First let me say that I love the Pearls, and I love their ministry, No Greater Joy. After reading TOS Publisher, Gena Suarez's post on the UK tour and the uproar over TOS's association with the Pearls, I thought it would be a good idea to hear from one of my dear friends, and one of those “dangerous” Pearls themselves: Rebekah Pearl Anast. Judge for yourself whether Rebekah was abused by her parents – these are her own words:
Are Michael and Debi Pearl “Guilty as Charged?”
My name is
A handful of angry people have begun an outcry against Michael and Debi Pearl for the child-training principles in this book. These nay-sayers have also struck out against The Old Schoolhouse Magazine for refusing to reject the teaching of “the Pearls.” Along with quoting out of context, verbalized anger, and false assumptions, they have attacked those associated with the Pearl family, and threatened to shake the fragile platform of homeschooling in the UK by going to the media with the sensational story that certain UK homeschool groups are hosting the infamous Michael and Debi Pearl.
In every society there are “movers and shakers,” those people who call the media, make the stories (or the stink, as the case may be) and bring about changes that affect the thousands of ambivalent and, often clueless, masses. Some of these movers and shakers have the good of the masses in mind, others are simply angry, irrational people that need attention and like to make a scene. Unfortunately, the media thrives on these sensation-makers, and is quick to poison the waters of truth if the poison is offered on the silver platter of a “hot story.”
How do we combat the irrational and unfounded sensationalism that would poison the waters of our communities? With truth. If the media wants a story, give them the truth. Let them know that we are very aware of the lies and sensation being spread – but that we’re not afraid of it, because we know the truth.
These sensational story-tellers say that Michael and Debi Pearl teach child abuse, the subjection of women, and general injustice.
I would know (I am their daughter) whether their techniques are violent and unjust, or loving and temperate. I would know if the result is an emotionally damaged and fearful child, or a creative, successful, happy adult. I would know, yes, better than any one of these angry people, whether Michael and Debi Pearl are barbaric child abusers, or loving, successful parents.
Every type of abuse leaves evidence to prove its occurrence, whether it be a mark on the spirit or the body. Let me give you the evidence that is me:
I am 32 years old, married and the mother of three children. I am the happiest person I know, and my life is full of fruit; my own three very happy, balanced children who are completely sound in body and mind.
I have written articles, books, screenplays, and traveled the world for 4 years, meeting new people, eating new food, ministering to those in need, and loving life. I always returned to my favorite place and my favorite people… my family.
I married a wonderful man who is worth every moment of reverence and honor I give him; he is my best friend and only lover.
I have very few bad memories of childhood, all of which I can recall clearly; my dog dying, my hand getting cut on a fresh pine board, my brother being stung by bees, and my father’s grief over a friend’s suffering. That’s all that I can recall.
I remember only one spanking. I remember it because I laughed all the way through it, and so did my Dad. I had played a prank that was dangerous, but funny, and fully deserved a spanking for it, but my parents were unable to spank me without laughing. That is the only spanking I clearly remember. The others were so well-deserved my conscience was able to write off the memory once the deed was paid for.
I was never injured in body or spirit by the training I received. I was never “struck” in anger. I did receive non-injurous spankings on my fully clothed backside with a willow switch when I had clearly transgressed a known “law” of the house. These spankings did not leave bruises or abrasions, or emotional distress.
I learned by the gentlest way possible that foolishness has consequences and wise choices make life comfortable. This training has literally saved my life and I am eternally grateful to both my parents for using a literal rod to train my flesh to make wise choices.
My brothers and sisters were my best friends growing up. We did everything together; swimming, playing, working. We usually got in trouble together too, and when spankings were due, they were due all around. However, trouble was hard to find, as either Mom or Dad was almost always with us, joining in the fun, the projects, and the learning. From dancing in the rain, to building forts, to learning to ride a bike; they were there, so much a part of my life.
A person is innocent until proven guilty. I have proof that Michael and Debi Pearl are wise and loving parents: I am the proof, and every one of my siblings would agree with me.
Almost everything we (my parents) have ever written is available online for FREE on nogreaterjoy.org; and everything else is as inexpensive as possible while still allowing No Greater Joy to operate as a non-profit organization, geared toward helping thousands of parents and children.
