statement.  Its purpose is to define what the priorities in your family are.  After some work, I came up with this for our family. (Incidentally, the book suggests doing this as a couple.  Since I value my husband's sanity, I didn't make him sit down and do this with me.)  "Our family is a large Catholic homeschooling family that wants all of its members to develop their God-given potential by supporting each other while following our individual interests."

The second question is pretty straightforward: what needs to get done right now?  Last year at this time, it was getting Robert through the college application process.  This should be a goal that will last 2-6 months. 

The family's objectives are broken down into two kinds: defining objectives and standard objectives.  Defining objectives are the components of your top priority.  You should have five or six.  For example, if applying to college is your priority, then some defining objectives are: identifying colleges to apply to, completing applications, completing the FAFSA, and assembling a transcript.

Now, while you are working on those objectives, you can't let the world fall down around you.  There are other things that also have to be done. Those are standard objectives.  I identified five ongoing objectives for our family: basic housework, decluttering, homeschooling, outside activities (ballet, tutoring, speech therapy), and our faith (Rosary, family prayer, and going to Mass).

Then he suggests having a ten minute family meeting (I meet with myself) once a week (or when I think of it) to rate how you are doing on all the objectives.  Give yourself a red, yellow, or green on each item. Red means you're really not getting that done, yellow means it's going OK but could be better, green means it's going fine.

Having this all thought out helps you make those spur of the moment decisions.  If your top priority is to save up $1000, then when the neighbor's children knock on the door selling overpriced stuff, you can turn them down because it doesn't fit your priority right now.  If your priority is getting your child into college, then you can turn down the request to organize the homeschool group's science fair because you know what your priority is, and you won't have the time to do the fair justice.  That's better than feeling guilty, saying yes, and then doing it badly while missing deadlines for college and letting your house be buried by Mt. Saint Laundry.

And that's pretty much it.  The rest of the book is a filler story (which he calls a "fable") about a fictional family learning this and applying it to their family, and then teaching other families about it.  It's actually somewhat annoying, but hey, he needed to fill up a whole book!  Especially annoying was that he said that this family had decided to live below their means so the mom could stay home.  "Below their means" meant: school-age children in Catholic school, annual vacations, babysitter on call, gym membership, etc.  I don't know many people that could live like that and still be below their means! However, even if your family isn't frantic, it probably couldn't hurt to sit down and figure out where you are going and what you are doing.

Our pediatrician predicted when Brogan was three months old that he would be crawling by six months.  He just turned five months, and has been lifting his chest off the ground.  Today I saw him briefly get up onto his knees as well.  He is already doing that moving backwards thing, and can roll competently too.

As soon as he figures it out, he will be after those three little boys who run around constantly, and then it will be -

ALL MOTION, ALL THE TIME!!!!

Can't wait! (insert slight sarcastic tone there)

I know that I am really, truly, honestly, totally blessed, but I need some coffee to go and some chocolate doughnuts if I'm going to live through this.

Posted in book reviews

I don't normally read mysteries, but my oldest son does and we watched the movie together, so I wanted to read the book. My son describes it as "Christie's creepiest mystery," and it certainly is. A poor man and a rich girl meet and fall in love, but danger lurks everywhere. I can't say too much about it without giving anything away, but I wish that I didn't know how it ended while reading the book. I did enjoy both the book and the movie, but of course the book was better. The title refers to a poem by William Blake called "Auguries of Innocence."

Posted in movie reviews

Then go add it to your Netflix queue right this minute!  Don't have Netflix?  Join the 21st century already!  It's 2009, people!  Happy New Year, by the way!

Holiday Inn is a really entertaining movie.  The premise is basically that Bing Crosby comes up with an idea to have an inn that only has performances on holidays.  He hires a girl with whom he falls in love and tries to hide her from his old partner Fred Astaire, who wants her to be his new dance partner, but Bing knows that he always "falls in love" with his partners.  Interspersed throughout the movie are song and dance numbers that are incredible.  Fred Astaire does a dance while supposedly drunk and another number for the Fourth of July where he tap dances with firecrackers.  Of course, I always love hearing Bing Crosby sing, especially the song White Christmas, which won an Oscar for Best Song and was the inspiration for the movie of the same name.

