Aug. 28, 2008 - black butterflies and pink napkins
I found a black butterfly in my driveway yesterday.......it was dead, but still. It was lying right there for me to find when I went out the check the mail, a great big one. I love butterflies and this is the time of year when I first got Kendra and Kenzie and the butterflies were thick in the air, like they are now. My red, bristle brush bush is in full bloom. The butterflies are swarming around it like magic. I always thought that the butterfly symbol was symbolic of the girls, how they were catapillars and would someday bloom into butterflies if someone would only love them enough to let them spread their wings. I have a beautiful butterfly ring to remind me of how much I love them and how blessed I was to have them come into my life. A weird thing happened.....it broke. The delicate wing started to lift away from the rest of the ring and now I can't wear it anymore. I am a firm believer in signs. That God sends you signs....like little reminders, to remember beauty or love. A song on the radio may come on and remind you of someone. You may smell something and think of a happy time in your life......or you can find a dead butterfly in your driveway. I know..... I am strange. We have been up and down with the girls. There have been some low, low points. Disagreements and points of view exchanged over the past year, but they are still here and I love them so much. They have my heart.....
Then tonight when I was tucking Kenzie in and kissing her goodnight. I saw something sticking out from under her pillow. She is famous for putting things under her pillow that are super special to her. Photos, letters, whatever. You see, over the summer she attended daycare and every Friday they had a picnic day outside. Parents packed a lunch, something special to break the monotony of a summer in day care, I guess. ( this is not my choice, the girls have to be seen by the public eye everyday and when there is no school, there is only daycare) So on the last picnic day I had found some hot pink napkins left over from a birthday in the cupboard, I put one in the lunch box. I had written on it.....I LOVE YOU KENZIE in marker. I never saw it again, so I assumed that she used it and threw it away. She can read the words I love you and recognize her own name, so I knew she would know what it meant. I pulled out this pink thing, sort of annoyed, thinking that she had packratted some scrap of paper under there. When I saw it, tears stung my eyes. It was the napkin I had put in her lunch from over a month ago. It was a little wrinkled and you could see where she had smoothed it out with her little hands and folded it over and over. I was so humbled, because I know that something so small let her know that she is special to me and that I am special to her also...... something that costs nothing, yet is priceless.
It is a wonderous thing to feel loved. You are more alive, like a breeze under your wings from somewhere. Like an angel in disguise came and brushed their wings over you. You can skip along with a song on your lips and in your heart. To know that someone you love truly loves you? I love that feeling.....Don't you?
Comments
Aug. 29, 2008 - Hello
Posted by genevieve1642
Hey there Cyndi. So glad your family is well. I am in a terrible year, and rut. I don't really know what I am going to do. My life is weird. Anyway, I don't really have much support for homeschooling out here. There are not many people homeschooling in our little town. I appreciate your butterfly analogy. Maybe it's that we are all still caterpillars or in a cocoon? Have a blessed day..
Aug. 30, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by CrossView
This is such a beautiful post.
And to rest in knowing you're loved is the best security ever.
