Sunday, June 8, 2008 - Sorry, i just had too.......
A brunette was going to Disneyland saw a road sign that read "Disneyland left"
so she went left and made it to disneyland.
A red head who was also going to Disneyland saw the same road sign,
and also went left, she also made it to Disneyland and had a great time.
A blonde was going to disneyland and saw the road sign that said "Disneyland left"
so she went home.
Blonde watching the news
A blonde and brunette sit watching the 5 'o' clock news where a man is
threatning to jump off a bridge.
the blonde says to the brunette i bet you £100 that he doesn't jump the brunette replies
"ok i bet you £100 that he does jump.
Sure enough the man jumped off of the bridge and killed himself.
the blonde gets out £100 and gives it to the brunette.
The brunette says 'i can't take your money.'
'Why not replies the blonde?'
'Because i watched the 12 '0' clock news and he was on then so i knew
that he was going to jump.'
The blonde replied 'i watched the 12 'o' clock news as well but i didn't think
that he would jump again.'
Blonde and the lawyer
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane.
The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence.
Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde
could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5.00,
but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00.
The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.00. then the blonde asked,
"What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything
he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying
to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted,
"What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
Blonde and a brunette
A blonde and a brunette were talking, and the blonde was
very stressed. The brunette asked her what was the matter.
The blonde proceeded to tell her that she really needed to
sell her car, but no one would buy because it has 100,000
miles on it.
The brunette said to her, "I know a way that will help you
sell it. I have a friend who can help you, but its illegal."
The blonde said, " I'll do anything." So the brunette gave the
blonde the phone number of a guy who could turn back the odometer
on her car. A week later the blonde and the brunette crossed
paths, and the brunette asked the blonde if she had sold her car
yet.
The blonde said, "Why would I sell a car with only 50,000 miles on it?!
Blonde and a brunette
If a blonde and a brunette fell out of an airplane, who would land first?
The brunette ,the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.
Blonde laugh on Friday
How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?
Tell her a joke on Monday.
BMW
A blonde is driving in her brand new BMW.
She cuts off a truck driver and he gets really mad.
He harrasses her until she pulls over.
He yells at her to get out of her car so she does.
He say stand here and he draws a circle around her with chalk.
He says, " You better not get out of the circle or else...."
He goes back to his car and gets a knife and slashes her tires.
She starts laughing really loud.
The trucker gets really mad so he goes to get a bat and bangs in her doors.
She laughs even harder.
He gets reallllllly mad so he gets a crow bar and smashes her windows.
She is ready to wet her pants.
So he walks over to her and asks her what is so funny and she says,
"Everytime you went back to your car I stepped out of the circle!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!"
Blonde On the Highway
One day a blonde was driving on the highway and got pulled over by a cop. The cop said "Why do you keep swerving?" The blonde replied "I turn one way and there's a tree, I turn again there's a tree, and then there's a whole bunch more trees popping out of nowhere." The cop replied "You weirdo, that's your air freshener."
Pin
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like crazy....shes got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Sick Leave
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the
Boss would not allow me to take a leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So I hung upside down from the ceiling and made funny noises.My coworker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing ?
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb.He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days. "
I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my coworker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss said to her, " And where do you think you're going?"
(You're gonna love this.....)
She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!"
Raking leaves
How did the blonde break her arm while she was raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree.
Ice Fishing
A blonde decided she needed something new and different for a winter hobby.
She went to the bookstore and bought every bookshe could find on ice fishing.
For weeks she read and studied every book, hoping to become anexpert in the field. Finally she decided she knew enough, and outshe went for her first ice fishing trip.
She carefully gathered up and packed all the tools and equipment needed for the excursion. Each piece of equipment had its own special place in her kit.
When she got to the ice, she found a quiet little area, placed her padded stool, and carefully laid out her tools.
Just as she was about to make her first cut into the ice, a booming voice from the sky bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice! "Startled, the blonde grabbed up all her belongings, moved further along the ice, poured some hot chocolate from her thermos, and started to cut a new hole.
Again the voice from above bellowed,"There are no fish under the ice!"Amazed, the blonde wasnt quite sure what to do, as this certainly wasnt covered in any of her books.
She packed up her gear and moved to the far side of the ice. Once there, she stopped for a few moments to regain her calm.
Then she was extremely careful to set everything up perfectly -- tools in the right place, chair positioned just so, everything.
Just as she was about to cut this new hole, the voice came again,"There are no fish under the ice! "Petrified, the blonde looked skyward and asked "Is that you Lord?"
The voice boomed back, "No, this is the manager of the skatingrink!"
Gotta get off, there is lightning!!!!
~Daydreamer
I am a 14 year old who homeschools (duh!), and am the oldest of e eight kids. I have one dog (German Sherpard) and some gold-fish. I love cofffee, and chocolate, and I like to read, listen to music, play music (the violin and the piano), and I also love to do algebra. I am trying to find out if Lord of the Rings is better than Star Wars. I like to do alot of things, But something that I do most of the time is daydream! Welcome Yourself To My Blog!
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Monday, June 9, 2008 - Untitled Comment