Filmed in 1942, watching this movie with your children is a great history lesson.  It was made way back when movies were filmed in black and white, when Lincoln's birthday and Washington's birthday were celebrated separately, when telephones required operators to work, when there were still sleighs in use, when records were state of the art, when political correctness was not an issue (evidenced by the performers wearing blackface for Lincoln's birthday), and when telegrams were sent instead of text messages.  It includes a "current" reference to Roosevelt's attempt to change the date of Thanksgiving to appease businesses who wanted more shopping days before Christmas.  Apparently the commercialization of the holidays is nothing new!

My children love this movie! Two years ago, my daughters were inspired to have our own "holiday inn," and they held shows for us on every holiday that year.  They came up with everything: costumes, music, songs, and choreography.  We tend to watch this movie on New Year's Day because it seems fitting.  I hope you enjoy it too!

Posted in Me

Some online acquaintances suggested a challenge for 2009: read one book a week (at least).  I figured that I could actually reach that goal since I probably have already done this my entire life!  It's like a challenge to keep breathing.

Even though I do read a lot, I have never kept a list of all the books I read.  Writing reviews on this blog is the closest I've come, but I don't review every book I read.  I really should write them as soon as I finish reading the book, but if I don't, then I have to basically reread the book before I write the review, and, well, then it just doesn't happen.

So, who's with me? One book a week - come on, you can do it!

I also have another list of goals for 2009 - it's time to start relosing the weight I regained with my pregnancy with Brogan (ugh!), I plan to write at least 7 hours per week, and make sure that we are doing everything we need to in our homeschool.  It's also time to potty train the twins, since they keep taking their diapers off.

What do you have planned for 2009?

Posted in book reviews

For several years my aunt, who turned 90 this year, has sent me money to buy the children's Christmas presents from her so she doesn't have to shop.  This year I decided to order all their presents from Usborne Books. While looking through the catalog, I saw this book Roman Britain and got it for me.  This book is fascinating! I finished reading it today, and plan to look at all the internet links as I can.

I learned that so many British towns end in "chester/cester" because it comes from the Latin word meaning "fort" - "castra."  I have always been interested in place names.  I remember asking my family on one loooong trip across Pennsylvania why some towns ended in "burg" and others "burgh."  No one knew, but my lovely aunt found out years later that towns ending in "burgh" were shortened from "borough" and that's why they have the h on the end.  But I digress.

I love the map of Roman Britain, but then of course, I love maps.  Have I ever mentioned that my best Christmas present ever was a road atlas of England, Ireland, Scotland, and Wales?  I didn't know that before the Romans came, there were no towns in Britain, and the people lived in round houses.  There is a picture of a reconstructed Iron Age village that I would love to visit someday!  I also liked reading about Hadrian's Wall and hope to see it someday as well.

I have a little difficulty with their two-line summary of Christianity - "Christianity began about 2,000 years ago when a Jew named Jesus started preaching in Judea, a small Roman province in the Middle East.  After he died, his followers continued to teach his ideas." - but I suppose I can deal with it.  And I learned the story behind the town named St. Albans.

It was odd to read that, had we lived then, we would be busy finding a husband for our older daughter, who will be 13 in six months, the age Roman girls married.  However, I was glad to know that I would have been successful at my main duty - "to produce lots of children - preferably boys who might bring prosperity to the family." 

I intend to read more about the Mildenhall treasure.  In the 1940s, a farmer was digging in his field and found this whole buried treasure from the 4th century.  The book speculates that people buried their valuables to keep the Saxons from getting them, but never came back to dig them up. 

In case you're curious, Gabrielle got Forensic Science, Mary got Napoleon (she really likes him), Ryan got the Stories of Knights book and CD, Alexander got That's Not My Plane, Christopher got That's Not My Train, and Brogan got That's Not My Reindeer.  My aunt sent Robert a separate check!