A lot of information about the Pearl’s on the internet is simply taken out of context or completely misquoted. Look up the quotes on nogreaterjoy.org for yourself and make sure your source isn’t lying or misconstruing the truth. It’s important to the homeschool movement that we be accountable for our views, instead of blindly following the loudest sensationalist, or giving them credibility of any kind.
Rebekah (Pearl) Anast
I give full permission to reprint or repost this article in it’s entirety in any format.
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Another thing your folks taught you well… how to blow your own horn. Your folks are mixed up Rebecca, sorry.
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In California a young girl was beaten to death, and her sister is in the hospital recovering from being beaten with a PVC pipe. The parents claim they were following the teachings of the Pearls, and these are not the only children beaten to death who claim the same.
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sounds like she had a great childhood! -
I feel bad for all the ridicule that the Pearl family has had to endure. I believe the media should stop picking at families who are raising their children in the way of the Lord and start looking at the families that can't stay sober, abuse their children and those on welfare… to lazy to work. What are these parents teaching their children.
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Deborah is linked to no greater joy…What an Evil before GOD!!!
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Beka pearl is an atheist…NGJ is defiled…Mike Pearl is Satan
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Interesting debate. However I’m troubled by the dissonance between Rebekah’s assertion that discipline is acceptable as a response to ‘breaking household laws’, and her own statement in her recent Salon interview that she uses spanking to say ‘stop crying, buck up, be a happy girl.’ For a start this seems a bit idealistic – when did you every find yourself thinking ‘hmm, I feel sharp stinging pain in my leg. Whilst I was feeling momentarily disgruntled, I am now gleefully happy’? C’mon.
On a serious note though, this example seems to be about using physical discipline to punish inappropriate emotions, and I – admittedly coming from a different culture (secular, European) – feel very uncomfortable with this.Michel Foucault wrote – in Discipline and Punish – about the way that the idea of ‘gentle’ punishment has been used historically to make particular forms of violent social control more acceptable (and one example of this is the pathologisation of emotion, especially girls’ and women’s emotions). So, no, it’s not necessary to accuse parents who spank their children of abuse – but that doesn’t mean it’s OK. -
I just wanted to give a little reminder to anonymous, please display a Christian like attitude towards others when posting on their site. You rant and rave about people spanking their children because you interpret the Bible differently. Are you truly trying to serve others? If you are, it’s not coming across in your comments. You just sound hateful towards those with different views. I also have some concerns with the Pearls and some of their doctrine, but that doesn’t give me the right to be ungracious in my arguments. I am surprised that you have been allowed to continue to post on this site. I think that it is good to have differing views voiced and discussed, but I would have blocked you after a while because you don’t seem to be trying to have a discussion, but only want to rant about your views. I am sure that you have something to “bring to the table” but it’s hard to get past your anger to your actual points. If anyone brings a differing idea, it doesn’t seem like you thoughtfully answer. But you answer mostly with anger.
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Wow! All these comments are overwhelming to my spirit. All I want to say is that I DO know Christ personally and AM a disciple. Anyone can know Him and be a follower, disciple, of His.
John 3:16-17 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that WHOSOEVER believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not His Son ito the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved.
Are you a WHOSOEVER? I am!! -
Hi Mom!!!
Just your little cub here, dropping in to say HI !!
I am so glad that you are writing as unto the Lord. I wuv u!!
– Christopher Wuehler -
” I’m sure that every one of the disciples who spent time in jail and/or were martyred, along with Christians from all countries who have been and are still being persecuted and jailed for their strong Biblical beliefs would not and are not waffling on what they believe.”
So you are now comparing yourself to one of the Disciples, who knew Christ personally, incredible !“They all have one thing in common: they believe the Bible to be TRUE. All of it.”
The Bible ? Jesus was a Jew, so were his first Disciples, there was no Bible, the Torah yes which has NEVER been taken literally by the Jews, the word of God yes, to understand takes study, a literal reading is for fools alone. The New Testament was written hundreds of years after Christ had gone.
And so do I – jail or no jail. I will follow Christ, who followed His Father – from the Old Testament through to the New Testament and even until now. From the literal six day creation in Genesis to the literal return of Jesus Christ in Revelation. Every word is relevant. Every word is truth.Hmm.. interesting you know some of the really great saints you align yourself with, those who had a direct knowlege of Christs teachings exhibited many miraculous abilities, such as not being burnt when thrown into a furnace but dancing instead in the flames and comming out completely unharmed. I would say if you can display such miraculous abilities then you are worthy of a right to views that differ so radically from previous interpretations.
