Odd Thoughts

From a Dog’s Diary:

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat’s Diary – Same Day

Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates of what I am capable. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!

The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe … for now.

Well…  I suppose I will be nice to you all and end your suspense.

That was quite a cliff hanger I left you with last time!  (I should write a suspense novel!!)

Anyway, I didn’t actually end up going to the hospital or anything like that.  All that happened is that myself and a couple friends got caught riding our bikes during the worst storm of the season!

When we started riding it was just sprinkling but by the end it was a complete downpour!!  We were so wet we started riding through the puddles because it really didn’t matter any more!

Well…  After all of that suspense, that us pretty much it!   We ended up going to my friend’s house to dry off and warm up a bit and then that was the end of the adventure!  Pretty booring huh!

Well…  I’m sorry!  I know you are all dissapointed but please don’t start any riots or anything!

Anyway, right now I am visiting my wonderful sister and the two cutest nephews in the entire world!!!

I love my family!!!

Adios!

Christopher

Ha!  You all thought that I would actually return soon and tell you about that awesome and insane bike ride that I went on didn’t you!!   Well…  I think I might just let that incredible suspense continue to build!

Anyway…  for an update on some of the other things that have been going on around here…

My Truck is not exactly fixed yet, but it works for now so I’m leaving it at that!

The big storm has passed, but now we are right in the middle of another one!

And this weekend, I’m going on a winter retreat!! 

Hopefully we will still be able to go.  If we get to much snow, we’ll have to cancel it.  So now, for the very first time of my life, I am actually praying that it won’t snow!!!  Pretty amazing huh!

Well…  I’ll think about getting back and telling you guys all about my insane ride including my trip to the hospital soon!

But I better go for now!

Adios!

Christopher

My truck just broke down.  Phooey.

Actually it’s not that bad.  It is still somewhat driveable.  But for some reason the four wheel drive is causing problems with the steering.

It seems to be having problems deciding whether or not to lock or unlock the front wheel hubs (dissengage or engage the 4×4)  So every now and then (namely when I’m flying along on a crowded freeway) it tries to reengage the 4×4.  This causes the steering to bounce around like crazy (not to much fun when you are barreling along at 55!!)

At first I thought that I had a flat tire because of how it was bouncing and making a regular "thump thump" so I pulled over and turned on my emergency flashers.  Luckly I was pretty close to an offramp so I was able to make it off the freeway pretty easily. 

So anyway…  I’m ok, (I didn’t get hit while on the freeway or anything ) but my truck is disbehaving and I’m not sure how to fix it!

Oh well…  Such is the price of freedom eh!

Adios!

Christopher

Think about this people!

Adios!

Christopher

Why do we ((sleep)) in [[church]],

But stay ((awake)) for a [[two hour movie]]?

Why is it so ((hard)) to talk about [[God]],

But so ((easy)) to [[gossip]]?

Why are we so ((bored)) when we look at a [[Christian magazine]],

But find it ((easy))  to read [[US weekly]]?

Why is it so easy to ((ignore)) a [[Godly]] facebook wall post,

Yet we ((repost)) the [[nasty]] ones?

Why are ((churches)) getting [[smaller]],

But ((bars and clubs)) are [[growing]]?

Think about it, are you going to repost this?

Would you have opened this is if it said "Read this in God’s name"?

Go ahead!  Repost it!