Posted in Homeschooling

St. Nicholas knows me very well, and his present to me this year was a book I had on hold at the library - Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell.  I am thrilled to have my own copy!

I first heard of this book in Reader's Digest and thought it sounded interesting.  Basically, it studies what it takes to make someone successful.  In America we have the ideal of the "self-made man," who starts from nothing and through hard work, grit, and determination becomes a multi-millionaire.  Gladwell shows us that this is a myth.  No one makes themselves - they had help and opportunities along the way.  That's why Part One is called "Opportunity." 

However, they also worked very, very hard, and Gladwell tells us about the 10,000 hour rule.  It seems that in pretty much any field, you need 10,000 hours of practice to become a world-class expert.  As an example, he tells us of a study done at Berlin's Academy of Music.  The violinists were separated into 3 categories: possible world-class soloist, merely good, destined to become music teachers.  They were all asked how many hours over their entire careers they had practiced.  They all started violin at 5 years of age and practiced the same amounts in the early years.  Then the ones who were in the best group began practicing more and more, and totaled 10,000 hours at about age 20.  The good group totaled 8000 hours each and the music teacher group only 4000 hours.  (He doesn't explore the possibility that the lower group might be satisfied with where they are, and of course, to misquote the movie Mulan, "Well, we can't all be world-class soloists!")

Here's a quote from the end of that section: "ten thousand hours is an enormous amount of time.  It's all but impossible to reach that number all by yourself by the time you're a young adult.  You have to have parents who encourage and support you.  You can't be poor, because if you have to hold down a part-time job on the side to help make ends meet, there won't be time left in the day to practice enough.  In fact, most people can reach that number only if they get into some kind of special program...or...get some kind of extraordinary opportunity."

Another interesting chapter deals with "practical intelligence" - the way that you get what you need from others basically.  "Social savvy" is another term used to describe it.  Gladwell tells us of a study done by a sociologist who studied third graders from all different backgrounds and focused on 12 families.  Gladwell says,

"You might expect that if you spent such an extended period in twelve different households, what you would gather is twelve different ideas about how to raise children...what Lareau found, however, is something much different.  There were only two parenting 'philosophies,' and they divided almost perfectly along class lines.  The wealthier parents raised their kids one way, and the poorer parents raised their kids another way.  The wealthier parents were heavily involved in their children's free time, shuttling them from one activity to the next...That kind of intensive scheduling was almost entirely absent from the lives of poor children...What a child did was considered by his or her parents as something separate from the adult world and not particularly consequential...One girl from a working class family sang in a choir...Lareau writes: What Mrs. Brindle doesn't do that is routine for middle-class mothers is view her daughter's interst in singing as a signal to look for other ways to help her develop that interest into a formal talent.  Similarly Mrs. Brindle does not discuss Katie's interest in drama or express regret that she cannot afford to cultivate her daughter's talent."

After telling us more about this study, Gladwell sums it up by saying, "When we talk about the advantages of class, Lareau argues, this is in large part what we mean.  Alex is better off than Katie because he's wealthier and because he goes to a better school, but also because...the sense of entitlement that he has been taught is an attitude perfectly suited to succeeding in the modern world."

So basically, success is some natural talent, lots of hard work, and opportunities that help you get there.  Part 2 of the book examines cultural legacies, how some cultures are well suited to bring success in something, while others need to be changed to allow success.  It discusses the same thing I learned from the Right Start Math program I bought for Ryan: one reason that Asians are better at math is because their languages have more logical number systems.  It is easier for a child to learn to count in an Asian language, so by the age of 5, American children are already one year behind. 

In English, we count 1-10.  The next number is eleven, an entirely different word that must be learned.  In contrast, eleven is ten-one in Asian languages.  American children get stuck learning the names for the tens - my five year old currently knows twenty, thirty, and possibly forty and fifty.  If we had a number system like the Asian languages, he could count to 100 without having to learn any new vocabulary beyond 1-10, and the concept of place value would be so much more transparent.