I am however certain that you do not posess such qualities.
On another note if the old testament or Torah was so complete and true, from your “Christian” perspective what exactly was Christ’s purpose in Preaching such a different view.
Example
Old Testament;- eye for an eye tooth for a tooth.
Jesus;- turn the other cheek, compassion, forgiveness. -
To not believe in a literal translation of the Old Testament is to say it is not a God breathed, “inspired” by God testament in the same way as the New Testament is. I take the ENTIRE bible to be the inspired words of God (not man) and I take them literally. The New Testament supports this as well, as we read in II Timothy:
“the Word of God is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.”
The writer was referring to the Old Testament. The writer’s of the New Testament always referred to the writings of the Old Testament as the very words of God and full of meaning and direction for their own lives. The writer’s themselves had a literal reading of the Old Testament. This is all they knew. This included the book of Proverbs.
What Jesus came to do was to fulfill the law of the Old Testament sacrifices and rituals. Not to do away with the intent of the law.
The New Testament says that God disciplines those He loves. This discipline is also seen throughout Israel’s history as literally laid out in the Old Testament. The children of Israel always went through the same cycle which included God’s discipline of them. The cycle went like this: Idolatry, Bondage, Repentance, Deliverance, Rest. The children of Israel fell into idolatry time and time again. God placed them in bondage. They repented. God heard them and sent a deliverer (Read Kings and Judges) after which they had a period of rest until they fell into idolatry again. God never gave up on them, but continued to discipline them until they repented, time and time again.
The argument that says a parent who loves his son does not discipline his son is an argument that is anti-biblical. For the Bible clearly states the opposite: A father disciplines the son He loves. And God is our Supreme example of just that, from the Old Testament to the New Testament. To neglect the discipline of our children is to hate them. To withhold discipline is to give up on them. To allow them to “be free” of all restraints is to leave them to themselves.
Proverbs says, “A child left to himself brings his mother to shame.” We must not leave our children to themselves if we love them. We must nurture them with loving consistent discipline. Just as Christ nurtures us with loving discipline. The New Testament says He prunes us. Pruning causes pain, but brings about great fruit in the end. Thje New Testament admonishes us to die to ourselves and take up His cross. These things can be painful, but they bring about true life.
The Old Testament and the New Testament are God breathed words – not of men, but of God. All of the words. They are not mere ink on paper for people to ponder ocassionally, but truth that is alive and active. Every single word is alive and is TRUTH.
Concerning going to jail for standing firm in our beliefs: I’m sure that every one of the disciples who spent time in jail and/or were martyred, along with Christians from all countries who have been and are still being persecuted and jailed for their strong Biblical beliefs would not and are not waffling on what they believe. They all have one thing in common: they believe the Bible to be TRUE. All of it. And so do I – jail or no jail. I will follow Christ, who followed His Father – from the Old Testament through to the New Testament and even until now. From the literal six day creation in Genesis to the literal return of Jesus Christ in Revelation. Every word is relevant. Every word is truth.
Even so, come Lord Jesus!
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Hmm,
Intellectual is over stating the point.
I think this is a fudge review,
Point is this behaviour is Illegal in most US states, Canada & the rest of the world.
Result > Practice This > You GO TO JAIL.
When in court I am not sure waffling on about Biblical this or that will count for squat. -
Excellent read: http://jacklewis.net/weblog/archives/2006/04/book_review_to.php
Posted April 8, 2006. Is it a witch hunt? These boycott people need to read the book first before casting stones. What is their true motive? Is it to save kids? Look at Doc’s blog and the others’ so vehemently opposing the Pearls. Read her archives, dig a little through her history of blogging – is she an advocate for children who are abused – or is she someone who hates God? What is she really after here?
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Well. That’s a lot of silly arguing towards the end, there. I can’t say that it was worded in a way that made me anything but indifferent to the anonymouses involved. A gracious blogger it is who allows anonymous flaming. Newspaper editors certainly don’t worry about that level of grace. If you don’t sign it, you don’t get printed.
For those interested, I’ve tracked down some links to the Paddock news coverage. That poor child.
Cat, Lazy Creek Zookeeper
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Those who study the scriptures come to a different conclusion
The Old Testament does have two references to corporal punishment, which are the mainstay of its proponents’ biblical defense. These are Proverbs 23:13 and Sirach 30:1-3. (In some translations, such as the N.A.B., the Sirach verse refers to discipline and education.) Yet, even Proverbs, taken by itself, is questionable, particularly when viewed as the rationale for a parent’s disciplinary foundation.
I say these references are questionable because contextual interpreters of the bible (Catholic scholars – as opposed to literal interpreters) wonder if “rod” is not used metaphorically, as in a shepherd’s rod. A shepherd would never beat his sheep – they are too precious and delicate. Also, could a “rod of violence” be used to bring comfort, as in “Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.” God’s truths do not contradict each other. A shepherd uses his rod to gently guide his flock – not to strike them. (A note on sheep husbandry: it is known that the fright of sudden noise alone can induce in sheep a shock which suppresses fertility. A sheep’s guardian, whose job it is to protect the economic value of his herd, is aware of the sensitivity of his flock’s constitution.)
“Rod” may also be understood as a unit of measure that figuratively refers to the Torah (like our term “scales of justice”). In other words, we can interpret the proverb: “Spare your child the ‘rod’ (the Torah), and they won’t ‘measure up.’”
Ultimately, the Old Testament must be understood through the prism of the New Testament – the fulfillment of the law. Indeed, the Fathers of the Church, saints and prelates from St. Hilary of Poitiers, St. Cyprian, St. Ambrose, St. Martin of Tours and St. Leo, consistently declared that the severe sanctions of the Old Testament were abrogated by the mild and gentle laws of Christ. The New Testament has a very different way of dealing with sinners than did the Old Testament. As an example, let us examine the parable of the Prodigal Son.
A son hurts his father deeply by abandoning righteous ways and pursuing a life of sin and folly. This the father knows. In response, does the father hunt down the child to give him a beating for the “open act of willful disobedience?” No. The father, being a wise man, allows his son to experience the logical consequences of his actions until he is so racked with sadness, estrangement and guilt that he comes running back to his father. The father then throws a party for the prodigal son. To celebrate the son’s immoral behavior? No, to celebrate the victory of Love over sin.
Some punishment. Is God a pushover? No. He simply does not add any harm he could do to us to the harm we have already chosen for ourselves. The father of the prodigal concentrates on a more important motivator: building a relationship that is so strong, so undeniably loving, that the son will never want to “leave His house” again.
Through the wisdom of Christ’s new mandate (John 13:34), we must learn the methods that will allow us to deal with our children’s transgressions the way God deals with ours. To do less is to diminish in our children’s eyes the very love of God. To do less is to live out the role of the servant in the parable who, forgiven his debts by the just King, exacts punishments upon those who owed him (Matt 18: 21-35).
When God reaches out to us with arms of love and forgiveness, but we treat our children to physical punishment, we are acting the part of the ungrateful servant. Will not God be faithful to his word and “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us?” (Matt 6:12)
http://www.nospank.net/popcak.htm -
Hello
I just found out about all of this within the last couple of days. I put up a post on my blog about and recieved a wonderful response from Rebekah Anast Pearl.
Lets join together in prayer for all these people.
Blessings,
Amity -
You know quoting Shakespeare seems silly. We are not serving a dead author, we are serving the Almighty God! We are not to worship our children, but to train them in the way they should go so that they shall not depart from it. We are to teach them of our beliefs and knowledge according to God’s own word. They are not meant to raise themselves, if so God would not have made them the most dependant creatures on earth, needing to depend upon their parents to take care of their every need for many many years in order to survive. We are not supposed to abuse them, but instruct them of God and all his righteous ways. If you do not read or understand the bible then this conversation is a moot point.
I have read To Train Up A Child as well. I found it to be sound. I took many things from this book, raising up your children and teaching them to have good and obedient hearts, and used them in raising my own boys. I have had many many compliments on my boys, their behaviour and their kind hearts. I have found the ones that complain about biblical training, have unruly and disobedient children themselves. They think they are doing their children a favor by giving them free rein and no boundaries, but these children end up getting lost in many ways and are starving for good solid guidance with a loving hand. God chastises those He loves, and we are supposed to do the same. No abuse necessary, just loving firm instruction.