There's a lot more that's fascinating in this book, but the two things I am most interested in are: how can I apply these findings to my children's lives and homeschooling, and how can I apply them to my own life?  I intend to reread the book with these thoughts in mind, but I do have some initial reactions.  Children who are homeschooled have much more time to pile up hours in their areas of interest, thus reaching 10,000 sooner than they could otherwise. Homeschooling parents do not have the attitude that the lower class families in Lareau's study displayed ("the school is responsible for my child's education), because they have already taken on that responsibility regardless of family income.  Most homeschool parents I know try to actively encourage the interests and talents their children show, as I have tried to do with Mary's interest in Swedish.

Another thing discussed in the book is the advantage that some children have by being born closer to the cut-off date, whether it's in school or a sports league.  Many NHL hockey players are born in January, February, or March. Why? Because Canada's very well organized youth hockey programs have a cutoff date of January 1.  The kids born in January are nearly a whole year older than the ones born in December of the same year, so they are bigger and more mature and play better, so they are chosen as all-stars and go on to elite leagues and receive more practice and training which makes them better, and on and on.

The effects, especially in regards to education, are never made up.  Gladwell mentions a study that "looked at the relationship between scores on...math and science tests given every four years to children in many countries around the world and month of birth. They found that among fourth graders, the oldest children scored somewhere between four and twelve percentile points better than the youngest children...[which] means that if you take two intellectually equivalent fourth graders with birthdays at the opposite ends of the cutoff date, the older...could score in the 80th percentile, while the younger one could score in the 68th."  I believe this could have been a factor in my husband's education, since he started school as a four year old with a late September birthday.

Obviously, homeschooling helps a lot with this issue.  There is no pressure to keep up with the class, and kindergarten can begin when the child is ready.  My five year old, whose birthday is also in September, could have started kindergarten this year if we didn't homeschool.  He is academically ready for the work, but would have floundered in the school environment as a very young five.  At home, he can work at his own pace and not have to compete with children a year older than him.

As for applying these findings to me, it's a wake-up call that goes perfectly with my last couple of posts.  Basically, the idea is to spend my hours wisely.  Right now I cannot write for 20 hours a week (20 hours per week, 50 weeks per year, for 10 years will get me to 10,000), but I can set a goal of 10 hours and work to increase.  The important thing is not to waste those hours with non-essential activities.  And I need to examine the cultural values I have and see what might need to be adjusted.

This is my 200th entry! It seems appropriate that it was a book review!

My friend Katherine (soon to be momma of six!) posted this youtube clip on her blog, and I thought it was great!  A family with seven children wrote a song to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" about all the comments a large family receives.  Here's the link: "The Twelve Days of a Large Family Christmas." (By the way, don't miss the credits - they cracked me up!)

When Robert left for college (meaning I had to take all the children with me when we went out), I braced myself for rude, judgmental comments.  But to my surprise, none have been forthcoming (yet, anyway!)  We go to the library two times a week so that Gabrielle can meet her tutor.  Normally the girls go ahead in and I follow later with the four boys.  Ryan walks, Alexander and Christopher ride in the double stroller, and Brogan is in the sling. 

Not only have I not gotten negative comments, I have gotten incredibly positive comments.  "Boy, you have a wonderful family!" one librarian told me.  A man waiting for the bus saw us and broke into a huge grin.  He looked at all the boys and then looked at me and said, "Well done!"  I have gotten many, "You've got your hands full" comments, but all said in a friendly way.  I just reply, "Yes, I do!", because, well, I do.  Women have told me that they always wanted more children and admire my family.  The funniest comment came from a lady who looked at all the boys and then said to me, "I think you need one on your back too!"  I laughed and said, "That'd be great! " (No need to take me literally, God!) Ryan makes sure to tell everyone that there is another brother named Robert who is away at college.

My husband, however, has gotten all the comments mentioned in the song, I believe.  I don't understand why I haven't, except that maybe it's because I have twins.  If I had four children five and under and two weren't twins, maybe the reaction would be different? Or maybe people have their "Oh, look, twins!" reaction which precludes a negative reaction.  I don't know.

Whatever the reason, I am always happy when my children can bring a bit of joy into others' lives, especially during the holiday season.  Merry Christmas to all of you, from all of us!

Posted in Homeschooling

Slipping Through My Fingers - ABBA

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I'm losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake, I let precious time go by
Then when she's gone there's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt I can't deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
(Slipping through my fingers all the time)
Well, some of that we did but most we didn't
And why I just don't know

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers

Slipping through my fingers all the time

Schoolbag in hand she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile

This song is a great reason for homeschooling!  It reminds me that all my children have been growing and changing while I have been wasting my time doing things that don't matter.  I have them home with me because I want to be with them, because I want to share their learning with them.  I guess I needed to be reminded of that.  I don't want to have my last one leave and think, "What happened to the wonderful adventures/The places I had planned for us to go/Well, some of that we did but most we didn't/And why I just don't know."

Posted in Me

A long time ago I read a book about simplifying Christmas.  The author sat down and thought about what she would like Christmas to be.  She envisioned herself playing the piano, singing carols with her family all around.  She then concentrated on making her vision come to life and had a wonderful, satisfying Christmas.

The idea is similar to what I have always said about weddings.  Frequently there is one thing that the bride has always wanted as part of her wedding.  For me, it was that I wanted my wedding dress to be made for me.  That was the most important thing for me, and the thing I would have spent the most on.  As it turned out, my dream was also less expensive, because the seamstress made my dress for half of what it would have cost in the store, and she made the veil, the slip and the ring pillow as part of the deal too.  But dreams aren't always less expensive.  Someone I knew had always dreamed of going to her wedding in a limousine, so she and her fiancé hired one.  The point is - spend your money on what is most important to you, in your wedding.

Both ideas pertain to things that can be crazy, that have the potential to be out of control in costs and energy expended.  By focusing on your own dream, your own vision of Christmas or your wedding, you automatically chip away unnecessary activities or expenses, until you are left with what will satisfy you most.

There is a scene in the Karate Kid where Mr. Miyagi tells Daniel how to trim a bonsai tree.  He tells him to close his eyes and picture the tree, and then open his eyes and make the tree like his picture.  Well, that is what I am going to do with my life.

I feel dissatisfied.  I feel like I am spending my days not doing what would most satisfy me.  I am going to close my eyes and imagine how my life should be, and then open my eyes and do the work to make it so.  So if I don't blog for a while, you'll know that I am out there, making my life what I want it to be.

Posted in Me

Where, oh where, can it be?

I can tell that I have less time than before,  and also less uninterrupted time.  Things that I have done for years no longer get done.  I pick up newspapers and don't get to read them.  Magazines come and I don't read them.  Books still get read, but not as many, as far as putting together an actual review of one, forget about it!

I feel frazzled, scattered and unfocused.  I never know when I may get a chance to focus on something.  I wander around the house, starting thing after thing and not completing anything before being interrupted.  Or, I actually get something done, and then the twins undo it and I spend the next two days redoing it.

For example, earlier this week, I finally sorted through all the twins' clothes.  I put away summer clothes, put clothes that are too small for them aside for Brogan, and sorted out matching outfits.  They have so many clothes that I put a bin of extras in the closet if we need them.  If we don't, I will get rid of them.  So, great, accomplished something!  Twins' clothes all sorted, all ready to grab and go!

I didn't think they could get their dresser drawers open.  Well, they can.  The next day they had pulled all their clothes out and they were all over the floor.  I made them pick them up and then put them in a pile outside their door so they couldn't do it again, while I though about where to put them.  Then I got tired of seeing the pile so I stacked them neatly.

The next day the twins were playing and threw the clothes all over the hallway.  The girls witnessed my near nervous breakdown over this and supervised the twins cleaning them up.  I still don't know where to put their clothes.