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I am a big fan of the Pearls and very thankful that they have the courage they do. Thanks for the heads up!
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I am sorry to hear about your boycott of TOS. I can understand your grief over the death of the little boy. We are all grieving here as well.
Please understand that we in no way endorse what happened with that little boy. Unfortunately there are aberrant homeschoolers out there who give the normal homeschooler a bad name. Maybe you can picture this a different way. Let’s say a “homeschool” family neglects it’s children and they die of starvation. If we were all to stop homeschooling because of one family’s abuse, we would be doing a disservice to all of our children. Because one mother abuses her right to homeschool her children, should we all be punished by making homeschooling illegal? Because one mother abused her right as a parent by disciplining her child in a harmful way, should we all be banned from disciplining our children? Discipline given in a loving environment with a mother’s heart of concern over the future of her child, has been proven to produce grown loving adults. If you read Rebekah’s response above, you will see that she loves her parents and stated, “I have proof that Michael and Debi Pearl are wise and loving parents: I am the proof, and every one of my siblings would agree with me.” They love their parents; they love the loving discipline they were raised with, and they love life and God. No harm was ever done there, nor in the majority of homes where loving discipline is administered.
We appreciate your concern for the little boy. He is in a much better place now, thankfully.
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Deborah,
You are such an encourager, thank you I appreciate you for so many reasons but especially because you have a heart that is always loving.
Praying that your days are full of His glory.
Love,
Jennifer -
Thanks everyone for all the comments on Rebekah’s response. She’s a gem, and so is her family. They really minister to so many.
And, Jennifer, congratulations on the publishing of the book, “Homeschooling Methods” – you did an incredible job writing your chapter.
I highly recommend this new book from the publishers of TOS, Paul and Gena Suarez.
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Deborah,
Thanks for defending a family who have done so much to help other families. It is hard to imagine Christians having the time to devote to harrassing other Christians when there is so much better work to do.
Thanks for your friendship.
Love,
Jennifer -
I’m just now reading this. Thank you for posting Rebekah’s words.
I’ve never understood the big negative hooplah about the Pearls.
No matter what kind of discipline or training is used, it is the heart of the one handing out the training that makes all the difference. A harsh, unloving heart can pretend to be gentle all it wants, but the result of the actions of such a heart will be harsh and unloving.
On the other hand, if the heart of the parent is loving, gracious, and kind, then the training will bring that out in a child.
What the Pearls did was put something down on paper. And those who treat their children with respect and kindness and love probably read respect, kindness, and love into the Pearls words.
And those whose hearts are harsh and unloving…or fear that they might be harsh and unloving…would most likely read the same into the Pearls words.
What it boils down to is that it isn’t about what the Pearls do or write about or even how they write about it…it’s about how we percieve what they are doing and writing.
Thanks for taking the time and trouble to post this.
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Thanks so much Deborah for posting this. I have read the Pearl’s book myself and have used some of it in raising my 4 children. It was good to hear from their own daughter. It is sad to me that in this day and age that I as the mother of my children, the one God as entrusted to raise them up as they should be raised, I dont even dare spank one of them on the bottom in public when they need it, for fear of someone contacting the athorities and crying “child abuse” Maybe if more parents practiced the authority God gave them as the parent, we would not see so many kids in trouble. Again thanks for poating this.
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I’m glad to have read this from the Pearls daughter. I’ve often wondered what their children thought of their upbringing. Someone gave me a copy of “To Train Up a Child” and my husband and I read it together when our oldest was a baby. We discussed it and thought about it and pulled from the book some of the ideas and principles explained in the book. It was very helpful and useful to us. I have met a few (from my church, specifically) who thought I was crazy for reading that book. So I’m glad I read this from her. I’ll have to show my husband what she said.
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Amen, amen, amen. This is clearly a spriritual battle. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I think that one of the main focuses of the Pearls is the heart and attitude of the child. After all, isn’t that what the Lord examines? In this fleshy world those that purpose to do “what Jesus would” are persecuted.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you,persecute youand falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Mathew 5: 10-11
Laurie
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Deborah Wuehler
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