Today they pulled a chair into the kitchen and got down the chocolate chips from the cabinet.  Guess the chocolate chips are going up one more shelf.  I honestly think that this is the hardest stage with twins so far, except for the massive sleep deprivation of the newborn period.  But I even look back on that with some nostalgia, because they couldn't move. Or climb. Or run. Or destroy things. Or flush every toothbrush in the house. Or..or...or...  They don't nap anymore, they are constantly rising to the challenge to get around whatever childproofing we do.  Thank God they are mostly obedient!

So while I have got ideas for interesting blog entries that I want to write, that would require an amazing confluence of events: I think of idea when it's actually possible to write it, I have a chance to sit down and write it, and no one interrupts me.  Not likely to happen soon!  And if it did, well, I probably should be working on my novel anyway.

My focus now is remembering that I wanted to enjoy the infant period with Brogan, and that time is fast passing me by.  He just turned four months old! So, I am off to cuddle my baby (and continue searching for my brain!)

Posted in Pictures

It's not my fault! He's so cute!! And so photogenic!

Well, it is December and so NaNoWriMo 2008 is officially over!  I knew from the beginning it would be hard for me to get to 50,000 words, but I am happy to announce that I made it to 30,000!  I plan to keep working through December and reach 50,000 by the end of this month, with a daily goal of 1000 words.

I will try to blog more too.  Coming soon: an update on speaking German with the children (which I have only been meaning to write for oh, how old is Brogan now?, four months!).

Posted in Pictures

What happens when you put together two doting sisters, an adorable baby, and a digital camera?  This!

Yes, we are starting him early on praying the Rosary!  But I won't expect him to be on the right beads for another couple of months or so.

See his extremely blue eyes?

Big smiles and lots of drool are frequent sightings in this house!

Posted in Me

Last night I finally hit 25,000 words after having been on the verge for several days.  I think it's extremely unlikely that I will win NaNoWriMo, since there is only one week left to write.  Even I am not that much of an optimist!

But this has been really good for me! It got me going, got me writing, instead of just thinking about it.  It showed me that I can do this, even now with 4 little children and everything else going on.  Hopefully I won't have to go back to teaching in a year or two but can instead become a published author.

Still not sure when I am going to sleep, however.  Maybe we need a national contest racking up the sleeping hours!

Two months ago when I wrote about my husband (calling him "Mr. Books and Brownies," which I am not sure he appreciated), Emily left a comment saying, "Thanks for posting this. In a day when marriages are crumbling right and left it's so encouraging! Maybe your next post should share what you've learned in your years together about staying happily married. :-)"  I wasn't really sure what I could say.  I hardly ever give people advice.  I suppose it's my little effort at counterbalancing the MANY people who feel they need to give everyone the benefit of their sage advice.  I know I'd be lost in my parenting without that one lady in the grocery store to tell me what to do!

Next July is the tipping point, after which I will have known Roger longer than I didn't know him.  I have sometimes wondered if we are just lucky.  Did we just happen to meet the right person and live happily ever after?  But then I think back on the three years we were together before we got engaged, and I know that we really worked on our relationship.  We did a lot to make sure that we were right for each other.  There were times when it was hard and we could have said, "No way."  But we didn't.  Maybe sometimes people give up too soon.  We weren't married yet and so we both knew that we could leave the relationship and yet we stayed and worked our issues out, and when we had them all worked out, we got engaged.  And even then, we waited another year.  So during our entire marriage, we have always known that we both chose to be here with each other, and we made that choice clearly, knowing pretty much everything there is to know about each other.

But on the flip side, I think of our love as a grand romance.  It's elevated above petty concerns like bills, jobs, problems, and stress.  Those things exist, but I don't let them touch our romance.  It's really hard to describe.  Maybe an example would help.

About a year after we got married, Roger was without a job.  One of my friends felt that Roger was not doing enough to find a new job and kept telling me that I should push him to do this or do that.  Finally I told her that I was not going to ruin my marriage - a permanent state - over a temporary jobless condition.  It's like in the lyrics to Lonely No More - "What if it was paradise? What if we were symphonies?" What if, indeed?

I was never really that good at keeping the house clean and clutter-free, and in 2005 when I was pregnant with the twins, things went seriously downhill.  The house was not a priority when I was lying in bed during the pregnancy, or when I was taking care of infant twins and a two year old while trying to homeschool and help my husband find a job.  It was not a priority when I suddenly began to look for a job and had to write a resume and fill out applications (which is very time-consuming!).  It was not a priority last year when I was teaching every day, homeschooling, and navigating the college application process while having all the energy sucked out of me through pregnancy.

And perhaps this has contributed to the fact that I can no longer stand it.  I cannot take the mess anymore!  So this summer I began sorting through boxes of stuff and trying to get things clean.  Slowly the house is getting better, very slowly.  I guess I wouldn't call it a priority now, but at least it's on the radar!

So I wanted to share some success with you all.  When friends of ours moved two summers ago, they gave us a bookcase that they didn't want to take with them.  We accepted it because we can never have enough bookcases!  We put in along the wall by the front door. Here's what we have done with it:

Starting from the top on the left, there is a little bin labelled "Outside Stuff."  That contains sunscreen and the dog leash.  Next to that are my husband's hats so they are right there when he wants to wear them outside.  The big bin on top is labelled "Twins' Shoes and Socks."  That is where we keep their main shoes and spare pairs and clean socks go directly in that bin.  That way we are never searching for their shoes when we are trying to get out the door!

The two top shelves are all our family DVDs in alphabetical order (good practice for our dyslexic child!).  On the third shelf there is a basket that holds our rosaries for when we pray.  To the right of that are three books that used to be on top on a little bookshelf that is just to the right of where the picture ends.  Now nothing goes on top of that bookcase and that will help get rid of that hot zone.  The books are The Complete C.S. Lewis Signature Classics, The Catechism of the Catholic Church, and a little photo album that contains our holy cards.  (A holy card is a little laminated card that has a picture of a saint on one side and either a biography or a prayer on the other side.)

Underneath the shelves we put four hooks.  Currently they hold the boys' coats, with Ryan's and Brogan's on the same hook.  The far right hook is for the sleepers that Christopher and Alexander wear to bed.  We change them in the living room so it's more convenient to have them there than in their bedroom.  Eventually they will change in their room and Ryan and Brogan will have separate hooks for their coats.

On the bottom is a bin for hats.  Alexander especially likes to wear hats, and we always had hats floating around our house.  Now they have a place!  To the right of the bin of hats is the sling I use in the house (I have another that I keep in the car - gotta maintain my rep, right, Emily? ;-)

To the left of the bookcase is another bookcase that we just had to take out of the twins' room because they were pulling everything off it and trying to climb it.  I am now working on getting that organized.  I have done the top shelf so far - it holds our games.  The other shelves have old books (like my college textbooks), homeschooling stuff we are not currently using, and old videotapes that I need to sort through.  That's why it's not in the picture!

Posted in Pictures

There are many things I don't like about where I live: the long hot summers, the many varieties of disgusting bugs, the many varieties of disgusting taxes, the lack of real Catholic churches, the insane auto insurance laws, and the lack of snow (actually the lack of a real winter at all).  But I do love the fall view from a certain road in town.  One day, the first year we lived here, my oldest son and I were driving on that road, and I sighed and said, "Oh, I just love that view! Look at the trees - they are so beautiful!"

My raptures ended when Robert replied, "Yeah, they look like Tuna Helper!"

"Tuna helper?!" I replied.

"The trees that are still green are the broccoli parts, the orange trees are the cheese sauce," and he went on explaining how the fall leaves resembled Tuna Helper.

I decided then that we were eating too much Tuna Helper!

Here's part of the view:

It doesn't really do it justice, and I am still not sure how it looks like Tuna Helper!  But I will continue to enjoy it until our politicians figure out some way to tax it.

Posted in Pictures

I have some blog posts floating around in my brain to write, so while you're waiting for them, enjoy some fall-themed pictures: my boys playing in the leaves during their sisters' ballet classes!